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- “You're right,” said Colon. “The thing about the captain, see, I read this book once . . . you know we've all got alcohol in our bodies . . . sort of natural alcohol? Even if you never touch a drop in your life, your body sort of makes it anyway ... but Captain Vimes, see, he's one of those people whose body doesn't do it naturally. Like, he was born two drinks below normal.”
- “Gosh,” said Carrot.
- “Yes ... so, when he's sober, he's really sober. Knurd, they call it. You know how you feel when you wake up if you've been on the piss all night, Nobby? Well, he feels like that all the time. ”
- “Poor bugger,” said Nobby. “I never realised. No wonder he's always so gloomy.”
- “So he's always trying to catch up, see. It's just that he doesn't always get the dose right. And, of course-” Colon glanced at Carrot- "he was brung low by a woman. Mind you, just about anything brings him low."
- ***
- Guards Guards - p266
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