View difference between Paste ID: ViAS4XAu and QsezJ0Y4
SHOW: | | - or go back to the newest paste.
1
so let me tell you about this time i saved a girl friend's life                 
2
i hope                                                                          
3
                                                                                
4
she showed up at my door one night screaming                                    
5
                                                                                
6
she lived downstairs in the house I was living in with Charity at the time      
7
or maybe Charity was visiting after we had broken up                            
8
or                                                                              
9
whatever                                                                        
10
                                                                                
11
we, charity and I, were hanging out watching a movie                            
12
and then we heard screaming                                                     
13
                                                                                
14
no, i think earlier                                                             
15
this girl                                                                       
16
a friend of charities that I knew                                               
17
that lived downstairs                                                           
18
with her boyfriend                                                              
19
invited us down to party, or just hang out                                      
20
                                                                                
21
"there's a big bag of mushrooms"                                                
22
                                                                                
23
i think her boy was a dealer, but whatever                                      
24
we didn't feel like it                                                          
25
and besides                                                                     i don't like mushrooms that much anyways                                        
26
                                                                                
27
so charity and i were hanging out                                               
28
and                                                                             
29
screaming                                                                       
30
                                                                                
31
"i'm dying"                                                                     
32
"i'm dying"                                                                     
33
                                                                                
34
"i'm dying"                                                                     
35
                                                                                
36
knowing she was probably high and might be freaking out                         
37
i didn't really panic                                                           
38
because i've dealt with people                                                  
39
having bad trips before                                                         
40
                                                                                
41
mostly strangers                                                                
42
                                                                                so i opened the door                                                            
43
                                                                                
44
and she was standing there                                                      
45
                                                                                
46
                                                                                
47
                                                                                
48
                                                                                
49
                                                                                and her arm had been cut open almost elbow to wrist                             
50
with a razor        
51
she had taken apart                                                             
52
                                                                                
53
when she was along in her apartment                                             
54
after taking                                                                    
55
probably                                                                        
56
a huge amount of mushrooms                                                      
57
by                                                                              
58
herself                                                                         
59
                                                                                
60
but i don't know how much she took                                              
61
i just assumed                                                                  
62
because at that momemtn                                                         
63
                                                                                
64
IDIDN"TFUCKINGCARE                                                              
65
                                                                                
66
and she was bleeding                                                            
67
alot                                                                            
68
and the cut                                                                     
69
was                                                                             
70
deep                                                                            
71
                                                                                
72
very deep                                                                       
73
i could tell                                                                    i've been cut before                                                            
74
and i'm no doctor                                                               
75
but i could tell                                                                
76
                                                                                
77
it was really bad                                                               
78
                                                                                
79
so i did what little i knew how to do                                           
80
                                                                                
81
i learned this once                                                             
82
when i was working in a restaurant                                              
83
                                                                                
84
                                                                                
85
i used to get bored                                                             
86
and the hobby we had                                                            
87
was to sharpen the knives                                                       
88
because                                                                         
89
you were bored                                                                  
90
and anybody that handles a knife knows                                          a dull knife                                                                    
91
                                                                                
92
is way more dangerous than a sharp knife                                        
93
when you know how to use a                                                      
94
knife                                                                           
95
because                                                                         
96
a dull knife                                                                    
97
you have to use a lot of force to cut                                           and when you do that                                                            
98
                                        and you                                                                         
99
                                                                                
100
slip                                                                            
101
                                                                                
102
you can cut right through your fucking                                          
103
whatever                                                                        
104
by mistake                                                                      
105
                                                                                
106
and that totally sucks                                                          
107
                                                                                
108
fully                                                                           
109
                                                                                
110
especially when you cut off the ennd of your thumb                              
111
right before lunchtime rush                                                     
112
in a sandwhich shop                                                             
113
                                                                                
114
and you still have to make fucking sandwiches                                   
115
with a fucking glove                                                            
116
and your fucking finger wrapped in                                              
117
                                                                                
118
papertowles                                                                     
119
                                                                                
120
and youre making these sandwiches                                               
121
for all these                                                                                                                                                   
122
lady government employees on lunch break                                        
123
                                                                                
124
and you're like                                                                 
125
                                                                                
126
bleeding                                                                        
127
                                                                                
128
and kinda like                                                                  
129
                                                                                
130
SORRY I"M BLEEDING                                                              
131
                                                                                
132
while you make their sandwiches                                                 
133
but you had to                                                                  
134
                                                                                
135
because                                                                         
136
                                                                                
137
what was the owner going to do while he worked with me                          
138
or the manager                                                                  or whatever the guy that I worked with that said                                
139
                                                                                
140
"yeah, I wanted to be a rockstar one day too..."                                
141
                                                                                
