gamdave <3<

[14:22] TC: *It took him about half a second before he was looming over the other, pressing him against the wall.* no you're not.
[14:25] TG: *He was so not ready for that shit, but he didn't really make a sound of surprise. He struggled, though. And gagged.* oh christ it smells even worse over here let me the fuck go
[01:01] TC: No way. No way was Gamzee letting go of him, not now. He lifted his head upward - though he doubted Dave could see it in the dark, and pushed the blonde boy back up against the wall, rougher than he had before. "No. NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY." He was leaning down, his lips brushing against the other's jaw, nipping and licking at the skin.
[01:08] TG: He could feel his heart racing. He hadn't been scared before, but having some psychotic alien all up in your fucking business was enough to unseat the coolkid. "What the ever-loving shit," he coughed, struggling to get away. "Godshit it reeks in here and what the fuck are you /doing/??" This was bizarre. More exciting than anything else that'd happened this entire goddamn year, but this was definitely not what Dave ever had in mind filed under 'cool shit to do stuck on a meteor with a bunch of crackpots'.
[01:15] TC: Exciting? Most definitely. Dangerous? Also definitely. Gamzee's hands were covered in something - and what the substance was, remained unclear - but the fact that it smelled metallic, the fact that it was so sticky and the fact that it was so thick and trying and caking on his fingers - kind of gave it away. He was getting a little more sloppy and forceful with his kisses, sucking along the Strider's jugular vein. His sharp teeth just barely poked out, scraping at the skin. "Shut up. ENJOY IT." He was smearing that substance all over the other's cheeks, and shoving the human into the wall again. He was getting more and more forceful.
[01:25] TG: Oh, christ. Dave felt like he was going to suffocate. The smell was surrounding him, especially with how Gamzee was rubbing it all over his fucking face. Shit. Shit. Enjoy it?? He felt himself shudder,mind racing. He considered calling for help, but remembered just how long it had taken him to get here. No one would hear him. Fuck. "I really don't fucking understand your stupid culture. So excuse me, princess, if I'm /acting out/ a bit. Jesus fuck." Still struggling, he'd resorted to attempting to shove the other away. This was way too fucking weird and Dave was not going to have any of it, thank you very much.
[01:30] TC: Oh, but he was. Dave was going to sit there, and he was going to deal with it - because Gamzee wasn't going to let him go. There was no possible way that he was going to let his newest.. No, no. Don't think that way. He wanted that candy blood running through his fingers, wanted that sweet strawberry jam color on his walls, but he promised. Karkat would hate him. He wouldn't let him go, though. There was no way. He leant forward, and bit down on Dave's neck - just soft enough to keep the blood away, but hard enough to hurt. He shoved the human against the wall - their chests flush together, and his sticky hands ran through the blonde locks. "Fucking, is fucking, isn't it?"
[01:39] TG: "Fuck - ow!" The bite /had/ hurt, and now that their chests were together like that, the only place he could try and shove the troll away from was his shoulders. And - "What the hell are you even asking? This shit ain't kosher, bro. Let me go." Thrashing his head a bit at the hands in his hair, he definitely did not appreciate the fucker getting that disgusting blood shit in his gorgeous golden mop of hair. "Seriously. Let me the fuck go." Tone was as even as he could keep it. But shit, he was very quickly losing his cool. Wh-what had he said about black romances? Why the hell didn't he listen to Karkat explaining them more? He was way too focused on making the stupid troll draw dicks all over Rose's book. As funny as it had been - which was fucking hilarious by the way - he really should have been paying more attention. Fuck.
[01:49] TC: "I. AIN'T. Asking." He snarled, taking the Strider by the wrists, digging his nails into the skin, not even caring if he punctured it anymore. His knee snaked between the blonde's legs, and - without warning, he dug his teeth in farther. His hands shoved the Strider's above his head - and he was pressing his hips against the other's in a matter of minutes, smiling against his neck, as the blood covered his already stained lips. He hadn't broken much skin - just enough to get that sweet color out of his skin, just enough to really taste that human blood. That mutant blood that he so often wished that he could get from his moirail. That was a long stretch, though. Long, long stretch, and Dave? He hated Dave. He hated Dave in the blackest way he possibly could. "GET USED TO IT. Got a motherfucking problem, Strider? FIGHT ME. I ain't letting you go." He was back to giving him sloppy kisses along his neck, trailing up to the lobe of his ear.
[01:59] TG: "Ah! Shit, cut it out, man!" The nails hurt, and the way that knee came between his legs made him feel weak on his feet. A strangled noise of surprise and pain left him at the bite, the kid thrashing around again. Nope. Noope. Nope. This wasn't a thing. This wasn't fucking happening because Dave said it wasn't happening. Asking for what? What the fuck was he talking about?? Stretched out like that he felt incredibly vulnerable; moreso than he was simply pinned like that. "Th-this isn't fair, fucker," he growled, turning his head to try and deter the attention the troll was giving his neck. "Big man, telling a kid to fight you when you've got him fucking cornered." Either puberty was hitting the 14 year-old late, or his voice cracked because he was actually starting to get scared.
[02:10] TC: "You scared yet?" He murmured it against the human's ear - his tongue coming out to dart out along the lobe, taking the skin between his lips and suckling at the skin. His hold on Dave's wrists only tightened, bruising them, ignoring the protests from the boy pinned against him. He laughed, though - Dave's comments were almost desperate, at least - the way Gamzee heard them. He heard the slight panic in his voice, he heard every little sound he made and he just /knew/ that he was going to make this boy regret it. "Big man? YOU KIDDING?" Gamzee was either little older or little younger than Dave himself, and he found it so.. Ridiculously funny at the time, that he couldn't contain the laughter that was escaping him. He let go of Dave's wrists, bringing one hand to the wall, the other to a switch - located not too far from the human, on the right side. "Thought you was a big tough guy, huh?"
[02:18] TG: Dave shivered again, shaking his head and putting on his best 'cool kid' façade. Nope. Not scared. He felt his fingers twitch as the grip tightened, his wrists aching and he wanted so badly to punch Gamzee and just run but he was so fucked. Soooo fucking fucked and it was awful; there was nothing fucking FUNNY about this goddamn situation and he just wished he had stayed put, between Kanaya and Rose and their sordid interplanetary love affair thing whateverthefuck. He would have even jammed around a bit with the mayor. He felt like he was so ready to deck the troll, so ready to get the fuck out, but when his wrists were released he felt paralyzed. "I am a f-fucking tough guy," he spat back, but the fucking stutter kinda messed that up for him. Why was he let go? Should he run for it? Eyes darted to the glow of the open door, debating.
[02:33] TC: Then, he flipped the lights on. Within seconds of turning it on - his hands were back on Dave's wrists, digging in tightly to the flesh and grinding his hips against the human's. The sight that greeted them when the light was turned on - it wasn't pleasant. At all. There were heads - Equius', Tavros', Nepeta's, Vriska's, Sollux's - bodies, mingled around, set up on some sort of display - aside from one or two that'd fallen, Equius' head lying down on the floor and Vriska's set up next to Tavros', in a mocking, bitter display of his and her relationship. Gamzee often wished he was the one to kill her, and sometimes - he found himself wanting to kill Terezi, too. He couldn't do that, though. No, no. He couldn't do that. There was blood staining the floor, staining his hands, and staining /him/, and he looked gangly, as if he should've been weaker - his skin paler, compared to other trolls. Yet, he still had his strength. He still looked like he could rip off your head if he wanted to - and, chances were, he really, really wanted to. "Don't look so motherfuckin tough to me."
[02:45] TG: Oh, god. If there had ever been a moment in Dave's life when he wanted to puke it was right now, and he felt himself trying to suppress a gag as his eyes raked across the room, terror easily masked by his shades. The pain and nausea dizzied him, and he felt his knees weaken. "Fuck bro let me go," he groaned, his stomach churning. "What the fuck ever, you win, just - I'm gonna fucking barf." That coffee was definitely not going to taste the same coming up as it did going down. And it had already tasted pretty shitty. Somehow the smell had seemed to amplify tenthfold now that he could see where it was coming from, and it stung his nose so bad he could - "God, seriously, I'll fucking puke on you. Let me the shitting fuck go." The pants-wetting terror that this stupid son of a bitch had done this was digging its talons into the back of his head, and wasn't pacifying his stomach one bit.
[02:45] TG: Oh, god. If there had ever been a moment in Dave's life when he wanted to puke it was right now, and he felt himself trying to suppress a gag as his eyes raked across the room, terror easily masked by his shades. The pain and nausea dizzied him, and he felt his knees weaken. "Fuck bro let me go," he groaned, his stomach churning. "What the fuck ever, you win, just - I'm gonna fucking barf." That coffee was definitely not going to taste the same coming up as it did going down. And it had already tasted pretty shitty. Somehow the smell had seemed to amplify tenthfold now that he could see where it was coming from, and it stung his nose so bad he could - "God, seriously, I'll fucking puke on you. Let me the shitting fuck go." The pants-wetting terror that this stupid son of a bitch had done this was digging its talons into the back of his head, and wasn't pacifying his stomach one bit.
[23:08] TC: "You gonna lose it, brother? LOSE YOUR FUCKING LUNCH? I don't give a motherfuck." The Capricorn backed up a bit, giving the blonde boy a bit of space, a smile plastered onto his features and his half-lidded eyes flashing with some sort of mixture of hate, lust, and deviance. Kismesis - if Dave didn't know the word before, if he didn't truly KNOW it before, he would know it now. His teeth poked -->
[23:10] TC: over his lip, and he cocked his head up in a display of arrogance. "You like my motherfucking works of art, huh? MOTHERFUCKING BEAUTIFUL, LOOK AT ALL THESE COLORS." Then, he was leaning down, hovering over the head of a boy with bull horns - who, Dave should recognize as Tavros, and slipping a finger between his still lips. "This one's my favorite, brother. TOO BAD I MADE A PROMISE, HUH? -->
[23:10] TC: I'd love to add you to my collection."
[23:42] TG: Finally let go of he doubled over, falling to his hands and knees and wretching. "G-god no," he croaked in response. Fuck, the coffee /did/ taste worse coming up than it did going down. Not to mention he hadn't really had much to eat lately, so those three cups were all he had in him to... quickly... puke up. He finished just at the last comment, dizziness nearly making him fall the fuck over. But he managed to sit and slouch back against the wall, face flushed and the kid breathing heavily. He stared up at the troll with that defiant look - though it was hindered considerably by the... uh. Well. He had kinda puked on himself a little, the brown substance running down his chin and onto the front of his god-tier outfit. He swallowed shakily. "Y-you're fucked up, bro," he groaned, head pounding from the exertion. "My head's too good-looking to be in this dump, anyway."
[23:54] TC: Gamzee's smile turned into a frown, and fast. So, what. Dave didn't like his littlke masterpiece? Gamzee sure liked it. It was just the best miracle he ever made, and he wanted Dave to see that. He would, too - he'd see it, alright. He lurched forward, slamming Dave's shoulders against the wall, and wrapping one leg on either side of his waist, sitting on the human's legs and leaning close to -->
[23:57] TC: his face. "You motherfuckin reak." He muttered it, his sneer evident - and his nails were digging into the blonde's shoulders. He jerked the other up against the wall again, his hips dangerously close to Dave's and his eyes narrowed and dark - a color they hadn't been for quite a while. About a year, in fact - a dark orange, a threatening color. "You don't like my masterpiece, then? -->
[23:58] TC: IT'S BEAUTIFUL. It's a miracle. THE MOTHERFUCKING COLORS THAT RAN THROUGH MY FINGERS WAS THE BEST THING I EVER FELT. Can't do it no more, though, no, I can't do it no more. Can't be spillin blood, Karbro don't want that." He was leaning close again, the smile back on his face. "But he don't like you."
[00:22] TG: Dave let out a cry as he was slammed against the wall, head connecting with the rough surface in a slight /crack/. F-fuck, what was he - ?? "O-ow, shit - seriously stop." His head was spinning, his stomach was weak as shit, and those claws fucking hurt. And why was he sitting on him like that? Fuck. Fuck. He should have ran when he had the chance. He peered at him through his sunglasses, breathing a bit shaky still. He still felt fucking nauseas. The smell was just so overpowering and he was pretty sure if he had to he could find something else in him to throw up. And fuck what was all this shit about miracles? And why did he keep going on about Karkat? Was he like his motherfucking babysitter or something? "Karkat's a trainwreck, dude. But he ain't got no shit with me. How the fuck would you know? You're the one that left him alone."
[01:18] TC: No. That was a huge no-no. Gamzee sneered, jerking the human forward once again - and leant in close enough that he could smell the bile on his chin. "The MOTHERFUCK MAKES YOU THINK I AM GONNA STOP WHEN YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT?" Gamzee pitied Karkat. Karkat was his best friend, his moirail, and all that he had left - and he would not sit by and listen to Dave talk badly about him. -->
[01:20] TC: "I can just tell, you know? It ain't to motherfuckin' hard to see that he ain't much caring for you." It wasn't as if he NEVER saw Karkat - but.. "I should be a caring motherfucker, you know? I SHOULD ASK, I SHOULD MOTHERFUCKIN' GO ALL FORMAL, MAKE SHIT OFFICIAL. But I won't. I'm waxin' so motherfuckin' black, and I don't think I'm gonna be givin' you a choice." Well, he was completely off his -->
[01:22] TC: rocker. He rolled his hips slightly, against Dave's - and leant forward again, his lips inches from the other's - but.. Oh, gross. No. He wasn't /THAT/ crazy. "Get that shit off of you. S'motherfuckin' sick." He was smiling - and his breath was damp against Dave's lips, but he drew back - tongue darting out to swipe over his upper lip.
[01:30] TG: He narrowed his eyes again, hands suddenly gripping around Gamzee's wrists as he held onto his shoulders. He felt himself snarling at him, glaring as best he could through his shades at the crazed madman. And goddammit, who the fuck even cared about what Karkat thought of him anyway? Kid was a douche and the less Dave had to do with him the better. Fuck, weirdo could have Terezi for all he cared. He wasn't even interested in her in the way the nubby-horned, short-tempered shitstain was. They were totally platonic, partying it the fuck up with the mayor all the damn time. Uh, what? Caring? Formal? About their stupid black romance shit? What the fuck even - and then the command. Pissed him the fuck off. "I didn't know you were such a fucking romantic, bro." He spit on him then, wiping off his mouth and chin with the back of his sleeve. Smirk curled onto his face. "Good enough for you, princess?" Watch out, Gamzee. Dave might puke again at any second.
[02:40] TC: Oh, no. No way was he going to let that slide. He jerked the human back against his shoulders, for a third time, slamming him against the wall - bruising the already sore skin and snapping his teeth at the human before him. He didn't look pleased - at all. Gamzee looked more dangerous than he had, actually - his expression completely serious, his expression displaying proudly that he was -->
[02:44] TC: FURIOUS, and a low growl escaping his lips. No, Gamzee wasn't happy with this at all. He drew one hand back - and within a matter of seconds, the back of his hand making contact with the blonde's cheek. Not a moment later, his hand was on that pale jaw - his fingers digging into the skin. "Don't you EVER MOTHERFUCKING GET YOUR SPIT ON ME. You understand me?" He was mere centimeters away from -->
[02:48] TC: Dave's lips, now, his upper lip reared up and his canines exposed. "The more you motherfucking struggle with me, the less MERCIFUL we're gonna be with you." The Messiahs were calling to him, and he'd let it slip - the 'we' instead of 'I', one of the many things that Karkat had to shoosh and pap away until his palms were sore. Just like that - his lips were on the human's, forceful and -->
[02:51] TC: violent. Gamzee bit his lower lip, his hand snaking from the blonde's jaw to his neck - curling around and tighting it's hold while he kissed him so hard his lips would bruise - and the sheer fire that shot through him when he did was dark and angry, but excited - so excited. He'd lifted his hips, and they were now solidly pressed on Dave's, little jerks and rolls telling the other JUST what -->
[02:51] TC: he wanted. Dave always did bring out the worst in Gamzee.
[03:35] TG: Dave's head hit the wall again and he saw stars, a groggy groan leaving him. Fuck, he was going to be concussed if this kept happening. Oof. Especially if he struck him like that again. He blinked in a daze, shaded eyes having a bit of trouble focusing on the troll's face in front of him from all the blows to his head. His cheek burned from the backhand, and now his jaw -- Gngnhn. "Don't get within spitting range, fuckstick," he challenged, though he was feeling a lot less up to scratch than he had been before. And what the fuck? "We - mmfn!" Okay. What the actual sord-splitting cake-baking FUCK was going the shit on? He tried to jerk his head away from the painful kiss, the origin of which Dave was definitely not sure of. "Mwhut thfuck-shtwhtthefuckmmareyoudoin-" He tried to push him off, push him away - but his coordination was for shit, ->
[03:35] TG: his head hurt something fucking fierce, and /whoa/ why the fuck was this crazy son of a bitch doing /that/?? Dave really had absolutely no grasp on troll romances but this was just fucking bizarre and totally unwanted. Plus now he was fucking bleeding from the goddamn mouth. G r e a t.
[03:45] TC: Oh, he seemed a little panicked. That just made it even better. Gamzee wasn't going to stop - especially not with how much the boy was struggling and just how AMUSING it was to him. Something about it made him pretty excited - something about Dave, the boy he hated wriggling under him like some sort of pathetic victim while he TRIED to act cool (even though he could tell - it wasn't a -->
[03:47] TC: comfortable situation with Dave and that was obvious.) No, it was just perfect. He shifted - wrapping his legs around the other's waist, shoving his legs between the human's back and the wall. At this point, he was just about sitting on the Strider's bulge - (what did they call it again? He had no idea.) pinning him down, grinding and letting little - almost angry noises slip from his lips -->
[03:49] TC: against the other's. He was squeezing the human's neck, now - tighter and tighter, just waiting to listen to him choke. He wouldn't let up, either - his lips working roughly against Dave's, his tongue poking out more than once. He'd have his way.
[04:06] TG: Christ. Fuck. No. At first this seemed like something Dave could totally get out of, something that he could overcome and shove Gamzee off and be like 'whatever bro I'm outtie' and leave with a swoosh of his totally bitchin' cape and at least a shred of dignity. The second he ground against him, the instant he felt those fingers tighten on his throat, the moment that disgusting alien tongue was in his mouth - he knew that the odds were strongly fucking against him. Head pounded, kid weakly trying to shove him away still. F-fuck. Fuck. He couldn't breathe. The stars returned to his vision and he tried to desperately kick Gamzee off his lap, hand now clawing at the one around his throat. "Dmm-dude," he croaked. Not cool. Not fucking cool oh god so not cool. Gasp-cry left him, his own fingers attempting to bite into the wrist of the hand that was slowly suffocating him. Anything to get it off. Goddammitgoddammitgoddammit.... He searched feebly for one of his weapons. ->
[04:06] TG: Shit, had the captchalogue card fallen out of his sylladex? Fuck. Eyes darted around behind the tinted lenses, spotting it maybe-hopefully-not-just-out-of-his-reach. One of his shitty broken swords, but it was better than nothing. Still trying to free his throat, he reached for it.
