(...)
[1/26/2013 3:57:47 AM] bangarang: Still shaking a little from the after-effects he swallowed, letting himself calm down. G-good. He hadn't expected himself to get so aggressive about it; actual peeks of his usual abrasive and asshole-ish self showing through in the heat of the moment. That was another thing, though. Gamzee treated him like his equal even though he was severely inferior. He should have been culled a long time ago. But he felt safe here, finally, in Gamzee's arms, held and comforted by him. Throwing caution to the wind again he kissed him; hands sliding from his cheeks back into his messy hair, resting their foreheads together as his stupid little tears kept up. "I can't... I can't let you leave again. Don't fucking go. Don't go. Please don't go." If being without his moirail hurt, being without his matesprit would kill him. He was tired of hurting. So fucking tired of being in pain. So tired of being alone.
[1/26/2013 4:32:36 AM] Milo: And Gamzee didn't hesitate to open himself up to the smaller troll, mouth pulling Karkat in as his arms wrapped tightly about his matesprit's torso. Claws pressed into the mutant's back with the ferocity of his returning kiss, grasping Karkat to him like he could press the sheer amount of redness he felt into his partner. When the Cancer pulled away, Gamzee found himself following until he actually realised they were separating. His expression fell, a frown now present. "you got to know a clown can't promise he won't get his wanderings going again, redbro. we got an agenda for the most wicked shit you'll ever see, and ain't none of this motherfucker gonna be able to keep saying no to what he's got clawing through his blood every pump his bloodpusher gives." As much as he wanted to stay, well... Not leaving, not doing their bidding, would hurt the subjuggulator more than Karkat would ever understand. They'd tear Gamzee apart with enough disobedience, undo him from the inside out. Neither of them were ready for the Capricorn to be shattered; for now, his loyalty remained with his Messiahs, no matter how much he didn't want it to.
[1/26/2013 4:58:37 AM] bangarang: Karkat's own eyes fell, looking like a punished child. Eyes brimmed with those red tears again and he nodded, unaware that he was shaking again. Well, he'd tried. He'd done a good job, though! He'd done a good job telling him, at least. Even if he was going to be hurt again. That was okay. He'd gotten further than he expected. "Okay," he finally whispered, defeated. "I understand." He didn't. He was at least used to being alone, by now. He just hoped he'd be able to endure it like he had been. Would a stronger bond make it harder? There was a long pause in his actions, thick tears finally too heavy to stay; his sigh and blink making them fall again. W-well he should... try and enjoy this time he had with him, right? With his new matesprit? He kissed him again, sad and sweet, trying to shut out the negativity. It'd be fine, Karkat. You're getting more than a mutant like you deserves, anyway. You should be happy with what you've got.
[1/26/2013 5:52:19 AM] Milo: Gamzee would have never put it that way, never in a million sweeps. He'd speak casually of Karkat's mutant blood, let him know it was okay, blood didn't matter anymore and it never would again. Perhaps the subjuggulator just couldn't understand why his now-matesprit seemed so.. upset. The Capricorn gave a confused look, eyebrows knitting together, until the other shut off any thought he may have had by kissing him again. "mmnh-" There was something right there at the tip of his tongue, but his tongue was too busy working its way into Karkat's mouth to get anything else out, claws back to digging into the candyblood. If he could just /show/ his matesprit /why/ he couldn't always stay, he would. But there was simply no explaining what was happening. He did want to stay.
[1/26/2013 6:05:54 AM] bangarang: Fingers slid further back into Gamzee's hair, fingertips pressing possessively. Karkat was tired of being alone. Alone with his self-depricating thoughts, alone with the memories of his failure at... everything. Quadrantmates were generally supposed to be around, weren't they? Not everything in those trashy troll romance books Kanaya read was true. Redmates didn't pine away at sea, waiting for their lover to return. Fantasy, all of it. Quiet whimper was heard fom him as the claws dug, Karkat's own fingers twitching. His mouth was needy and desperate, though - and if the level of depravity the Cancer showed in his kiss wasn't more like those goddamn romance books than anything else. He was scared. Karkat only had one quadrant filled by someone that had already promised he wasn't going to be around much. He didn't want to be culled. Or found out. Who would protect him? He suddenly envied Dave and Terezi immensely. As much as Karkat hated him Dave knew how to protect himself, and Terezi had her own formidableness to offer into that. Even Kanaya and Rose could kick ass. And then there was Karkat.
[1/26/2013 6:29:44 AM] Milo: Gamzee felt it before he could make sense of it - his Messiahs were knocking at his head, pulling at him to do their bidding, a get-back-to-work pounding in his skull. He flinched. Then again. Then he separated his kiss with Karkat, made a sad sound. "brother," He swallowed, running hands up and down the other's back, "i know we haven't had but half a night, but this clown's gotta get back to work. i'll catch you around soon as i up and motherfuckin' can, but.." Gamzee was trying to stand, trying to peel Karkat off of him. They were getting impatient; why was he still just dicking around with his 'best friend' instead of doing what he was meant to do? "karkat- man, i really gotta get my move on. i'm sorry." Ugh, if only Karkat knew just /how sorry/ he was for all of this.
[1/26/2013 6:43:40 AM] bangarang: "Wh-what?" No! Already? I-it'd been years-! Hands pulled back, elbows supporting him on Gamzee's chest, fingers gripping into his shirt. "Y-you can't - not this soon..." Hard lump was rising in his throat again, new tears tracing the already wet lines from before. "Please..." His voice cracked, his bloodpusher thudding in his ears as Gamzee was trying to rid himself of him. "J-just a little... b-bit longer..." It was no use; the lump burst into a weak sob, Karkat hiding his mouth in the crook of his elbow to try and cover it up. But after one there came another, and he couldn't stop them. "I d-don't know wh-what to do w-w-without you." He was so useless, so pointless and weak without someone to look after, someone to be close to. Was there something he could do to help? He'd do whatever it took to get him to stay close to him.
[1/26/2013 7:12:57 AM] Milo: The Capricorn grew more firm when he realised Karkat wasn't going to let him go. A couple more full-body winces were dealt with, then Gamzee was literally trying to /pry/ the other off. "brother, please, you don't know how red this motherfucker is for you, you gotta let me go." The little mutant had no idea what his matesprit was fighting with right now, screams growing so loud he couldn't hear himself think, couldn't hardly see straight. They were used to him responding after the first time. "you'll be fine, motherfucker, i'll be back before the next tomorrow gets to happening. i promise, but you gotta let me go."
