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1 | so let me tell you about this time i saved a girl friend's life | |
2 | i hope | |
3 | ||
4 | she showed up at my door one night screaming | |
5 | ||
6 | she lived downstairs in the house I was living in with Charity at the time | |
7 | or maybe Charity was visiting after we had broken up | |
8 | or | |
9 | whatever | |
10 | ||
11 | we, charity and I, were hanging out watching a movie | |
12 | and then we heard screaming | |
13 | ||
14 | no, i think earlier | |
15 | this girl | |
16 | a friend of charities that I knew | |
17 | that lived downstairs | |
18 | with her boyfriend | |
19 | invited us down to party, or just hang out | |
20 | ||
21 | "there's a big bag of mushrooms" | |
22 | ||
23 | i think her boy was a dealer, but whatever | |
24 | we didn't feel like it | |
25 | and besides i don't like mushrooms that much anyways | |
26 | ||
27 | so charity and i were hanging out | |
28 | and | |
29 | screaming | |
30 | ||
31 | "i'm dying" | |
32 | "i'm dying" | |
33 | ||
34 | "i'm dying" | |
35 | ||
36 | knowing she was probably high and might be freaking out | |
37 | i didn't really panic | |
38 | because i've dealt with people | |
39 | having bad trips before | |
40 | ||
41 | mostly strangers | |
42 | so i opened the door | |
43 | ||
44 | and she was standing there | |
45 | ||
46 | ||
47 | ||
48 | ||
49 | and her arm had been cut open almost elbow to wrist | |
50 | with a razor | |
51 | she had taken apart | |
52 | ||
53 | when she was along in her apartment | |
54 | after taking | |
55 | probably | |
56 | a huge amount of mushrooms | |
57 | by | |
58 | herself | |
59 | ||
60 | but i don't know how much she took | |
61 | i just assumed | |
62 | because at that momemtn | |
63 | ||
64 | IDIDN"TFUCKINGCARE | |
65 | ||
66 | and she was bleeding | |
67 | alot | |
68 | and the cut | |
69 | was | |
70 | deep | |
71 | ||
72 | very deep | |
73 | i could tell i've been cut before | |
74 | and i'm no doctor | |
75 | but i could tell | |
76 | ||
77 | it was really bad | |
78 | ||
79 | so i did what little i knew how to do | |
80 | ||
81 | i learned this once | |
82 | when i was working in a restaurant | |
83 | ||
84 | ||
85 | i used to get bored | |
86 | and the hobby we had | |
87 | was to sharpen the knives | |
88 | because | |
89 | you were bored | |
90 | and anybody that handles a knife knows a dull knife | |
91 | ||
92 | is way more dangerous than a sharp knife | |
93 | when you know how to use a | |
94 | knife | |
95 | because | |
96 | a dull knife | |
97 | you have to use a lot of force to cut and when you do that | |
98 | and you | |
99 | ||
100 | slip | |
101 | ||
102 | you can cut right through your fucking | |
103 | whatever | |
104 | by mistake | |
105 | ||
106 | and that totally sucks | |
107 | ||
108 | fully | |
109 | ||
110 | especially when you cut off the ennd of your thumb | |
111 | right before lunchtime rush | |
112 | in a sandwhich shop | |
113 | ||
114 | and you still have to make fucking sandwiches | |
115 | with a fucking glove | |
116 | and your fucking finger wrapped in | |
117 | ||
118 | papertowles | |
119 | ||
120 | and youre making these sandwiches | |
121 | for all these | |
122 | lady government employees on lunch break | |
123 | ||
124 | and you're like | |
125 | ||
126 | bleeding | |
127 | ||
128 | and kinda like | |
129 | ||
130 | SORRY I"M BLEEDING | |
131 | ||
132 | while you make their sandwiches | |
133 | but you had to | |
134 | ||
135 | because | |
136 | ||
137 | what was the owner going to do while he worked with me | |
138 | or the manager or whatever the guy that I worked with that said | |
139 | ||