[04:13] TC: And just like that, his hands were off of the boy's neck and on his wrists, pinning them to the wall so tightly that he was sure it'd bruise. When Dave's lips parted again - when he opened his mouth to breathe, Gamzee took the opportunity and let his tongue dip into his mouth, slipping across the roof, before pushing against the blond'es tongue, fighting for dominance in Dave's own mouth. -->
[04:17] TC: His hips rolled again, jerking forward, then rolling again - in a circular motion, counterclockwise, harder each time. He was making his current.. Situation present, for Dave. Gamzee wanted the human to KNOW what he was facing - to KNOW that, yes, Gamzee was hard, and yes, it was pressing against his stomach, and yes - Dave was responsible. He broke away from the kiss for a moment, -->
[04:19] TC: and with his upper lip still against Dave's, he murmured - breath hot and wet against his mouth. "What's the matter? Can't take it?"
[04:30] TG: He cried out again as his hands were slammed into the wall, a gasp and a 'fuc-' barely leaving him before the troll was on his mouth once more. This was retarded. This was fucking retarded. It was sick and nasty and in no way to be confused with the phrase 'sicknasty'. The kid fucking whimpered, once again trying to bend at the knees or somehow fucking shove him off. This was - un-fucking-acceptable. The grinding hurt more than it did anything to arouse him, his body shuddering with every pass. Oh fucking christ, the stupid troll was - he - he got a rise out of this?? Seriously. Fucking troll romances. How did they work. When Gamzee broke the kiss he coughed, properly able to breathe again. He took advantage of that; swallowing the dry lump in his throat along with the rest of the bile and coffee that had tried snaking its way up his pipe while the troll was all over his fucking face. Disgusting. Can't take it? Hardly. Did Dave have it in him for another sassback? ->
[04:30] TG: "What would your fuckin' bee-eff-eff aka boyfriend say if he s-saw you all up on a human like this?" Eyes narrowed behind shades. "Or would he just cry more?" He did.
[04:38] TC: Oh, no. NO. WAY. He wasn't going to have Dave talking about Karkat like that. He wasn't going to have him talking like that at all. He took a tight hold on the boy's neck again, and practically wrung it - jerking it forward towards him, smashing their lips together again before jerking it back, smacking the blonde's head against the wall. "I'LL MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU." Don't you dare talk -->
[04:40] TC: about my everything that way. Don't you DARE talk about Karkat that way - no one can treat him like that but me. No one, no one. That was the only thing running through his mind - well, that and how hard he wanted to pail Dave until there wasn't enough black in the world for them. "You mind your motherfucking tongue, bitch, or I'll have you on your back in ten motherfucking seconds flat, -->
[04:44] TC: and let me tell you, shitblood - I ain't gentle." He let go of one of Dave's wrists, letting his hand trail down the human's side - slipping up his god-tier shirt and scraping his nails down those ribs, coaxing candy red spots of blood up on his skin. "YOU KEEP TALKIN' BACK, AND THAT'S JUST TELLING ME HOW MUCH YOU WANT IT. You're practically. BEGGING FOR IT."
[22:25] TG: "O-oh..." Dave whimpered dazedly as his head collided with the wall yet again, the stars far more prevalent and a small peek of black creeping into his vision. If it wasn't for his hair, too, he'd feel that that last slam had broken the skin, and he was bleeding from the back of his head. He also couldn't breathe again. Shit, that was cool right? He coughed - rather, spluttered was a more apt term - and blood dribbled from his mouth, Dave having bitten his tongue in the last slam-session with the wall behind him. Not to mention when Gamzee had bitten his lip. Good times. Hands immediately flew to the troll's choking hand, nails digging in as much as they could to try and get it off yet again. "B-bring it," he choked, that coolkid attitude absolutely refusing to quit. But oh christ, he was nauseas. He couldn't see very well and was dizzy and if Gamzee hadn't been so absorbed he would have noticed the kid fucking shaking. ->
[22:25] TG: Fucking Dave Strider had a motherfucking concussion. Struggled cry left him as the claws raked down his side, kid trying desperately to bend away from it, shove him off, do /something/ - his heart was racing. And he was terrified.
[22:42] TC: He was pulling the shirt over Dave's head - practically ripping it off, actually, and it tore in a few places. When it was pulled off - the shade's were knocked askew from the Strider's face, and Gamzee was looming over him, the sneer evident on his face and the caked blood on his shirt hanging in the 'coolkid's face. The Capricorn was rough - taking the blonde by the hair and shoving him down -->
[22:50] TC: onto the floor, scooting up on his now bare stomach, his backside pressed against the blonde's hips, and he wouldn't stop rolling, his smile wide on his face as he jerked his hips a little faster against the Strider, leaning down low and pressing his lips back to his. No, there wasn't any rush like this. Any rush like the feeling of hating someone so much, and grinding into them, feeling their -->
[22:51] TC: skin against you, their heat against your groin and the urge to flat out fucking SLAUGHTER them rising in your gut, but you can't. You know you can't, and that just gives you more fire. Gamzee had shoved Dave straight into a pile of blood - and he noticed the mingling candy red with the other colors, leaking from the back of the human's head. He'd dipped his finger in it, bringing it to his -->
[22:54] TC: lower lip, smearing the color across his skin, first, then Dave's - trailing it across his jugular and neck. Paint that motherfucker, paint him all the colors of the rainbow and make him gag with the overwhelming smell of stale, drying blood. "What's the matter, you all motherfuckin' talk? You got all the bark, but no bite."
[23:03] TG: It was hard to him to really focus on one thing or another, especially with the whirl of colour from his shirt being torn off. Cape discarded too - glasses as well, shit - and he was... ope, on his back now, head pounding, vision sliding in and out of focus. He stared up at him stupidly, those odd red eyes of him a bit glassy from the trauma. He groaned again as Gamzee ground against him shaking his head and trying once again to buck him off. "No... Cut it the f...fuck out..." But his words were weak; head full of the smell of the blood and the decay and other smells he really didn't want to think about. "Fuck... off..." Hand gripped at the one that was smearing the blood on himself, once more trying to dig nails into skin. The injuries to his head were really, really counting against him. "Easy to say for someone that's got a kid fucking pinned to the floor." How the fuck could Dave fight back like this? In his condition? "Pathetic, man." But he felt pathetic, too, ready to barf again with how close he was to the awful fucking stench.
[23:15] TC: Gamzee was down, pinning his throat against the ground in a second, his hips giving another jerk and his free hand prying off the human's from his wrist, digging his claws into the skin and ripping as he pulled. He let go of the wrist, pressing down on his neck again - thumb and forefinger digging into each jugular vein and his claw just barely, gently pressing into the skin there. With one -->
[23:18] TC: palm, he reached behind him - kneading between the Strider's legs, cupping the area there and practically grabbing at it - because he wanted to make Dave feel it too. He was GOING to make Dave feel it too - he was going to make the blonde either cry with pain or pant with pleasure. Maybe both. All he knew - was that he was going to humiliate him, he was going to make the boy go back to the -->
[23:23] TC: others without a shred of dignity left. "No motherfucking way. YOU FEELING IT? You feeling that wicked motherfucking black coursing through your veins? YOU WANNA KILL ME, DON'T YOU? But you can't, you weak-ass motherfucker." His tongue darted out and licked the blood clean from his lips, his half-hard arousal pressed up against the human's stomach. "There ain't a damn thing you can do, -->
[23:26] TC: there ain't a damn thing you can motherfuckin' do, because you're weak. IF YOU WASN'T WEAK, YOU WOULDN'T BE PINNED TO THE MOTHERFUCKING FLOOR, WOULD YOU? I got the upperhand, because you can't fight back against a clown. THAT. Is pathetic."
[23:52] TG: A small squeak of air left him as he was strangled again, his wrist burning and bleeding. Other hand tried to claw the fingers pressing into his throat again off, Dave gritting his teeth and glaring at him the best he could. Fuck. Oh fuck no where was tha - "Ff-ffuck, stop--" Godshitdammitfuckno. Hips bucked weakly again, Dave trying to roll over or do something to get Gamzee off him. Fuck, fuck. He could feel it, okay? He could feel the hand all up in his motherfucking business, the hand slowly stopping the air from getting into his lungs. But no, he couldn't do anything. Right now he was very helpless and he was starting to realize it more and more. His vision was clouding over worse, now, the black creeping further and further into his vision. He had to do something. Gamzee was going to fucking kill him and then do god knows what with his perfect fucking body. Shitshitshitwhatshouldhedowhatshouldhedo --  -->
[23:52] TG: ...he spat on him again. That's what happened. He may have been weak, but he would always be defiant. Red eyes were half closed in a smug sort-of way, regardless of how quickly he was losing consciousness. He'd go out with a fucking /bang/.
[00:05] TC: Oh, so he was doing THAT again? No way. Gamzee snarled, pressing his claws down - breaking a little bit of skin before inching forward, removing the hand from the blonde's groin, his rear pressed against the human's chest - his length pressing against Dave's collarbone. He was hard, by now - he was breathing roughly and pressing himself against Dave, and he was rocking his hips again, -->
[00:08] TC: letting go of his neck to take hold of those blonde locks, forcing his lips to press against Gamzee's length. No, he wasn't going to be gentle. Not by any means - not when the human was rebelling so stupidly, not when he was acting like such a pompous asshole when his dignity was clearly in danger. It just riled him up. It made Gamzee so angry, it made his blood boil and it made him filled -->
[00:10] TC: with the blackest of black that he'd ever felt, like there was pitch black running through his veins. He was sure that his eyes were dark orange again, and he'd been scratching at Dave's scalp as he tugged his pants down - freeing his bone bulge and pressing the bare skin against Dave's lips. He was unrelentless, tugging every time the human would struggle, fire coursing through his veins and -->
[00:12] TC: the smile back on his lips, his hips rolling a little bit and the small amount of indigo tinted liquid that had began to wet the tip of his length from his excitement smearing across the Strider's lip. "You motherfucking suck it. You bite, and you'll wish you was never hatched." He really had no idea how humans worked.
[00:33] TG: Crying out as much as he could from the puncture to his neck, he thrashed again - as much as it hurt his head, this hurt much worse. "G-get.... off....." he croaked, taking in a huge gasp of air once his neck was freed. Augh fuck - no, he wasn't -- ! "F-fuck no." Dave Strider was not going to get his groove on with no weird alien dick, no sir. On his list of weird fucking things he'd done this was not going to be included whatsoever. It could not. It would not. Dave was not going to do it. "Suck it yourself, fucker." Mouth clamped shut in a snarl, glaring up at the troll with those red eyes of his. Deep breaths were taken through his nose and clenched teeth, hands gripping as tightly as they possibly could into Gamzee's knees. This was not a thing that was going to happen.
[00:49] TC: Fine, then. If he was going to play hard to get. Gamzee withdrew for a moment, taking hold of the Strider's nose with one hand - pinching it shut, tightly, roughly, and the other hand coming to take hold of his own length. He squeezed himself slightly - humming contentedly as he waited for the human to open his lips. There wasn't any other way to breathe, with his mouth shut, now, -->
[00:51] TC: was there? He nudged his length up against Dave's lips again, smearing more of that slightly tinted fluid against his lower lip. "Your motherfucking job, not mine, you understand me?" He pulled Dave's lip down, just barely - nudging the head of his bulge against the teenager's teeth. He groaned a little bit at the feeling of the warm lips and teeth against his skin. "Open up, motherfucker. -->
[00:52] TC: Take it like the good little bitch that you've got such the motherfucking potential to be."
[01:04] TG: God dammit. God. Shitfucking. Dammit. He debated with himself on just letting his brain click off and he could pass the fuck out - at least then he wouldn't have any idea what was happening to him. But the looming fear that the troll might /actually/ kill him while he was down for the count was very real in his head, and so it was with much, much internal debating that he choked, sputtered, and gasped; mouth finally opening. He shuddered as he felt Gamzee rub his alien dick on his lips, swallowing shakily and nearly gagging on the taste of blood. Seriously. No more blood. Please, god. Cheeks were nearly as dark as his discarded cape, and he closed his eyes - trying to force himself to imagine he was totally somewhere else. His concussed head made it really easy to do this, actually. He could almost forget the smell, he could almost forget the hot weight on his chest, and he could almost forget the trolldick that was begging entrance into his mouth. This totally wasn't happening. What a fucked-up dream.
[01:08] TC: But it was happening. Gamzee made sure that Dave would know that - and when he pushed his length into the human's mouth, he let out a loud groan - the feel of that hot tongue against his dick made him shudder. It was different - it was different from the feel of a troll, yet strikingly similar - and he found that he wanted more of it, that he wanted to feel that human mouth enclose around him -->
[01:09] TC: and he wanted to feel Dave GAG on it - he wanted to feel every bit of the human around him. It made him tremble a little bit, his hips rolling around on Dave's chest, though he was pretty much sitting on his collarbone now. He slid farther inside the blonde's mouth, slipping past his lips and taking hold of his hair with the hand that'd plugged his nose - letting go of him for a brief second, -->
[01:11] TC: only to take hold of his light tuffs of hair. He jerked Dave's head forward, and the head of his length hit the back of his throat. Oh, he'd make Dave feel it. His length twitched inside the human's warm mouth - and he'd already began to jerk his hips forward a little, holding Dave's head and forcing him to bob with every small thrust that he gave. No, Dave wasn't getting out of this, he -->
[01:11] TC: wasn't going to just tune out, he wasn't going to pretend it didn't exist - he was going to be RIGHT THERE, and Gamzee wasn't going to let up until the boy under him was broken.
[01:30] TG: He shuddered again; he shuddered and winced and fucking whimpered. His tongue hit the alien's cock and he DID gag; but just from the utter disgust he felt at himself. "Ggng," he groaned, but in his head it sounded a lot more like 'fuckfuckfuckFUCKYOU'. G-god dammit. He gagged again, nearly throwing up again at the contact so far back. And it didn't let up. Godfuckdammit his head hurt, and the hand tight in his hair made the gash on the back of his skull burn. Okay, okay fuck. He was there. He was there and it hurt, everything hurt; tears were forming in the corners of his tightly-closed eyes, fingers tightening and loosening their grip on Gamzee's knees. He wanted to do more. He wanted to hit him, he wanted to bite him, he wanted to do anything he could to make him stop. He gagged again, his throat on fire - the thought of Gamzee just killing him right then and there possibly one of the more blissful images to float into his head since he'd gotten here.
[01:50] TC: Gamzee wouldn't kill him, though. No, he was going to make the human suffer through everything that he put him through - he was going to make the pink  bananabeast wish he hadn't come to see him, he was going to make him cry and he was going to make him wish that he'd never said ONE word about his Karkat like that. Never, EVER. He snarled at the thought, his hips giving another rough jerk -->
[01:52] TC: inside his mouth. He pressed himself as far inside as he could without making Dave gag too much, his legs spread around his chest and his hips rolling again. "Don't just sit there. DO SOMETHING WITH IT." He let out a noise of irritation, this time going farther - nearly to the hilt of his length this time. He was pushing past Dave's limits, and he knew it - but he didn't care. Either Dave had -->
[01:53] TC: to learn to do some fancy work and fast, or he was going to be about ten times as relentless as he was being now.
[02:00] TG: Whimpering once more, he finally opened his eyes to deliver what he hoped was a death glare to Gamzee. 'i can't do fucking shit if you don't motherfucking slow the shit down, you douchebag'. Not that he wanted to, fuck no. He wanted this to be over with as quick as possible, and the sooner he obliged the sooner it would be. Eyes snapped closed as he pushed in the second time, another gag making his eyes hurt and his face burn redder. The dick in his throat combined with the weight of Gamzee on his chest was making it really fucking hard to breathe and definitely hard to concentrate and even /harder/ to not black out, but he tried - mouth closing around his cock ((though this compounded his breathing considerably)) and his tongue doing... whatever the fuck it was doing, shit, he didn't fucking know. No homo, remember? Dave had never actually sucked a dick before and not even in an ironic sense had he imagined doing so.
[02:07] TC: Yet, he enjoyed it. He rolled his hips again, groaning slightly - letting his guard down for just a little bit, his hands coming to rest on Dave's hips as he rocked himself forward, his thighs spread and quivering a little bit with each jerk. That hot, wet mouth was doing wonders for him - the feeling of someone you HATE sucking you off was overwhelming and threw him into some sort of high he -->
[02:10] TC: hadn't known before. He groaned, his toes curling and his legs tightening their hold on the human's torso. It still, was a very sloppy blowjob. Gamzee noticed that about it, too - the fact that Dave's tongue was uncoordinated was a definite turn-on, yet at the same time, it sort of made him angry. It was like he wasn't even trying. Licking a bulge wasn't that hard - at least he'd assume so, -->
[02:12] TC: he'd seen his fair share of .. well, porn, back when he was online all the time. He let his knee slam down on Dave's arm, and he glowered down at him, though that stubborn, mocking smile was still plastered onto his expression. "You're shit at this. CAN'T EVEN GET UP A RHYTHM."
[02:21] TG: He let out a painful howl as the knee collided with his arm and the floor, the pain so sudden and intense he found himself very quickly wondering if the troll had broken it. Amongst everything it painted more blackness in his eyes, more stars dancing behind his eyelids. Tears of pain slid down his cheeks and onto the floor, into his bloodied hair and it pissed him off so bad that he was crying but this shit was ridic. Fingers flexed desperately, pain spiking with every motion. Fuck. Fuck fuck. And he wasn't doing a good enough job. He tried harder, despite the dizzying pain in his head he attempted to move it a bit to try and cover up how shitty of a bj he was giving. And he couldn't breeeathe fuck he couldn't breathe, but still he tried - tongue moving along the shaft, Dave hopelessly wishing for some magical finesse to find its way to his mouth. Or that he'd black out. One of the two.
[02:32] TC: Enough of this. The kid obviously had no idea how a guy should be pleasured, and you'd think he'd know - because he was one himself, wasn't he? He had no idea. He didn't know how human anatomy worked. He didn't really care, either. Gamzee jerked himself out of Dave's mouth, hissing as the air hit his bulge. He never much cared for that part. He leant down, bringing a hand to the blonde's -->
[02:35] TC: cheeks, wiping away the tears that streaked down in fake concern. He hummed softly, his smile still reaching his ears - being surprisingly gentle with every touch. It was almost as if he was trying to lure Dave into a false sense of security, giving him something unexpected, as if to say /It's okay, it's a dream, you can wake up now - no freaky clowns here, no dick in your mouth, you're fine,/ -->
[02:36] TC: but it was shortlived. His hands were around Dave's waistband already, jerking his pants down to his knees - and Gamzee was already beginning to try to work himself between them.