[1/26/2013 7:37:20 AM] bangarang: If either of them listened, they could hear the exact moment that Karkat's bloodpusher broke in half. He was going to lose him. His matesprit - the only troll that really mattered to him. The troll that kept him together. If Karkat had been a good moirail shooshpapping him in the beginning, Gamzee did all the rest of the work keeping Karkat from self-loathing and uselessness. Having a highblood to look after was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He'd already lost him once, and look what it'd done to him. He finally relented, choking on the last of his sobs, falling still and hanging back as his matesprit retreated. "I'm s-sorry," he wailed miserably, covering his face with his hands, rubbing the tears angrily. They didn't stop. They just wouldn't stop. Deep in his pan, the last thread that held him all together was twisting; knotting. Getting weaker, and weaker, and weaker...
[1/27/2013 12:04:02 AM] Milo: He'd been retreating before he heard the other sob. Something in his mind clicked, and Gamzee came rushing back, grasping Karkat's shoulders and shaking him once, hard. "look, motherfucker, i'm sorry too, but don't you worry none. already told you i'd be back, turn off your fret and just know i ain't about to leave you all hangin' this time around." The clown leaned in, grabbing his matesprit's face with rough hands, holding him still so he could crush their lips together. Just like that, though, he was gone again, walking away. He held his head as he left, grimacing; if only he could make them shut /up/, he could probably think a little more clearly, wouldn't be running off like this when Karkat so desperately needed him to stay.
[1/27/2013 1:15:13 AM] bangarang: Oh... oh no. The final kiss is what did him in; Karkat's chin lowering to touch his chest as Gamzee left. He couldn't do this. Deep in Karkat's thinkpan, something snapped. That thin cord, holding his mind and sanity and resolution all together in a neat bundle - everything that had kept him in line, a respectable member of troll society, kept him from hurting himself and others. It just dissolved. A whimper left him as he looked up again, watching his moirail retreat. He couldn't leave him again. He couldn't... let him leave again. Wide, terrified eyes were still leaking tears as he took off after him, swift and silent.  He was gonna help. Gamzee obviously didn't want to leave, Karkat could fix this. He'd help. He'd do good. He'd help his moirail - his /matesprit/ - to stay. Within range he leapt at him, planting his hands on Gamzee's shoulders. He jumped up, kicking out the backs of both his knees with his feet, intending on slamming hims matesprit into the ground. He couldn't leave if he couldn't move, right? Good thinking, Karkat. He'd be so happy. As happy as Karkat was to be able to keep him here, to take care of him.
[1/27/2013 1:47:45 AM] Milo: Gamzee hadn't even heard Karkat, too wrapped up in the /shrieking/ to even think about hearing anything the fuck else. Upon feeling Karkat's hands on his shoulders, he flinched, began to turn-- And grunted as he was forced to the ground. For a long moment, he was stunned, unable to quite place exactly what the fuck had just happened. Did /Karkat/ just.. /attack/ him? A confused sound left him, arms scrabbling a moment before he started pushing himself up. "wuh--" Wow, his /knees/ were suddenly killing him.
[1/27/2013 1:59:03 AM] bangarang: "Shhshsh," he began, arm tightly around Gamzee's neck, pulling him back a little. "It's okay, I'm helping, I'm helping." He'd be so proud of Karkat, thinking of this grand idea to keep them together. He pulled his sickle out of the card it lived in, increasing the pressure of his grip he had around his matesprit's neck. Together. They'd be together. Karkat couldn't be alone again, and this was the perfect solution. Gamzee didn't want to leave, and Karkat was going to make it so he couldn't. He needed Gamzee, and Gamzee would need him. He'd make him realize it. They'd be together forever. "It's okay, G-Gamzee. We'll be okay. I promise."
[1/27/2013 2:10:36 AM] Milo: With the mutant keeping him held, the Capricorn was very much incapacitated and he ceased any attempt at getting up when he heard his matesprit speaking. Perhaps he'd just fallen, an unpleasant miracle from his Messiah for his apparent disobedience in moving quickly enough. "karbro, i- i gotta get my move on-" He nearly whined, one hand grasping Karkat's arm, confused as to just why he was being held so tightly, /restrained/. Was he hurt or something? Perhaps his knees had simply broken while he walked, but some part of him felt that this... wasn't right, somehow.
[1/27/2013 2:27:03 AM] bangarang: "No," he whispered, shaking his head and dropping his sickle to stroke Gamzee's hair. "Are you okay?" he mumbled into it, rubbing his face into it now, rubbing away his tears. Everything would be okay. Everything would be just fine. He had Gamzee, how could anything be wrong? A dark flash crossed his features, fingers curling possessively into his matesprit. Possessively. Dangerously. "Can you walk?" Karkat could help more, if so. Karkat could do more to assure the safety, the protection of Gamzee. He would not let him leave. Karkat would die without him. He would die, or kill himself trying.
[1/27/2013 3:15:55 AM] Milo: Gamzee nodded as well as he was able, a choked sound leaving him. "think so-" In response to him being okay, anyhow. He couldn't be sure, everything had simply moved too quickly before he'd found himself on the ground. "man, i sure motherfuckin' hope so. you don't got a clue in your pan how much i gotta get my ass movin'-" But when he tried to push himself up, he found that his matesprit was, strangely, still keeping him still. Holding him down. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of that dropped sickle. "what's my reddest brother up and doing with his sharp curve out?"
[1/27/2013 3:22:34 AM] bangarang: He gave one last squeeze, fingers gripping his hair and shoulder tightly before letting him go. He reached to grab his sickle, picking it up and running his fingers over the blade. He bled, but said nothing - he didn't even look like he'd reacted to it at all. If it hurt, he gave no indication. Candy-red dripped down the blade and handle, running over his hand. "Don't worry about it," he mumbled quietly. Looking back at Gamzee again, his pupils were nothing but pinpricks. He wanted his matesprit to try and walk. If he could... something would need to be done about that.
