DiscoDude: ---BEGIN SESSION---
DiscoDude: Session logging commenced
Ryusui: The scene: a stuffy, shabby little office in downtown Whereverville, where the three of you have been summoned by the executor of J. J. Googleheimer's estate!
Ryusui: Behind the desk sits a giraffe in a threadbare suit whose neck sticks straight up through the ceiling! Somehow, he is still reading the documents in his hand, in an ear-grating nasal voice!
Ryusui: Most of it so far has been mind-numbing legalese, full of terms in Latin, Greek, and what you're certain might be one of the forbidden languages of R'lyeh!
Ryusui: "Quid pro quo, pro bono, molon labe, wgah'magl fhtagn..."
Ryusui: Just like that! For the last, oh, thirty minutes! But he might be getting to the good part soon - who gets what and how much! Never mind why; apparently all three of you are named inheritors! Along with the blonde cat-lady insistently filing her nails without a care in the world - the notorious Heloise Sassypuss!
Ryusui: Perhaps you three would like to introduce yourselves in some fashion? Or make your mark on this scene in some other respect?
Ryusui: ( <@&547919574188687363>, it's your turn to interject! For the record, the current mood is "casual," so unless you want to do something that might dramatically alter the tone and tenor of the scene, you won't need to roll!)
Alitzia: Alitzia is fast asleep, resting on her chair like a champion, she can't stand all that legal mumbo jumbo, too many words without any wham to make them stand by their own! But then her dream bubble bursts and she returns to reality.
"Eh, Eh?? Did He finally get to important part, how long did it take?"
Reality Glitch: Ándras “Andy” Vvir Danséi sit with his legs crossed, hands in his lap, and perfect posture, patiently awaiting the important part if the will.
He gives out an “Oh goody!” once they finally move on to the bequeathal.
Brina: Brina sways her big skunk tail patiently, actually paying some amount of attention. She turns to Alitzia and shakes her head, "Nah, but show some respect you goof!"
Ryusui: "I don't see why the three of you are even here," Heloise says, her eyes not raised even once from her nails. "Of course, once I have inherited everything, I'll be sure to toss a few dollars to whoever sucks up to me the most nicely."
Ryusui: Presumptuous lady, ain't she?
Reality Glitch: “Now, now; I don’t think we’d be here if we were getting nothing.” Andy retorts.
Alitzia: "In your darkest dreams, you weird feline! I am gonna get my fair share and make Bombs with it, just imagine all zeh kind of materials I could buy with this coin..." Is she ogling about bombs? She is, She in fact is.
Reality Glitch: “My, my.” Andy whispers under his breath before announcing, “I’m just happy to be included!”
Brina: boops Alitzia's nose and giggles, "Is that all you think about? I will definitely be getting my own fair share too"
Alitzia: She giggles, "I am not this town's best demolitions expert for nothing! "
Ryusui: "...veni veni venias, ne me mori facias. Ahem." The giraffe makes to adjust his glasses, an utterly futile gesture. "That's the end of the legalese," he says, with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Now, for the actual terms of the inheritance, as laid out by J. J. Googleheimer himself."
Ryusui: Mr. Googleheimer's own voice cuts in to narrate:
Ryusui: "To you who have gathered here. As my own children and grandchildren are a bunch of jerks, I have decided to disinherit them all. Instead, the four of you have been chosen by lottery" - cut to visual of a hand drawing names out of a hat - "to participate in what I dare say may be the greatest quest of your hitherto insignificant lives. I have hidden the greatest treasure I have ever collected in my life somewhere inside my mansion, pouring all my remaining funds into obtaining it. Whoever finds it first...gets it. That is all."
Ryusui: "And that's the end of it. My work is done here. Now, if you'll excuse me." The giraffe gets up from his desk and exits the room. His neck cuts a trail through the ceiling as he walks. Bits of debris rain down on the four of you and make a mess of the desk.
Reality Glitch: Andy begins clapping; “How fun! We get to go on a scavenger hunt.” Right before he dodges some of the debris.
Ryusui: "Well, that settles it, then! Au revoir, chumps! I happen to be the world's greatest treasure hunter!" Heloise isn't technically lying, because she honestly believes herself to be the world's greatest everything. She makes for the door!
Ryusui: The race is on, <@&547919574188687363>!
Reality Glitch: ((Dicy mood?))
Brina: Brina looks to the others, "Well we certainly have a much better chance of finding it if we work together, don't we?"
Reality Glitch: “Quite.”
Reality Glitch: Andy stands up from almost falling out of his chair and turns to the others. “Ready to go?”
Ryusui: (Yeah, things are officially Dicey!)
Alitzia: "Hm, Sounds fairleey better zan having to deal with her alone, Make it a deal!"
Ryusui: In the end, Heloise might be right about one thing: she's the world's greatest jerk. Certainly jerk enough to unite the three of you against her. :3
Ryusui: Anyone going to actually try a move to stop her from being the first out the door? :3
Reality Glitch: ((I assumed she already was.))
Alitzia: Actually, Alitzia Will! The classic tail yank move to get the pole position!
Alitzia: ((Which I believe, Would be tough?))
Ryusui: Let's call it a Tough move, yeah! Roll 2d6+your Tough!
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6 for 6 [2d6 = 1, 5]
Ryusui: uh
Ryusui: why did you roll
Ryusui: in the meantime, <@!Alitzia>, you roll XD
Reality Glitch: ((I was just going with the mood. Sorry for not narrating first.))
Alitzia: !r 2d6+0 (because i have A tough of zero XD)
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6+0 for 6 [2d6 = 1, 5] (because i have A tough of zero XD)
Ryusui: yeahhhhh i'd like you to tell me what you're doing and wait for me to ask you for a roll XD
Alitzia: (this is a nice start, So what happens GM? XDD)
Reality Glitch: ((That’s a failure.))
