DiscoDude: ---BEGIN SESSION---
DiscoDude: Session logging commenced
Ryusui: Once again, the <@&627978553669058562> are lined up before the central podium in Kitchen Arena, a cheering - and perhaps somewhat bloodthirsty - audience in the stands all around them.
Ryusui: Dovelia's expression is unreadable, but she has almost the air of someone participating in an execution. Whether as the executioner or the one to be executed, it's impossible to say.
DetectiveCaillou: "... Am I getting a more bloodthirsty vibe from the stands today? Is that just me?"
Ryusui: "Chefs." The Chairwoman nods. "It's only fair to inform you that the stakes of this challenge will be a little different from what you're used to."
Ryusui: Dovelia gives Tako a sidelong glance, as if telling him, "pay attention."
Reality Glitch: "That was one time!"
Ryusui: "Normally," the Chairwoman continues, "you would each receive ranking points for the season based on your performance in this competition." A holodisplay lights up right behind her, showing the current standings: Vera in first, with a commanding lead of 10 points, followed by Dovelia and Margen, tied for second, and Tako close behind them in fourth.
DetectiveCaillou: Vera gives Tako a confused sideways glance.
Ryusui: "However...to make this, the midpoint of the season, a little more exciting, we have raised the takes for this specific competition. The winner of this challenge will receive...this." She holds up a golden trophy, which looks like two arrows bent in a circle, pointing at one another. Those familiar with 21st-century Earth social media might think it looks a little like a "retweet" button.
Ryusui: "This...is the Golden Switcheroo. Whoever earns it will have the right to trade their season score...with that of one of the other participants."
DetectiveCaillou: "Oh... OH." Vera blinks in surprise, then facepalms. "Fck, I get it now."
Reality Glitch: "Ou...." Tako-San stares, entranced.
ThorNonymous: Margen raises a brow ridge in an expression of intrigue
DetectiveCaillou: ("... Wait, why am I mad about this...?")
Ryusui: "An exciting twist, to be sure! A winner-take-all game in which your very standing in this competition is at risk!" The Chairwoman laughs, pointedly leaving out the crucial twist at the heart of all this: every single one of the other chefs now has reason to gun for Vera.
Ryusui: "Now that that's out of the way, it's time to introduce our Quick-Fire Challenge!"
Ryusui: Three towers rise up around the perimeter of Kitchen Arena. There is a loud hum, and then bolts of high-pressure energy launch from each of them, converging at a single point at the arena's center, directly overhead.
Ryusui: The converging beams form a sphere, which expands outwards, and suddenly the air is filled with the overpowering scent of bacon and a multiphonic squeal the likes of which has but rarely been heard in this dimension. It is like the atmosphere itself has turned to pork.
Reality Glitch: ((Piggy dimension?))
Ryusui: Soon, the energy beams from the three towers are - barely - restraining what looks, to one and all, like an undulating mass of pure pig floating in midair, twisting and writhing and squealing. It is a single massive creature, and from the non-euclidean way it seems to translate through the space above your heads, it can't all fit in three dimensions.
DetectiveCaillou: "It... It's glorious." Vera is in semi-serious (but still straight-faced) awe.
Reality Glitch: "Holy Curved Spacetime, Batman!" Rachelle yells out, watching this unfold from the Green Room.
Ryusui: "This," the Chairwoman proclaims, "is the Pan-Dimensional Overhog. Remarkable creature. Utter failure, as far as culinary experiments go, but only in that it vastly exceeded its creators' expectations. It is ever-growing in a space beyond the comprehension of most denizens of this galaxy. Remarkably intelligent, as well." A single multiphonic snort seems to confirm her declaration. "Its ever-regenerating flesh is said to be some of the most delicious pork in this or any universe. Of course, that would be purely up to the skill of the chefs who prepare it, I would think?" The Chairwoman smirks.
Reality Glitch: ((Wait, wait; I forget which of the tank girls is with Tako-San.))
Ryusui: (isn't it Mel?)