[1/27/2013 3:58:26 AM] Milo: Slowly, the Capricorn put his hands under himself, starting to push his body up when he felt his matesprit letting him go. Letting out a pained grunt as he started to stand, Gamzee wobbled before he straightened, the tendons behind his knees not entirely happy about being used. But he was standing- he was stumbling- no, he was definitely standing now, and damn if the pain of using his legs wasn't enough to scare him. Limping, the Bard started moving, blood draining from his face with the sudden realisation that the possibility remained of being punished further.
[1/27/2013 4:11:50 AM] bangarang: Problem. Problem. Another whimper left him, soft mumbles leaving him that made absolutely zero sense. His tone was rushed and jumbled and Karkat wasn't even sure what he was saying. He just knew his matesprit couldn't leave. Useless as Karkat was... a mutant, a shitty little mutant - He was good for it. He could help. They'd work out and Gamzee would stay... He lashed out with his sickle, aiming for the back of one of Gamzee's knees. If it connected, and the Capricorn toppled, Karkat would be there to catch him when he fell. There to pet his hair, kiss his face, soothe him and take care of him and keep him there, with his matesprit, where he needed to be. "N-need you," he whispered, dropping the sickle, eyes brimmed with yet more tears.
[1/27/2013 5:11:24 AM | Edited 5:11:51 AM] Milo: Gamzee only barely heard Karkat's odd muttering behind him, though when he turned to look, his breath caught in his throat as he was suddenly-- falling, again, the sick feeling of flesh splitting, tendon snapping and muscle coming apart shocking any thought from his head. His mind was silent as he fell, silent when he felt himself caught by his matesprit, silent as Karkat showered him with affection. And then the pain set in, edging in sharp bursts like the feet of a hundred-thousand crawling insects all heading towards the centre of his new wound. Anything Gamzee could have said was unable to come out, choked back, thinkpan drawing blank after blank, shocked into numb silence. What the -fuck- just happened now?
[1/27/2013 5:24:29 AM] bangarang: "I-it's okay," he whispered, petting over his face with bloody fingers, smearing him with his colour. "I'm here. I have you." With all his strength he stood, hauling his matesprit with him and dragging him - out of that hive, through this bubble. Into another; it looked just like Karkat's hive, except a little different. It wasn't a pile of rubble anymore, and his recuperacoon was gone. So was his broken husktop - who did Karkat need to talk to, anymore? - and instead, in the corner, was... a human bed. Something he'd come up with after he decided to stop sleeping in sopor, something he thought would help him sleep better - or at all. Continually hushing and offering comforting noises to Gamzee he hauled him up into it, elevating his injured leg. "S-something happened," he explained as calmly as he could, despite the amount of nonsense that was rolling around in his head; "It'll be okay. Y-you're here, and it'll be okay."
[1/27/2013 6:27:00 AM | Edited 6:27:16 AM] Milo: He couldn't do anything other than let out pained noises as the Cancer practically hauled him off, gripping tightly onto Karkat and unable to keep his footing. There were tons of things he wanted to say, to /ask/, but all he managed were mumblings as senseless as could be imagined. Claws dug into his matesprit's shoulder and side as he struggled to move with the other, easily drawing blood and pressing deeper with each pound of his blood-pusher, every beat of his pulse. The taller troll nearly yelped upon being tugged onto the bed, already having broken out into a harsh sweat, greasepaint smearing when hands went to grab at his own hair, senselessly holding his face, doing anything to shake the shock. "wh.. ha- fuck- happened?" His voice was shaken, trying to get out his full question.
[1/27/2013 6:43:49 AM] bangarang: The pain barely bothered Karkat; the claws in his shoulders just reminding him his matesprit was here. Here, not walking away to leave him for another sweep. To his own vices. To rot. To /die/. "A-accident," he murmured gently, taking his hands from his face and holding them as he stood next to the bed. "B-but it's okay, see? I'm here, I can help -" He looked to the edge of the bed, blood pooling on it. Not his own. It made him feel calmer. Which was remarkable, considering he felt calmer than he had in a long, long time. "Y-you're here with me now. N-nothing bad can happen." He leaned over and kissed his forehead, climbing next to him. "I'll f-fix it soon. But... but let's just... can't we..." Karkat curled up next to him, still holding his hands and resting against him. He was still crying, but he had no recollection of why he had started or why he was still. It didn't make sense, but that didn't matter right now.
[1/27/2013 6:56:19 AM] Milo: "no fuckin'- accident-" He groaned as Karkat joined him, the movement of the bed enough to jostle his injury, still fresh and shooting searing bolts up and down his entirety. "gotta fix it /now/, brother-" There wasn't much fight in him, already exhausted from the trip into this dream bubble, trying not to squeeze Karkat's hands when the other pulled his own from his face. "karkat, /please/, mirthful messiahs got their- ah, /shit/- their fuckin' punishment on for me, gotta fix it--" The Capricorn didn't understand, shifting and making noises of complete discomfort until, with one last accidental jolt of his leg, he found himself unconscious, overwhelmed.
[1/27/2013 7:08:50 AM] bangarang: Nodding sympathetically for the duration of his matesprit's silly ramble, he hushed him gently as he fell still; unconscious. There. Quiet time. For a while he just rest there, petting his hands, smearing his own blood on him, tired eyes alive with some unsettling force. Seemingly content, he sat up, shuffling to the hygieneblock and rummaging through the cabinet. He found a bottle of peroxide and some bandages, and also brought along a glass of water for good measure. He set to work once he was back, tearing the leg of Gamzee's pants where he'd cut through it, making the injury more easily accessible. Here he went to work, dabbing at the gash with a peroxide-soaked rag, eventually wrapping the dressings around it. He smiled unnervingly as he worked, satisfied with the intensity of the damage that he'd caused. Hopefully it'd be enough. Hopefully it'd be enough for his matesprit to stay and forget his stupid work. He should have let Karkat help. The aspiring Threshecutioner would have done /anything/ to help him. "Sh-should have let me..." he whispered, finishing up the job. "But you d-didn't... and look wh-what you let happen..." Unsavory bolt of anxiety shot through him and he crawled up next to him again, trembling as he nestled close to his matesprit and sniffled through confusing tears.