Ryusui: <@!Alitzia>: There's good news and there's bad news! The good news is, your grip is strong! The bad news is, Heloise has quite a bit more mass going on (and I don't just mean in the chest, if you catch my drift! 😉 ) You hold your ground for just long enough to look like you might be holding her back before you're yanked off your feet and through the door, dangling from Heloise's tail as she bolts!
Alitzia: "Hah, GotchzaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" And thus her small body is launched in what could be interpreted as a poor attempt to ski on the ground.
Reality Glitch: Andy lets out “Ah!” before rushing the two of them in an attempt to catch up.
Reality Glitch: ((Roll?))
Reality Glitch: ((<@Ryusui>; do I roll for Andy to catch up with Heloise and Alitzia?))
Ryusui: First lemme set the scene!
Ryusui: I'm gonna assume the both of you head out the door to see where Heloise (and Alitzia) are headed, right?
Reality Glitch: ((Didn’t you already do that?))
Reality Glitch: ((Did you not read my post?))
Ryusui: The door leads right out onto the street! Conveniently, the law office is situated right next to the foot of a hill at the top of which the Googleheimer mansion sits like a fortress!
Ryusui: Indeed, the entire hill is fortified! From the massive wrought-iron gate at its base to any number of security systems and traps on the way up!
Ryusui: Heloise is charging straight for the gate with Alitzia in tow!
Reality Glitch: ((Ah; still, I made my post declaring what Andy is attempting.))
Reality Glitch: ((I assume Tough or Cool.))
Ryusui: So yes, <@!Brina>, <@Reality Glitch>, it will be a Tough roll to simply catch up with Heloise outright! Though you may have other means of stopping her or slowing her down!
Ryusui: (oh, also, <@!Alitzia>: handing you the first Laugh of the game for your ground-skiiing XD)
Brina: yeah probably would be obligated to try to catch up at the very least to keep the characters together
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6 for 6 [2d6 = 3, 3]
Brina: roll too then?
Ryusui: +Tough, yes! Again, though, bear in mind that simply running after her isn't your only option!
Ryusui: <@!Alitzia>, you may also attempt to ameliorate your situation somehow! XD
Brina: I attempt to chase after the others and shout "Hold up, shouldn't we regroup?"
Brina: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Brina> rolled 2d6 for 10 [2d6 = 4, 6]
Ryusui: <@Reality Glitch>, you fail to gain enough traction on the asphalt to pursue the level of pursuit you aim for and you trip and fall on your cute little face! <@!Brina>, on the other hand, sprints down the road like it's a branch or maybe a high-voltage cable, and soon she's neck-and-neck with Heloise as she approaches the gate! (Take +2 forward - that is, add +2 to your next roll!)
Ryusui: (...i just now noticed that's only if you start a fight but hell let's roll right it)
Reality Glitch: ((Andy’s legs aren’t stumpy.))
Ryusui: (whoop)
Ryusui: (would "tiny little legs" work better?)
Reality Glitch: ((No; he’s the tall(ish) and slim type.))
Ryusui: (edited!)
Ryusui: <@!Alitzia>, quick update: <@!Brina> has managed to catch up with Heloise! Heloise is still running straight for that wrought-iron gate, clearly with a plan in mind, and whatever it is, you're likely to be coming along for the ride unless you do something, <@!Alitzia>!
Ryusui: Or <@!Brina>! Either's good! XD
Reality Glitch: ((It was probably my Poor (-1) drawing that mislead you.))
Alitzia: Alitzia still struggling to do proper skiing on the ground, resorts to her tail-pockets for a handy something, in turn she tries to find one of her sticky bombs to put an end to this mad race directly by the legs!
Alitzia: ((Rolling Zany!))
Brina: ( I'm caught up to the point where I could potentially reach Heloise with something? )
Ryusui: (oh yes. but again this is cartoonland. If you can justify it, just about anything goes. :3)
Ryusui: (and gimme a roll, <@!Alitzia>!)
Ryusui: (2d6+Zany!)
Alitzia: (Roll incoming!)
Reality Glitch: They did say “neck and neck”.))
Alitzia: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6+2 for 13 [2d6 = 6, 5]
Alitzia: ( OH )
Brina: I'd attempt to do a sweeping motion with the large bushy tail to trip her; guessing that's a "tough" roll? so no modifier past just the +2 from earlier?
Reality Glitch: ((“Oh” indeed; that’s success plus!))
Ryusui: (okay first off lemme respond to <@!Alitzia>!)
Alitzia: ( That's Too much! )
Ryusui: Ooh, shiny! The little thing you drop at Heloise's feet has a lovely little radioactive symbol decal on it.
Ryusui: Before anything else happens, <@!Brina>:
Ryusui: I'm gonna ask you to roll 2d6+Sharp.
Ryusui: (and yeah I'll let you add on that +2)
Brina: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Brina> rolled 2d6+2 for 4 [2d6 = 1, 1]
Alitzia: ( o.O )
Ryusui: <@Reality Glitch>, you're far back enough to be able to appreciate what happens next:
Ryusui: A tiny nuclear explosion goes off.
Ryusui: By "tiny" I mean of course "not big enough to level a city"
Ryusui: But it's big enough to be visible from all the way down the street, and when the mushroom cloud dissipates, the wrought-iron gate at the foot of the hill is completely demolished.
Ryusui: Being cartoon characters, of course, <@!Brina>, <@!Alitzia>, and Heloise are simply sent skyward, somewhat singed!
Ryusui: Gravity is quick to take effect, however! Anyone have anything they want to do before they take their lumps? :3
Reality Glitch: Andy uses the opportunity to rush past them all and through the gate.
