Hogfather - Pony

In the Grotto of the Hogfather, a round-eyed child.

HAPPY HOGSWATCH. HO. HO. HO. AND YOUR NAME IS ... EUPHRASIA COAT, CORRECT?

'Go on, dear, answer the nice man.'

‘ ‘s.’

AND YOU ARE SIX YEARS OLD.

'Go on, dear. They're all the same at this age, aren't they . . .’

‘ ‘s.’

AND YOU WANT A PONY '

's.'

A small hand pulled the Hogfather's hood down to mouth level. Heavy Uncle Albert heard a ferocious whispering. Then the Hogfather leaned back.

YES, I KNOW. WHAT A NAUGHTY PIG IT WAS, INDEED.

His shape flickered for a moment, and then a hand went into the sack.

HERE IS A BRIDLE FOR YOUR PONY, AND A SADDLE, AND A RATHER STRANGE HARD HAT AND A PAIR OF THOSE TROUSERS THAT MAKE YOU LOOK AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A LARGE RABBIT IN EACH POCKET.

'But we can't have a pony, can we, Euffie, because we live on the third floor . . .’

OH, YES. IT'S IN THE KITCHEN.

'I'm sure you're making a little joke, Hogfather,' said Mother, sharply.

HO. HO. YES. WHAT A JOLLY FAT MAN I AM. IN THE KITCHEN? WHAT A JOKE. DOLLIES AND SO ON WILL BE DELIVERED LATER AS PER YOUR LETTER.

'What do you say, Euffie?'

‘ ' nk you.'

''ere, you didn't really put a pony in their kitchen, did you?' said Heavy Uncle Albert as the line moved on.

DON'T BE FOOLISH, ALBERT. I SAID THAT TO BE JOLLY.

'Oh, right. Hah, for a minute--'

IT'S IN THE BEDROOM.

'Ah . . .'

MORE HYGIENIC.

'Well, it'll make sure of one thing,' said Albert. 'Third floor? They're going to believe all right.'

YES. YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS. HO. HO. HO.

***

HOgfather - p132-133