A love letter to my dear brother.

「A love letter to my dear brother.」
To: Tora Katsugaya
From: Miyo Katsugaya

...
I've always looked up to you.
Whenever kids bullied me, you always came to my rescue, and when the kids saw your figure in the distance, they would always run away screaming.
And when you reached me, you would always sit down next to me, you wouldn't say a word, you would just sit there, right next to me, and stroke my hair, until I couldn't cry anymore.
And when I couldn't cry any more, you would always ask in such a gentle tone, "Do you want an ice cream?", and then put on that gentle smile of yours.
When I grew older, kids stopped bullying me, but you were still there for me.
Whenever I had a difficult time with homework, you would always help me, while smiling ever so gently, you really were the ideal big brother, I couldn't have asked for anyone else.
I wish those days where I could spend my time with you would never end, however, that childish desire got abruptly crushed when She entered our world.
One day, you brought Her home, she was very beautiful, long dark hair, brown big eyes, and a very slim body.
At first I wondered who She was, but before I could ask, my Mother who was just passing by asked in my stead.
You proudly told us that She was your girlfriend.
I could feel something breaking inside of me, like my heart was being torn apart by something very violent.
I suddenly felt utter hatred towards Her, did she want to take my brother from me?..
However, I didn't want my brother to hate me, so I tried my best and put on a very forced smile, and introduced myself to Her.
What I was greeted with, was not something I expected, when She turned to look at me, all I could see in Her eyes was utter disgust, like She was looking at a bug, something that need to be promptly crushed.
And the tone of her voice was no better, all she said back was a simple "Hi", no introduction, just a simple "Hi", which was filled bitterness.
She obviously did not like me, I did not know why, but it seemed like I was the only one who noticed.
That was the first time I met Her, and one of the few last times I saw you, my dear brother.
After that time, you spent most of your time at her place, rarely coming home, and I could feel something dark starting to consume my very being.
The more time that went by, the worse it got, I couldn't even call you any more, every time I tried to, She would answer, and tell me that you couldn't talk at the moment.
You never replied to any of my emails either, it was if you had completely forgotten that I existed.
I had stopped going to school at this point, I didn't see any real point with life, I just stayed cooped up in my room, crying whenever I had any tears, and when I didn't have any tears, I would just lay in my bed and look at my roof in the darkness.
...
I turned 16 yesterday, I remember when you gave me that huge teddy bear for my 8th birthday, I still have it, it's always next to me, I sometimes imagine that the teddy bear is actually you, sitting next to me, and stroking my hair, I really miss those times..
No one came for my birthday, not that I expected anyone to come, seeing as I have no friends, and Mom and Dad have given up on me, they just see me as something that needs to be fed, that's all.
But.. I just really, really, wanted you to come, I know you haven't come for the last 2 years, but, I just had this childish hope in me, but, you didn't come.
You know, the only reason I'm still here today is because of you, my dear brother.
The only thought in my head these past 3 years have been "He'll surely come back, right? He still loves me, right?", but just the other day, I heard that you had gotten engaged to Her, at first I didn't want to believe it, but, it's probably true.
I feel that if you have found true happiness, then that might some salvation for me, or, that's what I want to feel, but all I can feel is utter hatred and disgust for you.
But at the same time, I love you, I really, really, really love you, I want to become one with you, but that will never happen.
So.. I guess this is the end for me, huh?
No one will care if I disappear from this world, actually, She will probably be happy, if anything.
I just wanted you to know that I've always loved you, my dearest brother.
By the time you've read this, if you're even going to read this, I'll be dead.
I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I'll come up with something, please trust your little sister Miyo on this one!
I will surely kill myself~

Now then, please have a great honeymoon, and I wish you great luck in the future.

With love, from Miyo Katsugaya.
...