Alitzia: "OH NO, THIS ZE WRONG BOOOOOOMB" On one side, she is very thankful her whole reserve didn't go off, on the other side, You can't just get radioactive aftermath out of your clothes like that!
Ryusui: Well heck, I can't argue that, <@Reality Glitch>!
Ryusui: "Hmph. Fortunately, I always come prepared," Heloise sniffs smugly, pulling out a cartoon parasol, the kind which doubles as a parachute. The kind which also tends to fold the wrong way with a crunch, leaving the holder plummeting to the ground.
Ryusui: "EEEEEEEEEEE-"
Brina: I'd probably look at the ground and see if there's anything conveniently soft to land on? If controlling movement in the air is feasible video game style at all
Ryusui: That'll be 2d6+sharp!
Brina: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Brina> rolled 2d6 for 9 [2d6 = 6, 3]
Ryusui: Just good enough! You land safely in a soft pile of out-of-season freshly-raked leaves.
Ryusui: <@!Alitzia>, do you have anything you wanna do before you hit bottom?
Ryusui: Or do you plan on taking your lumps? XD
Alitzia: Sadly, Alitzia is not like her Cousin, Ohio, who is a flying squirrel, so yes she is indeed plummeting to the ground and taking some lumps while screaming her lungs out.
Ryusui: You end up impacting headfirst on what used to be one of the gateposts. Your tail ends up making an impromptu flag. (Mark off 1 lump!)
Ryusui: Heloise, of course, gets it worst out of all of you: she's stuck headfirst up to her waist in the ground, high-heeled feet kicking in futility at the air. She'll be out of your hair till at least the next part of this gauntlet! XD
Ryusui: Righto, so! <@&547919574188687363>, after you recompose yourselves, you're at the next part of the gauntlet leading to the Googleheimer mansion!
Ryusui: At first it looks like a twelve-foot tall topiary sculpted in the shape of an impenetrable prison wall, complete with barbed wire at the top!
Ryusui: But as our camera pans out, the truth becomes evident: it's a massive - and thorny - garden maze, no doubt replete with traps of its own!
Ryusui: Heloise still has her head stuck in the blast crater, so she won't be bothering you three for this leg of the voyage!
Ryusui: How will you proceed? (Also, <@Reality Glitch>, I'm throwing you +2 forward here for taking advantage of the opportunity left by the others getting blown to smithereens XD)
Reality Glitch: Andy climbs the wall and attempts walking along the top of the maze.
Reality Glitch: ((Which move do I roll?))
Ryusui: (Let's call this +Tough! Man, you keep choosing actions that don't really suit you, huh? XD)
Reality Glitch: ((What is Andy supposed to do? Charm the bushes?))
Brina: ( definitely charm every bush there is )
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6+2 for 6 [2d6 = 3, 1]
Ryusui: You do pretty good at first! You climb the wall with little effort, and you're running across the top of the maze easily!
Ryusui: There's just one thing you forgot!
Ryusui: Barbed wire hurts like heck!
Ryusui: You realize this about halfway across and hop, skip, and jump in pain the rest of the way! (Take a lump!)
Ryusui: <@!Brina>, <@!Alitzia>?
Alitzia: Alitzia is back on two feet, no more skiing, and just FAINTLY glowing green, but it doesn't really suit her anyways.
Looking at Andy, she comments: "Well, Someone didn't figure out barbed wire exists! How about we Blow it up instead?!" She asks Brina, with a wink wink, even.
Ryusui: So what's the scope of the destruction you plan to unleash here?
Alitzia: WAY LESS THAN LAST TIME, FOR STARTERS.
Alitzia: Morel like, 'make a hole in the wall' kind of firepower.
Ryusui: Right, so not exploding the entire thing. XD
Reality Glitch: ((Not literal barbed wire; that’s just the thorns of the bushes.))
Ryusui: Let's call this a +Cool roll then, to carefully and methodically blow a hole straight through this thing!
Ryusui: ((it's bush thorns done up to look like barbed wire 😉 ))
Ryusui: ((close enough to the real thing to count!))
Alitzia: ((OH BOY))
Alitzia: !r 2d6-2
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6-2 for 5 [2d6 = 3, 4]
Brina: I stand back so there's room to avoid any explosions going wrong, remembering last time
Ryusui: Good call, Brina.
Alitzia: (Wise words.)
Ryusui: So, <@!Alitzia>! Your carefully selected cartoon shape charge works like a charm, blasting a perfect circular hole through!
Ryusui: The problem is, it blasts both forward and backwards!
Ryusui: When the pyrotechnics are finished, you look like a blackened silhouette with two little white eyes sticking out. (Take another lump! XD)
Ryusui: <@!Brina> I really shoulda made you roll for that judgment call but to heck with it: it missed you by barely that much.
Brina: 🎢
Alitzia: "...Today is not my day." she grunts, coughing some dust and other explosive-aftermath materials.
Brina: Brina giggles at that, "I have to admire you continuing to solve everything with explosions though. And hey, you got it open!"
Ryusui: So, <@!Brina>! Alitzia is charcoal and Andy is still in the lead! Anything you wanna try to change up the status quo before we move on to our next obstacle?
Brina: I check to see if there are any gardening tools left around from maintaining the garden that might be better at cutting through this sort of thing more safely
Ryusui: Roll +Sharp!
Reality Glitch: ((I’m looking at the basic moves and it looks like Tough is more of a social move, and Cool would be for athletics and acrobatics.))
Brina: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Brina> rolled 2d6 for 7 [2d6 = 5, 2]
Reality Glitch: ((Or Zany if it’s a particularly crazy stunt.))