142
all by himself during a lunch rush                                              
143
                                                                                
144
he cut the end of his finger off once too                                       
145
                                                                                REAL BAD LIKE                                                                   
146
                                                                                a     and had to save the end                                                         
147
and get it sewn back on                                                         
148
                                                                                
149
anyways!                                                                        
150
                                                                                
151
so i was working in the pizza shop                                              
152
with a real sharp knife                                                         
153
                                                                                
154
and we always cleaned the knives                                                
155
because                                                                         
156
                                                                                
157
they                                                                            
158
woud                                                                            
159
get                                                                             
160
dirty                                                                           
161
                                                                                
162
and that's no good when you're working with food.                               
163
                                                                                
164
so i cleaned the knived regularly                                               
165
with a wet cloth                                                                
166
and                                                                             
167
then                                                                            
168
one day                                                                         
169
                                                                                
170
i cleaned the knife facing the wrong way                                                                                                                        
171
and sliced the meat part of my palm open                                        
172
with the blade                                                                  
173
and went                                                                        
174
                                                                                
175
OW                                                                              
176
                                                                                
177
and dropped the knife                                                           
178
and                                                                             
179
PUSHED THAT FUCKER TOGETHER REAL GOOD                                           
180
                                                                                
181
and held it there                                                               
182
and it wasn't busy                                                              
183
so i could                                                                      
184
                                                                                
185
take care of my own personal medical needs at work while I was alone working    
186
                                                                                
187
so i pressed that together                                                      and held it                                                                     
188
and eventually                                                                  
189
i bandaged it                                                                   
190
and it stuck                                                                    
191
                                                                                
192
and then it healed                                                              
193
                                                                                
194
and                                                                                                                                                             
195
NO SKARS                                                                                                                                              
196
197
it was kinda neat. worked real good and I was suprizd, because it was a pretty  
198
clean deep cut, or it seemed deep                                               
199
                                                                                
200
at the time.                                                                    
201
                                                                                
202
                                                                                
203
so back to my bleeding friend on mushrooms that has just sliced her arm open    
204
                                                                                
205
                                                                                
206
so i was like                                                                   
207
                                                                                
208
looking                                                                         
209
                                                                                
210
a bit suprized to see                                                           
211
                                                                                
212
her arm sliced open                                                             
213
                                                                                
214
and i just kinda                                                                
215
                                                                                
216
not in any sort of funny way at all                                             
217
                                                                                
218
"stand back"                                                                    
219
                                                                                
220
and she was screaming                                                                                                                                           
221
and charity                                                                     
222
i don't thik                                                                    
223
really knew what to do                                                          
224
                                                                                
225
this apartment                                                                  
226
was a room                                                                      
227
and the bathroom                                                                
228
was right beside the door                                                       
229
to my room                                                                      
230
our room                                                                        
231
charity and i                                                                   
232
                                                                                
233
it had a little kitchen                                                         
234
                                                                                
235
and i went qyuickly                                                             
236
and got a towel                                                                 
237
                                                                                the first thing i could see                                                     
238
that i could use                                                                
239
to both                                                                         
240
collect the blood                                                               
241
and                                                                             
242
                                                                                
243
                                                                                
244
so i took the towel                                                             and                                                                             
245
kinda                                                                           gently                
246
247
because she was totally freaking out                                            
248
                                                                                
249
pressed the cut together                                                        
250
and held it                                                                     
251
                                                                                
252
the easy part was over                                                          
253
                                                                                
254
because                                                                         
255
she was still                                                                   
256
completely freaking out                                                         
257
                                                                                
258
"i'm dying"                                                                     
259
                                                                                
260
"i'm going to die"                                                              
261
                                                                                
262
"..."                                                                           
263
                                                                                
264
"no, you're not going to die"                                                   
265
                                                                                
266
"yes! I 'm dyng."                                                               
267
                                                                                
268
"no."                                                                           
269
                                                                                and i just tried my best to calm her down                                       
270
and i think i took her                                                          
271
into the bathroom                                                               
272
                                                                                
273
to keep the blood from staining the carpet                                      
274
it wasn't my house                                                              
275
                                                                                
276
and we sat on the edge of the bathtub                                           
277
and i just                                                                      
278
tried to keep her calm                                                          
279
                                                                                
280
while charity called the ambulance                                              
281
                                                                                
282
...                                                                             
283
                                                                                
284
                                                                                
285
i think                                                                         
286
7 cops showed up                                                                                                                                                
287
before the ambulance                                                            
288
                                                                                
289
or something                                                                    
290
my memory might be fading about that part                                       
291
                                                                                