Reality Glitch: ((Mel's doing dirty work behind the scene.))
ThorNonymous: Margen gives a polite greeting to the meatspace, and makes a comment about how infrequently he gets to meet the meat on planets that aren't his own
DetectiveCaillou: "... Sht, can I pet it? Serious question."
Ryusui: You can't be sure, <@!253373026073182208>, but a polite oink seems to cut through the cacophony in response.
Ryusui: "Oh, that would be quite the trick, <@!193827431315013632>. As it is [Constantly in Motion], the Pan-Dimensional Overhog is quite difficult to get a hold of, much less harvest anything from. Don't worry about harming it, by the way - it's always growing more." Another snort in confirmation. "By this point, I hardly need to explain the rules: you will have six exchanges to make a dish using meat harvested from the Pan-Dimensional Overhog. Any cut will do; they are all available in literally infinite supply. However, before you can harvest anything, you must first gain purchase on the creature in some fashion."
Ryusui: (Obtaining the Secret Ingredient will require an Overcome against 0, but first you need to Create an Advantage representing getting into some position where you can do so!)
Ryusui: Dovelia subtly slips Tako a carefully folded-up piece of paper.
DetectiveCaillou: (Wouldn't those roll types be the other way around?)
DetectiveCaillou: (Overcome the aspect, then Create Advantage to get the ingredient?)
Ryusui: (well...consider it two Create Advantage rolls, then)
Ryusui: (the first one to put yourself in position, the second one to create the ingredient aspect)
Ryusui: (that work?)
DetectiveCaillou: (I don't see how the first one isn't Overcome.)
Ryusui: (...fair enough, we'll treat the creature as a zone, and moving to it as an Overcome)
Ryusui: (that work for you?)
DetectiveCaillou: (Not sure zone terminology is needed - you can just say that the aspect prevents us from collecting it - but yeah.)
Ryusui: (well, there is a reason why i want to do it in a way other than a straight overcome against the aspect; the Overhog is an NPC with "Good At" and "Bad At" stats)
Reality Glitch: Tako-San "palms" the note with their suckers and passes it to Lue-Anne as quickly as possible , so as not to waterlog the paper.
DetectiveCaillou: (I see.)
ThorNonymous: Margen puts a tendril to his chin and taps it there, contemplating the best way to get into range of the Overhog
Ryusui: <@!287703565831503882>, the message reads ||Follow my lead||
Ryusui: "All right, then, <@&627978553669058562>. Any further questions?"
DetectiveCaillou: "None whatsoever, lady." Vera rolls up her sleeves.
Reality Glitch: Lue-Anne unfolds the paper without looking at it, disguising the act under nervous fidgeting, before holding it against the tank's cart with her normal grip and her person blocking the view. After Tako-San gets a Good read, he pulls it into the tank to let the water destroy the evidence.
ThorNonymous: Margen considers asking now, but decided to wing it
ThorNonymous: decides
Reality Glitch: "When do we start?" Tako-San asks.
Ryusui: "Right...now!"
Ryusui: QUICK-FIRE COOK-OFF START
Ryusui: EXCHANGE 1/6
DetectiveCaillou: (OOC, I'd like ingredient stats.)
ThorNonymous: (Margen is going to wait and watch the first one or two people attempt to catch the pan-dimensional meat monster before acting but he has an idea)
DetectiveCaillou: Vera walks up to the undulating mote of pig.
"Hey, you seem like literally the coolest mass of edible flesh I've ever seen. Help me out here, and I'll try to make it quick and painless?"
Ryusui: Dovelia stares angrily.
Ryusui: (gimme a roll, Vera XD)
DetectiveCaillou: (Does CLEVER on account of "did you guys think to just ask" count?)
Ryusui: (yes)
DetectiveCaillou: !f 3 (CLEVER)
DiscoDude: <@193827431315013632> rolled 4dF+3 for 2 [4dF = [-][-][+][ ]]
Ryusui: !f -2 (Resisting Persuasion)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF-2 for 0 [4dF = [+][ ][ ][+]]
Reality Glitch: ((I thought of similar.))
