the look in his gray eyes penetrated her, impaling her with its power, making her
breathing quicken. haunting sounds of the boldas carried in from the distance,
mingling with the sound of the fire, of his breathing. she had never felt this safe, this
relaxed, and this tense, all at the same time. it was confusing.

her gaze wandered from his eyes, feasting on other places on his face: the shape
of his nose, the angle of his cheeks, the line of his chin. her eyes stopped on his lips.
suddenly she was aware of how hot it was in the spirit house. she felt lightheaded.

probing his gaze again, she withdrew the apple from her pocket and took a slow,
juicy bite, dragging her teeth across the meat. the iron look in his eyes never wavered.
fluidly, impulsively, she put the apple to his mouth and held it there as he took a big,
wet bite. if only it were possible for him to put his lips on her like that, she thought.

and why not? was she to die in this quest without being allowed to be a woman?
must she be only a warrior? fight for everyone’s happiness but her own? seekers, in
the best of times, died all too quickly, and these were not the best of times.

these were the end of times.

she ached at the thought of him dying.

she pushed the apple harder against his teeth as she watched his eyes. even if she
took him, she reasoned, he could still fight on, at her side, maybe with even more
resolve than he had now.

it would be for different reasons, but he would be just as deadly, maybe more so.


he would be different, though, not the same person he was now. that person would be
gone forever.

but at least he would be hers. she wanted him so desperately, in a way she had
never wanted anything before, a way that was painful. were they both to die without
being allowed to live? she felt a tingling weakness with the need of him.

teasingly, she took the apple from his mouth. juice ran down his chin. slowly,
deliberately, she leaned over and licked the sweet juice from his chin. he didn’t move.
their faces were inches apart– she shared his breath, quick and warm. so close was she
that her eyes could scarcely focus on his. she had to swallow the wetness in her
mouth.

reason was rapidly evaporating from her mind, being replaced with feelings that
tantalized her with promise, gripped her with hot need.

she released the apple, brought her wet fingers to his lips, and watched, her own
tongue on her upper lip, as he let each finger slide into his mouth, slowly sucking the
juice from them one at a time as she offered them. the feeling of the inside of his
mouth, wet and warm, sent shivers through her.

a small sound escaped her lips. her heart pounded in her ears. her chest heaved.
she ran her wet fingers down his chin, his neck, to his chest, lightly gliding them over
the symbols painted on him, tracing them with her fingers, feeling the hills and valleys
of him.

coming to her knees above him, she circled a fingertip around the hardness of
one of his nipples, firmly caressed his chest as she let her eyes slide closed for a
moment while gritting her teeth. gently, but forcefully, she pushed him down on his
back. he went easily, without protest. she leaned over him with her hand still on his
chest for support. the feeling of him surprised her, the rigid hardness of his muscles,
sheathed with yielding, velvety soft skin, the wetness of his sweat, the coarseness of
his hairs, the heat. his chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing, with the life in
him.

leaving one knee next to his hip, she put the other between his legs as she looked
down into his eyes, her thick hair cascading down around his face as she continued to
support herself with the hand on his chest, not wanting to move it, to lose the
connection with his moist flesh. a connection that was igniting her with its heat.

between her knees, the muscles of his thigh flexed, sending her pulse racing even
faster. she had to open her mouth to get her breath. she lost herself in his eyes, eyes
that felt as if they were probing her soul, stripping it bare. they sent fire raging
through her.

with her other hand she smoothly unbuttoned her shirt and pulled out the tails.

she put her hand behind his strong neck, still holding herself up, away from him,
with the other on his chest. her fingers slid into his damp hair, tightened into a fist,
held his head to the ground.

a big, powerful hand slipped under her shirt, to the small of her back, stroking in


little circles, then slowly slid up the line of her spine, sending shivers through her,
before coming to a stop between her shoulder blades. her eyes half closed as she
flexed her back against his hand, wanting him to draw her against him. her breathing
was so fast, she was almost panting.

she drew her knee up his leg until it wouldn’t go any father. little sounds escaped
with some of her breaths. his chest heaved against her hand. as he lay under her, she
thought he had never seemed so big to her before.

“i want you,” she panted in a breathless whisper.
her head lowered. her lips brushed against his.

a look of pain seemed to cross his eyes. “only if you first tell me what you are.”

the words cut through her, bringing her eyes open wide. her head moved back a
little. but she was touching him–he could not stop her, she thought, she didn’t want
him to stop her. she barely had a grasp on the power as it was, and it was slipping
from her hold. she could feel it. she brought her lips back to his, another small sound
escaping with her breath.

the hand on her back moved up under her shirt, took a fistful of her hair, gently
pulling her head away.

“kahlan, i mean it. only if you tell me first.”

reason flooded back into her mind, washing coldly through her, drowning her
passion. she had never cared for anyone like this. how could she touch him with her
power? how could she do this to him? she pushed back. what was she doing? what
was she thinking?

she sat back on her heels, taking her hand from his chest, putting it over her
mouth. the world crashed in around her. how could she tell him’? he would hate
her–she would lose him. her head spun sickeningly.

richard sat up, put his hand gently on her shoulder. “kahlan,” he said softly,
drawing her panicked eyes to his, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. only
if you want to do this.”

her eyebrows wrinkled together as she tried to keep from crying. “please.” she
could hardly get the words out. “just hold me?”