[1/29/2013 5:09:37 AM] Milo: Gamzee couldn't make much sense of anything his matesprit was saying, but he remained quiet aside from small noises of pain, shifting in discomfort and flinching away from Karkat's cleaning. He was remarkably sore, body still unable to fully cope with the fact that it'd been so suddenly cut, so quickly maimed. Eventually, everything came into focus, and he reached a shaking hand over to tangle into the other's hair, still thinking his Messiahs had punished him. For now, they were silent, shocked quiet by one of their subjuggulating hosts receiving such an injury. To the Capricorn, it must have been their fault, they must be lacking sound because they were satisfied with what they'd been able to do to him, right? At the moment, they all seemed content to lay here and try to heal, more than fine with putting work aside - his Messiahs couldn't push his body so hard he'd be hurt further if they wanted him to do so many important things and he simply didn't want to deal with the pain of obeying them at present. One thing he did know, however, was that when they called upon him to tell him it was time to carry on, he would listen in an instant. " 'coon, brother-" Gamzee mumbled, trying to tell the Cancer to help him to a recuperacoon full to the brim of that wonderful green substance; it'd help him heal faster, get him back to work sooner. "need a motherfuckin' 'coon, please-"
Eyes closed at the hand in his hair, an almost conditioned reaction given to it. His mind and body were on a hair-trigger for attention, and if the quiet whimper he gave as a response as well as curling closer were any indication of just how /badly/ he needed it... Coon? A recuperacoon? He shook his head mildly, shaking fingertips lifting to his matesprit's ((although he felt more something like a mate/rail/, if he may be so bold as to portmanteau the quadrants)) face to  pet his cheek gently. "I don't have one," he whispered softly, "it'll kill me." He was probably being a little melodramatic, but at this point he was almost certain that after not sleeping in it for so long - after not sleeping at /all/ for so long - the sopor would be a shock to his system. Just the thought of it pooling over him, engulfing him and swallowing him whole was enough to send another shudder through him, hand falling to grip the Capricorn's shirt tightly. "D-don't make me... I can't have it, it's so bad... bad for you, too, you're d-doing so well-" If by 'well' Karkat meant 'going on a murderous bender', then yes. Gamzee was doing well without the stuff. "Just let me... let me help." And, of course, by 'help' Karkat meant cling to him possessively like a feral animal guarding its food - or children. Yes. This was perfectly healthy.
[1/29/2013 5:43:38 AM] Milo: "didn't say i was gonna get my ingesting on, karbro, just- fuck- shit fuckin' /hurts, please/-" That last bit came out in a loud whine, teeth gritting as he tried to at least flex his leg, see if there could be a more tolerable position for him. There wasn't, unsurprisingly enough. His body was still broken out in sweat, shaking with the intensity of his /hurt/, hand tightening in Karkat's hair now and then when it came to be too much. "just me in the 'coon, motherfucker, you don't gotta get your touch on none 'a it.." He could scream with how confusing and agonizing this whole strange fiasco was, though his muddled mind still hadn't - and likely wouldn't for a good while - put it all together that it had been Karkat, /Karkat/ who had done this to him in the first place. Shit, and Gamzee was feeling close to falling unconscious again, free hand tugging helplessly at his clothing. "fuckin' h-hot-" Both hot and cold at once, a strange fever responding to his body's trauma, but his clothes were undoubtedly soaked.
[1/29/2013 6:00:02 AM] bangarang: It hurt now, but Gamzee could only understand a fraction of the pain Karkat felt when he was gone; when he said he was leaving again, and as he tried to go. Soft gasp was heard from him as the hand tightened, shaking his head again. It burned. It felt nice. Attention, any attention, was a comfort. "I d-don't have one," he repeated sadly, those weird and uncalled for tears flooding his eyes again. Why was he even crying? "I don't have one b-because I don't sleep... can't sleep." Those brief naps in the horn pile hardly counted, and he was ever-restless, ever wary. Stupid little troll. The bed was more a formality, a comfort object, than anything else. He sat up though as Gamzee said he was hot, hands nervously fretting about him. "Sh-should I help? I can help." He could take his shirt off, open a window. Anything. He'd do anything. He tugged at the edge of Gamzee's shirt, imploring him with those tired, stressed, eerie eyes.
[1/29/2013 6:10:19 AM] Milo: He couldn't think to argue, 'get one, think one up, this is your dream bubble isn't it?', just accepting the fact that, simply, one wasn't here and nodded tiredly. Then, at the suggestion he could help, Gamzee nodded again, grasping the edge of his shirt and pulling it up a little bit. "get rid of it, fuck, take it all the motherfuck off-" His words were shaky, the hand grasping his matesprit's head letting go. The Capricorn's body wasn't sure whether it wanted to squirm or lay still, a sudden burst of energy as he grew desperate to get the hell out of his now sweat-dampened outfit, away from his heated and freezing skin. Even his breath was shuddering, blood-pusher pumping unsurely in his chest, lungs fluttering between trying to cope with those strikes of hurt and the consequential unexpected fever. "/off/-" His own eyes were closed tight, had been squeezed shut for who knew how long now.
Nodding stupidly he helped take the garment off, flinging it off to the side as if it were on fire. He assumed 'all' meant his ripped pants too, so he painstakingly tugged them off as well, taking special care not to hurt him further. He'd done his job, insured Gamzee would stay with him. That's what mattered. He was here, and he wasn't leaving. Matesprit successfully stripped, he found himself breathing shallowly as well - he wasn't sure if it was from the tediousness of the task he'd been given or if it was for another reason entirely. He was feeling uncomfortable for some reason, and in a moment he'd removed his shoes, socks, and his own pants. A little better. Deep breath amongst the half-fluttered intakes and he grabbed Gamzee's hands again, holding them weakly. "I-it's okay," he assured quietly, stroking over his knuckles. "It's all okay." Karkat's entire world was in this human bed with him, sitting and talking and /existing/. Everything would be okay. No need to worry. Karkat would take care of everything.
[1/29/2013 6:40:03 AM] Milo: Gamzee couldn't even voice the relief he felt as those wet clothes were so gently removed. Dear /Messiahs/, his body could /breathe/, skin hungrily drinking the sensation of exposure. Calmed by this simple freedom, the subjuggulator let out a long sigh, finally feeling as though he could relax. He tried, nearly succeeded. Eyes opened when he felt Karkat leave him, looking needily for his matesprit until he focussed and saw that he was also undressing. Alright, that would feel nice too, skin on skin, even if Karkat had left his shirt on. Uncaring that he himself was fully exposed, Gamzee just nodded again at the vocal support, mouth pulling into a slow smile. "i know, brother, you're gonna fix me right the motherfuck up." Tugging at the other's hands, he urged the mutant to lay down with him again, wanting to feel him as he released his consciousness again.