[02:40] TG: Dave took a huge gasp of air as soon was he was able, moments away from tapping out and slamming his fist into the ground or Gamzee's leg - something to let him know that he was going to pass the fuck out. Deep, erractic breaths were taken, his free hand shooting to wipe up and over his forehead. Fuck. Fuck. What was going on? He swallowed, his whole frame trembling, a really conflicted look on his face as his pussy-fucking tears were wiped away. This wasn't going to end well. He'd seen enough shitty horror movies to know exactly what was going on, but there was a small, stupid, really fucking insipid part of him in the back of his mind that had all his fingers crossed that this was actually going to be - "Whoa. No. Not okay. Notokaynotokaynotokay-" He jerked his injured arm free, yelping again as he tried to desperately shove Gamzee off once more, kicking his legs and thrashing about as much as his battered frame and concussion-addled mind would allow.
[02:43] TC: Gamzee wasn't going to let that happen, oh no. He was already hiking Dave's kicking legs up - digging his claws into them to calm them down - maybe make them stop MOVING, because the more they moved, the more his fingers were going to dig in. He was tugging those thighs up to meet him - pressing his arousal against the area between Dave's legs, rubbing slightly against the -->
[02:45] TC: skin and jerking his hips a few times when he'd struggle. "What's the matter, huh? CAN'T TAKE IT? That's a shame." You're going to. He added it mentally - and he was already letting go of one leg - taking hold of his length and rubbing it along the human's.. Nook? What even was a human nook? Whatever. He was - at least somewhat lubricated from Dave's saliva - and it should've made his entry -->
[02:46] TC: a little easier for him. Not for dave, though. No. It was still gonna hurt, and Gamzee would make sure of that. At least at first. He pushed - just barely, but was knocked away by the kicking leg for a second. A growl escaped him and he dug his claw into the Strider's leg, raking it down to his knee and cutting open skin, before pressing himself back up against that area - glowering down at the --
[02:46] TC: human at his disposal.
[03:07] TG: Another cry sounded as the claws dug into his legs, the pain sending a surge of adrenaline through him that just made him thrash more. Noooo no. This. Would not happen. He was way beyond trying to act cool. He felt the hot tip pressing against him in that oh-so-sensitive place and it made a violent shudder rip through him. "P-please," he whimpered in desperation. He couldn't take it. He couldn't. "Gnnahhh ow, fuck, p-please god no..." His leg burned now with the new injury, pretty sure bruises were already sprouting up across his entire body. His neck mostly, but also probably his jaw, his hips - his shoulders, arm, and chest. He'd do anything, just please don't do this to him. He'd take a beating, he'd make out with one of the severed heads, he'd never speak to Karkat again - jesus fuck just /don't do this to him/. He was crying again, struggling to get up get up GET UP and get away, just get the fuck away. He had to. This couldn't happen.
[03:10] TC: That. That was what he was looking for. Gamzee was smiling ear to ear - the begging just sending more of a rush through him. Yet - at the same time, it made him angry. Just about everything Dave did made him angry - and the fact that he was so panicked, the fact that he was CRYING and the fact that he was saying 'please' over and over again.. Well. He wasn't going to hesitate. -->
[03:12] TC: Gamzee began to press inside. He jerked Dave's hips forward - pressing the head of his length against that tight opening, letting it swallow his bulge, centimeter by centimeter, inch by inch. It wasn't easy, either. Dave's body gave resistance, and he had to FORCE himself inside - cursing every time that it wouldn't fit just right. He groaned, the feeling of those hot, tight walls around his -->
[03:13] TC: length, finally, making him shudder - every time he jerked inside it was rougher and rougher, because it was HARD to get inside of him - and when he felt a sort of 'pop' around his dick, when he felt the painful adjustment, he let himself relax a little, growling to Dave - a warning to SHUT HIS MOUTH BEFORE GAMZEE SHUT IT FOR HIM. He drew back a hand, slapping the blonde across the jaw -->
[03:14] TC: before taking it in his hands again, forcing the human to look him in the eye. "You're supposed to MOTHERFUCKING WANT IT. BEG ME."
[03:27] TG: "N-no no no nononoooo n--!" His eyes widened impossibly as he was forced into, a sort-of choked sob leaving him as he clawed the air desperately, trying to reach Gamzee so he could scratch, hit, bite, do /a n y t h i n g/ to make this unbearable pain stop. Just stop. It hurt so fucking bad, the pain in his head and arm were like frolicking in a field of fucking ponies and rainbows and daisies by comparison. It burned. Everything burned. The poor kid was on fire, broken sobs and strangled howls of pain leaving the 14 year-old as he cried and bled and simpered and sobbed and arched his back and just wanted to /die/. Every jerk made a pitched cry leave him, Dave nearly throwing up again just from the intensity of the searing pains. He choked it down, swallowing and shaking his head back and forth before he was slapped - stunned once again into a momentary silence. He stared up at Gamzee, the fear of god struck into him, violent tremors shaking his fragile frame. He didn't want it. He didn't want it. "I d-don't w-w-want it," he sobbed, hands wrapping around the troll's wrist. "God, st-stop... please... f-fuck..."
[03:27] *** Your previous message has not been sent.  Reason: Maximum length (1099) exceeded.  You can recall the last message typed with Ctrl-Up or Up, depending on settings.
[03:27] TG: "N-no no no nononoooo n--!" His eyes widened impossibly as he was forced into, a sort-of choked sob leaving him as he clawed the air desperately, trying to reach Gamzee so he could scratch, hit, bite, do /a n y t h i n g/ to make this unbearable pain stop. Just stop. It hurt so fucking bad, the pain in his head and arm were like frolicking in a field of fucking ponies and rainbows and daisies by comparison. It burned. Everything burned. The poor kid was on fire, broken sobs and strangled howls of pain leaving the 14 year-old as he cried and bled and simpered and sobbed and arched his back and just wanted to /die/. Every jerk made a pitched cry leave him, Dave nearly throwing up again just from the intensity of the searing pains. He choked it down, swallowing and shaking his head back and forth before he was slapped - stunned once again into a momentary silence. He stared up at Gamzee, the fear of god struck into him, ->
[03:27] TG: violent tremors shaking his fragile frame. He didn't want it. He didn't want it. "I d-don't w-w-want it," he sobbed, hands wrapping around the troll's wrist. "God, st-stop... please... f-fuck..."
[03:31] TC: "You're beggin' for the wrong thing." He muttered it, hiking one of Dave's legs up over his shoulder - and then, he drew out about half-way, the sneer still plastered onto his expression - and shoved himself right back inside. He was relentless. Gamzee wasn't going to stop - no matter how much Dave pleaded, no matter how much he cried, swore, tugged at his wrists - Gamzee was not going to -->
[03:33] TC: stop. He withdrew again, until only the head of his member was inside of Dave, and thrust back in again - relentlessly, roughly, slamming inside over and over again, his teeth gritting and low groans of approval escaping him. No, Dave was going to get it. He was going to get it hard, and Gamzee wouldn't relent until he begged for it. Not until he begged for the Capricorn to be inside him, not -->
[03:35] TC: until he was pleading, not until his resolve broken and he was reduced to begging for it. He didn't care about the blonde's pleasure. He didn't care whether or not he enjoyed himself - no, the only thing on Gamzee's mind was how hard he should be, how fast he should go, and how he was going to make the Strider eat EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS REMARKS, MAKE HIM REGRET THEM ALL. He leant down -->
[03:36] TC: pressing his lips against the human's collarbone, and bit down - his thrusting in an erratic, uneven pace. He growled against the bleeding skin - hips snapping into the boy's rear every time he jerked forward. "I'm not motherfucking stopping. YOU CAN FORGET THAT RIGHT NOW. You was the one that told me to bring it, wasn't you? WASN'T IT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IDEA?" He was laughing, now, his lips -->
[03:38] TC: curled up in a grin and his body jerking forward ruthlessly. "Tell me you want me to fuck you. TELL ME YOU WANT IT, AND TELL ME HOW BAD." His nails were raking down Dave's sides, now, before he took hold of the boy's rear - spreading the cheeks apart, stretching his body and digging his fingers, his claws into every bit of flesh he could find.
[04:03] TG: Wr-wrong thing? What the shit?? "Ggghnghaa.. noo..." Every rough thrust was responded to with a sound of distinct pain, devoid of anything that could be misconstrued as desire. The bite brought a moan of pain and he shuddered again, feebly trying to crawl away. Fuck. Fuck. "N-not this," he wailed. He didn't mean for him to bring this. Anything but this. He didn't want this. Fuck, he hadn't even meant to find Gamzee. It was a fucking accident - the biggest fucking tragic accident of his entire life. Dying hadn't even been this bad. Tears streamed down his face, eyes burning much like the rest of him. "N-no, I d-don't -- /gghhhhhhhnnnnnnnf/ -- p-please n-no--!" He writhed at the claws down his ribcage, struggling harder as he felt the troll pull and maneuver and tear him to shreds. He felt paralyzed again, no part of his body moving and cooperating how he wanted it to. Hand flew to his mouth, sides aching as he felt himself wretch. ->
[04:03] TG: He couldn't hold it back and he threw up again, the coffee-mess dribbling through his fingers and down his chin and neck and torso because he couldn't - his fucking brain wasn't working right, it couldn't tell his motherfucking spine to lean over so he didn't fucking puke on himself. Gooooodfuckingdammit. The blackness was creeping up on him again, eyes wildly trying to focus on anything. Sullied hand tried to grope for one of Gamzee's in what was meant to be a half-hearted attempt at pulling him off again, his whimpers and cries becoming white noise to even himself.
[04:13] TC: "BEG, STRIDER, BEG. It'll make things a whole lot easier on you." His thrusts were unrelenting, rough, and fast - in fact, Gamzee had angled himself so he could ram in faster and harder, so he could slip in and out of Dave's body with more force - and the hands on his rear never let go, never stopped pulling the cheeks apart, never stopped digging into skin and never stopped assisting the pain -->
[04:14] TC: that the human felt. To Gamzee, this was a high he hadn't ever felt before. He was groaning, his head thrown back, his wild hair sticking to his face with sweat, and he was gone - he was so high up there, feeling the human clench and pull around his length, feeling the other's body shake and struggle beneath him. No, he was not going to stop. He wasn't going to make things easier, -->
[04:16] TC: not until he heard those words. His breathing was uneven with each thrust, the force of it knocking the wind out of him every time his hips snapped forward. His hold on Dave's backside was eventually taken to his hips, where he pulled the human back with each force of his thrust, his sharp hip-bones smacking against the cuts that he'd made. When Dave emptied his stomach - he could -->
[04:17] TC: feel his body clench around him, which only prompted Gamzee to thrust harder. Looks like Dave was bleeding. He didn't care if he'd ripped the boy's insides, he didn't care if he'd made him bleed, he didn't care how much he cried and begged for Gamzee to stop, he was having the time of his life. He, after the human was done, took hold of Dave's bile-covered chin - ignoring the fact that -->
[04:19] TC: it was disgusting, it smelled, and it just about disgusted Gamzee himself. No, he forced Dave to look at him, forced him to watch as Gamzee smiled, before jerking his head down - trying to make the blonde look where they were connected. Trying to make him watch. "Look what I'm doing to you. YOU WANT MORE. Tell me you want more, tell me you love it. SAY IT! Come on.."
[04:48] TC: He didn't hear the response that he was hoping for. When he didn't - he bristled, his sneer reaching his eyes, a look, some sort of disturbingly amused yet furious expression crossed his face, and he was taking hold of Dave's neck again, one hand leaving his hip, and holding him up. He was holding his neck so tightly, cutting off the circulation and squeezing his nails into the skin. --?
[04:48] TC: -->*
[04:49] TC: Then - as if Dave's head hadn't had enough damage, he jerked it back - slapping the human's scalp against the concrete, thrusting inside the moment his head hit the ground.
[04:59] TG: "N-no," he whispered in a whimper, absolutely refusing to acknowledge that this was happening to him. C-coolkids didn't get... they didn't... As his head was jerked the room spun, the first few seconds of trying to look anywhere but down /there/ were agonizing. He hypterventilated, watching between them, eyes sliding in and out of focus again. N-no! Fingers clawed at the hand again, blackness creeping ever-further. Fuckfuckfuckfu-- Oh.... Oh. Ow. For a second Dave didn't move, his mind completely just.... blank. He knew something hurt. He knew he was terrified. He knew his name and where he was from, but everything was so... fuzzy all of a sudden. In a rush everything returned to him, the momentary white-out a bit of a scare. But in a way this really was all his fault, wasn't it? Realistically speaking, Dave had no business poking around where he didn't belong. It was with this uncharacteristic realization that he heard himself whimper again; ->
[05:00] TG: the sound far-off and distant, like he wasn't really in control of it. He jerked, pain shooting through him as he tried to support himself with what he was willing to guess was a broken arm. "P-please," he tried again, but his tone was different this time - it was somehow desperate in a different way. He was still in unspeakable pain, there was absolutely no denying that. He was still bleeding in more places than he cared to count. He was shaking so violently his entire musculature was sore. He knew this was wrong, in the back of his head ((right around where he was bleeding from)) he knew that he didn't want this. He wanted nothing to do with this whatosever. But there was nothing that the little voice way the fuck back there could do anything about the repetition of the 'p' word, and the way Dave's mouth opened to say - not 'i want it'- but - "I d-deserve it."
[05:04] TC: Not good enough. Still not good enough. Gamzee wasn't going to settle for less than 'I want it', and he was going to make that known. He jerked forward, slapping his hips against the cut and bruised rear, his hands moving back to the blonde's hips and a low growl emitting from the back of his throat. Unless.. Yeah, he supposed maybe that would work. MAYBE he'd give Dave a bit of a break, -->
[05:06] TC: if he could answer correctly. If he could act like the perfect little desperate boy that Gamzee KNEW he could be. He leant over the other's trembling form, smiling, laughing, even, and paused for a moment, sinking into the hilt of Dave's behind and rolling his hips, slowly, steadily. "And why do you motherfucking deserve it?" He wanted details. He wanted Dave to say just why he was -->
[05:07] TC: so pathetic, he wanted the 'coolkid' to take back every word he spoke, to be truly, pathetically SORRY for what he'd done. He wanted to see Dave at his absolute worst, because he'd never felt such a rush before. He leant in close, his lips pressing against the corner of the human's mouth, his hips still rolling in that agonizingly, yet calmer pace, slow and steady, just barely pushing in and -->
[05:09] TC: out, his hands running up his sides in an almost pleasant manner. He let his fingers rub against the nubs on Dave's chest, his palms flat against the light peach or whatever color the human's skin was. He still found their color to be rather plain, nothing vibrant or exciting about it. He'd made sure to pick the side that wasn't covered in that disgusting substance that Dave seemed to be so -->
[05:10] TC: persistent on spewing out. It smelled disgusting and he wanted no part of it. "Tell me what you did wrong, huh? TELL ME. Which one of us motherfuckers is at the motherfuckin' top, and which one of us is the pathetic ass motherfucker that ain't got a chance?" He jerked inside again, roughly and angrily, his smug expression turning sour. "MOTHERFUCKING TELL ME."
[05:32] TG: Dave swallowed uneasily, his mouth still tasting like shit for some reason - had he thrown up again since the first time? - a very pained expression settling on his features as the troll took to those... slow, drawn-out rolls into him. Wh-why did he deserve it? He opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by the strangely affectionate kiss, the gentility of his hands and the very, very, very confusing attention. It tore him up inside for reasons he didn't understand. Was he that concussed? Maybe he had actually forgotten why he was here and what was going on. "Nnha-!" the rough jerk startled him, and immediately following the sound another quiet sob resounded from him, Dave's tears still a constant down his red face. "I-I'm... a t-total bitch," he whispered, red eyes watching Gamzee's face in terror. Oh god, stop yelling - just please stop fucking yelling... "I b-badmouthed your bro... I'm an a-awful person, I deserve it." He shuddered again, another sob rising. ->
[05:32] TG: "B-but I don't, because I'm s-such a fuckin' nobody." Uh. Just how much of this was the concussion and how much of this was how Dave /actually/ felt? "I don't des-serve it. But I want it. B-b-because I w-want the attention." If what he was saying was entirely accurate, he deserved the non-con fuck because he was a terrible person who talked down about people's brohams and that wasn't cool. But he didn't deserve it because he did that. He didn't deserve the attention that he got, negative or otherwise. But he wanted it because any attention was better than being stuck on a fucking rock where all your friends were either being space lesbians or were too busy eating chalk? Dave was a lot more fucked up than he ever let on. Oh-kay Dave let's... pull it in, get your head out of that silly space it was in - cut it the fuck out, Dave. Come /on/.
[05:43] TC: "Good boy.." Gamzee was laughing again, his grin reaching his ears. That was exactly what he wanted to hear. That is EXACTLY what he wanted to hear come out of the human's lips. Weak, pathetic, craving any sort of attention and that he WANTED it. Gamzee withdrew about half way again - angling himself so he teased that one place inside the human, that area that he GUESSED would -->
[05:45] TC: drive the blonde into a pleasured moan instead of a pained one. It was just a guess, though. He didn't know, not for sure. If that's where it was on trolls, maybe that's where it was on humans, right? He seemed to be getting some sort of reaction out of it - listening to the 14 year old's soft sounds, but. That was just about as far as he let it get. He drew back about a half an inch, and -->
[05:46] TC: slammed back inside with such an intensity, driving into that one spot, only once - before resuming his pace anywhere he wanted to. His hips were slapping against Dave's behind, his length filling the other's insides in all the wrong places, and it almost felt like more blood was escaping that opening, lubricating the opening more. He really didn't care - he didn't care about the blood, he -->
[05:47] TC: didn't care about the human's pain, and he didn't care about his feelings. No, all he cared about was showing Dave who was boss. Showing him what kismesissitude was all about first hand. He just wanted to see the boy writhe, he wanted to see him cry, beg, moan in pain and shiver. He wanted to see him break down into nothing, break down until all he was, was an empty shell of -->
[05:49] TC: a boy. Gamzee only cared about his own personal gain, and the fact that Dave had trusted him enough to do as he said, believing he would be merciful was laughable. His nails were raking down the human's skin again, digging into his hips, jerking him back down against Gamzee's hips with every thrust. The Capricorn had broken his word, broken his promise, and he didn't regret it for a second.
