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- Chapter 1:1 - The Need for Alternative Theories , page 4
- For further evidence of the true cause of gravity—that we are being
- pushed down by His Noodly Appendages—we need only look at our historical records. The average height of humans two thousand years ago
- was about five feet three inches for males, compared with an average
- height of around five feet ten inches for males today. Useless by itself,
- this information becomes quite important when viewed in terms of
- worldwide population. Humans, apparently obsessed with fucking, have
- increased their numbers exponentially over the years. We find, counterintuitively, that a small population correlates with shorter humans,
- and a larger population correlates with taller humans. 2
- This only
- makes sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity. With more people on
- earth today, there are fewer Noodly Appendages to go around, so we
- each receive less touching—pushing down toward the earth—and thus,
- with less force downward, we're taller
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