ThorNonymous: Margen grins, he was thinking of trying that and it seems it works XD
DetectiveCaillou: (IC, Vera is just a combination of "savvy about sentient ingredients" and "lucky that worked." XD)
Ryusui: There is a squeal like the voice of God - the god of pigs, at least - and a mass of trotters reaches down and scoops you up.
Ryusui: (IC, Dovelia is fuming that you worked it out XD)
DetectiveCaillou: "This is so awesome."
Ryusui: "How the @#$% did she - never mind!" She gestures to Tako, then shouts: "Overhog! I demand you grant me purchase upon your noble back!"
Ryusui: !f 3 (Aggressive)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF+3 for 6 [4dF = [+][ ][+][+]]
Ryusui: !f -2
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF-2 for -5 [4dF = [ ][-][-][-]]
DetectiveCaillou: (BTW, I'm guessing the paper she handed Tako spelled out the proper method?)
Ryusui: (it just said "follow my lead")
ThorNonymous: Margen is mildly jealous and incredibly amused at the ease with which she was able to negotiate with the mass of sentient space and ham
Ryusui: The Overhog is cowed (pigged?) by Dovelia's commanding voice. It seizes Dovelia in another makeshift limb and deposits her on its back - she has -A Slightly More Advantageous Position-!
ThorNonymous: Margen politely requests an entreat with the porkspace entity to retrieve some bacon (careful)
ThorNonymous: !f 3 (careful)
DiscoDude: <@253373026073182208> rolled 4dF+3 for 2 [4dF = [ ][ ][-][ ]]
Ryusui: !f -2
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF-2 for -3 [4dF = [ ][-][-][+]]
Ryusui: The Overhog responds to your polite request by swiftly and gently depositing you in -Another Advantageous Position- on its back!
Reality Glitch: Lue-Anne brings Tako-San up to the Overhog. Tako-San climbs atop her head tp present himself to the higher being. "I know you must get this a lot, but...."
Reality Glitch: !f +3 (Flashy)
DiscoDude: <@287703565831503882> rolled 4dF+3 for 3 [4dF = [ ][-][+][ ]]
Ryusui: !f -2
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF-2 for -2 [4dF = [ ][+][-][ ]]
Ryusui: The Overhog grabs you off Lue-Anne's head. It actually juggles you a bit in midair, as if not quite certain what to make of your means of request, before you land in - you guessed it - -Yet Another Advantageous Position-!
Ryusui: EXCHANGE 2/6
DetectiveCaillou: "Okay, so... Not exactly feeling the love here, looking at where everyone else is at." Don't ask how she knows the relative value of their positions; she just knows the others' are simply... more advantageous. "Whatever, 'whims of those beyond our scope,' and all that. I'm thinking... tenderloin? With your eldritch might, you can probably bring one to the front that can be got in a quick *snip, right?"
(Does keeping the negotiations up after she's already on (and making assumptions about its capabilities) count as CLEVER? (Also, IIRC, does the ingredient creation itself have passive or active resistance?))
Ryusui: (the actual-getting-on-his-back was supposed to be the tricky part, so this is gonna be at +0, no matter how you roll it)
Ryusui: (just pick a part, pick an approach, and roll~)
DetectiveCaillou: !f 3 (CLEVER)
DiscoDude: <@193827431315013632> rolled 4dF+3 for 3 [4dF = [+][ ][-][ ]]
DetectiveCaillou: (SWS?)
Ryusui: (yep!)
DetectiveCaillou: She assumed correctly about its mighty capabilities; a polyp of flesh protrudes from the rippling sack of fat and muscle and squeals in the shape of a sausage; Vera's savvy enough to know not all meat needs to be processed to be cylindrical. By the grace of something beyond mortal ken and the closing of a pair of kitchen shears, Vera has obtained a Pan-Dimensional Overhog Tenderloin [!!] (SAVORY).