[1/29/2013 6:55:38 AM] bangarang: When his matesprit seemed visibly better, honestly like he was /feeling/ better and enjoying his time here instead of thrashing around like an idiot, Karkat let himself smile again. Good. Everything was going to be okay, he just knew it. Karkat had left his shirt on simply because being so small he tended to get a little cold, and didn't feel like scrambling for his clothing later on. Seemed like a nuisance, all in all. Imagine the relief that painted itself on Karkat's tired, for-some-reason teary face, when Gamzee spoke like that and /smiled/ while doing so - even pulling him down to lay with him. Curling against him lovingly he was able to nestle in a comfortable way, hands still gripping the ones he held. Unable to sleep he drifted in his head aimlessly for what felt like hours; listening to his matesprit breathe and letting his thoughts manifest. A few hours later he was tugged from a very light doze by a slim streak of unreasonable terror and anxiety, fleeing from the bed immediately to the hygieneblock - and throwing up in the load gaper. More awestruck than anything, he wiped his face in confusion - feeling more tears, for some reason, rinsed his mouth, and shakily returned to the bed. Gamzee sleeping immediately relieved the inexplicable terror - he was here, nothing was wrong. Karkat was fine and would always be fine with his matesprit here - and he crawled on top of him, minding his injury as he lay there, mind dancing with nothing but comfort and images of just how /happy/ he was.
[1/29/2013 8:29:45 AM] Milo: The Capricorn slept for two full nights, two full days. Often, he'd just barely touch the edges of waking, harsh tremors wracking his body and screams bursting forth from deep within his chest, echoing throughout the room as though he were dying. When he finally pulled himself into waking, Gamzee did so with a start and gasping for breath. Shit, there wasn't enough /air/, he couldn't drink honey-sweet oxygen in fast ehough, hands scrabbling to find something to hold onto until he felt warmth next to him and dug his claws in, clutching onto Karkat until he could analyse his surroundings. "woah-" Still panting, the Bard looked down himself at his bandaged wound, everything coming back to him like a sack of bricks to the head. He shifted his leg, hissed, went still. Suddenly realising how goddamn /thirsty/ he was, he gave Karkat a pleading look, "liquid, brother, need a motherfuckin' /drink/-" A couple drinks. He'd do well with ten drinks, too.
[1/29/2013 1:32:59 PM] bangarang: Karkat woke infrequently((although waking from his naps could be counted as 'lightly roused')), alternating between anxious trips to the hygieneblock to throw up again, and waking with a start to soothe his matesprit, assure him he was okay, and mumble reassuring things. Everything's fine. Shh, you're here, with your super-caring matesprit - everything's fine. The latest jar though and Karkat had just very nearly been asleep for real, jolting at the claws in him and responding with a confused whimper. He felt like he needed to  run to the hygieneblock again but he quelled it, watching Gamzee nervously. "Wh-whats wrong?" he whispered, but then he heard the request for water and he nodded briskly - sliding claws out of his arms to scuttle to the nutritionblock for a big glass of water, returning with it moments later. Holding it at his side, he offered to help him hold it while he drank. "Th-there," he murmured tiredly, his arms burning a little. Ouch. Small price to pay, though, to be reminded that he was here with /him/, instead of gone and away.
[1/30/2013 1:09:48 AM] Milo: He calmed soon after, giving a long sigh as he tried to calm his frayed nerves. Dear Messiahs, he couldn't have handled this alone, thankful Karkat was here with him and knowing that without him, Gamzee would have probably just crawled away to find somewhere to curl up, grow infected and become useless. When the mutant assisted him in drinking, he gave appreciative little sounds, closing his eyes with the relief of cool liquid and drinking deeply until the glass was empty. "can't thank you enough, motherfucker, best friend got his mind in the right place." He gave a broken little smile, wrapping an arm around his matesprit, the other stroking lazily down his chest.

[1/30/2013 1:33:10 AM] bangarang: Feeling queasy Karkat smiled weakly, nodding a little as the arm came around him. His eyes were.... really sore. He'd cried so much ((still, without reason!)) and they hurt to even touch. Not to mention he was still fucking tired as shit. And exhausted from throwing up so much, gross. "I'll do whatever I c-can to help." He meant it. Carefully sliding onto the bed next to Gamzee he sighed, curling up against him and just... wanting to be close. Even though he'd been close for the past two days, a little longer. And he'd be close as possible for as long as possible. He wasn't... sure yet what he'd do when Gamzee's leg healed, and his mind tripped over itself trying to think of something else to keep him here. He could make him sick? But that would be messy and being close would be hard. He could hurt his other leg? But how could he do it stealthily? Frown appeared, fingertips pressing worriedly into his matesprit's chest, shaking his head. Don't think about that now, Karkat! He's here now. "Y-you're here now..." he assured himself in a tone that was barely a whisper.
[1/31/2013 9:35:03 PM] Milo: The two of them had been gone for far too long, to the extent that /everyone/ noticed one or the other (some realised that -both- were missing) seemed to have disappeared. A few took the time to search, to no avail. Meanwhile, Gamzee had grown more than used to his matesprit's care, the most warped handle on what exactly 'happiness' and 'fine' was now rolling constantly around his thinkpan. Presently, a very out-of-it Gamzee muttered quiet songs to his red partner, stroking his hair and playing gently with his little horns. His broken singing was often interrupted by pained noises filtering out as little bouts of laughter, as he was often prone to doing anymore. Laughing, babbling nonsense, but undoubtedly praising and showering his matesprit with all the adoration Karkat wanted out of him.
It'd taken nearly a human week to figure out where the mutant had run off to, but at last, Kanaya found herself walking through into his dream bubble. She knew, she'd always known where to find them, however she wanted to assume that they were simply absent for everyone else's safety. There was only so long, though, that she could wait knowing that Karkat was alone somewhere with Gamzee. As much as she tried to respect the Cancer's moiraillegiance, her thoughts on Gamzee were still as sour as the night she'd kicked him in the bulge. She stopped altogether when she saw what was quite possibly a scene she had least expected to see. The Capricorn lay looking injured (?) and mildly ill, Karkat looking safe as rain cuddled up next to him. Her brows knit together, confused. "...Karkat." Her tone was between a question and a statement. "What Has Happened? The Others Are Worried About You, You Didn't Say Anything About Where You Were Going." She gave a distasteful look Gamzee's way - notice she didn't mention anyone being worried about Gamzee. They weren't. Everyone aside from Kurloz could probably give a damn less where the murderous clown had disappeared to.
