Hogfather - Bogeyman intimidation

She went into the children's bedroom and leaned over as if to tuck Twyla up. Then her hand darted down and under the bed. She grabbed a handful of hair. She pulled.

The bogeyman came out like a cork but before it could get its balance it found itself spread-eagled against the wall with one arm behind its back. But it did manage to turn its head, to see Susan's face glaring at it from a few inches away.

Gawain bounced up and down on his bed.

'Do the Voice on it! Do the Voice on it!' he shouted.

'Don't do the Voice, don't do the Voice!' pleaded the bogeyman urgently.

'Hit it on the head with the poker!'

'Not the poker! Not the poker!'

'It's you, isn't it,' said Susan. 'From this afternoon . . .'

'Aren't you going to poke it with the poker?' said Gawain.

'Not the poker!' whined the bogeyman.

'New in town?' whispered Susan.

'Yes!' The bogeyman's forehead wrinkled with puzzlement. 'Here, how come you can see me?'

'Then this is a friendly warning, understand? Because it's Hogswatch.'

The bogeyman tried to move. 'You call this friendly?'

'Ah, you want to try for unfriendly?' said Susan, adjusting her grip.

'No, no, no, I like friendly!'

'This house is out of bounds, right?’

'You a witch or something?' moaned the bogeyman.

'I'm just... something. Now... you won't be around here again, will you? Otherwise it'll be the blanket next time.'

'No!'

'I mean it. We'll put your head under the blanket.'

'No!'

'It's got fluffy bunnies on it. '

'No!'

'Off you go, then.'

The bogeyman half fell, half ran towards the door.

''s not right,' it mumbled. 'You're not s'posed to see us if you ain't dead or magic. 's not fair. . .'

'Try number nineteen,' said Susan, relenting a little. 'The governess there doesn't believe in bogeymen.'

'Right?' said the monster hopefully.

'She believes in algebra, though.'

'Ah. Nice.' The bogeyman grinned hugely. It was amazing the sort of mischief that could be caused in a house where no one in authority thought you existed.

'I'll be off, then,' it said. 'Er. Happy Hogswatch.'

'Possibly,' said Susan, as it slunk away.

***

Hogfather - p74-75