[06:02] TG: His back arched against his will, the sudden and painful shiver that tore through him rousing another groan of pain. In this state, that little 'spot' was nothing more than a hair trigger for a shock of pain, and it certainly did its job of shocking. God. God dammit. It fucking hurt. It fucking hurt and he didn't want this. He knew he didn't want this because he wasn't a stupid fucking kid. Okay, he WAS a stupid fucking kid but he wasn't THAT kind of stupid. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!! Lengthy whimper left his mouth, head shaking back and forth again, hands resuming their quest of trying to get the troll off him. Or rather out of him. "S-stop," he sobbed again, the intensity of the pain jazzed up from his momentary trip to concussion-altered-state-of-mind-sville. H-he had said.. he had said... that he'd... God, this wasn't happening. Coolkids didn't get raped. "/Hhhhhhnnnnhnhhhhgg/." The claws felt like they were tracing thin streams of acid down his skin, ->
[06:02] TG: burning a path that he'd never forget the agony of. Was there a single inch on Dave Strider not covered in blood or some sort-of injury? "G-god - stop - pl-please--" Gasp was heard between each word, Dave unable to control his breathing like some stupid asthmatic kid. "N-no - no - n-no more--" He was still fucking crying. Good lord, how much more of this could he take??
[06:21] TC: Gamzee was thrusting faster and faster as the minutes went by - his body trembling somewhat with the force of his actions, and the fact that Dave's body squeezed around him like that, the fact that he was unrelenting and every time he thrust in, the other boy would give out another little sound - it was intoxicating. It was making him cringe, making him high on such a wild craze that all -->
[06:22] TC: he could think about was pailing the human until he couldn't walk, and.. Maybe chopping his head off a little. Just a little. He pressed his lips against the wounded spot on the human's neck, and he was biting down on it again - practically ripping off bits of the skin, his entire body tense and a low, dangerous growl running through him. Gamzee was intoxicated on this. He was high -->
[06:24] TC: from the scent that the human emitted, he was drunk with power, and he'd never thought that this could feel so good. Feeling that ring of muscle slide around his length made him shiver, groans emitting from him as he bit down on Dave's shoulder, this time, his hands wandering from his ribs to his hips, scraping the nails, clawing at any space he could. It'd been so long since anyone had been -->
[06:25] TC: around him - and Karkat stopped by, of course he stopped by, but Gamzee just got so alone, it drove him crazy - the feeling of being by himself over and over, with nothing but corpses to keep him company took a toll on him. This - this was his holiday. Driving in and out of the human with such a speed and force that it made him jerk and bounce beneath him. It wasn't long before he felt heat -->
[06:27] TC: pool in his abdomen. He felt like he was getting close, he felt like he was urging closer and closer to the brink with every thrust, every cry, every noise that Dave made and there was NOTHING like this, NOTHING. This was not the last that Dave would see of Gamzee, that was for sure. He snarled, pressing his lips up against Dave's again - in a sloppy, uncoordinated, deep, hate-filled kiss.
[06:43] TG: He was far too weak by now... having lost so much blood, being hit repeatedly in the head with no small amount of force, having been constantly rocking with tremors since this started... not to mention being in so much blinding pain he found himself wondering how he was still conscious - Dave was just too weak to fight it anymore. He wanted to. Every fiber of his being burned to hit him, to thrash and kick and just fucking fight /back/. But when Gamzee bit into his neck, when his cries turned pathetically hoarse, when the hands of someone strange that is /not/ your friend talon'd you like that... He couldn't fight anymore. He whimpered in a broken tone, hands weakly lifting to attempt once more to push him away. His nails may have scratched Gamzee's skin, which he was willing to count as a small victory. He bit his bottom lip, teeth nibbling the already sensitive skin there. That was, until, Gamzee kissed him. In his absolutely devastated, hurt, and mentally/emotionally/physically damaged state he could do little more than sob harder, feebly hitting his shoulder, trying to get him off. Turned his head this way and that. Thrashed about as much as he could. "St-stoooop," he moaned. The only reason it sounded so half-hearted was because most of his heart and his spirit had been destroyed already. Poor.... poor thing.
[06:48] TC: Gamzee didn't care. He didn't care about the soft cries, he didn't care about the shivering, the trembling, the slapping against his shoulder. What he DID care about, was the fact that the human scratched him. The fact that the Strider had marred his skin. It only made him more excited - it only made him thrust more vigorously, and it only made that heat pooling in his abdomen hotter and -->
[06:50] TC: harder to ignore. He was getting closer with each thrust, with each squeeze, each time he heard that sound that the blonde boy made. He smiled against his lips, but didn't stop - no, he didn't stop kissing him, instead, letting out little laughs, pleased sounds - because that is what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear Dave struggle, he wanted to hear every pathetic noise he made and he -->
[06:51] TC: wanted this, he wanted it SO badly that he didn't know how he was going to control himself. He was so close. He was so close and every inch of him screamed to just let himself loose, but he didn't want to. He wanted this to last. He groaned, loudly, trying to keep himself quiet - but it wasn't working. His pleased noises were getting louder and louder and soon enough, he was panting, burying -->
[06:54] TC: in Dave's neck, his brows knit tightly and his lip curled up. There was heat spreading throughout his body and it felt so good - he'd never experienced anything like this before, and if he got the chance - he'd do it again. He was gritting his teeth, his lips pressed against the blonde's jugular, now, and his hips slapped against bruised skin, clean, precise, and sharp thrusts being provided -->
[06:55] TC: to the boy below him. Well, maybe not clean. By now, the human was bleeding - that candy-apple red spread around his thighs, trickling down Gamzee's own, and it only made him more and more excited. He wasn't going to be able to hold it in for too much longer. He jerked back, sitting up - watching where they connected with hungry eyes, facepaint smeared practically off, the scars across his -->
[06:56] TC: face beginning to show through. He'd been missing out on this. The kismesissitude was one of the best things he'd ever experienced - the fact that the teen was sobbing, practically broken beneath him. He lived for it. He was eyeing the blonde's flacid member - and before he really knew what he was doing, he was taking hold of it - squeezing it roughly, painfully tight - and his nails were -->
[06:58] TC: digging into the sensitive skin. He kept a firm hold, watching his own swollen length pound mercilessly into Dave, and - watching like that, feeling his body flush with desire, everything feeling more and more intense as he thrust over and over again.. He let out a short cry, his hand letting go of the Strider as he fell forward, his hands taking hold of those hips and pulling him to meet his -->
[07:00] TC: frantic thrusts, faster, faster, harder - until he couldn't take it anymore. He was spilling inside the human, his genetic material filling him, and his teeth clamped down on his neck again, his favorite place to bite when he felt overwhelmed. His breaths came out labored, a huff of air and groans escaping him with each thrust, emptying himself more and more with every jerk inside. Then, it -->
[07:01] TC: was finished, and he was collapsing, panting, lying on Dave with his face buried in his neck. "I hate you." Was all he said, whispering it into the human's ear, not even bothering to pull out.
[22:30] TG: It was sad that the kid took solace in the fact he wasn't being choked right now. It was a good thing, though, seeing as his breathing was rather... erratic? Still mostly hyperventilating, still mostly fueled by terror and the fact that in a few short seconds he wouldn't be /able/ to breathe anymore. The sounds Gamzee was making were driving him crazy, the incessant sound of the troll's laughter and the sexual sounds and growls and everything else ringing in his head, causing his hands to grip at his temples, wanting to force them out, make them stop. Head shook back and forth, attempting to do... what? He wasn't even fully aware of what was going on anymore; the pain was a dull throb, and his entire body was lethargic and mostly numb. ...until that. Until Gamzee grabbed him like that, a sharp yelp leaving him as he reached with both hands, broken arm and all, grabbing at the fabric of Gamzee's shirt. Wanting to throw him off, wanting to do anything - but he was too weak. ->
[22:30] TG: He sobbed into his hands, back arching as the thrusts grew faster, the pain grew more intense. The hands on his hips seared his flesh, and he moaned in earnest, extreme hurt. O-oh fuck, oh fuckohfuck - head pressed painfully against the floor, a shrill cry heard from Dave as Gamzee fucking... did that... inside of him... It was sick. It was sick and he wanted to puke again but all he could do was continue to sob, if anything grateful that he had stilled. The words were a stunning coup de grace on top of everything else and he shook his head miserably, entire body trembling and he weakly shoving at the troll, the pain from his arm numb like the rest of him. "J-just get off me... g-get off... please... just...."
[22:45] TC: So he wanted him out? Fine. Not yet, though - not just yet, and Gamzee made a point of telling this to Dave by jerking forward, burying himself back into the hilt and rocking in and out of his body, shuddering at the too-sensitive length and the too-tight human beneath him. He didn't care, though - not with the way that Dave cried, not that the way the human curled and sobbed beneath him. It was too delicious for him. He leant forward, his lips pressing to Dave's again - almost gently, and he jerked in again - one, tiny, barely there spurt of genetic material releasing itself - as if it had just a little more to give, just to spite him. Then - finally, he pulled out, and collapsed - face buried in the kid's neck. He pressed his lips to the human's jaw, his neck, his ear - tongue darting out to lick and suckle, gently, lover's touches just to spite him and get to him. He let his hands run down Dave's abused body, kissing his collarbone, the rough wounds. If it were anyone else, it'd almost seem like an apology. No, though - he did it for spite. Gamzee knew how badly it bothered -->
[22:46] TC: the human, and he knew just how to push his buttons. "You ain't gonna tell no-one where I am, you hear me? I'LL FIND YOU."
[23:12] TG: "Ghhh-!!" No, god, why? Why more? He whimpered helplessly, hands that were previously shoving Gamzee were on his temples; sliding down as they gripped at his skin, nails digging into his own cheeks. They were hot, and wet. He wasn't surprised, but Dave hadn't expected it to feel quite like that. Another violent shudder tore through his fatigued body and he felt tears hitting his fingertips, trying to shove the troll's face away. It wasn't working. Nothing was working. The affection made him close his eyes again, fingertips pressing against his eyelids. "J-just stop..." he whispered shakily, the small sobs still leaving him. He knew the affections were meant to be hurtful and they were. It was possibly the most hurtful thing that the troll had done to him. False niceties were really... not cool with him. He jumped at the voice, nodding emphatically - probably not the best idea, groaning again and gripping his hair as the pain sent his head whirling. "I w-won't," he whimpered. "I won't I p-p-promise..." Just let him go already... please...
[23:21] TC: He finally let go - sitting up and pulling his pants up, and making his way across the room to go sit in the corner he'd been occupying prior to Dave's arrival. The Capricorn tugged his knees to his chest, his eyes shutting and his forehead resting against them. That'd felt good. It'd felt wonderful - seeing Dave writhe beneath him, seeing him so pathetic and helpless. He'd loved it. But he'd messed up. Karkat wasn't going to be happy with him. "Get the motherfuck out." It was all he said - hiding away in that little corner that he'd been occupying - before reaching over, pulling Tavros' head to his chest. He gave Dave a nasty look - a sneer plastered across his features, his hands running through the hair of the head in his lap - looking fondly down at the white eyes. He was a good bro. He always was. Always listened, always just laid down and let Gamzee rant away. He didn't need to say anything. The fact that Tavros still listened was good enough for him. "Turn off the light on your way out."
[23:39] TG: Dave kinda just... laid there for a minute, the room spinning around him. He couldn't... he couldn't think straight. He was still crying but not as audibly, trying to find the strength in himself to get up, get /up/ and get the fuck out of there. He took a deep and shuddering breath, using his uninjured arm to prop himself up a bit with a soft cry. Everything.... everywhere hurt. Struggling to pull his own pants on his movements were incredibly slow, the voice making him wince, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. And he shivered again. Dave had stopped trying to control his breathing, figuring that whenever he stopped hyperventilating he'd just drop like a fucking rock. He hoped he would. Rising to his knees was a special challenge and he fell forward onto his hands, noise of pain leaving him as his injured arm crumpled under his weight. N-no, he had to get out of here. Had to. Had to... he crawled over to his shirt, cape, and shades, ->
[23:39] TG: pulling them onto himself in a methodic, careful way. Covering the clawmarks on his ribcage, the bitemarks on his neck and collarbone, the bruises and the blood. Shaking hands lifted the cape over his head and he replaced his shades, using the wall next to him to stand on weak knees. Hand crept up the wall to find the lightswitch, not even bothering to look behind him as he shut it off. He said nothing. He had no last-minute quips, no biting coolkid remarks, nothing. Dave didn't have it in him. Anything that was left of what he'd had when he entered was gone. He was just another bloodsmear on the floor of this chamber of death, and he didn't need another lasting reminder of that. He'd barely made it three difficult steps outside the door before he fell to his hands and knees again, ->
[23:39] TG: throwing up the bleak remainders of coffee that lingered in his stomach. He had a hard time even managing the energy for that but he rose again anyway, stumbling in what he seemed to recall was the direction he came from. He... he just... needed to sit down. Not here. Anywhere but here.
[00:28] TC: He really didn't know how to handle all of this. Between the issues with Terezi, and the problems he'd been having inbetween.. Karkat was finding himself getting more and more frustrated each day. He'd tried to reason with Dave. He'd tried to make things easier on them both, because, really, he didn't know how much more if it he could take. Karkat was at his wit's end, and Gamzee was rarely pleasant to be around, these days. If he could find him, anyway. The Capricorn was pretty elusive - and when they did meet, he was usually more to him self than he should've been. He supposed that something like.. What happened really could take a toll on his moriail. He was storming off - and that wasn't unusual, when he bumped into the human. Dave - one of his sources of stress lately. That was just what he wanted, wasn't it. Another bulge-smashing source of stress that he can rage about. It wasn't like he had enough on his plate, no, Terezi's stupid favorite guy ever in the whole entire dumb rock had to go plant his stupid face right on -- oh, he doesn't look too good. -->
[00:28] TC: "What the taintchafing hoofbeast's ass is going on now. What the holy FUCK would make you end up stumbling about the hall, covered in your own fucking vomit, bleeding all the fuck over the place and -- shit, what the fuck did she do to you?" Or, maybe it wasn't Terezi. In fact, in all likelihood, it wasn't. But, still. Rub in the fact that Dave seemed to be spending too much time with her anyway! That's a GREAT idea. Kneeling down, Karkat took a long look at the human, his head tilted slightly off to the side as he looked him over. Not.. Touching of course. No, he's not gonna touch that guy. Fuck that guy.
[01:49] *** TC signed on at 1:49 AM.
[02:07] TG: He was feeling his way along the wall, limping awkwardly. The worst of his injuries were still bleeding, the knight leaving a distinct trail behind him as he shuffled along. He didn't know where he was going. He didn't care. And there was Karkat. Normally Dave did all he could to avoid the troll, but right now he really couldn't fucking care less. In fact, the fact that he didn't care was probably enough to say that he cared a whole fuck of a lot that there was someone else there. Not that he... oh, what the fuck ever. He was still shaking, tears were still falling down his stupid red cheeks from under his glasses. There were red little crescent-shaped marks from where he'd dug his fingernails into them. His broken arm was curled against his chest. Oh, fuck - once he stopped moving he started swaying on his feet, hand leaving the wall to hold his head and shit that was a bad idea. ->
[02:07] TG: He stumbled, landing on his knees with a /crack/, a groggy, pained groan leaving him. Fuck, his head... "F-fuck... my head..." Dizzied, he leaned forward, resting on shaky hand and knees. He felt like he was going to puke again. Normally he wouldn't want to even think of doing something so uncool in front of Karkat. But the coolkid... didn't feel so cool anymore.
[02:16] TC: "Woah, fuck, on your feet, nookstain." Karkat really, under any other circumstance, wouldn't have leant forward, wouldn't have looped an arm around Dave's torso - or helped him stand. He noticed the tears - he noticed how bloodied up he was, and most of all, he noticed just how disoriented the human was. That wasn't normal. He was helping the human get to his feet, brows knit and a slightly -->
[02:19] TC: almost irritated look on his face. "You look like you dropped off the fucking meteor, fell into a portal and landed in a pile of spikey shit." Creative, Karkat, ever the eloquent one. "The fuck happened to you? ..Why the fuck are you crying?" Yeah, this was definitely not Terezi's doing. Karkat looked almost.. Nervous. The coolkid wasn't weak - and someone being able to mess him up this bad, -->
[02:20] TC: really couldn't be good news. Then again.. Oh, fuck. Fuck, no. That couldn't be a thing that happened. He shoved any thoughts of Gamzee doing this to the human to the back of his mind. No, he didn't necessarily like Dave. That didn't mean he wanted to see him mauled by a clown in his natural habitat. Karkat knew he had to get him somewhere. He wasn't any good with medical junk, anyway, and by -->
[02:22] TC: the looks of it, Dave was going to need more than a bandage. "Shit, dude. Come on. Don't go limp on me." Dave was heavier than he looked, apparently. That wasn't good. He groaned, uncomfortably, trying to support both of their weight and simultaneously figure out where they'd wandered off to. Maybe.. Maybe he'd follow that trail of red that Dave'd left behind once he got him somewhere. -->
[02:23] TC: "Seriously, now what the fuck happened to you?"
[02:56] TG: Dave nearly lost his legs under himself again as Karkat helped him up, a pained sort-of grunt leaving him. He didn't want to. He didn't want to need Karkat. But he clung to him with his good arm, taking a deep and shaky breath. Head tipped back to try and alleviate some of the pressure he felt bearing down on him, and his hood slipped off; exposing the blood in his hair that Gamzee had put there, and the blood from the repeated bashes of his head into various walls and floors. More than once he nearly lost consciousness just walking like that with Karkat; his knees would weaken and he'd find himself mis-stepping and nearly making them both trip up. The question made a shudder run through him, weakened state making his muscles tingle with pain at the action. He whimpered pathetically. "I-it was a-an accident..." he whispered shakily, bruised knuckles tightening in Karkat's shirt as he attempted to swallow the lump in his throat. ->
[02:56] TG: God, everything... was painful. Walking. Sitting. Standing still. "I d-didn't mean t...to... to find him..." He wasn't even trying to hide his tears or his condition. Dave wasn't sure if he really trusted Karkat. But it wasn't really about trust. It was more about not wanting the people he actually cared about to see him like this. And he didn't dislike Karkat enough to turn down help that he very obviously needed. He wasn't /that/ far gone. Close, but... not stupid.
[03:07] TC: Karkat stopped, right where he stood. To find him? No. Oh, no. That meant.. "You mean Gamzee." It was blank, his tone flat and his brow knit tightly against his forehead. Well, that explained it. He didn't know much about what triggered Gamzee, or what made him flip out, but... He did know that at one point, Gamzee didn't mind Dave, and at another - the mere mention of his name was making the -->
[03:12] TC: Capricorn sneer. His hold on the human's waist tightened, and he started to move again - heading towards, what he assumed, was the main lab - where Kanaya and Rose were, primarily. They'd know what to do, right? He was assuming, anyway. They'd know more than the other's, right? He was pulling Dave a little farther, trying to keep him from stumbling too much. It was getting hard, though, and -->
[03:15] TC: the more that he pushed, the more he was starting to get tired, himself. The human was going practically deadweight on him, wasn't it? "The fuck did he do to you, anyway? Rip you inside out and put you back to-fucking-gether again? You look like you've been hit by eighty fucking spike covered asteroids." He was grumbling, a sneer on his face as he slowly lead the other boy into the room, -->
[03:17] TC: his arm supporting him to the best of his ability. Rose was the first one to notice Dave's condition. She turned - her expression contorting into one of shock, and curiosity. There was concern flickering in those oddly colored orbs, too, but more than anything she just looked speechless. Karkat grunted, helping the other into a chair - the moment he was sitting down and safe, sitting down and -->
[03:18] TC: catching his breath, his face burying in his hands.