Ryusui: <@!Brina>: the next thing Andy knows as he's still hopping around in pain is that you're coming out of the thorn maze with chainsaw in hand, carving a perfectly you-shaped hole as you go. No better gardening tool for the job!
Ryusui: Anyways, the mansion is within sight now! The three of you proceed until you reach a pair of enormous decorative stone statues resembling giant pandas sitting in lotus pose, palms held up Buddha-style.
Ryusui: Their eyes light up as you approach!
Ryusui: "HALT!" they utter in unison, their voices causing your ears to vibrate. "ONLY THOSE WHO PROVE THEMSELVES WORTHY MAY PASS!"
Ryusui: "And there's no one more worthy than me," a slightly dusty Heloise insists, pushing past all three of you.
Ryusui: You can practically see the statues' eyes narrowing at her approach.
Ryusui: "FIRST QUESTION!" the left statue announces. "WHAT IS THE SQUARE ROOT OF PI?" the right statue follows.
Ryusui: Heloise looks at the two petulantly and declares, "how the heck am I supposed to know that?"
Reality Glitch: Andy is wiggling his feet every time he lifts them to take a step, so as to shake out the thorns.
Ryusui: Without any further preamble, the statues fire energy blasts from their eyes. The next thing you know, Heloise's head is a smoking plume atop her shoulders. (She'll be just fiiiiine...)
Reality Glitch: “Calculus class; obviously” Andy remarks.
Reality Glitch: “Yikes!” Andy is taken aback by the sudden dire consequences.
Alitzia: Alitzia makes sure she hasn't gone deaf, explosions cause that but god those voices are LOUD. "Ugh, Maths? Really?"
Ryusui: "THE QUESTIONS..." "...ARE WHATEVER WE DEEM APPROPRIATE TO THE ASK-EE," the statues declare.
Reality Glitch: ((Are we supposed to roll for the answer, or is an out-of-character derived answer (i.e. I just used a calculator) fine?))
Brina: ( I was thinking you'd probably use insane troll logic to give an answer )
Reality Glitch: ((That doesn’t work for standard math questions.))
Ryusui: (That, or again, you've got a demolitions expert, a charmer, and a fourth wall-breaker! Get in the spirit of things! Just because I put an obvious challenge in front of you doesn't mean you have to tackle it in the obvious way! XD)
Reality Glitch: ((Then Andy will use Appeal!))
Ryusui: (remember, roll +laughs)
Ryusui: (you don't have any yet so you're rolling 2d6 straight!)
Reality Glitch: ((Fine, then! Rolling +Cool for the obvious answer.))
Ryusui: (i never said not to try Appeal! XD)
Reality Glitch: ((I know.))
Reality Glitch: Andy, now with all the thorns out of his bloody feet, walks up to the statues the statues and answers “Approximately 1.772. 3 sig-figs is fine, right?”
((Failure would obviously be “No; you must have at least six decimal places.”))
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6+1
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6+1 for 9 [2d6 = 4, 4]
Ryusui: (the statues just said the question was tailored for whoever was being asked 😛 )
Ryusui: (i'll accept the roll but dang yo)
Ryusui: (wait for the statues to ask you your question ^_^; )
Brina: Brina sways her tail and looks over cautiously as she waits
Reality Glitch: ((That wasn’t how I interpreted their declaration; sorry.))
Ryusui: As you approach the statues, they rumble your question: "WHAT IS THE WEIGHT OF A HUMAN SOUL?" The right one adds: "IN METRIC GRAMS, TO THE NEAREST MILLIGRAM!"
Ryusui: (answer however you like XD)
Reality Glitch: ((The correct answer is obviously “What’s a human?”))
Ryusui: (roleplay your smartass answer XD)
Reality Glitch: ((OH! I thought that was for Brina.))
Ryusui: (no that was for you, duh, i told you you were getting your own question)
Ryusui: (read what i'm saying ^_^; )
Alitzia: "Wha-, How is someone even supposed to know that?" She just looks confused as she looks at the statues.
Reality Glitch: ((I did, but other people were talking, and my brain subconsciously assumes everything is in response to what immediately precedes it.))
Reality Glitch: Andy just looks bit puzzled and asks, “What’s a human?”
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6 for 10 [2d6 = 6, 4]
Reality Glitch: ((Zany))
Ryusui: (...well hell i was gonna take your first roll but let's keep this going)
Ryusui: The two statues blink at each other. "That's a good question," their voices going to something resembling normal tenor. "Who wrote this one anyway?" "Yeah, and who could reasonably be expected to answer it? I mean, come on, how would you even put one of those things on a scale anyway?"
Ryusui: The statues seem confused by their own question, all of a sudden. Everyone who dares to pass the statues may attempt to do so!
Reality Glitch: ((Thus establishing that there are no humans in this world. (Or at least this part of it.)))
Ryusui: (You get a free pass, <@Reality Glitch>! The other two will have to roll to get by, however they choose!)
Reality Glitch: Andy, taking a second to realize what they just did (being as genuinely confused as the statues), makes a break for the door beyond.
Ryusui: (There's no door beyond them; it's just open air between you and the mansion at this point. Still free to go! XD)
Ryusui: ( <@!Alitzia>, <@!Brina>, how do you respond to this situation?)
Alitzia: "OH, REALLY?! Don't you DARE leave us behin-" And then she steps inside the statues range of vaporization. "...Uh."
Ryusui: They're still confused but you'll need to act to get through before they notice you! Gimme a move!
Ryusui: Same for you, <@!Brina>!
Brina: ( I'm thinking :p )
Alitzia: "UH, Brina, Move, quick Quick QUICK!!!" She runs for it, sticking her tongue out at the statues as she runs away from whatever dumb questions they wanted her to answer.