140 | "yeah, I wanted to be a rockstar one day too..." | |
141 | ||
142 | all by himself during a lunch rush | |
143 | ||
144 | he cut the end of his finger off once too | |
145 | REAL BAD LIKE | |
146 | a and had to save the end | |
147 | and get it sewn back on | |
148 | ||
149 | anyways! | |
150 | ||
151 | so i was working in the pizza shop | |
152 | with a real sharp knife | |
153 | ||
154 | and we always cleaned the knives | |
155 | because | |
156 | ||
157 | they | |
158 | woud | |
159 | get | |
160 | dirty | |
161 | ||
162 | and that's no good when you're working with food. | |
163 | ||
164 | so i cleaned the knived regularly | |
165 | with a wet cloth | |
166 | and | |
167 | then | |
168 | one day | |
169 | ||
170 | i cleaned the knife facing the wrong way | |
171 | and sliced the meat part of my palm open | |
172 | with the blade | |
173 | and went | |
174 | ||
175 | OW | |
176 | ||
177 | and dropped the knife | |
178 | and | |
179 | PUSHED THAT FUCKER TOGETHER REAL GOOD | |
180 | ||
181 | and held it there | |
182 | and it wasn't busy | |
183 | so i could | |
184 | ||
185 | take care of my own personal medical needs at work while I was alone working | |
186 | ||
187 | so i pressed that together and held it | |
188 | and eventually | |
189 | i bandaged it | |
190 | and it stuck | |
191 | ||
192 | and then it healed | |
193 | ||
194 | and | |
195 | NO SKARS | |
196 | ||
197 | it was kinda neat. worked real good and I was suprizd, because it was a pretty | |
198 | clean deep cut, or it seemed deep | |
199 | ||
200 | at the time. | |
201 | ||
202 | ||
203 | so back to my bleeding friend on mushrooms that has just sliced her arm open | |
204 | ||
205 | ||
206 | so i was like | |
207 | ||
208 | looking | |
209 | ||
210 | a bit suprized to see | |
211 | ||
212 | her arm sliced open | |
213 | ||
214 | and i just kinda | |
215 | ||
216 | not in any sort of funny way at all | |
217 | ||
218 | "stand back" | |
219 | ||
220 | and she was screaming | |
221 | and charity | |
222 | i don't thik | |
223 | really knew what to do | |
224 | ||
225 | this apartment | |
226 | was a room | |
227 | and the bathroom | |
228 | was right beside the door | |
229 | to my room | |
230 | our room | |
231 | charity and i | |
232 | ||
233 | it had a little kitchen | |
234 | ||
235 | and i went qyuickly | |
236 | and got a towel | |
237 | the first thing i could see | |
238 | that i could use | |
239 | to both | |
240 | collect the blood | |
241 | and | |
242 | ||
243 | ||
244 | so i took the towel and | |
245 | kinda gently | |
246 | ||
247 | because she was totally freaking out | |
248 | ||
249 | pressed the cut together | |
250 | and held it | |
251 | ||
252 | the easy part was over | |
253 | ||
254 | because | |
255 | she was still | |
256 | completely freaking out | |
257 | ||
258 | "i'm dying" | |
259 | ||
260 | "i'm going to die" | |
261 | ||
262 | "..." | |
263 | ||
264 | "no, you're not going to die" | |
265 | ||
266 | "yes! I 'm dyng." | |
267 | ||
268 | "no." | |
269 | and i just tried my best to calm her down | |
270 | and i think i took her | |
271 | into the bathroom | |
272 | ||
273 | to keep the blood from staining the carpet | |
274 | it wasn't my house | |
275 | ||
276 | and we sat on the edge of the bathtub | |
277 | and i just | |
278 | tried to keep her calm | |
279 | ||
280 | while charity called the ambulance | |
281 | ||
282 | ... | |
283 | ||
284 | ||
285 | i think | |
286 | 7 cops showed up | |
287 | before the ambulance | |
288 | ||
289 | or something | |
290 | my memory might be fading about that part | |
291 | ||
292 | and they questioned me | |
293 | and i told them | |