[03:34] TG: The troll stopped and Dave didn't register the action quite as quickly as he should have, taking another half step before actually... stopping. The name sent a chill down his spine and he whimpered again completely against his will, his stomach churning again and the kid taking a deep breath to try and keep himself from throwing up. Again. From the time he'd managed to haul himself out of that room and to where Karkat found him had only been about ten minutes, but it felt like hours - and when clips and pieces of what had happened played in his head he choked on another sob, feeling like he wanted to die all over again. Shit like that didn't happen to coolkids. Dave... wasn't a coolkid. He was a pathetic, sorry, broken excuse for a 14 year old loser. Gamzee robbed him of his coolness. He didn't know if he could ever get it back. Or if he'd want it back. He barely even looked up as they entered the room, only distantly aware that their surroundings had changed into the lab. ->
[03:34] TG: Oh, he was sitting now, apparently, and Karkat was - He reached out for him, suddenly, catching the sleeve of his shirt. "Karkat... I'm s-sorry," he whimpered, echoes of what Gamzee had said about regretting the insults he'd thrown about the nubby-horned troll ringing in his ears. Oh lord, did he regret it. He'd never regretted anything more in his entire life. "...t-told me I'd... re-regret it.... I d-do, I'm..." he swallowed, face slackening a bit. Ope... was he...? "...s-so sorry..." Just slipped unconscious for a second. So, so so sorry. "So... s-so... sorry..." More tears. God... For being invincible, it sure didn't make any of this any less painful.
[04:04] TC: Karkat had absolutely no idea what Dave was talking about. Drawing all those human bulges on his chart? Being with Terezi so much..? He didn't know, and he didn't even try. The kid was obviously tired, didn't know what he was talking about. He sighed - watching Dave's tears slip down his cheeks - and.. Wow, he was falling asleep. That really wasn't normal. "Fuck, man, just.. Calm -->
[04:04] TC: the fuck down, okay? It's fine, just relax." He moved to get up - the scowl on his features more obvious than it had been, which - was saying something. Karkat wasn't exactly a happy-go-lucky guy. Rose didn't say much - just quickly walked up to Dave's side, crouching down and examining the blood on the back of his head. "What happened to him?" Was all she said - when she finally did speak up, -->
[04:04] TC: anyway. Karkat didn't say. He gave Dave a look - before he crouched down, moving to face the human to the best of his ability, trying to make the other look at him - to see that his scowl had changed to somewhat of a pleading expression. He hoped that Dave could see what he was asking - that he was asking not to tell on Gamzee. That he was asking Dave to keep his mouth shut - because he -->
[04:04] TC: couldn't lose his moirail, too. "I don't fucking know. I found him like this in the hall." It was a lie. It was obvious, too, and every single word he said felt like acid on his tongue, because guilt plagued his every word. He was lying. He was lying about something big so he could protect someone who shouldn't be protected, for his own benefit. He really was a selfish prick, wasn't he? Karkat -->
[04:05] TC: shook his head, swallowing roughly, plopping back down in the seat next to Dave.
[04:37] TG: Watching Karkat through his shades, he nodded dumbly. Had he any resolve left anywhere in himself, any shred of dignity or pride, he would have argued. But he strongly believed with every fiber of his being that Gamzee would in fact kill him if he told, regardless of whether he could die or not - that just meant he could do it over, and over, and over, and over again. He wasn't doing it for Karkat. He was doing it because while he may have left his dignity in the puddle of puke and blood he left on that chamber floor, he still had his sense of self-preservation. Somewhat. But he didn't hate Karkat. He should have. He should have hated him a lot, for how he got on his case about nothing constantly, about how his stupid fucking boyfriend or whatever did... this sort-of thing to people. Or rather, just to him. He felt a really, really, really fucking weird and deep and probably brain-damage-caused bond with him. He'd... really need to talk with him later. When he was capable of talking, capable of thinking, capable of existing without being in pain. ->
[04:38] TG: He was scared to take inventory of all the injuries Gamzee caused, willing to put the number somewhere over thirty. If he wanted to count individual clawmarks, he'd say over a hundred. Without another word his eyes slipped closed and he succumbed to blackness, slumping to the side right into Rose. He just couldn't hold onto consciousness anymore.
[05:06] TG: He was scared to take inventory of all the injuries Gamzee caused, willing to put the number somewhere over thirty. If he wanted to count individual clawmarks, he'd say over a hundred. He felt his eyes well with tears again suddenly, a completely out-of-left-field thought flickering across his mind. "I w-wish... John were here...." The goofy kid that always knew what to say cheer Dave up, the stupid kid that had a weird obsession with Nic Cage and the Ghostbusters and that Dave had always been scared to admit that he loved. But that didn't really matter anymore. Nothing did. Without another word his eyes slipped closed and he succumbed to blackness, slumping to the side right into Rose. He just couldn't hold onto consciousness anymore.
[05:49] TC: Rose was fairly calm as she removed herself from the room to go get some supplies. Karkat was no medic, and she hoped that she could manage to keep Dave in a decent state for at least a while. Dave was going to be okay, as unpleasant as it was. Karkat looked down at the other - and guilt struck him, hard and fast, especially when he heard, in that soft voice, that Dave wished John was there. -->
[05:49] TC: That wasn't something that he'd ever expect Dave to say. So - he frowned, unable to look at Dave any more. It was getting painful - just looking at the tears that slipped down his cheeks were difficult, because he knew - he knew that Gamzee was the one that inflicted this pain, and he knew that.. There really was no point in having Gamzee around anymore. Not if he was going to be hurting -->
[05:50] TC: any of them. He didn't do much anyway, other than loot the bodies and.. Well, Karkat didn't want to think about that. All he knew was that he couldn't handle losing his moirail too. Gamzee was his - and as sad as it sounded, his relationship with the Capricorn was one of the most stable things in his life. Letting out a sigh, he turned - frowning to himself and with a miserable expression, -->
[05:50] TC: started to turn the other way, and walk the other direction. He had to get this taken care of, he couldn't just.. Let Gamzee get away with this. He couldn't cover up something like this. "I'm gonna go.. See what the fuck did this to him. Look around and all that fucking giant, smelly hoofbeast shit. I'll be around later." There wasn't any excuse for this. He didn't care how much Gamzee hated -->
[05:51] TC: the human, he wasn't going to get away with acting out like this. He'd have to talk him out of it, or Kanaya would find him. He was getting sloppy
[06:09] TG: Letting himself out of the lab, he took a deep breath; wringing his hands together and then running them through his hair. This was going to be fucking wonderful, wasn't it. He wasn't even sure what he was going to do when he confronted Gamzee about it. Fuck, he wasn't even sure what Gamzee was going to do to /him/ when he was confronted about it. The Capricorn had always been volatile in the worst way, and lately it was getting more and more difficult to control. But this.... This kinda took the cake. Not that he could have done it now, but had Dave /not/ been god-tier? He would have killed him. The human was ridiculously fucking pale, and Karkat was more than sure he was only seeing probably a fifth of his injuries. And how fucked-up in the head was he, now? Sure, Karkat really didn't care /too/ much for Dave, but he'd never wish something like this upon him. Eyes were trained on the floor, following the trail of blood that Dave had left. ->
[06:09] TG: Jesus, there was a lot of it. Where the fuck was he even bleeding from when he'd done this? He felt another guilty pang in his chest and he grumbled, so motherfucking conflicted. Fifteen minutes or so later he was standing at the doorway where the blood originated, scrunching his nose a bit at the puddle of vomit next to the door. It was disgusting, but he really could only feel that overwhelming sense of pity. He didn't say anything to alert the troll of his presence, but he stayed in the doorway - he really didn't want to fucking spook the stupid troll or provoke him into attacking suddenly.
[06:16] TC: Gamzee heard foosteps, and for a few moments, he bristled - brows knit and wide eyes staring at the door. He didn't want anyone to find him. Not like this, not like.. Anything, really. He just didn't want to be found out - he couldn't handle it. They wouldn't let him get away with this. He got up - on shaky legs, and moved to the door - just barely opening it, just far enough so he could see -->
[06:19] TC: who stood on the other side. He messed up - and he knew he messed up. He was back to thinking straight. Mostly, anyway. He still thought he was justified - he still thought he had every right, but at the same time - there was guilt. He hadn't meant to mess up so bad. He hadn't meant to go that far, and he didn't know what he was thinking. So when he saw Karkat on the other side of the door, -->
[06:22] TC: he didn't waste a second in flinging it open, and wrapping his arms around the other troll - his face buried in Karkat's neck, his hands caked with all sorts of different colors of blood, including - the color of Dave's. In fact, that was pretty much everywhere - on his lips, on his chin, on his shirt and on his fingers. Yet, he wouldn't let go. He was holding Karkat so tightly to his chest -->
[06:26] TC: that he wouldn't be surprised if it hurt the guy. He was just happy to see him. His best friend, his moirail, his everything. All he had left. "I motherfucking missed you." It was all he said, his eyes shut tightly and his face buried in his moirail's hair. All he could feel was an overwhelming sense of relief that Karkat was here - Karkat was here and everything was going to be okay. He didn't-->
[06:27] TC: have to be alone with no one that talks back, now.
[06:50] TG: He squeaked a bit with how hard Gamzee was squeezing him, wincing at how tight the hug was. God, he - what the fuck was he supposed to do? Everyone was going to find out eventually. And Kanaya was going to kill him. He very much doubted there was anything he could say to her to convince her otherwise; their relationship had always been tedious at best. It was the rush of pity and fear that he felt for Gamzee that made his arms lift suddenly, holding to his moirail not nearly as tight as he was to Karkat, but tight enough. "Gamzee..." This was going to be really fucking hard. He honestly had no idea how to handle this. Not only would Kanaya kill him ((not even because she had any sort-of connection to Dave; she was probably willing to take any excuse she could get)) but Rose definitely would too. Sibling shit and all that. And Terezi maybe, too? But that thought made ->
[06:50] TG: him angry so he shoved it away. His fingers curled into the back of the other troll's shirt. He smelled fucking awful, like a number of things Karkat didn't want to think about. But he was scared. Karkat was scared for Gamzee. So he clung to him, taking deep breaths, trying to figure out how the fuck to approach this.
[06:55] TC: "I pity you." That was the second thing that left Gamzee's lips - softly against Karkat's ear, his form still trembling a little bit from the.. Well, terrible thing he'd done - the loneliness, the feeling that he was going to get caught - the fear he felt when someone was outside his door and it could've easily been Kanaya, but it turned out to be his best friend. The one living friend -->
[07:02] TC: he could count on. The only living one he had left. "I'm so happy to motherfuckin' see you, Karkat." He rarely used Karkat's full name - usually saying something along the lines of 'Karbro', 'motherfucker' or 'best friend', but.. He wanted Karkat to know. He really wanted Karkat to know just how happy he was to see him. How relieved he was. When he finally did draw back, it was to take his -->
[07:03] TC: best friend's face in his hands, and - a bold move on Gamzee's part, let his thumbs brush over those cheekbones, and he was leaning forward before he could really think it through - pressing his lips to Karkat's and slipping his fingers through the black tuffs of hair.
[07:18] TG: Karkat... never /had/ told Gamzee his views on the quadrants, had he? The stab of self-deprecation that came with Gamzee's next words was masked by his patient, needy hug. He didn't want to be pitied. But this wasn't the time or the place for him to be mired in his own shitty emotions. The use of his actual name didn't mollify him at all either; in fact it just kinda made things worse. When his moirail pulled back Karkat opened his mouth to begin delivering his reprimand when he - ...was kissed, and pet like that. Fucking shit. Just... god fucking dammit. How did he - how could he - diffuse him so easily? Even if the action was a bit more flushed than Karkat would appreciate it((that he'd admit to, anyway)) compounded his current emotions severely. His own hands lifted to grip Gamzee's wrists, ->
[07:18] TG: gently pulling his hands off his face. He looked at him, studying his eyes, his face - he was covered in Dave's blood, and it made Karkat feel guilty all over again. For more reasons than before. Guilty because Dave would have to 'forever hold his peace', and guilty because he had no idea how Gamzee was going to make it out of this. He swallowed thickly as his stomach threatened to bottom out, the prospect frightening him. "I'm scared, Gamzee," he whispered, more to himself than to the actual subject of the thought.
[07:26] TC: Gamzee felt like his heart lurched into his throat. Scared? Of what..? He looked down at himself - covered with blood, only a tiny, tiny fraction of it his own. It mostly belonged to almost everyone but his, actually. He wasn't.. Scared of him, right? When Karkat took his wrists, Gamzee almost looked hurt - more so confused than anything. He didn't fully understand why Karkat pulled away from -->
[07:31] TC: him, or why he wasn't returning his affections - or why he wasn't just.. Letting him get close, like he usually did. His stomach lurched, and suddenly - he knew what this was about. Karkat wasn't here to see him because he wanted to be, was he? He gave Karkat a long look, his jaw tight, and his expression filled with conflicted emotions, hidden anxiety, and discomfort. Then, he spoke again - -->
[07:34] TC: his voice matching his expression. It was filled with fear, the anxiety, the dread that his face held, and when he let the words pass from his lips, his voice cracked. "What did I do?" You know exactly what you did, Gamzee. You didn't think you were really going to get away with it, did you? He swallowed, letting his hands fall to his sides, slowly stepping out into the hall, away from the -->
[07:39] TC: room he knew that Karkat hated to be in. He never did like being around the bodies, did he? Gamzee let his lips part, but then they shut again - and his expression turned a little more intense. He looked concentrated, and guilty - even, because he knew. He knew that he'd done something, and he knew what it was. He advanced, his arms wrapping around his moirail again - and he let out a heavy -->
[07:41] TC: breath, his cheek pressed against Karkat's jaw. "Don't you be scared, best friend, I'll fix it. I'll motherfuckin' make it better."
[07:57] TG: Out of all the times Karkat had actually been scared of Gamzee, one would think this would constitute as a time to actually be afraid of him. But he wasn't - he was scared for him, Karkat was so fucking scared for him. Not only for the safety of Gamzee himself, but for the much more selfish reason of what Karkat would do without him. As much as he didn't want to admit or acknowledge it, he was /going/ to have to talk to Dave later. Shitty romcoms told him that. But he also owed it to the human for keeping the secret. Even if it wasn't going to be secret for long. But that didn't mean that Dave could replace Gamzee. Brows knit at the look on Gamzee's face when he spoke again, Karkat taking a difficult breath and kneading his hands nervously. "Y-you fucked up, Gamzee..." there was a lump in his throat when he tried to speak, so his words came out kinda like a whisper. And then he was hugging him again and Karkat couldn't control himself; ->
[07:57] TG: clinging tightly to his moirail and trying with everything he had in him not to get emotional. D-dammit, this was important!! "I don't th-think you can." He sniffled, his voice cracking too. "And I don't think I c-can, either." Grip tightened. "That's why I'm scared...." The last word tapered off into a squeak. Karkat was terrified. He knew what Gamzee had did was wrong, wrong, wrong. He knew it was wrong, bad, unforgiveable - by the human standards, which Karkat kinda counted himself a part of on most issues. Blackrom didn't work the same way for humans. Gamzee.... really should have asked. Been formal. Karkat knew what Gamzee did was wrong, but he couldn't... he needed Gamzee. He was the only sentient creature on this fucking rock that... he felt the way he did for. He couldn't lose that. And he was terrified that he was going to.
[09:19] TC: "No, no, I can fix it, man, I can fix it --.." He was nuzzling into his moirail's neck, holding so tightly that he was shaking, his lips pressing eagerly to Karkat's neck, his jaw, anywhere he could - just anywhere where he could show the other just how much he pitied him. How much he meant. "You don't motherfuckin' like him, man, and I hate him, brother, I hate him. He deserved it. -->
[09:21] TC: You know he motherfuckin' deserved it." Gamzee didn't know much about Karkat's situation, but he knew a little. He knew enough to where he could figure out just how to use the situation to make himself seem justified, or at least - as noble as he could. The reality of the situation was, he wanted Dave to suffer - but.. "He was all trying to take her away from you. I wanna help, man, I wanna -->
[09:22] TC: make you feel better, I wanna do everything I motherfuckin' can for you." Which was true - most of it, anyway. He was scared, too. He didn't want Karkat to hate him - he didn't want his best friend to think little of him, because he didn't have self control. He really didn't, either. There was nothing controlled about Gamzee, lately. He hated Dave. He hated him so much, and he just wanted to -->
[09:24] TC: see him beg and writhe and cry, and when he'd done it - it was satisfying. It was the best feeling. High on the feeling of the Strider clamping down on him and drunk with power - he hadn't been able to control himself when he did it. So now, he clung to his best friend, apologizing - because he know he hurt Dave. He know he fucked up, he know that he'd get better, scars would fade, but he'd -->
[09:25] TC: always remember it. So, he started talking, started babbling, pouring out everything he thought and felt because he was afraid. Gamzee was getting more and more scared the more that Karkat spoke to him like that. He wasn't afraid of being caught. He was afraid of losing his best friend. "But you don't need her. You don't need no motherfuckin' blind chick, you got me, you got me and we'll -->
[09:27] TC: always be together, brother, always." He was leaning back again, taking Karkat's face in his hands and pressing his lips to the corner of his mouth, slowly pushing his moirail up against the wall. He wanted Karkat to know how he felt. He wanted the other to know that he was starting to feel a little more than pale feelings - that he'd never hurt his best friend, that he'd -->
[09:28] TC: never cause him any pain. He wanted Karkat to know how much he meant. So he was pressing his lips to the other's, again, capturing the other's lower in between his, hands running from his neck to his collarbone. He had him practically pinned - his hips pushing against Karkat's abdomen as he leant down, pressing his lips to the other's so eagerly, so desperately - and filled with fear, too, -->
[09:30] TC: and it was almost as if he if he was silently saying, /"Protect me from them, and I'll protect you from yourself"/. When he pulled away, he was hanging onto Karkat again, his eyes closed and his face nuzzled against his moirail's hair. He was scared, he was acting out - he was being more affectionate and touchy than he'd ever been before, but understandably so. He was starting to realize that -->
[09:32] TC: he didn't know when his next chance would be, since Karkat didn't see visit him in his hiding too often. He didn't know when the other was going to show up near him again, and he didn't know whether or not one day he'd open the door to his current hiding place - and it wouldn't be his best friend standing there. "I fucked up, I fucked up so bad, man, but I'm yours - always been yours, just.. -->
[09:33] TC: Don't motherfuckin' give up on me."