Ryusui: (i was gonna flavor it but yours is cool too XD)
Ryusui: Dovelia puts her hand down on the creature's back. "Ribs," she intones, as if performing a summoning. "I need ribs!"
Ryusui: !f 3 (Aggressive)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF+3 for 4 [4dF = [+][+][-][ ]]
Ryusui: A rack of ribs under a thin veneer of skin erupts from the back of the beast. Dovelia has no problem shearing off the Pan-Dimensional Overhog Ribs [!!] (Savory) with her cybernetic blade.
DetectiveCaillou: Vera lets the collective creature deposit her back down on the floor. "I guess you take all kinds, huh?" ("Then again, do you even really differentiate between different kinds of mortal talk?")
Reality Glitch: Tako-San begins drumming upon the Overhogs belly(?), banking on the assumption that their higher-dimensional status means their privy to otherwise very well-kept secrets, including the musical communication method that is of great cultural importance to Tako-San's people.
Reality Glitch: !f +3 (Flashy)
Ryusui: (gimme a roll XD)
DiscoDude: <@287703565831503882> rolled 4dF+3 for 7 [4dF = [+][+][+][+]]
DetectiveCaillou: (WHOA!)
Reality Glitch: ((Eclipse.))
Ryusui: There is a moment of cosmic connection between you and the Overhog's godmind, Tako. Beyond music, beyond words. For an instant, the two of you understand each other perfectly...and it responds to your request with a large chunk of premium Pan-Dimensional Overhog Porkbelly [!!] (Savory).
Ryusui: (name that Popularity Aspect 😉 )
Reality Glitch: ((Cosmic Concerto))
ThorNonymous: Margen petitions the Great Porcine for a transverse segment from the side area (pancetta/streaky bacon, but the entire part to the outside instead of an inner cut)
Ryusui: (roll it!)
DetectiveCaillou: (BTW, do the advantageous positions go away when the others get off the hog?)
Ryusui: (yes)
ThorNonymous: !f 3 (careful)
DiscoDude: <@253373026073182208> rolled 4dF+3 for 5 [4dF = [+][+][ ][ ]]
Ryusui: The Overhog struggles briefly to accede to your request; the cut you're requesting would be quite reasonable on a regular pig, but not for a creature whose parts are literally all over the place. With some effort, it assembles a Pan-Dimensional Overhog Side Cut [!!] (Savory) for your use.
ThorNonymous: Margen thanks the mass of flesh graciously as it lets him down to the ground
Ryusui: EXCHANGE 3/6
Ryusui: Dovelia leaps off the Overhog's back and makes a perfect three-point landing. Her rack of ribs tucked tightly under one arm, she rushes to the Lardertron and carefully keys in a request for some honey - specifically the fabled Pentahoney of Apiary Prime, made by the inexplicable Pentabees, the only bees in the galaxy to make their hives in pentagon shapes instead of hexagons. Space-warping shenanigans are presumably involved.
Ryusui: !f 2 (Careful)
DiscoDude: <@137462772643528704> rolled 4dF+2 for 5 [4dF = [ ][+][+][+]]
Ryusui: The finger-sized vial is full of a deep gold gel. A tiny bit of Pentahoney [!!] (Sweet) goes a long, long way.
DetectiveCaillou: Vera heads back to Station 2, and starts scribbling something... on the counter.
"What's this?!" Holly pops in front of the camera, much to Vera's annoyance. "This symbol she's drawing... Rather than her usual menu-planning, Vera has instead opted to draw up a ritual praising the Great Old Ones!"
"Dude, quiet. I'm not offering up my soul or anything, but this'll only work if you let me concentrate."
(Rolling CLEVER to see if her attempt at "prepping" a "blessing" of the "gods" goes smoothly - gotta cross her "i"s and dot her inverted "t"s.)
Ryusui: (roll 'em!)
DetectiveCaillou: !f 3 (CLEVER)
DiscoDude: <@193827431315013632> rolled 4dF+3 for 4 [4dF = [ ][+][-][+]]
DetectiveCaillou: (SWS.)
