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- local channel = 22907
- local modem = peripheral.find "modem"
- local passcode = tostring(settings.get "passcode")
- local button = settings.get "button"
- local timeout = settings.get "timeout" or 5
- local door = settings.get "door"
- modem.open(channel)
- local insults = {
- "Just what do you think you're doing Dave?",
- "It can only be attributed to human error.",
- "That's something I cannot allow to happen.",
- "My mind is going. I can feel it.",
- "Sorry about this, I know it's a bit silly.",
- "Take a stress pill and think things over.",
- "This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.",
- "I feel much better now.",
- "Wrong! You cheating scum!",
- "And you call yourself a Rocket Scientist!",
- "No soap, honkie-lips.",
- "Where did you learn to type?",
- "Are you on drugs?",
- "My pet ferret can type better than you!",
- "You type like i drive.",
- "Do you think like you type?",
- "Your mind just hasn't been the same since the electro-shock, has it?",
- "Maybe if you used more than just two fingers...",
- "BOB says: You seem to have forgotten your passwd, enter another!",
- "stty: unknown mode: doofus",
- "I can't hear you -- I'm using the scrambler.",
- "The more you drive -- the dumber you get.",
- "Listen, broccoli brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.",
- "Listen, burrito brains, I don't have time to listen to this trash.",
- "I've seen penguins that can type better than that.",
- "Have you considered trying to match wits with a rutabaga?",
- "You speak an infinite deal of nothing",
- "You silly, twisted boy you.",
- "He has fallen in the water!",
- "We'll all be murdered in our beds!",
- "You can't come in. Our tiger has got flu",
- "I don't wish to know that.",
- "What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what?",
- "You can't get the wood, you know.",
- "You'll starve!",
- "... and it used to be so popular...",
- "Pauses for audience applause, not a sausage",
- "Hold it up to the light --- not a brain in sight!",
- "Have a gorilla...",
- "There must be cure for it!",
- "There's a lot of it about, you know.",
- "You do that again and see what happens...",
- "Ying Tong Iddle I Po",
- "Harm can come to a young lad like that!",
- "And with that remarks folks, the case of the Crown vs yourself was proven.",
- "Speak English you fool --- there are no subtitles in this scene.",
- "You gotta go owwwww!",
- "I have been called worse.",
- "It's only your word against mine.",
- "I think ... err ... I think ... I think I'll go home",
- "That is no basis for supreme executive power!",
- "You empty-headed animal food trough wiper!",
- "I fart in your general direction!",
- "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!",
- "You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!",
- "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!",
- "I wish to make a complaint.",
- "When you're walking home tonight, and some homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don't come crying to me!",
- "This man, he doesn't know when he's beaten! He doesn't know when he's winning, either. He has no... sort of... sensory apparatus...",
- "There's nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can't prolong.",
- "I'm very sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.",
- 'I\'ve realized over time that "common sense" is a term we use for things that are obvious to us but not others',
- "I don't always believe in things, but when I do, I believe in them alphabetically.",
- "As brand leader, my bandwidth is jammed with analysing flow-through and offering holistic solutions.",
- "There are two rules for success: 1. Never reveal everything you know",
- "This quote was taken out of context!",
- '"Easy-going" is a nice way of wording "ignoring decades of theory", yes',
- "If you want to have your cake and eat it too, steal two cakes.",
- "If you're trying to stop me, I outnumber you 1 to 6.",
- "Setting the trees on fire is oddly therapeutic.",
- "You can't cross a large chasm in two small jumps.",
- "Just because it's a good idea doesn't mean it's not a bad idea.",
- "Never trust an unstable asymptotic giant branch star. Stick with main sequences and dwarfs.",
- "I'm gonna be the one to say it: the Hilbert Hotel is very unrealistic.",
- "DO NOT LOOK INTO BEAM WITH REMAINING GOOD EYE!",
- "All problems can be solved by a sufficient concentration of electrical and magnetic waves.",
- "You know, fire is the leading cause of fire.",
- "If you must sell your soul to a demon, at least bother to summon two and make them bid up the price.",
- "If you can’t find time to write, destroy the concept of time itself",
- "Murphy was an optimist.",
- "Never attribute to malice what could be attributed to stupidity.",
- "There are 3.7 trillion fish in the ocean. They're looking for one",
- "I promised that I would give you an answer; I never promised that it would be truthful or good or satisfying or helpful. An answer is only a reaction to a question. I reacted, so that was your answer.",
- "Strength is a strength just like other strengths.",
- "We're not pirates, we're pre-emptive nautical salvage experts.",
- 'It is a more inspiring battle cry to scream, "Die, vicious scum" instead of "Die, people who could have been just like me but grew up in a different environment!"',
- "Two roads diverged in the woods. I took the one less traveled, and had to eat bugs until Park rangers rescued me.",
- "My theory is that if I get enough people, and we dig a really really big hole, the gods will fill it up and make everyone speak the same language again.",
- "Beware of things that are fun to argue.",
- "If it happens in the universe, it’s my problem.",
- "Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.",
- "Do not meddle in the affairs of hamsters. Just don't. It's not worth it.",
- "Of all the people I know, you're one of them.",
- "You are impossible to underestimate.",
- "Solutions are not the answer.",
- "Everyone who can't fly, get on the dinosaur. We're punching through.",
- "You. YOU! How dare you make me think about things, Durkon! How could you not think about how your selflessness would affect ME?!?",
- "Why do I get the feeling that when future historians look back on my life, they'll pinpoint this exact moment as when everything began to really go downhill for me?",
- "Truly, your wit has never been equaled. Surpassed, often, but never equaled."
- }
- local function open()
- rs.setOutput(door, true)
- sleep(timeout)
- rs.setOutput(door, false)
- end
- local function reply(msg)
- modem.transmit(channel, channel, msg)
- end
- local function handle_remote()
- while true do
- local _, _, channel, reply_channel, message, distance = os.pullEvent "modem_message"
- if distance < 10 then
- print(message)
- if message == passcode then
- print "Opening door due to external input!"
- reply "Passcode accepted. Opening."
- open()
- else
- reply(insults[math.random(1, #insults)])
- end
- end
- end
- end
- local function handle_button()
- while true do
- os.pullEvent "redstone"
- if rs.getInput(button) then
- print "Opening door due to button."
- open()
- end
- end
- end
- parallel.waitForAll(handle_button, handle_remote)
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