[1/31/2013 9:57:32 PM] bangarang: This was all that he had wanted. Close time with Gamzee, being allowed to take care of him and dote upon him and tell him how much he neat to the mutant. He was curled up against him, head on his chest as he purred and listened to him talk and sing to him. Every time he would stop and sound like he was in pain, Karkat would shoosh him quietly, stroking his face, kissing his cheek, reassuring him that it was okay. Everything was fine. If he felt a little sick, that was fine. Just Karkat making sure Gamzee would stay with him, couldn't leave Karkat behind. Infrequently Karkat had taken breaks, bouts of confusion and tears he couldn't explain overtaking him. He'd thrown up a lot, he'd lost weight. He'd lost sleep but that never happened anyway. But he made sure Gamzee ate and drank whenever he needed it - the Cancer dedicating his entire /life/ to his matesprit. Occasionally, mostly while Gamzee was asleep, Karkat would sit awake next to him and stroke his hair or his face or his arm, and told him he loved him. If he ever said it while he was awake he knew that the Capricorn wouldn't understand, so he kept the sentiment to himself and only shared it when he knew it was acceptable. 'I love you', whispered under his breath as Gamzee stroked his hair, sighing quietly. But... what was that noise? He sat up as Kanaya approached, almost looking defensive. And a little worse for wear. Safe, yes. Sound, no. "N-nothing's happened," he defended. If it had been anyone else, he could have lied so easily. But Kanaya... he had some weird bond with her. Right now, he hated it. "I went to find my moirail." Kanaya of all trolls knew that while everyone else may hate Gamzee, he was more important to Karkat than anyone else. "I don't care about the others. They couldn't give half a fuck about me, anyway."
[1/31/2013 11:55:41 PM] Milo: Gamzee barely noticed when Kanaya spoke, hardly registered her presence aside from looking hazily her way and sending a lazy smile, a small wave. He was content to just lay there and listen as they exchanged words, giving small sounds whenever he shifted his body. It hurt too much to really move anymore, but he knew that everything Karkat had done to him, had done -for- him, was necessary. There was something wrong with him and Karkat knew just what to do to fix him, it was simply a long process of healing and injuring until whatever was wrong had righted itself. Damn, but his red brother was just the best friend he could ever ask for - how many other motherfuckers had a moirail or a matesprit who would so willingly break his messed-up bones for them?
The jadeblood, on the other hand, completely ignored Gamzee other than to briefly look him over. He didn't look good (but when had he ever?), bloodstains on his recently-changed bandages and cheekbones poking out like he was on the verge of dying. Gamzee's weight hadn't faired well either, even though Karkat made his best attempts at keeping him fed. "Karkat," She replied very slowly, obviously trying to sort out what she wanted to say, how best to put it. "That Doesn't Sound Like You At All. If It Means Anything, He Doesn't Look Well. What Happened, Did He Come Down With A Case Of Self-Harm? His Wounds Smell Fresh And Old." Kanaya didn't assume the worst, not yet. She'd ever assume the worst with Karkat. "Perhaps You Should Allow His Dancestor To Have A Look."
[12:12:04 AM] bangarang: His hands were shaking, and the small troll was looking like he had every intention of bolting - and taking Gamzee with him. Anger and regret bubbled in him as Kanaya kept talking, the two feelings fighting for dominance in the small space that was his body. F-fuck. "H-he's fine," he argued. "I'm taking care of him. ...he needs me." And Karkat needed him more than he ever needed anything, more than he needed to sleep or eat or even breathe. "He needs me. I'm h-helping." He didn't want to leave, so Karkat helped with that. He shook his head though at the suggestion, recalling how uncomfortable the two looked around each other. And the poor brain-damaged Gemini - they felt the same way, Karkat couldn't let anyone take the older Capricorn from his needy moirail. Matesprit? It was hard to tell. But they needed each other too. "N-no. He has me, we're /fine/." Once again he was crying, but this time he knew what for - Kanaya was trying to take Gamzee away from him. He rubbed his eyes, trying to talk around his tears. "Y-you don't even like him," he contested softly. "Why do you want to take him away from me?" Swallowing, he held one of Gamzee's hands to his chest, curling around it. "H-he's all I have... you can't take him away from me. Not again. He can't leave again."
[12:23:55 AM] Milo: Her lips tightened. Gamzee gurgled something intelligible, hand running across Karkat's chest as it was held. "Karkat." She took a more stern approach now, though the upwards slant of her eyebrows betrayed her worry. Her mouth opened to say something more, then closed again. She needed a different approach. "Very Well. I Will Leave, But Know I Will Be Back Soon To Check On You." Another almost-disgusted look was sent towards the crippled subjuggulator, "And Him, I Suppose." Considering he was the reason Karkat had run off in the first place, anyway. Kanaya sent one last suspicious look at her mutant-blooded friend, "Get Something To Eat, Please. You're Looking A Tad Too Thinned Out," then she turned away, quietly leaving the dream bubble. At least she knew where he was now, easier to find next time. As much as she could tell Karkat would fight it, something had to be done.
[12:47:45 AM] bangarang: Karkat cooed at his matesprit when he touched him, loving nothing more than being here with him. He needed nothing else in the entire world. He nodded subbornly as Kanaya said she'd be back; fine, come back, but you'll never take him from me. Stroking over Gamzee's arm and face he hushed him gently, kissing his temple and murmuring to him in a soothing tone. It'd be okay. He looked back up at Kanaya as she spoke again, frowning. He didn't have time to eat! But he might as well humor her, she'd only harp on him more if he didn't. "I'll t-try." As she retreated he whined, shaking his head and gripping Gamzee's hand tighter. He was worried, suddenly. Really worried. Oh fuck - "S-sorry-" he feld from the bed to the hygieneblock, the usual ritual of a flash of guilt, anxiety, regret - he threw up. Which was stupid because he hadn't even eaten anything in the past day or so. So it kinda just hurt and felt terrible. Minutes later he hauled himself back, curling up on his matesprit again, gripping him tightly. "D-don't go," he whimpered, crying into him. Worried as shit. Kanaya was going to come back, he could feel it... "I love you, don't go..."