Ryusui: (what the hey i'm not even gonna make you roll for this, <@!Alitzia> XD)
Ryusui: ( <@!Brina>, on the other hand...depends on what she chooses :3c )
Brina: I stand where I am and continue to wait patiently for my turn, giggling, "What, and give up my chance to have a go? I can't let you hog all the fun"
Ryusui: After a moment, the two statues pause their confused bantering and squint at you in equal confusion. "HEY. WEREN'T THERE..." "...MORE OF YOU, A MOMENT AGO?"
Ryusui: They don't notice Andy and Alitzia safely past them!
Alitzia: She stops dead in her tracks for a moment and dives for the nearest hiding place, she is NOT gonna become another lump of coal like the cat-lady, but she isn't leaving people behind either.
Brina: I try to quickly get my word in and respond before an actual question is asked, "Yes, there were more of us a moment ago! What an easy question to ask of me"
Ryusui: The two statues blink in confusion one last time, then finally say: "Forget it." "Yeah, I'm sick of this job." "Later, folks." "Peace." And they shuffle off awkwardly off-camera.
Ryusui: (Brina, you totally get a Laugh for that.)
Reality Glitch: ((What about me? Was the meta-level “answer with another question” bit not worth a laugh?))
Alitzia: She pops out of the bush, with a 'what?' expression looking a Brina.
"...Let's find that cat before any more trouble arises."
Reality Glitch: “I’m right here.” Andy speaks up, having not traveled much farther.
Brina: Brina follows with the others, quite pleased with herself, "Yes, let's"
Ryusui: (yeah, take that laugh, RG)
Ryusui: (and don't forget Heloise got blasted by the statues; she's gonna be stuck here for a bit XD)
Ryusui: And you've made it. The mansion is huge. Easily the size of a shopping mall, and much better kept-up. There's a wrought-iron knocker of a lion on the front door. Could getting inside really be that easy?
Alitzia: Alitzia looks ready to blow this door up too. "So, should I use high fragmentation or high explosive?"
Reality Glitch: Andy skips up to the door and, with a ****-eating grin, knocks “Shave and a hair cut:”, then waits for the “two bits.”
Ryusui: "TWO BITS!" the door knocker playfully roars in response.
Reality Glitch: Andy waits for a second before looking at the knocker with big frumpy frown and crossing his arms. “What? Was that not good enough to let us in?”
Alitzia: "...Can we blow it up already?"
Reality Glitch: ((Laugh? I’m thinking “Shave and a hair cut: two bits.” is worth a laugh.))
Brina: "Maybe there's another way in?"
Ryusui: (it's a pretty standard gag ^_^;)
Ryusui: "WELCOME TO THE GOOGLEHEIMER ESTATE," the door knocker continues. "WHAT BUSINESS DO YOU HAVE ON THIS PROPERTY TODAY?"
Reality Glitch: Andy perks up. “We’re here to collect the inheritance. :)”
Ryusui: "OH BOY! SO YOU'RE THE INHERITOR PEOPLE, HUH! THAT MEANS I GOT A JOB TO DO! LIKE...FIRST I GOTTA BLOCK YOUR WAY...THEN I GOTTA MAKE YOU RUN THROUGH A MAZE...AND THEN I GOTTA ASK YOU RIDDLES! DOESN'T THAT ALL SOUND LIKE FUN?"
Ryusui: His enthusiasm is evident, but...it's pretty clear either he's somehow confused, or Mr. Googleheimer had one sick sense of humor, but the door knocker seems to be proposing you'll have to go through all the same trials you've already been through to get through him. Unless you folks have other ideas? :3
Reality Glitch: “You....” Andy’s ears droop a little, “....already did.”
Brina: "That maze is gonna need some repair before it gets another use, anyway"
Ryusui: The door knocker seems to share your disappointment. "REALLY NOW? YOU'RE SURE?" He brightens up a bit: "I BET YOU'RE JUST PULLING MY LEG, AREN'T YOU? NO FAIR CHEATING!"
Reality Glitch: Andy’s legitimately concerned for the knocker and it shows on his face.
Alitzia: "...So, what's your opinion on explosions, Doorknob?"
Reality Glitch: “Yeah; just look.” Andy turns an gestures at the path of destruction leading up to the door.
Ryusui: "H-HOLY COW!" It whimpers: "please don't hurt me"
Reality Glitch: Upon hearing the squirrel’s inquiry, Andy turns to her with scold in his voice, “Seriously?! Not cool.”
Alitzia: "Tsk, Open sesame already!" She rolls her eyes at Andy "You forget we are in a RACE, AGAINST A REALLY ANNOYING CAT."
Brina: "We've got plenty of time I'm sure"
Reality Glitch: “Now, now. I’m sure our friend here is more than willing to let us in” he turns back to the knocker, “now that they’ve done an excellent job with the obstacle course.”
Reality Glitch: ((What’s the mood?))
Ryusui: "s-sure, whatever you say." Without any further ado, the door swings open.
Ryusui: (We were in Casual mode; sorry I forgot to note)
Reality Glitch: ((Causal; apparently.))
Brina: Brina thumbs up as the doors open
Reality Glitch: “See?” Andy says, giving a gleeful look to the others before heading in.
Alitzia: "Let's not spare a second, I can't wait to get my hands on that Brouzouf!" She means money, she is just using slangs.
Ryusui: Finally, welcome to the Googleheimer Mansion. This place is...this place is...well, it's a mess. An opulent mess, to be sure, but you can't imagine anyone living here without going insane.
Ryusui: There are doors in the floor and ceiling. Stairways leading up (and down) to open air. Hallways stretching across empty space above your heads.
Ryusui: To call the architecture "avant-garde" would probably make Frank Lloyd Wright generate enough power to rival Hoover Dam just spinning in his grave.
