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- so let me tell you about this time i saved a girl friend's life
- i hope
- she showed up at my door one night screaming
- she lived downstairs in the house I was living in with Charity at the time
- or maybe Charity was visiting after we had broken up
- or
- whatever
- we, charity and I, were hanging out watching a movie
- and then we heard screaming
- no, i think earlier
- this girl
- a friend of charities that I knew
- that lived downstairs
- with her boyfriend
- invited us down to party, or just hang out
- "there's a big bag of mushrooms"
- i think her boy was a dealer, but whatever
- we didn't feel like it
- and besides i don't like mushrooms that much anyways
- so charity and i were hanging out
- and
- screaming
- "i'm dying"
- "i'm dying"
- "i'm dying"
- knowing she was probably high and might be freaking out
- i didn't really panic
- because i've dealt with people
- having bad trips before
- mostly strangers
- so i opened the door
- and she was standing there
- and her arm had been cut open almost elbow to wrist
- with a razor
- she had taken apart
- when she was along in her apartment
- after taking
- probably
- a huge amount of mushrooms
- by
- herself
- but i don't know how much she took
- i just assumed
- because at that momemtn
- IDIDN"TFUCKINGCARE
- and she was bleeding
- alot
- and the cut
- was
- deep
- very deep
- i could tell i've been cut before
- and i'm no doctor
- but i could tell
- it was really bad
- so i did what little i knew how to do
- i learned this once
- when i was working in a restaurant
- i used to get bored
- and the hobby we had
- was to sharpen the knives
- because
- you were bored
- and anybody that handles a knife knows a dull knife
- is way more dangerous than a sharp knife
- when you know how to use a
- knife
- because
- a dull knife
- you have to use a lot of force to cut and when you do that
- and you
- slip
- you can cut right through your fucking
- whatever
- by mistake
- and that totally sucks
- fully
- especially when you cut off the ennd of your thumb
- right before lunchtime rush
- in a sandwhich shop
- and you still have to make fucking sandwiches
- with a fucking glove
- and your fucking finger wrapped in
- papertowles
- and youre making these sandwiches
- for all these
- lady government employees on lunch break
- and you're like
- bleeding
- and kinda like
- SORRY I"M BLEEDING
- while you make their sandwiches
- but you had to
- because
- what was the owner going to do while he worked with me
- or the manager or whatever the guy that I worked with that said
- "yeah, I wanted to be a rockstar one day too..."
- all by himself during a lunch rush
- he cut the end of his finger off once too
- REAL BAD LIKE
- a and had to save the end
- and get it sewn back on
- anyways!
- so i was working in the pizza shop
- with a real sharp knife
- and we always cleaned the knives
- because
- they
- woud
- get
- dirty
- and that's no good when you're working with food.
- so i cleaned the knived regularly
- with a wet cloth
- and
- then
- one day
- i cleaned the knife facing the wrong way
- and sliced the meat part of my palm open
- with the blade
- and went
- OW
- and dropped the knife
- and
- PUSHED THAT FUCKER TOGETHER REAL GOOD
- and held it there
- and it wasn't busy
- so i could
- take care of my own personal medical needs at work while I was alone working
- so i pressed that together and held it
- and eventually
- i bandaged it
- and it stuck
- and then it healed
- and
- NO SKARS
- it was kinda neat. worked real good and I was suprizd, because it was a pretty
- clean deep cut, or it seemed deep
- at the time.
- so back to my bleeding friend on mushrooms that has just sliced her arm open
- so i was like
- looking
- a bit suprized to see
- her arm sliced open
- and i just kinda
- not in any sort of funny way at all
- "stand back"
- and she was screaming
- and charity
- i don't thik
- really knew what to do
- this apartment
- was a room
- and the bathroom
- was right beside the door
- to my room
- our room
- charity and i
- it had a little kitchen
- and i went qyuickly
- and got a towel
- the first thing i could see
- that i could use
- to both
- collect the blood
- and
- so i took the towel and
- kinda gently
- because she was totally freaking out
- pressed the cut together
- and held it
- the easy part was over
- because
- she was still
- completely freaking out
- "i'm dying"
- "i'm going to die"
- "..."
- "no, you're not going to die"
- "yes! I 'm dyng."
- "no."
- and i just tried my best to calm her down
- and i think i took her
- into the bathroom
- to keep the blood from staining the carpet
- it wasn't my house
- and we sat on the edge of the bathtub
- and i just
- tried to keep her calm
- while charity called the ambulance
- ...
- i think
- 7 cops showed up
- before the ambulance
- or something
- my memory might be fading about that part
- and they questioned me
- and i told them
- the truth
- about what happened
- but
- i kinda got this feeling
- like
- theythoughtiwaslying
- that i
- had given her the drugs
- that
- somehow
- what had happend
- was my fault
- when in fact
- charity and i
- were upstairs
- watching a movie
- when
- our
- friend
- came
- up
- bleeding
- and
- screaming
- finally
- eventually
- the ambulance showed up
- and the took her away
- and she got
- lots of stitches
- and i think
- some nerve damage
- i REMember seeing her after
- a while after
- and she had
- * INS one-of-the-time
- and she had
- a bandage around her arm
- i think she's ok
- or at least
- i know she didn't die
- beacuse i saw her again
- and she was
- totally alive
- i can tell
- i think she thanked me
- and i was like
- no problem
- but not super cool
- just kinda
- hoping
- she was ok
- and she didn't
- ever
- do that again
- one time
- she came up
- to see me before
- this happened
- she was kinda drunk
- and in a skirt
- and
- i think we just kinda hung out
- and
- i gave her some water
- because when you're drunk and you just got home
- the best way to get rid of
- or to not get a hangover
- is to drink a whole bunch of water
- i learned that
- when i was drinking all the time
- asprin works good in the morning
- she came up
- to see me before
- this happened
- she was kinda drunk
- and in a skirt
- and
- i think we just kinda hung out
- and
- i gave her some water
- because when you're drunk and you just got home
- the best way to get rid of
- or to not get a hangover
- is to drink a whole bunch of water
- i learned that
- when i was drinking
- all the time
- asprin works good in the morning
- but really
- the best is
- not to drink too much
- so you don't get a hangover
- easy
- just not that easy for me
- some people have problems with that so it's best to encourage them
- nottofuckingdrinkandbesupportiveandhelpthem
- but whatever
- so yeah,
- i didn't really need first aid for that
- i just kinda knew from experience
- what to do when my friend
- shows up at my door
- with a
- lacerated arm and artery
- at night
- i don’t remember her name
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