[1:47:06 AM] Milo: Gamzee shushed Karkat as he cried, rubbing his back and face with his hands, his speech impeded by just how broken down he was starting to become with all that his matesprit was doing to him. They'd come so far, his Messiahs finally having left him alone, finding him to be a lost cause and doing nothing but muttering their disappointment with him in the back of his head. It was easier to ignore them, easier now that his partner was here keeping him safe. What a great friend. The greatest.
Five nights later, Kanaya did return. She wasn't alone. A small host of trolls came along, more recruited than coming of their own free will. Yes, all were worried for Karkat, but none wanted to handle what would have to be done without more coming along.  To her left, Kankri looked almost scared. Cronus gagged at the sheer smell of infection, sickness. Porrim frowned deeply, placing a hand on Kankri's shoulder. Kurloz said nothing, of course, but his expression darkened, looking more angry by the moment; so /that's/ where his charge had been - didn't this little mutant know how much -work- they had to do? How behind they now were? "Karkat." Kanaya greeted, everyone behind her holding their ground. "We've Come To Help, Whether You Want Us To Or Not. For Your Own Good." And they advanced, ready to put hands on him and pull him away from the highly-injured Capricorn. Kankri attempted to be reassuring, to try one last time to convince his bloodmatch to let them assist. "We're not taking him from you, Karkat. We're just going to get him healthy."
[2:27:13 AM] bangarang: It was like that that Karkat managed to calm down long enough to slip into an uneasy nap, with Gamzee close and petting him gently. Good. He was okay if Gamzee was okay. The next few days were spent in anxiousness and fear, his possessiveness over his matesprit increasing tenthfold. He'd shut the shades on the windows, , huddled up closer to Gamzee in the bed. They couldn't take him. They couldn't have him. No one loved Gamzee like Karkat did. Terrified eyes flew up to Kanaya as she entered, whimpering and shaking his head and backing up against the edge of the bed slowly, trying to hide Gamzee from view. "N-no-" he argued, but he couldn't back up anymore, couldn't get any further away. "You c-can't have him," he whispered, for the second time crying with a reason he was well aware of. "He needs me, he needs me-" Sobs broke his words and he wiped his face, rubbing his eyes and nose as he tried to control himself. "H-he's fine... we're happy, why doesn't an-anyone want us to be happy?" He glanced at Kanaya, a look of 'how could you' in his eyes. How could she do this to him when she knew how badly Karkat needed someone? Needed Gamzee? "I j-just want to be happy." Didn't he deserve it for once in his miserable life? Shaking, hand darted out to grab the pair of scissors he'd been using to cut the gauze off Gamzee and off the roll to re-dress his injuries. If he couldn't have Gamzee he'd... Karkat'd... He held the point to his own neck, staring Kankri dead in the eyes. "G-Gamzee stays... o-or I go." No one was going to find his quest bed - and most of them couldn't even help look for it. So he'd be gone for good. Which is what he wanted. All he was good for was looking after Gamzee. His tears fell constantly, and his voice cracked with how serious he was trying to be. "I'll fucking do it." No one understood just how important this was to him. As he said before. Karkat would be with his matesprit forever. Or die trying.

[2:37:48 AM] Milo: They all looked about as surprised as Kankri, who put a hand out in a 'don't do it!' gesture. "Karkat, listen to me," The older mutant spoke slowly, both hands out now as he stepped forward, Kanaya at his side. The rest of them only waited to be told what to do. "Look at your friend. Look at how /sick/ and /hurt/ he is. He's wasting away and you're letting him. You have to stop, we're not going to /take him from you/-" Kanaya hushed him, then looked very seriously at the upset little Cancer. "Put The Scissors Down. In Your Right Mind, You Know We Wouldn't Dare Separate The Two Of You For Good." Kurloz looked about ready to shove the rest of them out of the way and take Karkat out himself. Gamzee had only the amount of sense in his head to look the group over, sending them a small smile, then set his eyes onto his best friend. "brother, you ain't gotta get a change on these dressings yet," Like Karkat was only holding the scissors because he was gonna, well. "get yourself back down here, all sorts of motherfuckin' cold." Cold, of course, because he was still fevering, creeping closer to a slow death. Kankri, unable to keep himself silent any longer, spoke up again. "He's /dying/, friend. Don't you want him to live long enough to be with you until a natural end?"
[3:01:55 AM] bangarang: Hands trembling, the point of the scissors pressed dangerously into his neck, eyes darting between everyone in the group. "Y-you're lying," he whispered, reaching behind him and grabbing Gamzee's hand as if to reassure himself someone hadn't snuck behind him and pulled him away. "You're g-gonna take him-" Deep, shuddering intake of breath - "A-and I'm never g-gonna see him again." The thought sent another sob bubbling in his throat, vision blurring. He couldn't blink. He'd blink, and Gamzee'd be gone. Gamzee'd be gone and Karkat would be left all alone to wallow in his own misery. If that happened... he probably would kill himself. "H-he's fine," he tried to reassure sternly. He was taking care of him! Changing the bandages, cleaning the wounds - doing everything in his power to keep his best friend, his matesprit, safe and happy.  Looking at Kanaya again, he shook his head. "Y-you want him gone more than an-anyone." His shaking voice was quiet as he addressed her. "Why did you do this?" Even if all this ridiculousness they were spouting was true - which it obviously wasn't - Karkat himself was fine. So what did it matter to Kanaya if Gamzee wasn't? when Kankri spoke again he turned towards him sharply, the very tip of the scissors piercing his neck just enough to cause a small bead of candy-red to show. "You're all f-fucking idiots. We're goddamn fine. Just... just go away. Please just... g-go away." He crept like that back up onto the bed at his matesprit's request, settling down in front of him, blocking him from view still. "I-I'm here," he assured in a wavering tone, turning away from the crowd for just a split second to shakily touch Gamzee's face. "I'm here forever."
[3:17:19 AM] Milo: Gamzee smiled. "i know, brother." That split second was all Kurloz needed. His eyes went purple, Karkat suddenly unable to use his muscles, unable to move. His hand was forced to drop the scissors and everyone surged forward, the mute keeping the Cancer still while the rest of them went about lifting Gamzee's illness- and injury-ridden form from the bed. Kanaya stayed behind to supervise while Kurloz held the smaller male's hands behind his back, not hesitating to bind them. Cloth found its way over his eyes. He was walked out of the dreambubble while the rest of the group carried Gamzee, moaning and squirming as pain overwhelmed him. "ain't gotta hurt him, he's been a motherfuckin' great host, the best--" The Capricorn ground out between hurt-tight jaws.