294 | the truth | |
295 | ||
296 | about what happened | |
297 | ||
298 | but | |
299 | i kinda got this feeling | |
300 | like | |
301 | ||
302 | theythoughtiwaslying | |
303 | ||
304 | that i | |
305 | had given her the drugs | |
306 | ||
307 | that | |
308 | somehow | |
309 | ||
310 | what had happend | |
311 | ||
312 | was my fault | |
313 | ||
314 | when in fact | |
315 | ||
316 | charity and i | |
317 | were upstairs | |
318 | watching a movie | |
319 | when | |
320 | our | |
321 | friend | |
322 | came | |
323 | up | |
324 | bleeding | |
325 | and | |
326 | screaming | |
327 | ||
328 | finally | |
329 | eventually | |
330 | the ambulance showed up | |
331 | ||
332 | and the took her away | |
333 | ||
334 | and she got | |
335 | lots of stitches | |
336 | ||
337 | and i think | |
338 | some nerve damage | |
339 | ||
340 | i remember seeing her after | |
341 | ||
342 | a while after | |
343 | and she had | |
344 | * INS one-of-the-time | |
345 | and she had | |
346 | a bandage around her arm | |
347 | ||
348 | i think she's ok | |
349 | ||
350 | or at least | |
351 | ||
352 | i know she didn't die | |
353 | ||
354 | beacuse i saw her again | |
355 | and she was | |
356 | totally alive | |
357 | ||
358 | i can tell | |
359 | ||
360 | i think she thanked me | |
361 | and i was like | |
362 | ||
363 | no problem | |
364 | ||
365 | but not super cool | |
366 | just kinda | |
367 | hoping | |
368 | ||
369 | she was ok | |
370 | and she didn't | |
371 | ever | |
372 | do that again | |
373 | ||
374 | ||
375 | one time | |
376 | she came up | |
377 | to see me before | |
378 | this happened | |
379 | ||
380 | she was kinda drunk | |
381 | and in a skirt | |
382 | and | |
383 | ||
384 | i think we just kinda hung out | |
385 | and | |
386 | i gave her some water | |
387 | because when you're drunk and you just got home | |
388 | the best way to get rid of | |
389 | or to not get a hangover | |
390 | is to drink a whole bunch of water | |
391 | ||
392 | i learned that | |
393 | when i was drinking all the time | |
394 | asprin works good in the morning | |
395 | ||
396 | she came up | |
397 | to see me before | |
398 | this happened | |
399 | ||
400 | she was kinda drunk | |
401 | and in a skirt | |
402 | and | |
403 | ||
404 | i think we just kinda hung out | |
405 | and | |
406 | i gave her some water | |
407 | ||
408 | because when you're drunk and you just got home | |
409 | the best way to get rid of | |
410 | or to not get a hangover | |
411 | is to drink a whole bunch of water | |
412 | ||
413 | i learned that | |
414 | when i was drinking | |
415 | all the time | |
416 | ||
417 | asprin works good in the morning | |
418 | ||
419 | but really | |
420 | the best is | |
421 | ||
422 | not to drink too much | |
423 | so you don't get a hangover | |
424 | ||
425 | easy | |
426 | ||
427 | just not that easy for me | |
428 | ||
429 | some people have problems with that so it's best to encourage them | |
430 | ||
431 | nottofuckingdrinkandbesupportiveandhelpthem | |
432 | # charity was really good at that "you're so hot when you hold that glass of water..." i just, succumbed to peer pressure beacause of the dirty looks I would get from the bartenders because, I guess, I wasn't tipping enough for my glasses of fucking water or something. | |
433 | ||
434 | but whatever | |
435 | ||
436 | so yeah, | |
437 | i didn't really need first aid for that | |
438 | i just kinda knew from experience | |
439 | ||
440 | what to do when my friend | |
441 | shows up at my door | |
442 | with a | |
443 | ||
444 | lacerated arm and artery | |
445 | at night | |
446 | ||
447 | ||
448 | i don’t remember her name |