292
and they questioned me                                                          
293
                                                                                and i told them                                                                 
294
                                                                                the truth       
295
296
about what happened                                                             
297
                                                                                
298
but                                                                             
299
i kinda got this feeling                                                        
300
like                                                                            
301
                                                                                
302
theythoughtiwaslying                                                            
303
                                                                                
304
that i                                                                          
305
had given her the drugs                                                         
306
                                                                                
307
that                                                                            
308
somehow                                                                         
309
                                                                                
310
what had happend                                                                
311
                                                                                
312
was my fault                                                                    
313
                                                                                
314
when in fact                                                                    
315
                                                                                
316
charity and i                                                                   
317
were upstairs                                                                   
318
watching a movie                                                                                                                                                
319
when                                                                            
320
our                                                                             
321
friend                                                                          
322
came                                                                            
323
up                                                                              
324
bleeding                                                                        
325
and                                                                             
326
screaming                                                                       
327
                                                                                
328
finally                                                                         
329
eventually                                                                      
330
the ambulance showed up                                                         
331
                                                                                
332
and the took her away                                                           
333
                                                                                
334
and she got                                                                     
335
                                                                                lots of stitches                                                                
336
                                                                                
337
and i think                                                                     
338
some nerve damage                                                               
339
                                                                                
340
i remember seeing her after                                                     
341
                                                                                
342
                                                                                a while after                                                                   
343
                                                                                and she had                                                                     
344
 *   INS  one-of-the-time
345
and she had                                                                     
346
a bandage around her arm                                                        
347
                                                                                
348
i think she's ok                                                                
349
                                                                                
350
or at least                                                                     
351
                                                                                
352
i know she didn't die                                                           
353
                                                                                
354
beacuse i saw her again                                                         
355
and she was                                                                     
356
totally alive                                                                   
357
                                                                                
358
i can tell                                                                      
359
                                                                                
360
i think she thanked me                                                          
361
and i was like                                                                  
362
                                                                                
363
no problem                                                                      
364
                                                                                
365
but not super cool                                                              
366
just kinda                                                                      
367
hoping                                                                          
368
                                                                                
369
she was ok                                                                                                                                                      
370
and she didn't                                                                  
371
ever                                                                            
372
do that again                                                                   
373
                                                                                
374
                                                                                
375
one time                                                                        
376
she came up                                                                     
377
to see me before                                                                
378
this happened                                                                   
379
                                                                                
380
she was kinda drunk                                                             
381
and in a skirt                                                                  
382
and                                                                             
383
                                                                                
384
i think we just kinda hung out                                                  
385
and                                                                             
386
i gave her some water                                                                                                                                           
387
because when you're drunk and you just got home                                 
388
the best way to get rid of                                                      
389
or to not get a hangover                                                        
390
is to drink a whole bunch of water                                              
391
                                                                                
392
i learned that                                                                  
393
when i was drinking                                                             all the time                                                                    
394
                                                                                asprin works good in the morning  
395
396
she came up                                                                     
397
to see me before                                                                
398
this happened                                                                   
399
                                                                                
400
she was kinda drunk                                                             
401
and in a skirt                                                                  
402
and                                                                             
403
                                                                                
404
i think we just kinda hung out                                                  
405
and                                                                             
406
i gave her some water                                                           
407
                                                                                
408
because when you're drunk and you just got home                                 
409
the best way to get rid of                                                      
410
or to not get a hangover                                                        
411
is to drink a whole bunch of water                                              
412
                                                                                
413
i learned that                                                                  
414
when i was drinking                                                             
415
all the time                                                                    
416
                                                                                
417
asprin works good in the morning                                                
418
                                                                                
419
but really                                                                      
420
                                                                                the best is                                                                     
421
                                                                                
422
not to drink too much                                                           
423
so you don't get a hangover                                                     
424
                                                                                
425
easy                                                                            
426
                                                                                
427
just not that easy for me                                                       
428
                                                                                
429
some people have problems with that so it's best to encourage them              
430
                                                                                
431
nottofuckingdrinkandbesupportiveandhelpthem                                     
432
 # charity was really good at that "you're so hot when you hold that glass of water..." i just, succumbed to peer pressure beacause of the dirty looks I would get from the bartenders because, I guess, I wasn't tipping enough for my glasses of fucking water or something. 
433
                                                                               
434
but whatever                                                                    
435
                                                                                
436
so yeah,                                                                        
437
i didn't really need first aid for that                                         
438
i just kinda knew                                                               from experience                                                                 
439
                                                                                
440
what to do when my friend                                                       
441
shows up at my door                                                             
442
with a                                                                          
443
                                                                                
444
lacerated arm and artery                                                        
445
                                                                                at night                   
446
447
448
i don’t remember her name