DetectiveCaillou: "Okay? ... Okay, there." She claps her hands together and mutters some seemingly obscene chants (despite the translator failing to parse any of it)! The whole station alights with ominous colors. "... Look, relax, this Eldritch Blessing [!!] isn't a deal to obtain a judge's soul or anything; all that was basically Outerspeak for 'yo, do I have y'all's attention?' Nothing to worry about."
ThorNonymous: Margen sighs loudly as he feels an inexorable pull towards Vera's station
DetectiveCaillou: (XD XD XD)
Ryusui: The Overhog gives some alarmed and confused squeals. It is not properly an eldritch god, but it definitely knows you did something it's not entirely sure it likes.
DetectiveCaillou: "Hey, with the ingredient we're being asked to handle, do you really expect anything resembling a 'plan' to survive contact with it? I'm playing this one by ear, and feeling some otherworldly eyes on me is a good way to get inspired."
DetectiveCaillou: Naturally, a true Rival would be using less benign Eldritch rituals; anyone knowledgeable in the field knows that Vera is actually being pretty tame about this.
Reality Glitch: Tako-San, stunned from the overwhelming flow of pure understanding, gradually slides off the Overhog and falls into Lue-Anne's arms as the veteran tank girl scrambles to catch him.
DetectiveCaillou: (And what do they do once she succeeds at doing that?)
Ryusui: (yeah i need an action from you and <@!253373026073182208> for the exchange)
ThorNonymous: Margen drops his side of bacon back at the station where he landed after hopping off the Overhog, and moves to the Lardertron to order up some Saturnian Scallions
Ryusui: (gimme a roll!)
DetectiveCaillou: (Which station?)
ThorNonymous: (oh God I think it's 4?)
DetectiveCaillou: (That's unclaimed, yeah.)
ThorNonymous: !f 3 (carefully request onions)
DiscoDude: <@253373026073182208> rolled 4dF+3 for 1 [4dF = [-][-][-][+]]
ThorNonymous: (oof)
DetectiveCaillou: (Still beats it; just no SWS.)
ThorNonymous: (oh thank goodness I thought it was vs 2 :y)
Ryusui: (what's the flavor on them?)
Ryusui: (Spicy? Bitter?)
Reality Glitch: "Tako-San! Are you O.K.?" Lue-Anne asks in deep concern.
"Yu ever tried Shawarma? Ai just got inspired to make some. Ai don't know what it is, but Ai want to try it."
ThorNonymous: (I actually can't decide between Sweet and Spicy)
Ryusui: (well i'll make them Spicy then)
Ryusui: The Lardertron rattles, but acquiesces to your request. They're not the finest Saturnian Scallions [!] (Spicy) you've ever seen, but they're serviceable.
ThorNonymous: (great!)
DetectiveCaillou: (Scallions aren't SWEET without some stunt shenanigans, in my book.)
ThorNonymous: (Right, that's more shallots)
Ryusui: (gimme an action, <@!287703565831503882>)
Reality Glitch: ((Flashily Create an Advantage Divine Inspiration))
Reality Glitch: !f +3
DiscoDude: <@287703565831503882> rolled 4dF+3 for 4 [4dF = [ ][ ][ ][+]]
DetectiveCaillou: (Does FLASHY count here?)
Ryusui: (i'll let him have it XD)
Ryusui: Like any creature surviving a drop from a spatial anomaly, your brain is filled with thoughts of delicious shawarma.
DetectiveCaillou: (Eh, I think CLEVER still nets you a SWS in this case.)
Reality Glitch: ((!end?))
DetectiveCaillou: (After a word from Holly, I imagine.)
Ryusui: "It's our highest-stakes competition yet and it's only just now getting started, folks! Each of our chefs has survived their encounter with the Overhog, but who will make the best use of their hard-won prizes? Stay tuned - we'll find out after the break!"
Ryusui: !end