[14:23] TG: "H-how?" he whimpered, shaking his head. How was he going to fix this? Dave was a wreck. Dave was certifiably a wreck. And it didn't matter how much he didn't like Dave, they were - they were all in this together. If they started picking each other off... Karkat had already lost so many people. He may not have liked Dave, but he respected him - and he didn't want to lose him, too. "He didn't--" He didn't think he deserved it. He looked like he had lost all hope in the entire world, like he had absolutely nothing left. It hurt him to see Dave like that - he sympathized, and it made his heart bleed for him. Rose and Kanaya wouldn't think he deserved it. Rose and Kanaya were the ones he was scared of. Aradia might have even been proud of him, Karkat didn't know where her fucking loyalties were these days. Sol? It pained Karkat to think that he hadn't talked to /his/ best friend since... they got here. Since he watched him overexert himself, and die. He missed Sollux. "I don't fucking care about Terezi," he challeneged. And now he knew deep down that Dave didn't, either. He didn't need Gamzee's help with his quadrants, goddammit. When the Capricorn pulled back to look him in the eyes Karkat's brows were pinched, and he looked so upset... so utterly at a loss. He wanted to cry. He knew it was fucking stupid, he had no reason to cry, but he couldn't help it. He was fucking terrified. Things were falling apart so fast and Karkat had no idea what to do about it; Kanaya was going to find out and she was going to kill Gamzee. Rose was going to find out and she was going to assist in killing Gamzee. And they'd both come after Karkat, because 'poor Dave Strider isn't a coolkid anymore'. Even as he thought that he swore at himself for it. No. Dave didn't deserve whatever had happened to him. He'd said repeatedly that he fucked up. This could have meant anything. He needed... to know. "Gamzee," he began through the kisses, really fucking unsure of if he should reciprocate them or not. He wanted to, but his terror had his stomach in knots. He didn't know what he was feeling. Pale? Flushed? Every emotion seemed to bleed into another these days. Hands lifted to his moirail's cheeks, studying his eyes with difficulty. "I kn-know you're mine. And I will never fucking give up on you. But...." He took a deep breath, fighting the urge to break eye contact. But he couldn't. He fucking couldn't. "What did you do to Dave?" He had an idea, but maybe his wild fucking imgination was skipping around to stupid things. Maybe he was thinking about it too much. Maybe... But deep down he knew it was something terrible, something unforgiveable. Karkat could forgive him. But he knew no one else would.
TC: He bristled. What he did? Karkat wanted to know what he did, and.. He didn't want to tell him. Oh, no. Not one inch of Gamzee wanted to tell Karkat what he'd done to Dave - because even he - even Gamzee, who had trouble discerning right from wrong, knew what he did wasn't right. It wasn't right by human or troll culture - taking someone against their will like that. So - his hold on his -->
moirail tightened, and he grit his teeth together. He tried to look as normal as he could. His eyes reverting back to their half-lidded state, his face relaxing - even though everything in his eyes could've told Karkat that he was anything but calm. Anything but normal. In fact - he was panicked, and it was beginning to show in his body language, the way he stiffened, the way he tried to avoid -->
avoid the other's gaze, the way that he trembled in Karkat's grasp. It was getting to be more and more obvious that he was unnerved, but his face remained blank. Then - he took the other's hands away from his face, pulling those arms around his own waist - and he was encircling his moirail, tugging him to his chest again, and in a quiet, almost inaudible voice, the Capricorn murmured against -->
Karkat's ear. "I pailed him. I fucked him, and he said no. He motherfuckin' begged." His blood-pusher was beating so roughly inside his chest, and he didn't know he could be this panicked. Not once did he ever think that he would be afraid of his best friend hating him. Yet, he was. He was terrified - and once again, through his body language, he showed it by clinging as tightly as he -->
physically could, as if believing that if he let go - he'd lose Karkat forever.
TG:	Karkat's hand lifted to his mouth - it was open in mild shock. As much as he'd heard Dave speak, he could never /ever/ imagine the words 'please', or 'don't' or 'stop' leaving Strider's mouth. What little colour ever lived in KK's face drained from it, and he felt his knees weaken. It was a good thing Gamzee was holding onto him so tightly. He'd never... expected Gamzee... Sure, he killed and pillaged - but something like... like that? Dave's appearance, his demeanor, the way he'd look so defeated, so dead inside, so hopeless... It made sense now. It made sense and he too felt ill, a sudden chill running through him. If... if Karkat.... Could Karkat make Gamzee mad enough to... To want to do something.... like... to him...? He shivered at the thought, and wasn't entirely sure of the answer ->
one way or another. He didn't... he didn't hate Gamzee for what he did. He was a bit... wary, of him; he was a bit wary and he felt really fucking sorry for Dave. He didn't deserve that. And he felt responsible, somehow. Like he should have paid more attention to Gamzee, should have been around to keep an eye on him. He should have been a better moirail. Karkat didn't say anything - he couldn't. Rendered speechless, he leaned there, hugged against him. If the Capricorn let go, he was sure he'd fall over.
TC:	"You don't understand, man, you don't get it." He was holding tighter and tighter, his face buried in Karkat's neck - and a smile plastered onto his face. He was still scared, though - and everything that he did was putting that fact on display. "It was his fault. It was his fault this motherfuckin happened to me. He sent it to me, did you know that?" His hold tightened, and before he knew -->
what he was doing, he was lowering them both to the floor, his brows knit tightly on his face and his nose never leaving the crook of Karkat's neck. He needed his best friend. "That fuckin' blasphemy. Sent me over the edge, man, didn't make me wanna be myself no more. No more motherfuckin' miracles, no more." He took the shorter troll into his lap, lips pressing against his neck. "The shit he -->
was doin' -.. He was with her all the motherfuckin' time, he was always hangin' with her and it made you feel like shit, right? You told me a lil bit, man, you told me a little. Not much but I motherfuckin' knew that." His voice was surprisingly calm, and he was sure that Karkat couldn't see his grin, but the fact that his lips were pressed up against skin was probably giving it away. "Wasn't -->
nothin' flushed. I hate him, brother. I motherfuckin' hate him. Wanted to see him suffer for what he did to me. What he did to you." Yet, there was still a quiver at the end of the sentence, and he was digging his nails into the other's back, withdrawing his had and pressing his lips to his moirail's cheeks. "Nobody fucks with you like that, nobody. You got my motherfuckin' clown ass to back -->
you up, and I just wanted to make shit right. Make it /even/." He growled the last word, the smile fading from his face as he withdrew, looking his best friend in the eye. "Don't be mad, man. Don't be mad."
TG:	He sat with him, kinda in a bit of a daze. Sent him... that thing? The thing about whatever it is that Gamzee listened to? He vaguely recalled that. That was when he'd tried to make Karkat listen to him, and he hadn't. Ouch. He recalled it, now... When Gamzee went crazy. He shuddered again. And - oh. Yeah he - Karkat didn't know how he felt about Terezi. He was definitely jealous that Dave spent so much time with her, but it wasn't worth... He didn't want... Gamzee pulled back and he looked into his moirail's eyes, his own wide and frightened. He was scared for Gamzee, scared for himself, and scared for Dave. "Y-you didn't... didn't have to... He didn't deserve that." Gamzee could have gotten even another way, couldn't he? Take a note from Vriska or something and do something shady and sinister but don't fucking - don't do that. Fuck, Karkat would have even been okay with him roughing him up into the state he was in but... none of the pailing. ->
That was taking it too far. He knew it wasn't flushed. Karkat knew that Gamzee was extremely capable of pure black. Dave was doing a good job as an example. His earlier concern resurfaced, and he shuddered again, looking back at him. "Wh-what if... I made you mad..." Mad enough to feel the need to make shit right. He shrunk back a fraction of an inch. He could appreciate what Gamzee had done for him, but he went about it the totally wrong way. That wasn't how he handled things. He should have found Karkat. He should have found help. He should have just told him to go away. That wasn't... He shouldn't have... "Would you get even with me?"
TC:	"No, no, fuck, don't think that, man, don't you motherfuckin' think that for a second. Don't you dare think that, brother, not with you. Not you." Gamzee held tightly onto his best friend, his moirail - and pressed his head back against the other troll's lips, his eyes slipping shut and his hands coming to slip behind Karkat's head, pulling him closer. "I'd never hurt you. I'd never lay a hand -->
on you, brother. Not.." His fingers ran through Karkat's hair and he was pressing his lips a little more eagerly, his other hand slipping around the other's waist. "Unless you wanted me to." It was barely a whisper - his lips ghosting back over his moirail's and the hand around Karkat's waist trailing down to his hip, and then to his leg - slipping up and around it, swallowing roughly, before -->
he pulled away, looking back at his best friend with a sharper gaze - his brows knit tightly together. The smile was completely gone from his face, now. "Why not me, Karkat?" It was soft, it was barely there, and he was cupping the shorter troll's cheeks, thumbs running over the cheekbones there. "Man, I.. Just wanna do what's motherfuckin' best for you, man, I just.. I just wanna make you -->
motherfuckin' happy, you know?" He swallowed again, his eyes searching the other's, his hands running down from his cheeks to his neck, letting his thumbpads trail across his neck. "I can do it, too, we can be together, fuck, I'm.." He trailed off, the dried blood on his hands making his touches a little rougher than they should've been, his lips stained with the red he'd coaxed out of Dave -->
and his hands moving from Karkat's neck to his hair, not really knowing where to go or where to put themselves. So they busied themselves, running through the locks. He let his face relax, and when he spoke - it was calm again, almost eerily so. Like he had to shut down everything just to utter the words he wanted to speak. "Motherfuckin' flushed. Don't be mad, Karkat, don't be motherfuckin' mad."
TG:	Karkat huddled against him, thinkpan doing some serious acrobatics. This was so fucked up. It was fucked up beyond any reason he could ever try and comprehend. He had a headache and he couldn't think straight. Too much was going on right now. Too much. Way too much. He shivered as the hand moved from waist, to hip, to leg, eyes finding Gamzee's when he pulled back. Confusion crept into his features as he spoke, asked that question... His fingers were dirty, covered in a human's blood and it made him feel sicker, but he couldn't move - he was transfixed by the actions, by his words - /why not me/. Karkat swallowed uneasily as the hands circled his throat, recalling the bruises that were flowering over Dave's neck that he saw when the kid's hood fell. The touches /were/ rough and the breath he took was shaky, every part of him was shaky and he couldn't control it. He couldn't fucking concentrate. Light-headedness gripped him when Gamzee finished that thought, the words a fucking right hook into his stomach. ->
And his heart. He couldn't be mad. He wasn't. He just... "Y-you can't... you can't do this to me..." Chin dropped to his chest and his hands covered his face, heels of his palms grinding into his eyes. No, Karkat. Don't you fucking cry. What was really best for Karkat? He honestly had no idea. "I'm not mad... I'm not mad..." He had no idea what to do. Colours ran through his head - red, pale, black, ashen - they were all mixing together and he had no idea what sort-of sense they had, if any at all. "I don't know what the fucking fuck to do." Everyone was going to want to kill Gamzee. Quadrants were really the last thing on his mind right now but he had to protect Gamzee. At all costs. He couldn't.... lose this. Whatever the fuck it was. He was so stressed, he was so tired, he was so scared - he was so crying. ->
They were going to find him and kill him because he was a shit moirail. He couldn't let that happen. But he didn't know what the fuck to do. He felt such a muddle of emotions for the stupid murderous troll and if he could just fucking pick one of them out that'd be a good fucking start.
TC:	Gamzee shook his head, his brows knitting and - finally, the panic setting in. Can't do this to him? Do what to him? He took Karkat's face in his hands, closing the distance - their faces inches away from eachother and a frown working it's way on his face. His paint was all but gone by now, the scars on his face showing obviously on his features. "No, no, shit, man.. Don't you be motherfuckin' -->
sayin' that, don't you be sayin' something like that, man.. It ain't unheard of, you know some motherfuckers who have switched quadrants before? Why not me, huh? Why not me?" His grip was getting a little tighter. He really should have focused on what he was going to do. On the fact that he seriously messed up, but no - he didn't. In fact, that was the last thing on his mind - the only thing -->
that he could think of, was the fact that Karkat was in his lap, the fact that he was about to cry, and the fact that Gamzee messed up and made him cry, again. How many times has he done this, now? He was a disappointment - Gamzee knew that much. He knew how bad he was to his moirail, to his.. Flushcrush, would be an accurate term by now, and as much as he wanted to regret the things -->
he'd done, he just couldn't.. Find the fault in them. More than half of the time, he didn't even know what was so wrong about it. Just like this. He knew he fucked up, but that was just about all he knew. He didn't know why, and he didn't know why Karkat was crying - other than the fact that he'd just said he was flushed for him. Gamzee pressed his moirail up against the wall, scooting him -->
back farther, angling him so one of Karkat's leg was on either side of his waist. "Don't worry, just don't worry, okay, motherfucker? You ain't gotta worry about it, shit's gonna be fine. I'm yours, Karbro, ain't nobody but yours." He was running his hands through Karkat's hair, across his cheeks, over his face - just anywhere he could touch, anywhere that he could feel and memorize the way -->
that he felt against his fingerpads. He saw Karkat's palms come to his eyes, and he gently pried them away so he could wipe away the tears with his thumbs - so he could help his best friend out, so he could make him feel better when he was obviously in some sort of crisis. Gamzee still didn't seem to understand that it was because of the fact that his best friend didn't want to lose him. -->
No, the only thing he could think of was the fact that he'd crossed a line somehow. "You're cryin' brother. You're motherfucking crying. I made you sad, didn't I?" He was getting frustrated. He didn't understand - he should've understood, but he didn't. There were a million things crossing his mind, fleeting thoughts of what he could've done and then nothing, because Gamzee just.. He found -->
shivering, taking Karkat's face in his hands again and speaking up - this time his tone a little rougher and his frustration showing through. "What did I do, man? What the motherfuck did I do?"
TG:	Gamzee's words were a bit of background noise to him right now, the troll still trying to make sense of everything - fuck, anything - that was going on. They shouldn't be sitting here, out in the open, where Kanaya or Rose could come find them at any second. They could probably take out the both of them, close as they were together. Fuck, Karkat didn't really have much of a purpose anyway, did he? The less trolls the kids had to deal with the better, afterall. All Karkat did was fuck up. Give universes cancer. Get wicked jealous of things he shouldn't have gotten wicked jealous over. Be a shitty moirail. Wow. Karkat was pretty much the worst thing on this fucking meteor. He couldn't even say he was better than Gamzee; because if he had done his fucking job and was actually a moirail shit like this wouldn't happen. He shook his head miserably. No, Gamzee didn't make him sad. He made himself sad. Eyes were once again on his. "Y-you didn't..." ->
That was a bit of a lie. A lot of the stress and anxiety he was feeling right now were Gamzee's fault. But he couldn't say that. 'I c-can't lose you. And I'm scared that I'm going to. I don't kn-know if I can protect you from them." He felt so much guilt it made him physically wince; guilt for Gamzee, guilt for Dave, guilt for feeling jealous of Terezi and Dave hanging out which is what played a huge part in what happened. He exhaled shakily, eyes sore from trying to hold back his tears. Which he was also doing a shitty job of doing. Fuck.
TC:	"I don't need no motherfuckin' protecting, Karbro, they ain't gonna do shit to me." He muttered it, pressing his face back against the other's neck, his brows knitted tightly and his arms wrapping securely around Karkat's waist again. That neck really did seem to be his favorite spot - he felt comfortable, he felt safe, there, like nothing could bother him, hurt him, get to him - when he was -->
there, pressed against Karkat's shoulder and neck, hidden away from the world. The reasons that the Capricorn attacked, more than often, weren't because he doing it out of animosity, or maliciousness - no, it was because he didn't know better. Well, he did and he didn't. Somethings he knew were wrong, but they just didn't connect. He couldn't figure out WHY it was wrong. Just like with what -->
happened to Dave. He didn't understand why it was such a terrible thing. He was a troll, right? Didn't they attack like that, anyway? Weren't they a violent race, killers, made for this sort of thing? Yet, they were all angry with him. Then again, this time, what he did wasn't even alright by troll standards. Shuddering, he nuzzled against the shorter troll, and for a moment, he felt relieved. -->
Relieved that Karkat wasn't angry at him or sad because of him, because he felt flushed. The fact that he was worried about Kanaya attacking him, or the others wanting to kill him - that didn't make him do much more than give out a little laugh, his hands moving to Karkat's sides and trailing up his shirt, just wandering, feeling the skin and wanting to really memorize it. -->
"You don't need to motherfuckin' worry about that, Karbro. Don't matter if they come or not. Don't wanna have to fight those motherfuckers, but if they get their attack on, you know that I ain't gonna be kickin' back my mercy. They attack, they're motherfuckin' gone, brother." He nuzzled again, nails lightly scraping across the skin. "Then it'd be just you and me, motherfucker. You and me.."
TG:	In an act that almost seemed to be against his will his arms rose, winding around Gamzee's neck and hugging him tightly. He didn't like what he said. He didn't like that he felt like he didn't need to be protected. There were a lot of people and trolls on this meteor that wouldn't think twice about annihilating the Capricorn. For everything that he had done, and for things that he probably would do. A lot of it would have to do with Dave, seeing as the kids weren't really attached to the trolls that much. Terezi had already exacted her revenge on Vriska, and Karkat really had no idea what to think of any motives Sollux might have. He missed Sollux. A lot. A part of him wanted to find him and just... talk. And Aradia - she was pretty fucked up too, but she really didn't seem like she would be too hard to convince into a clown hunt. "D-don't say that," he stammered, losing the battle once again against crying. "No more fighting, no m-more dying, no more k-killing, please, fuck-" If he could have a selfish moment... ->
hadn't Karkat seen enough? He'd already watched Sollux die twice, already knocked out his teeth and blinded him. He'd been fucked up himself, and he really just... He hated it. As violent, yes, as trolls were supposed to be Karkat hated every last bit of it. He cried against him, tired and exhausted and fucking... confused and anxious. He really WAS worried. And a part of him knew that he could convince Gamzee to back down if the need arose. He didn't want it to. He wanted him to be safe and protected. There had to be another, more hidden room on this fucking hunk of rock that he could keep Gamzee in. Long enough to convince them to leave him alone, long enough to convince them that he didn't need to be killed. He knew Kanaya, and he knew her cunning. She could kill both of them before they even had a chance to piss themselves in fear.