Ryusui: And this is just the foyer, or what you can presume suffices for one. You can all tell this is just one small part of this place.
Brina: Brina shakes her head disapprovingly, "You'd think with that amount of wealth they could afford to hire someone to clean up the place"
Reality Glitch: k
Alitzia: "You mean me? because I'm finally here and wouldn't mind doing some remodeling!"
Reality Glitch: Mansion: *is weird*
Andy:
Reality Glitch: ((Not the exact face, but close enough.))
Ryusui: You know what? We're still in casual mode, so just go ahead and tell me how much destruction you wanna wreak, Alitzia.
Alitzia: Oh, you know, Break some of those ornamented stairs, put doors where they belong not in the ceiling, know some of the rubble in the form of a sensible staircase, generally make this less Constantine's mansion and more normal mansion.
Ryusui: all with explosives, amirite? 😉
Alitzia: What else?
Ryusui: <@!Brina>, <@Reality Glitch>, how do you respond to Alitzia's clever plan here? XD
Reality Glitch: "I'm sure there's a significantly less distructive solution."
Reality Glitch: "Don't want to damage our inheritance."
Brina: Brina eeps and looks at Alitzia with concern, "How about -after- we've got the treasure in our paws? So we, you know, don't accidentally blow it up?"
Brina: ( spoiler alert the treasure is a bomb too!!!! oh no )
Alitzia: "...Hmph, Alright I suppose, I was saving the real bombs for now, you know?"
Reality Glitch: (("She's a Killer QueeeeEEEEn/Dynimoite with a lazer beam."))
Ryusui: So with Plan TNT on hold, what do you suggest, Brina and Andy?
Reality Glitch: Andy saunters on up to the nearest door and tries to yank it open.
Ryusui: It opens.
Ryusui: Beyond is an upside-down deserted island, sitting in a water-filled sky. A lone palm tree reaches towards an endless expanse of blue below. A whale flies by, giving you the stink-eye.
Reality Glitch: Andy sighs. Then sticks an arm out to check the gravity on the other side.
Ryusui: You can be pretty sure you would fall into the sky if you walked through.
Brina: Brina walks up to the door and tilts her head as she looks inside, "Huh"
Reality Glitch: Andy throws his hands up in a frustrated shrug and moves on to check the next door (without bothering to close the first one).
Ryusui: The Eye of Sauron is on the other side. He has bad cataracts.
Reality Glitch: ((How about we just cut to the chase and have the door openning montage already? :p))
Ryusui: (why not XD)
Ryusui: Another door opens to a massive pillar made entirely of hamsters sitting atop each other's shoulders. One of them urgently waves you to go away.
Ryusui: Yet another opens to a massive sea of vanilla pudding under a dull yellow sky. Fish made out of chocolate breach the surface in the distance, looking majestic and delicious.
Ryusui: Yet another reveals a view of a planet from deep space. Miraculously, you're not sucked out into the vacuum. Less than miraculously, a giant wolverine leaps out of the void and starts gnawing hungrily on it.
Ryusui: And finally you come to the one and only door with caution tape and chains, and a sign marked "FOR THE LOVE OF TEX AVERY, DO NOT OPEN!"
Reality Glitch: Andy almost steps into pudding room in a gluttonous daze before being restrained by the others.
((Assuming you to are O.K. with me narrating that for you.))
Ryusui: (that's fine XD)
Ryusui: (you're free to react to the montage; just make sure you do so before you decide what to do with the door)
Reality Glitch: ((You’re not the one I’m asking. <@!Brina>? <@!Alitzia>?))
Brina: "It's a wonder they didn't attempt to use this as a tourist attraction! I'd pay to walk around here" (I don't mind)
Reality Glitch: "Hmm; what now?" Andy ponders, standing right in front of the final door.
Alitzia: She couldn't pay any less attention at all this wonderful worlds the doors hide, she wants money, to make bombs, to blow $&%8 up, and she isn't getting any money from this. "Where are you even going?!" She finally explodes and grabs Andy from the arms,. "We are here for TREASURE, not CHOCOLATE FISH!" She then looks at the door with a sign. "Oh, I bet the treasure is behind that door!"
Ryusui: Right, so, how do you want to proceed? It's chained shut, and presumably locked as well.
Reality Glitch: Andy presses an ear to the door to hear inside.
Reality Glitch: ((Do I need to roll +sharp?))
Ryusui: (yeah let's do that)
Ryusui: (roll 'em!)
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6 for 10 [2d6 = 5, 5]
Ryusui: There's noises through the door. Lots and lots of little noises.
Reality Glitch: ((That lets me ask two questions.))
Ryusui: (...let's count that as your first answer, then. what's the second?)
Reality Glitch: ((What are the noises, exactly?))
Ryusui: Squeaky noises. Like lots and lots of little creatures pressed up against the door.
Alitzia: "Can I blow THIS open? Those are like, Metal and stuff!"
Brina: Brina takes the time to look behind the group and make sure they're actually alone-ish and there's not anyone catching up with them
Reality Glitch: Andy sighs again as he pushes of the door to stand back up. “Scribbles.” he says in exacerbation.
Ryusui: <@!Brina>, there's no sign of Heloise. Yet. Anyways, <@!Alitzia>, if you wanna try blowing the door open, gimme +cool!
Reality Glitch: ((He means that in the same sense as Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.))
Ryusui: (i figured)
Alitzia: "AGHHH, Consequences be dammed!" She does it, throws a grenade the door's way, while signaling Andy that maybe you don't wanna be there, buddy
Alitzia: !r 2d6-2
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6-2 for 4 [2d6 = 2, 4]
Reality Glitch: ((Feel that’s worth a laugh, or at least making it canon.))