When both were back to awareness, Gamzee was situated comfortably in Kurloz's hive, monitored closely by the stitch-mouthed Prince and his yellowblooded matesprit. He was on the way to a very, very slow recovery, but he would be fine. Karkat, on the other hand, had been led to Porrim's hive, watched over by far more. Kankri and Kanaya hung around out of worry, Cronus out of curiosity. The mutant wouldn't be able to move when he woke up, tied securely down. He'd open his eyes to a frowning Kankri. "Good evening, Karkat. Before you let yourself lose control, know that your friend is safe. He will be returned to you in due time."
He let himself smile back, just happy to have his matesprit fill his vision. Until - "N-no-!" he choked out, struggling as much as he could. Fuck! No! Hand twiched open against his will, dropping the scissors. Terrified, angry cries left him as he watched the other trolls carry Gamzee away. "Gamzee!" he cried, fighting the invisible binds, exhausting his own weakened body with the necessity to thrash, reach out, fight back - do /something/. Sobs wracked his form, howling his protests as he was bound and blindfolded, and forced out of the hive. "I l-love you, G-Gamzee - don't take him from m-m-me please-" He wasn't sure how he'd passed out, but waking up instantly set him on edge. He felt like he needed to throw up again, a sudden and painful rush of guilt and anxiety surfacing in him. But there was Kankri. He couldn't say anything, he was far too weakened to reply straight away. He felt a nauseas lump rise in his throat, and his red, half-open eyes belied his current state. "Wh...why did you take him..." he whimpered in a whisper. "N-needs me..." Tears began to roll down his face, the taste of bile mixing with the taste of snot as it trickled down his throat. "N-need him, please... d-don't do this to me..." He was sobbing again, much more softly this time - he just didn't have the energy. "Let me go... o-or just kill me, I cant - I have to help him... I need him, /need/ him-" Gamzee was the only troll that ever understood him, ever really listened to him. Without that... Karkat had nothing. Was nothing. -- Mituna had been told to 'stay put, be good, don't worry' while Kurloz had left to go do something mysterious. Imgaine the Gemini's surprise when a handful of trolls had delivered an unconscious Gamzee to their hive. He hid beyond one of the doorways, watching curiously - and a little scared - as everyone fretted over him. It seemed bad, and it was making him anxious. After everyone but Kurloz and obviously Gamzee left he approached his matesprit nervously, putting a hand on his arm. He was wearing his cleaned bee shirt, once again parading around in nothing but it and his boyshorts. Kurloz had been worried the past few days, and getting fully dressed only served the purpose of going out - so he'd hung around with his matesprit to try and soothe him. "H-him, fuck, why-" He looked up at Kurloz, concern evident in his face. "Hurt? Will h-he be... be okay?" The smaller Capricorn only served to make Kurloz upset, but if he was hurt... Mituna didn't want anything /bad/ to happen to him. He just wanted him to lay off his matesprit.
[4:39:17 AM] Milo: "We 'took' him, Karkat, because he was dying and you were letting him. From what Porrim has said from her last visit to where we are keeping him, his injuries were extensive. He was sick with numerous diseases that would not exist in a dream bubble without being introduced. The breaks in his bones and he cuts in his legs came from a troll, repeatedly over a span of time. Don't worry - he will be fine. Eventually." Kankri frowned, looked pityingly down at his young copy. "You hurt him, Karkat. /You/ did this to your matesprit. Often. And you will be kept here until we all feel you are safe enough to see him again."

Kurloz ought to have had the foresight to warn his matesprit that others would be coming. He only saw a glimpse of the yellowblood darting off to hide from the others, everyone paying his curiously-peeking self no mind as they went about setting Gamzee up and beginning to treat the worst of his wounds as well as his sickness. Being too weak to do much other than allow anything, the subjuggulator soon found himself awake, watching Mituna with hazy eyes. Kurloz was signing something-or-other, "Will be okay. Very hurt. Be nice." Another reminder for the yellowblood to treat Gamzee as well as any of their friends had they been hurt, even though the younger Capricorn did tend to treat the older rather.. terribly, really. That didn't matter; Kurloz knew he was a pawn, Gamzee the key player in the biggest miracles their Messiahs had to give them. When the mute noticed his charge awake and blinking, he didn't hesitate to offer food which he ate weakly from the other's palm, then drink, which he struggled to keep from spilling on himself. Mituna would recognise this care - once upon a time, after the accident, the same sort of careful tending was given to him.
"N-no-" he argued weakly, "y-you don't unders-stand-" And likely they never would. They didn't understand what it felt like, they didn't understand the pain of being abandoned for so long - they didn't understand what love was. It was such a painful thing to experience, but at the same time he couldn't live without it. He swallowed with difficulty, trembling and struggling against the binds that held him down. "H-he didn't want to l-leave, I was h-helping - y-you can ask, he s-said he didn't want to-" Without the attention from his matesprit he felt lost and alone, so alone he wanted to die. He sobbed miserably, hands opening and closing. He wanted to hold something, anything - he wasn't in a state where he could take all this negative attention all at once. And he still wanted to throw up. "H-help-" Sobbing so hard made him work himself into a state of dry heaving, which would turn into regular heaving before long. -- Mituna nodded warily, still almost hiding behind his matesprit a little. But when he moved towards their 'guest' he approached also with a certain amount of caution, sitting a little off to the side as the events transpired. He was mostly quiet; not having much to say to either of them. It was... really strange. A little upsetting. Regardless of Gamzee being nice to Mituna himself, he never treated Kurloz nice - and that bothered him. Why would he be nice to Mituna, and not his matesprit? A frown crossed his features. It was because of his busted 'pan, wasn't it? He sighed heavily, folding his arms a little stubbornly. It wasn't like he /wanted/ to have someone be mean to him... it just wasn't fair. "Wh-wha, um, fuck, what h-happen?" he finally asked in a quiet tone, still watching the floor. If Kurloz responded he'd notice the signing right away, but for now he was content to pout until he got an answer.