TC:	Gamzee leant into every touch his moirail gave him. The way Karkat held him, the way he cried, the way that he stuttered - it all made the pity he felt for his moirail grow stronger. He just wanted to forget this. To forget all of it, to forget the difficulty that he'd experienced with Dave, to forget the things he'd done to the sweaty guy and the catgirl, to just forget all of it. He didn't -->
want Karkat to have to worry. He didn't even want the others AROUND him anymore. He didn't want any of them near Karkat, either. All he wanted was for it to be those two - Karkat and Gamzee, just them, floating on some stupid rock without having to worry about an angry rainbow drinker or some stupid coolkid that had taunted him, and he'd made the mistake of listening to his instincts. He just -->
wanted it to be them. Only them. He just wanted his Karkat, he just wanted no one else. "Why Terezi? Why you want her so motherfuckin' bad?" And then it came back to this. It was like Gamzee was in some sort of loop, and he was holding onto Karkat so tightly that he was hurting HIMSELF, and probably Karkat too. His muscles ached and he could feel tears of his own prickle at the corner of his -->
eyes, but not from the same reason that Karkat had been crying. No, he was sad because he still didn't understand. He just didn't GET it. While he knew logically that it was wrong, apparently - he didn't make the connection, and it upset him. It upset him, feeling like he'd done nothing wrong and knowing that people will be out to get him if the others find out it was him that'd done what he -->
had to Dave, but mostly - mostly he was frustrated, sad, angry, because Karkat didn't answer him, and it felt like a rejection. So - he almost felt like he was beginning to get angry, his hold stubborn, and he repeated himself. "Why not me? You forgetting about me like the rest of the motherfuckers on this rock?" He quivered. "You don't come to see me much anymore, man. You fuckin' forgot."
TG:	Karkat squeezed just as tightly as he could; he didn't care that Gamzee was upset at what he said ((he did care, but he didn't at the same time)), all he cared about was being held, held close, against someone that he knew he couldn't live without. The jealousy Gamzee felt was actually really comforting, even if it did upset the Capricorn enough to repeat it so many fucking times. Karkat... just.... He couldn't say Terezi understood, because she didn't. She was just so fucking... elusive and coy, and knew how to jerk him around. She also had the extreme advantage of knowing his blood colour before anyone else, and the fact that she didn't treat him any differently for it was a little exhilirating. She called him cute a lot, which confused him, but at the same time he liked the attention. He talked to Terezi so easily that he wondered why they hadn't talked more before the whole thing started. He'd even wanted her to move in next door to him once. ->
That might have been the loneliness, though. "I don't," he eventually responded with. He didn't want her. The more he thought of it, the more it was just raw jealousy. Because she and him used to have such good talks, and now she was just with Dave all the time. It was the fact that he /couldn't/ have her that made her enticing to him. He really just wanted her friendship, and he felt like he was losing it. So he was desperate, and it made his feelings for her seem flushed. They weren't. And why not Gamzee? Maybe he ered on the side of flushed for Terezi because, out of everyone here, she was... normal. Comparatively. She was more self-reliant, didn't require constant supervision, didn't go off killing and pailing people against their will. Manageable. And maybe not Gamzee because Karkat didn't want to admit feelings for him that he was so confused about. Maybe not Gamzee because Karkat was such a trainwreck constantly. He couldn't forget about Gamzee, ->
not when he was constantly worried about him and his well being. He couldn't visit Gamzee, because the smell of blood and decay made him violently ill. And so it was an overwhelming sense of guilt that kept him between a rock and a hard place with his moirail. He couldn't do that to Gamzee. He couldn't force him to put up with his overwhelming list of shortcomings. "I can't forget about you," he whimpered. "Y-you're the only thing I ever think about." Amongst everything else, Gamzee was always on his mind. Where he was, what he was doing, if he was safe, if someone had found him that might want to hurt him - if he was fidgety constantly, it was because he wanted to be a good moirail. But he got so caught up in everything else... his distraction turned into neglect. "I'm a sh-shitty moirail, Gamzee. I'm sorry."
TC: Gamzee tightened his hold. Karkat just wasn't getting THE POINT. His nails were digging into the other's skin, and he was trying so hard not to - he didn't want to hurt his moirail, he didn't want to hurt Karkat like he'd hurt Dave, but it was so upsetting to him - the fact that Karkat seemed to skirt around his flushed feelings, that he was ignoring the fact that Gamzee was blatantly saying -->
to him that he felt flushed, that he wanted him, that he wanted to be more than they were and that he'd do so much for him, and he really would, too. He'd rip off his own skin and eat it for Karkat, because while he felt pale in the aspects that he wanted to take care of him - he felt flushed. He thought about his moirail every day, and the thoughts that ran through his head were usually far -->
more than pale. "Don't want me because I'm too fucked up, right?" He didn't care about what he did to Dave, but obviously Karkat did. The fact that he didn't care was the problem. The fact that he could do that to someone without even the slightest bit of remorse, the fact that he could rip apart the boy's resolve and just laugh at it - that wasn't normal. He should've been concerned with -->
the others and their reactions, he should've been concerned about ANYTHING but the fact that Karkat hadn't responded to him the way he'd wanted him to. Yet, he couldn't. He was stuck in a loop. He'd been wanting to say it for half a sweep, he'd been wanting to get it out and tell his best friend what was really going through his mind, he'd just wanted to SEE him but Karkat was never there. -->
So now, only after he'd done something horrific, did his moirail show. Now, only now that he was reduced to shaking, only after he'd fucked up royally, did Karkat come, did he say all of these things to make Gamzee feel better, did he say he was a shitty moirail. Only now did he come. "I'm so motherfucking flushed for you. You just don't motherfucking get it, do you?" No, he didn't. He didn't -->
get it. He didn't think that he was ever going to get it, either - because what Karkat was revolving around was /I'm a shitty moirail, this is no one's fault but mine, I always think about you/, and every word sent a pang of hurt through his blood-pusher. "Think about me all the motherfucking time, huh?" They had started leaking out, now - the tears streaming down his cheeks, but he looked -->
more angry than anything. Abandonment, as much as he'd hide it, as much as he'd never tell anyone - not even Karkat, was one of his greatest fears, and this? "IT GETS SO MOTHERFUCKING LONELY, ALWAYS LOCKED AWAY, NOT A SINGLE MOTHERFUCKER AROUND ME. All I think about is you, man, all you, only motherfucking you and you don't ever come to me." This stung worse than losing Tavros, this stung -->
worse than anything he'd ever felt, because the one living being that he was willing to give everything to, the one living being he thought would never leave him - only came to him to tell him that he'd fucked up.
TG:	He shivered as the claws dug into his arms, a short whimper leaving him. He knew what that meant and Karkat was not prepared for this, he wasn't prepared for the mood shift. He'd fucked up, too - Karkat was such a selfish little fuck. It always boiled down to him in one way or another even if he didn't mean for it to. Christ he couldn't even feel sorry for himself properly. Karkat couldn't reciprocate the flushed feelings. He wanted to. He had them. They were there. But he'd buried them so far down in himself, convincing himself - /lying/ to himself that they weren't worth a fucking damn, that they were totally unwarranted, because mutants shouldn't feel this way. He shouldn't have been alive. Some miraculous fucking happenstance brought him to be alive today and he shouldn't have been. This is why Karkat behaved the way he did. He was never meant to exist. Some insane fucking accident and here he was - held in the arms of someone that he wanted desperately to be with more than anything else, but the one person he couldn't ever say anything about it to because the repercussions were horrific. In his mind. ->
He shivered as the claws dug into his arms, a short whimper leaving him. He knew what that meant and Karkat was not prepared for this, he wasn't prepared for the mood shift. He'd fucked up, too - Karkat was such a selfish little fuck. It always boiled down to him in one way or another even if he didn't mean for it to. Christ he couldn't even feel sorry for himself properly. Karkat couldn't reciprocate the flushed feelings. He wanted to. He had them. They were there. But he'd buried them so far down in himself, convincing himself - /lying/ to himself that they weren't worth a fucking damn, that they were totally unwarranted, because mutants shouldn't feel this way. He shouldn't have been alive. Some miraculous fucking happenstance brought him to be alive today and he shouldn't have been. This is why Karkat behaved the way he did. He was never meant to exist. Some insane fucking accident and here he was - held in the arms of someone that he ->
wanted desperately to be with more than anything else, but the one person he couldn't ever say anything about it to because the repercussions were horrific. In his mind. In his mind he wasn't good enough, in his mind he was running to stand still and he hated it. Constantly trying his hardest to do anything right and failing. He shook his head desperately. N-not fucked up. That wasn't why - wasn't why he... didn't reciprocate. "N-no-" he sobbed once Gamzee's voice pitched louder, flashbacks of running around terrified with Sollux, trying desperately to hide from the Capricorn's murderous rampage striking into his mind. Arms pulled back, hands covering his ears. Stop yelling. Stop yelling. Not this again. He couldn't do this. He couldn't run from Gamzee again, he couldn't save Sollux or Equius or Nepeta or anyone - he was too weak, too useless, too fucking stupid. "I c-couldn't even save you," he sputtered, eyes closed, tears streaming down his face, ->
head bent forward, hands still over his ears. "Th-the fact that I can't ev-even fucking hold you together, Gamzee... The f-fact that I can't even be a good f-fucking moirail to you... I'd be a shitty matesprit. Like we're t-talking nobel fucking asshole prize f-for worst matesprit ever. I /force/ my f-f-feelings for you to be p-pale because I can't f-fucking... /do/ this to you. I'm r-red and it sucks, because f-fuck. If I can't be a g-good moirail what the ever-loving fuck makes you think I'd b-be a good matesprit? I d-don't want you to be flushed for s-someone that treats you like shit wh-when you don't deserve it." He stopped to catch his breath, words spoken so fast and mumbled he wasn't breathing. "God fucking dammit G-Gamzee I love you too much to-" But he stopped himself, hands sliding from his ->
ears to his mouth, staring blankly past Gamzee. Had he just said that? The 'L' word that he promised himself he'd never fucking say? It wasn't like Gamzee would understand it anyway. But a really, really small part of him hoped that he would. He couldn't say he was flushed. Because that's not what Karkat called it.
TC:	Gamzee was in the middle of some sort of breakdown. It just didn't seem fair to him. It didn't seem fair that Dave, and Rose, even though they were some sort of.. Strange-colored lowbloods, and not even /trolls/ could get more respect than he could. That they could go out, that they could walk around the meteor without having to worry about having a troll or human or just.. Anyone on their -->
tail. They didn't have to worry about having their lives put in danger all the time, because they 'did nothing wrong' to anyone else. Even when it was one of THEM who had triggered Gamzee's freak out, even though it was one of THEM who made him lose faith, who made him freak out so badly, they were always the victim. Never Gamzee. He rarely cried. Usually, he kept it to himself. He hid his -->
feelings, he kept them all suppressed because he never wanted to be a burden to anyone - that, and.. Even if he was willing to burden someone with them, he never knew how to handle them. Now, though, Gamzee wept openly, although with an angry expression - and when he saw Karkat pull away from him, put his hands over his ears - there was a strangled noise that escaped his lips that he couldn't -->
hold back no matter how hard he tried. He just wasn't good enough anymore, was he? Then again, by the way Karkat used to speak to him - he never was. Worst best friend. He heard Karkat put himself down - but the only thing it was telling him was that he was a burden. Karkat couldn't handle him - he didn't want to handle him. When did he ever, though? "You're gone all the MOTHERFUCKING time. -->
How can you ever even say you motherfuckin' tried if you wasn't ever AROUND?" His hands shook, and before he really knew what he was doing, he was taking Karkat by the arm, his hold tight enough to bruise and pushing his moirail up against the wall, the purple tinted liquid trailing down his cheeks and his expression screwed up with so much heartache it could've been almost painful to look at. -->
Gamzee felt abandoned. He'd been abandoned by his lusus, and then he'd been abandoned by his moirail. "You're motherfuckin' good when you actually TRY, when you don't leave me all the motherfuck alone in a shitty, dark room to rot by myself and barely show your ass up to see me!" His voice was escalating, and it wasn't because he wanted to hurt his best friend. It wasn't because he wanted to -->
hurt his best friend. It wasn't because he wanted to inflict any emotional damage, it was because he was aching himself. "For how much you motherfuckin' talk about bein' afraid of losing me, you sure as shit don't make a fuck-damned effort to take care of me." He let go - soon enough realizing that he was squeezing too tight. He was physically hurting him, wasn't he? Just like he promised he -->
wouldn't. Gamzee let go with a shaky sigh, the distress showing in his features and his breath hitching. He never let anyone see him cry, but he didn't even try to stop.

Until he heard Karkat say he loved him.

"..What the fuck do you mean by that? This some sort of motherfucking joke?" Love wasn't used to describe romance. Love wasn't a troll emotion. He choked on his own sob again - but -->
managed to keep it quiet, holding completely still. Was he really that much of a monster?
TG:	A terrified cry left him as his arms were grabbed, Karkat squeezing his eyes closed and trying to breathe. He couldn't /do/ this. Maybe he should just leave. Fuck, he wasn't god-tier. He could just jump off the stupid meteor and never come back. Yeah, it'd hurt Gamzee for a while but wouldn't the negation of the stress he continually caused doing stupid stuff like this be better than Karkat constantly being around, constantly upsetting him, constantly doing things that hurt him? The pain of his death would hurt his moirail for a while. But at that point it didn't fucking matter, did it? Karkat would be gone and he wouldn't have to worry about another fucking thing ever again. Maybe this was just another doomed timeline where he was destined to feel like shit for his entire fucking miserable life. ->

Because well fucking christ, it sure felt that way. Any chance he'd ever had at actually being fucking HAPPY was always dashed to bits because he was a horrible person. He'd been right, so long ago - 'maybe I committed some unspeakable evil and I'm being punished for it'. Living was punishment enough. His hands were starting to tingle, the stricture of Gamzee's hold cutting off the circulation to them. He almost wished he could make Gamzee mad enough to kill him. It'd be bittersweet, wouldn't it? Another two-point vocab word he'd picked up from his romcoms. "O-ow," he whimpered, and as if his moirail had heard him he was let go, hands pulling to his chest to protect himself from... everything. A joke? He thought it was a joke? "Y-yeah, it's a fucking joke, Gamzee. It's a fucking joke how fucked up my head is, ->
that I can't fucking think st-straight because you make me feel a f-f-fucking emotion I'm not supposed to fucking HAVE. Really fucking hilarious, we're talking Comedy Central Presents Karkat fucking Vantas stand-up hour where he stands o-on stage and cries for 45 minutes - can't f-forget commercial breaks - about how his moirail, that's YOU, fuck-o, doesn't unders-stand. About how it fucking tears him up inside, about how he wishes he could k-kill himself for feeling like a fucking /human/ over a god-damn-fucking troll that ritualistically abuses him and makes him feel like sh-shit. Not only b-because he's a shitty moirail, b-but also because he c-can't... c-can't..." He couldn't breathe. Weakly pushing against Gamzee he stood, stumbling a few steps away before he fell to his hands and knees; dry heaving, hyperventilating, and sobbing. Yeah. Really fucking funny-ass joke. And Karkat was the punchline.
TC:	No. Gamzee would never be able to handle losing Karkat. If it wasn't for Karkat, Gamzee wouldn't stop until they were all gone - until they were nothing more but paint on his fingers, and if it wasn't for KarKat - he'd be alone. He'd be alone and miserable, even more so than he already was. He saw Karkat dry-heave - he saw him lurch over and it made his blood-pusher ache, but not nearly as much as it hurt to listen to him speak those words. His breathing came in uneven waves, choppy breaths leaving his lips and entering again. He was shaking, he was trembling, he was furious and he was sad all at once. He listened. He listened to every word that Karkat spoke, with a quivering lip and wet cheeks - and his eyes sharp and calculated, like they so often were these days. Yet, then - he froze. All movements stopped and he looked.. Almost shocked. "I abuse you, huh? Make you feel like shit?" So that was it, wasn't it? That was why Karkat never saw him? Was Gamzee really so terrible? "You don't even stop to motherfuckin think about what's going through my head, do you, Karbro? You say -->
ALL this motherfuckin' shit about how you're feelin' things you shouldn't, feeling like a fuckin' human - whatever that means, because I ain't got a clue - and you let me rot all by myself. You let me go so MOTHERFUCKING far into this SHIT that I can't get my motherfuckin' self under control and you're a fucking victim, is that it?" Other than the occasional rising of his voice, he would've sounded calm had he been speaking to anyone other than Karkat. His moirail knew him well enough to know that he was suppressing again - that he was holding back his emotions and the will to scream, because he didn't want to hurt his best friend. He didn't want to do any worse than he already had, which apparently - was more than he thought, and more often than he thought. The only thing other than the fluctuations in his tone that would've given him away was the fact that he was still crying. Karkat hadn't commented on that, or done anything other than break down himself. Idly - he wondered if it even mattered. If Karkat hadn't noticed his tears, or if he just didn't care. This was the first -->
time he'd cried in front of Karkat. In front of anyone, actually. So - he found himself snaking up towards his moirail, wrapping his arms around his waist, and burying his face against the other's back - the wetness soaking through his shirt and Gamzee's hold as tight as he could make it. Maybe Karkat was right - and he was the victim. "I know I'm a fuckup." He just didn't want to be alone anymore.
TG:	Finished heaving, he attempted to catch his breath. He couldn't. He felt Gamzee's arms around him and his hands gripped at his moirail's, groaning and leaning back into him. "F-fuck.. don't cry... god I'm sorry..." He loved him. He loved him so hard it hurt. Chest rose and fell with deep, shuddering breaths, the troll still hyperventilating. Shit. This was... What worse could go wrong, really? Why didn't he just accept it? Because the feelings weren't the same. Gamzee was flushed, Karkat was in love. They were two different feelings, although entirely similar. "P-please stop yelling," he breathed weakly. "J-just..." Similar wish, Karkat wanted Gamzee to not be mad. Please don't be mad at Karkat. If anyone was a fuckup it was him - and it had nothing to do with being the victim. "I'm s-sorry. I'm flushed, okay? That's the easiest... e-easiest way I can say it. I'm sorry I say things that d-don't make sense, things that make you angry." Don't be upset with Karkat... don't feel like you had to get even. That was another big fear of Karkat's - that they'd get close, ->
change quadrants.. and that he'd do something huge to fuck it up, upset Gamzee, and have to do something to make it better. Fuck, he'd already screwed up and was trying to make amends now. "P-please... don't be angry at me... I love you... Don't cry." He hated that. Gamzee never cried. Despite being fucking batshit insane, he was also one of the strongest trolls he knew. It made him even more scared... that Karkat could do this to him. He enjoyed being held like that, of all things. He leaned back against Gamzee and was calming down, even if the Capricorn wasn't able to. He hugged to the hands around him tighter, trying to get his breathing under control. "Gamzee..." he whispered. Seriously, what the fuck else could go wrong? "...Gamzee..."
