fish

Give a luser a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a luser to fish and he'll bug you for life:

"My bait's not working, but I haven't changed anything!"
"The river's gone down. Fix it!"
"Why is the net so slow today?"
-- Malcolm Ray

"I keep on getting my line caught on myself - why is it so hard to fish ?"
"Can I surf the river ?"
"I fell in the river and now I'm all wet - fix things so that I don't get wet when I fall in"
"Why can't the fish just jump out of the river into my frying pan ? It would make fishing so much easier"
"What is a fish ?"
"I can't fish" (which could be anything from not having a fishing rod to using a brick for bait).
-- Simes

Light a fire for a luser and he'll be warm for a night; set a luser on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
-- fun

Give a man dynamite and soon the village will be showered with mud and rocks and unrecognisable bits of fish.
-- Peter Gutmann