Ryusui: (actually speaking of)
Ryusui: (don't forget that you can spend a Laugh to get +3 backwards)
Ryusui: (i.e. "add 3 to the roll you just made")
Alitzia: (....yeah, let's spend a laugh on that!)
Ryusui: The grenade explodes. The chains explode. The door explodes, but not because of the grenades.
Reality Glitch: ((That’s good news and bad news for a 7-9 with Cool.))
Ryusui: The door explodes outward under the pressure of thousands upon thousands of little green red-eyed creatures. Gremlins, we'll call 'em. They're all no bigger than your palm, and as far as you can tell they're not interested in devouring you alive or chewing on you till you're dead. They're just...pouring out in droves.
Ryusui: On the upside: there is, indeed, a large golden treasure chest in a wood-paneled room past the door! On the downside: you need to figure out a way through the onrushing wave of little green men!
Brina: Brina steps back and "Whoa!"s, "There's so many of them!"
Ryusui: They pay you no heed. They're just interested in filling all available space. In fact, the foyer - despite its already well-established immense size - is already carpeted with them.
Reality Glitch: Andy let's out a girlish screem just in time for a stream of the gremlins to shoot into his mouth before the rest pof the flood over take him.
Reality Glitch: ((I hope I'm giving the right mental image to you all here.))
Ryusui: (YES XD)
Alitzia: "I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I. KNEW. IT!!!" She starts swimming through them green means, she is GOING for that golden loot with all her heart!
Reality Glitch: ((That's laugh-worthy, right? You even put a laugh emoticon in the chat.))
Ryusui: (...yes. XD)
Ryusui: E'erybody, gimme a roll! Decide how you're gonna try and get past the rushing tide and swing for the bleachers!
Reality Glitch: ((I want to use Appeal to convince the gremlins to carry Andy to the to chest, but i0show, it would be something you don't see happen on camera, only the end result.))
Alitzia: HMMM, May I use my unique move?
Brina: I try and use that tail again, this time to sweep out a path and harmlessly knock anything in the way to the side so there's actually room to walk forward
Reality Glitch: ((i.e. It shows the other two franticly swimming through the tide and then Andy comes crowd surfing up from off-screen.))
Reality Glitch: ((<@Ryusui>?))
Ryusui: ((Yes, yes, and roll +cool, <@!Brina>))
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6+2 for 10 [2d6 = 6, 2]
Alitzia: (Teehehehehe)
Alitzia: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6+2 for 9 [2d6 = 3, 4]
Brina: !r 2d6
DiscoDude: <@Brina> rolled 2d6 for 4 [2d6 = 1, 3]
Reality Glitch: Alitzia and Brina are franticly swimming through the tide of gremlins when they pause in surprise at Andy crowd surfing past them from off-screen.
Reality Glitch: "Ladies."
Ryusui: (Yessssss XD)
Ryusui: (okay take that laugh)
Ryusui: (remember you can't have more than 3)
Alitzia: (wait wait, Im using my Unqiue Move!)
Reality Glitch: He's even in the whole "Magazine-cover/Greek lounging position".
Ryusui: (i know, i know, what do you do though)
Alitzia: well, its not 10+, but i still want to do this so.... Why don't we cut to our dearie feline opponent for a moment?
Ryusui: She's clinging to the ceiling, high overhead, looking at the mayhem you've caused in barely restrained fury.
Alitzia: Heh, For added insult to the wound, can we agree even she hears Alitzia yelling "I KNEW IT, I KNEEEEWWW ITTTTT" so she knows who was the reason for this mess?
Reality Glitch: ((So Heloise has a grudge against Alitzia now? Plus a complication.))
Alitzia: ((Yup!))
Ryusui: The tide of gremlins starts carrying you away from the door, Alitzia.
Ryusui: As for you, Brina, well. You're in the same boat as her.
Ryusui: Speaking of boats!
Ryusui: Andy sails right through the door on gremlinback!
Ryusui: And Heloise - with perfect feline poise - leaps down in front of the door, facing you two angrily!
Ryusui: "I've had enough of your...your...shenanigans! The inheritance is mine, do you hear me? MINE!"
Brina: "I'm sure you definitely deserve it when you've done none of the work for it"
Alitzia: "Yeah, Fat Chance you will get before us!"
Ryusui: <@Reality Glitch>, are you gonna help 'em out? 'Cause Heloise is taking the first swing, pouncing at <@!Alitzia>! (This'll be a challenge, Alitzia - choose how you're gonna respond and I'll tell you what to roll!)
Reality Glitch: ((I'm pretty sure it's a grudge at this point.))
Ryusui: (it is~)
Ryusui: (but my point is that i'm starting things off with Heloise taking the first swing)
Ryusui: (i mean...i realize Alitzia can respond with her grudge move!)
Alitzia: Alitzia will dodge out of the way, She isn't gonna become cat food today!
Alitzia: (OH WAIT)
Alitzia: (lets do THAT INSTEAD)
Alitzia: Grudge Move: Frantic! I have only 1 laugh, so its +1!
Alitzia: Alitzia Gets a BIG stack of dynamite ready, she even holds the igniter out for Heloise!
Alitzia: !r 2d6+1
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6+1 for 7 [2d6 = 1, 5]
Ryusui: Heloise gets blown backwards by your dynamite; she's singed but otherwise unharmed, albeit slightly more at the mercy of the gremlin flow now! (Brina, and yes, Andy if you choose to participate, you get +1 forward!)
Ryusui: ( <@!Brina>? <@Reality Glitch>?)
Reality Glitch: ((Appease! Oviously. Just give me a moment to think of a good roleplay for it.))
Brina: ( do you just roleplay the result of it actually working that's described in the grudge move thing and then roll to see if it worked out? )
Ryusui: (describe what you're gonna do, then roll!)
