Stoner Movie Pitch by PateraOctopus

Alright, jerkfaces, time for a real man to enter this movie pitching game.

The film starts by establishing that the Pope is dying and it's only a matter of time before he passes on to the great pulpit in the sky. So our two heroes, who have heard of the fabled Stash of Saladin in the Vatican archives, trek to the Vatican knowing that everyone will be distracted preparing for the upcoming papal selection, and they plan to try to steal the weed. Hilarity ensues as they stumble through set piece after set piece, including the aforementioned communion-wafer munchies, a scene in which they hide a joint in what turns out to be a ceremonial censer and get an entire congregation a contact high, and I dunno, a scene where they need to fill a bong with holy water or something.

The climax comes when they're caught and pursued through the city by the Swiss Guard, and through a series of mishaps end up in the Room of Tears and disguise themselves in robes that they find there. They finally end up smoking their shit but get caught halfway through and run away, but since it's very special ancient weed the smoke ends up billowing white, so the group assembled in St. Peter's Square think a new Pope has been elected, and somehow the two end up on the balcony and everyone mistakes them for the Cardinal Protodeacon and the new Pope, so one of them has to give a speech (in a nod to The Great Dictator) and he ends up making a plea that everyone chill and be more real to each other and shit. And the speech goes over really well and everyone cheers and then we do a voice over by one of the guys saying that while he didn't actually become Pope everyone loved his speech so much that they were both given pardons by the real new Pope and they got the girls (earlier we will have established that they stirred some decidedly unchaste feelings in two young ladies who hadn't yet taken their final vows). Then after the credits we have a scene in which the new Pope goes down into the archive himself, locks the door behind him and takes a big hit off of Saladin's Stash and says "Ahhh...stercus bonus!" THE END

We call the film "The Most High," give it a tagline like "The dope is infallible" and release the fucker at Easter 2012. You're all welcome.