Kanto News Network

1) Tonight's top story, the once endangered species bulbasaur is now thriving in Viridian forest. It was believed that only a few dozen still existed in the wild, but a population of thousands has been discovered in the quiet forest north of Viridian.  One Pokemon trainer claims that a mysterious man continuously battles his weedle and as soon as the battle ends exclaims "Fucking 15 again" and disappears leaving just his bulbasaur and Pidgey behind.

2) Tonight's top story, Safari Zone officials have been under fire tonight as it is believed that in an attempt to maximize their profits they began attempting to pass regular pokeballs as safari balls. The new balls have a crudely painted safari ball design over top of them and according to safari-goers are much less likely to capture pokemon. More on this story tonight.

3) Reagrding the strange occurrences this week KNN has managed to receive the following statement from Safferon's Head of Police: "We're unsure of the cause, but looking at many eyewitness reports, these various incidents are caused by a 10 year old boy attempting to catch all Pokémon in existence, using any method he can. While we're not sure how he managed to pull off these stunts, the police intelligence network has suspicions that this 10 year old boy is only a mere puppet, controlled by a greater being that we can only imagine." We've been unable to reach this boy for comment, as he seems to have the ability to "warp" around places. Our investigation team has found a connection between this "warping" and the large amounts of items littered around various locations. We can only hope that these phenomenons can end soon.

4) Witnesses reported a strange, shady character approaching a Pewter City Resident from route 3. Immediately after a short conversation many witnesses saw the Pewter City resident as a ghostly form walking inside the cave walls of mt. moon. One bug catcher upon seeing this committed suicide. Police have started their investigation into the matter, but have no leads.

5) A Saffron City Guard was seriously injured yesterday when what appears to be an entire story of a building mysteriously fell to the ground along the city's southern border. Witnesses say the structure materialized approximately eight stories above the ground and described the appearance of the object and the surrounding area when the incident occured as "very glitchy". Investigation into the cause continues; investigators believe there may be a link between it and the recent uptick of trespassing in the Safari Zone and passing-off of counterfeit Celadon Game Corner coins, as well as the strange music some people have reported hearing sporadically in western Saffron over the past few months.

6) 50 people were killed today when a floor of the celadon mart suddenly collapsed under a pile of 4500 TMs, One eyewitness stated "I have no idea how this could happen. Some kid just bought a few X Attacks from my shop and seconds later thousands of TM's began appearing from his bag." sources also claim there was a maniac chanting "1... 2... 3..." at the scene just before the incident

7) Safferon police are investigating an incident regarding vandalism at the Safferon City Dojo. One Dojo employee claims that he has a possible lead on the suspect with this to say: "A strange silent kid entered the center a few times and battled me only with an abra. I felt bad for the kid so I tried to take it easy on him. After he lost a couple times he stopped showing up until just before the Dojo collapsed." No sign of the child has been reported

8)  Our Top Story Tonight! A new computer virus has been discovered. Police are attempting to disclose the location of the virus's origin and rumors have arised, stating that it all began in Vermilion's Pokemon Center. Vermilion Center Employee, Nurse Joy, claims that a small child entered the center to use the PC. Immediately, hundreds of items started to spill out of the computer. "I swear I could see the Game Corner through the door as the child left the center", Nurse Joy claims.