Ryusui: (don't describe it actually working yet; just the leadup)
Reality Glitch: Andy calls out from within arm's reach of the chest, "There's only a few way for this to end; either you give up and we split the inheritance four ways, or I get away with the treasure while you're scuffling and it gets split three ways, leaving you out of the picture."
Ryusui: (like...describe the windup, but not knocking it out of the park yet XD)
Brina: ( gotcha )
Ryusui: (roll 'em, <@Reality Glitch>!)
Reality Glitch: !r 2d6+1 (lumps)
DiscoDude: <@Reality Glitch> rolled 2d6+1 for 6 [2d6 = 3, 2] (lumps)
Reality Glitch: ((Spending a laugh.))
Ryusui: (that's an Appease, right?)
Reality Glitch: ((Yes. With a 7-9 that's +1 forward to use Appeal.))
Ryusui: "Or I put all three of you upstarts in your respective places and claim the inheritance for myself!" she hisses.
Reality Glitch: ((Which actually cancels out due to the spending of a laugh, but "Oh well."))
Ryusui: ( <@!Brina>! )
Brina: ( I'm typing, goof, I know we're rushing :p )
Brina: Brina uses Meta and grabs an anvil out of thin air, to try to launch over at Heloise with her tail as a catapult of sorts, "I'll split it with the rest of my party, but not with a jerk!" (and it says I roll +zany so that's +2)
Ryusui: ("Let 'em have it, Jackson!"</marshie>)
Brina: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Brina> rolled 2d6+2 for 5 [2d6 = 1, 2]
Alitzia: "YEAH, YOU TELL EM, GIRL!" Alit is cheering from the sides, she is being swept by the gremlins by now!
Brina: ( probably would make sense to use up a laugh if we're that close to the end if you can +3 like that? )
Brina: ( or that wouldn't get results anyway )
Ryusui: (well it'd mean you'd avoid taking damage!)
Brina: ( yeah that's probably a good idea :p )
Alitzia: (remember trying not to overshoot it? maybe XDDD???)
Ryusui: Your anvil strategy almost works, but Heloise uses the gremlin flow to her advantage! "Pfft! Do you think my face would be this beautiful if I let every anvil thrown my way hit me?"
Ryusui: ( <@!Alitzia>, you wanna take a swing at finishing her off? )
Ryusui: (You'll need a 10 or better! :3)
Alitzia: She pulls one last of her precious bombs and hurls it at the cat's face, She is DOING it.
"OH, Let's see what your face says about one of THIS!"
Alitzia: !r 2d6+2
DiscoDude: <@Alitzia> rolled 2d6+2 for 14 [2d6 = 6, 6]
Alitzia: HAH
Reality Glitch: ((I haven't gotten that far in the rulebook; does she only need one/two lumps to go down?))
Ryusui: (for the sake of keeping things going: a single hit will finish her)
Ryusui: And her head goes up like a roman candle!
Ryusui: "My face!" she shrieks indignantly. "MY HAAAAAIR! EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Ryusui: She stumbles backwards into the gremlin flow, and they carry her off wherever the heck they think they're going.
Ryusui: Speaking of the flow: it's now kinda pushing you all towards the door, now that it's hit the walls and bouncing back.
Ryusui: So you won't have any trouble getting to the chest now!
Reality Glitch: Now that the scuffle is taken care of Andy returns to popping open the chest.
((Casual mood, I assume.))
Alitzia: "PFFT, KHAHAHAHAHAHA" She is laughing like mad, not only a bullseye, but setting her hair ablaze! She yells one last thing to Heloise: "That is a Freebie, Girl!!"
Ryusui: You're all gathered around the chest as Andy prepares to open it!
Ryusui: Are you all ready? <@&547919574188687363>? :3
Brina: 🤑
Alitzia: Money money money
Ryusui: The golden glow from inside the chest is almost blinding as Andy lifts the lid...
Ryusui: It's full of gold coins!
Ryusui: No, wait...
Ryusui: It's full of solid gold...POGS?!?
Reality Glitch: "Sweet! Now I can finally compete against my brother."
Ryusui: (If it wasn't too late for them to have any meaning I would hand you a laugh unprompted.)
Alitzia: "...W-what's this? P-pogs?!"
Ryusui: Pogs. And every single one of them is marked "NOT REDEEMABLE FOR CASH."
Reality Glitch: ((Meaning that the reference is too outdated to work? I honestly think that makes it funnier.))
Ryusui: (no, i mean, laughs reset at the start of each session)
Ryusui: (so since this is literally done there's no point in awarding them)
Reality Glitch: ((This outdated fad is super important to their sibling rivalry.))
Reality Glitch: ((Right.))
Reality Glitch: ((1 laugh at start of next session?))
Alitzia: "B-But...T-the prize?! Money?! Brouzouf?!?!?!" She is confused looking at both Andy and Brina, as if they had the answer.
Brina: Brina doesn't seem displeased with the result and she sways her tail behind her, "It's still gold! I'm happy with that!"
Ryusui: (So, last lines, folks?)
Reality Glitch: Andy closes the chest and turns to the others; "Whether or not the old sourpuss would want this knowing what it is, I think it's time we head home with our spoils. Mind helping me lift this?"
Alitzia: "No way, How am i suppose to make bombs with-" But then, she has a realization "...wait a second...with their shape,I can fit them into bombs... EUREKA!" She grabs a bunch of them with a mad smile, she got an idea.
Ryusui: (<@!Brina>?)
Brina: Brina grabs a few pogs and tosses them into the air playfully, giggling, "I'll be using some of them for decorations! They're quite pretty"
Ryusui: (and with that, let us...)
Ryusui: !end