TC:	Gamzee shook a little bit, trembling against Karkat's form and sniffling a little bit to keep himself from getting more than tears on his moirail's back. He was apologizing. He took hold of Karkat's hand, burying his head into the back of his neck - and held tighter. He was still covered in blood. Covered in blood and he probably smelled terrible - like sex and blood and faint traces of things that he was sure his moirail didn't want to think about. He smelled like what he surrounded himself with all day. He heard his moirail tell him not to cry, and he couldn't help but let out a slight choked sound, a soft /I fucking can't./, because really, he couldn't. Karkat was the only one - the only one who could ever do this to him. He suppressed and he suppressed and that was just what he'd always done - but around his moirail, around his flushcrush - he couldn't help the pour of emotion that would escape him sometimes. He was just tired of being alone. He was tired of being away from Karkat, he was tired of hiding, and.. Flushed? He was pressing his lips against the back of his neck, -->
his breaths still ragged and uneven, still full of sorrow and distress, because really - he didn't know what to do. He had trouble controlling his emotions because he wasn't used to them. He was used to blowing everything off, pretending that nothing bothered him, because, usually - it didn't. It wasn't an issue. He took Dave against his will and remorse wasn't a part of his emotions. He'd been insulted, he'd been made fun of because of his weird religion and usually it hadn't bothered him, because he felt like it wasn't important. It wasn't worth geting upset about, but this.. Karkat was all he had left. He was litrally the only troll that he could count on, literally the only troll that would even speak to him without hostility after what he'd done, after he'd attacked the other two, after he'd manipulated dreams and came after them all - Karkat was the only one who didn't.. Hate him, felt like. "I'm lonely, Karkat. I ain't motherfuckin' mad." It was a lie, but he was calming down. Being angry wasn't going to fix anything.
TG:	He might have heaved again at the smell, if he was facing the other way. He was doing a pretty good job of not throwing up as it was; he was very glad Gamzee had stepped out of his 'office' to see him. Guh. But he did turn around, doing his best to ignore the smell - Gamzee's arms still around him, he lifted a shaking hand to gently rest on his cheek, the other brushing through his hair. He was crying silently, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Shhh," he murmured, stroking his face and resting their foreheads together. Was he doing it? Was he being a moirail? He was shoosh-papping the best he could, in his state, trying to calm Gamzee down. "Shh. P-please..." Even with how gross Gamzee was, even with how awful he smelled and how bad he looked and how... terrified Karkat was, he kissed him. It was the feelings he had for him. That love. Hand continued petting through his hair. He felt so bad for Dave. But he felt worse for Gamzee. A question tingled on the tip of his tongue, wanting to say it but being scared. But really, could things get worse? "Gamzee... be red with me."
TC: The hands on his face, brushing away the indigo-tears that'd been slipping down his cheeks - it was calming. It made him feel better. He leant into the touch, his eyes shutting and his breath uneven, but calmer than it had been. Gamzee let himself calm in his trembling, and when he opened his eyes - they were still watering. He was significantly calmer than he had been when their foreheads pressed together, but his breath still hitched - his hands still shook, and his blood-pusher still ached. His best friend was being a moirail - and that was part of the problem. Having pale leanings and flushed too wasn't too uncommon, but it still wasn't something too terribly easy to handle. Not for Gamzee, at least, and he felt selfish for wanting to be both. When those lips were on his, though - his lids slid closed, and he was kissing back within a moment. His lips were chapped and stained, but the fact that Karkat would still touch him, even after what he'd done. That was enough. That was more than he could ask from anyone. He exhaled through his nose, and after those words left the -->
other's lips, it took about half a second before Gamzee was letting out some sort of.. Hum-like whimper, pulling those lips to his again and kissing him, a little rougher than he had before but still - as lovingly as he could manage. "Pale, motherfuckin' flushed, I'm both. I'm both for you, man, but," He didn't know how to handle it. "I'd never motherfuckin' say no to that question."
TG: God... god dammit. In no way did Karkat regret asking ((not yet, anyway)) it just... it complicated a lot of things. But it also made it a little easier to keep an eye on him, gave him more of an excuse to see him, and he - ...well, he guessed now he didn't have to feel so conflicted inside, all the time. He'd had these stupid feelings for a while now, but he'd been too scared to say anything. Like, legitimately scared. Not that Gamzee wouldn't reciprocate, but obviously that he'd freak out or something - which was a very real fear - or that he'd.... do exactly what he did. Not understand love. It hurt Karkat. A lot. To have the feeling and not understand it entirely and have to burden someone else with it. He really, really hoped... that he could make him understand. He desperately wished for it. The sad look that accompanied his muttered 'i love you' was rather pitiful, and saying the words made his eyes pool with tears again. The hand that was petting Gamzee's hair continued, ->
trying to soothe out the tangles and shit that he kept finding. Other hand continued to brush his cheek. Karkat himself... was just looking a little miserable. Happy for sure, but there were a lot... a LOT of things overshadowing the positivity of filling a quadrant. They couldn't stay here. They couldn't -- Karkat had to talk to Dave, and they had to go somewhere else. Not out in the open. Not in the nauseating room of bodies. They just... they had to go.
TC:	Gamzee didn't understand what 'I love you' meant. He didn't get a word of it - in fact, when Karkat would ever say it, he'd just knit his brow, frown, and try to contemplate what he could possibly mean. Gamzee just didn't get it, and he never would, in all likelihood. He held tightly to Karkat - and as happy as he was about it - he didn't know what was going to happen. Apparently, Dave - a human, someone they'd known for only about half a sweep, meant more than him. Dave, someone that was apparently so cool, so much better than Gamzee, was going to ruin him because he wouldn't stop his taunting. Oh, and because he invaded his privacy. Who was the real victim here? ..Well, really, it was Dave. That was beside the point, though! He was still a victim in his own way, and the fact that Dave was going to turn them all against him. The fact that Dave was going to make the other trolls hate him, make everyone hate him - platonically, not caliginous - that hurt him. At this point - he'd been hating himself enough. He didn't need their help. He let out a shaky breath, pressing his lips to -->
Karkat's jaw, before nuzzling into his collarbone, eyes shut tight. "What are we gonna do, man?"
TG:
He held him tightly, knowing his feelings were about as fucking useless as anything right now. they'd probably be that way forever, and he just had to accept it. But it was really fucking hard. "Don't... d-don't worry about it." Karkat would fix this. He'd find a way to make everything better. He and Kanaya always had a good relationship with one another, and he knew she would definitely understand the motives Gamzee had, and the feelings behind it. It would be convincing Rose that would be the hard part, especially when Kanaya tended to look for any excuse she had to rip Gamzee apart. "I'll fix this. I'll m-make it better. I promise. I fucking... promise." Terezi might prove to be an obstacle. She understood troll romance obviously but Karkat really had no idea how she felt about Dave. Fuck, Karkat understood troll romances and seeing Dave like that still made his blood run cold. Then again, Karkat was probably the least normal of them all. Sympathy ran high with him, ->
and even if he didn't have any particularly fond things to say about the coolkid he didn't... Fuck. If anyone else had done it to him... If Aradia had torn into him, no big deal. Not Gamzee. Not someone that Karkat felt flushed for, someone that he felt obligated to protect. Not someone that could possibly do the same to him."L-let me fix this... I can, I just--" He took a deep breath. "I have to leave, f-for a little bit. And you have to - you have to hide somewhere else. J-just... let me fix this."
TC:	He shook his head frantically, pulling Karkat close to him and pulling the shorter troll towards him. No. There was no way that Karkat was going to leave him - not now. Gamzee didn't know when he was going to be back - sometimes Karkat left for days, even a couple weeks, before. He didn't like it at all. It made him feel alone, and the more alone he was, the more he had to deal with the thoughts that ran through his mind all the time. "No, no no. No way, bro.." He tried to sound casual, but the desperation was leaking out. The fear, too, actually. It was hard for him not to be scared, and he generally wasn't one to let things bother him. Nothing really got to him, usually. This was different, though. He was afraid for himself - he was afraid for Karkat, and he was afraid of anyone finding him. He didn't want anyone to hurt his moirail - his.. Matesprit, now, were they? He didn't want any harm to come to Karkat. Anyone else? Sure. Just not his Karkat. He let his hands slip down to the other's waist, pulling him closer, into his lap - holding tight and stubbornly. "Don't you leave me."
TG:	Karkat shook his own head, hands brushing over his hair and down his back. "N-no, really, I have to - I'll come back I swear, I fucking promise I'll come back. If we don't move they're going to find us and kill us." It wasn't for certain, that they'd kill Karkat but... it was a concern that he had and if he played up on it, he might let him go. He pulled back enough to hold his face in his hands, looking him in the eye. "I'll come back as soon as I t-talk to everyone. I have to, Gamzee - I have to. You have to l-let me." Time was running out for this. Dave might have already - No, Karkat knew that Dave was too terrified and scarred to actually say anything about it. But Rose and Kanaya were pretty good at deducing things, and... Ugh. He kissed him again, hoping the motion was reassuring. "Please. I have to. I fucking swear I'll c-come right back."
TC: He shook, listening to those words. He didn't want to believe it - the ywouldn't kill Karkat, too, would they? Then again, he hadn't seen them in so long. He didn't know what they were like now. Having his face in Karkat's hands made him let out a shaky breath, and he let his eyes slip shut, his teeth coming out to bite at his lower lip. "I don't wanna all let you." His hold on his best friend was strong, and he was obviously panicked - but he did his best to stay calm, and finally, he let go. He let go and he stood to his feet and stepped back - giving the shorter troll some room. "How long you gonna be..?" Returning the kiss, he let his expression fall to something much less than happy but a little less panicked than it had been. He didn't want that Strider kid telling anyone. If he did.. Gamzee was going to ruin him. He'd rip Dave's limbs off, one by one, eat them, and vomit them back up onto his face. Well.. Maybe not that extreme, but. He frowned, knowing he had to let his moirail go -.. His matesprit, now. "..Just.. Come back soon, man, I don't wanna be alone."
TG: He knew Gamzee didn't want him to go. He knew Gamzee was worried he wouldn't come back. But he would. If he had to fucking crawl to him, he would make it back here. He hugged him again, tightly, around the middle - biting back another stupid, useless 'i love you' and instead opting for a 'you're all i have, of course i'll come back'. He turned to leave and paused, turning back; looking at him again. "Please... don't go back into that fucking room. Find another one." If things got out of hand, Karkat didn't want to either lead them right back to Gamzee, or have them follow the very obvious path of Dave's blood that led here. "I'll be back as soon as I can be. I promise." Still shaking he took a deep breath and turned, arms holding onto himself defensively as he made his way back to the main lab. Shit. This wasn't going to be easy. He had to talk to Dave, he had to talk to Kanaya and Rose -- he didn't know how he was going to do this and succeed.
TC: This was an entire and complete mess. Karkat didn't know what he was going to do with himself, let alone with Gamzee. All he knew was that he had to make it back to Kanaya, Rose and Dave. He had to talk to them. There was a panick inside of him - he didn't know exactly what was going to happen, what they were going to think of Gamzee, let alone how to even.. Convince them not to hurt him. He didn't know how he could justify Gamzee's actions, without saying that Dave provoked him. Even then, it didn't excuse anything. He ran a hand through his hair, walking swiftly down the hall to the main room. How was he going to manage this? When he finally did reach the room - Dave was patched up, at least a little bit, albeit passed out in the chair, and the girls were.. Well, Kanaya really seemed to be the only one around. He was happy that Rose seemed to had wandered off, maybe to go find something else for Dave, or.. He didn't know. It didn't matter. If anyone would take mercy, it'd be Kanaya. ..He hoped, anyway. He wrung his hands, brows knit tightly, and made his way over to her. -->
Suddenly, she looked intimidating, and he didn't know what to say to justify his moirail/matesprit/love or whoever he was, he didn't know how to justify Gamzee's actions.
TG:	"Karkat," the Virgo greeted coolly, not bothering to hide the sidelong glance that she sized him up with. Her and Karkat had always gotten on rather well, and had a sort-of mutual respect for one another. She never usually minded talking with him, and oftentimes felt rather... happy, when he trolled her. Even with his caps and foul language he was one of the more level-headed trolls. So it was actually with a certain amount of disdain that she had begun their conversation, much to her chagrin - Karkat was someone she never wanted to seem aloof - or, heaven forbid, unkind - towards. "You certainly have an aroma about yourself." Of course Kanaya could smell it. All the blood that clung to Karkat like a hundred leeches. Didn't matter if it was old or fresh - it tickled her senses in the worst way. Because she knew where it had come from.
TC:	"You noticed." He murmured it. Of course she noticed. How could she not? It wasn't as if he really wanted to.. Well, get that smell all over him, but she should've known that he couldn't just leave his moirail like that. What kind of terrible troll would abandon their moirail like.. He... Had.. Well, okay. Maybe he was that horrible troll. He shook his head, his brows furrowing in his obvious frustration, irritation, and.. Panic. "Just.. Hear me out, okay?" He muttered, and he contemplated taking a step forward before realizing it would probably be a bad decision. Not when she could smell the blood on him. Instead, he took a step back. "I need to talk to you about.. You know who." He didn't want to mention the name. Not when Dave was around - asleep or not. "Just, listen, okay? He.." How was he going to say this. "He did it. I'm sure you fucking figured it out by now. He did this - but you have to understand, okay? You have to understand, he's not right. He's sick right now, he's gonna get better, you just. You gotta lay off.. Please?" He sort of blurted it out without thinking, -->
begging her before he really knew what he was doing.
TG says:
*She folded her arms across her chest gracefully, almost looking down her nose at the shorter troll. She didn't want to be this upset at him. She didn't want to be acting as if Karkat were the problem. But she knew Gamzee wouldn't come forward about it - and if he did, he would have no remorse whatsoever - so being mad at Karkat was all she had right now. For the courtesy of Dave, she kept her voice low. "I am not stupid, Karkat," she began in as gentle of a voice as she could muster. "I understand very well what happened here. However, the two humans that we are hosting here obviously do not. They do not understand blackrom, Karkat. They understand hate, they understand abuse, they understand pain, and they understand only the negatives. I cannot even bring myself to say the word Rose did, it sounds so vile on my tongue." ->
*Not only that, but she didn't fully grasp the concept of the term 'rape'. "What your moirail did was wrong." And it pained her to say this. "You should have concerned yourself more with his well-being than that of Terezi and Dave." She bit back the words 'look what you let happen' because Karkat didn't deserve that. She let her words sink in, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. She did not like Gamzee. This came as a surprise to no one. But she did still like Karkat. The only affiliation she had towards Dave was what Rose felt towards him, and unfortunately for Karkat that was a very strong bond. The fact that it upset Rose made her very much want to find and kill Gamzee, but the emotion that had won it out thus far was, for some reason, patience. Because she knew that he meant something to Karkat, and sometimes Kanaya felt like it was a little more than what he let on.
TC says:
*"I know, fuck, I know that. Don't you think I fucking know that?" He was getting frustrated - there were tears starting to form in his eyes, red-tinted and thick. He didn't want her to hate Gamzee. He didn't want her to be angry with him, and more than anything, he didn't want his moirail, his matesprit, his whatever he was - to get hurt. "I know it was wrong, I fucking know it was wrong, okay? I should have paid attention to him, I should have seen him more, I should have fucking taken care of him but I'm a fucking jealous piece of shit and I know it. You don't have to fucking rub it in. Just give him a chance, it won't happen again, okay? He didn't know, he didn't know any better." He really didn't. Gamzee didn't know anything about humans, all he knew was that he hated Dave - in more of a caliginous way than platonic. He knew that he really didn't know better - that he was messed up in the head, that he had trouble discerning right from wrong, a true cry for help vs a taunt. Though he didn't know what Gamzee's real intentions were with this one. "He's stupid. He's a fucking -->
*stupid clown who doesn't know how to keep his shit together, and I'm a shitty moirail. If anyone should get punished around here, it isn't him, it should fucking be me. I should've taken care of him. He's my fucking responsibility, I've all he's got. He's.." Fuck. He didn't know how to say this. "He's fucking flushed for me, Kanaya, and when I left, when I fucking left he cried. He never cries. He never fucking cries. I've never fucking seen him cry and I'm his sorry excuse for a moirail.. Matesprit.. Whatever the fuck we are now, okay? Just.. Please, don't. Don't hurt him.. Please?"
TG says:
*The tears that she saw in his eyes struck her a little, and she sighed again. Karkat was not her enemy. And the more he spoke the more she felt her more obvious roots of caregiver taking over. A better part of her knew that no, Gamzee didn't know what he was doing. He was filling his black quadrant and that was perfectly acceptable. She knew Dave would have denied if he asked him outright, but it may have given him a chance to escape. Karkat SHOULD have taken care of him, he SHOULD have kept an eye on him. But she also knew that seeing Sollux like that had been a huge blow to him, and Kanaya could forgive Karkat. She knew, too, that Karkat was being sincere. She stepped closer,hoping the action wasn't seeming to be offensive. She felt bad for him, she felt bad for Dave - and a small, tiny part of her even felt bad for Gamzee. She sympathized with Rose but she was not as in-tune with her feelings as Karkat was, she could not sympathize to the full extent that she... wanted to. ->
*When he told her that Gamzee was flushed for him she felt her brows pinch and a small wave wash over her; a wave of pity. Karkat and Gamzee were the two trolls she often felt like she pitied the most. An outside, observer's standpoint had her very glad that they had each other, in a sick way. Even if... This was just far, far too messed up. She took a deep breath, rubbing her temples. "Rose will not be easily convinced." In fact it might have been impossible to convince her. But against all odds Kanaya understood. Her pity for Gamzee beat out her anger and hatred. She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. "No harm will befall him by my hand." She could not say the same for anyone else amongst them. She would talk to Rose. Karkat was too emotional, too unstable right now to plead his case to her. Dave stirred and she glanced across the room to him. "You should consider talking to Dave as well." Dave wouldn't understand, either. But he was in no shape to do anything about it, now. "He lost a lot of blood and is not in very good shape. Be patient with him."
TC says:
*"No, no, no, fuck, don't tell her. Don't you fucking tell her, you can't." His brows were knit and his hands wrung, and when she mentioned speaking to Dave - every part of him bristled, and screamed 'no fucking way'. He knew he had to, though. He knew he had to. There was no avoiding that. "She won't fucking get it. She won't get it and she'll fucking go after him, you KNOW she will. He doesn't know any better but she isn't going to.. She won't fucking GET that he's too STUPID to take those fucking humans into consideration!" He couldn't run from it. No matter how hard he tried, Karkat was never going to be able to run from this. He pleaded with her. He was sure that he looked pathetic at this point. He could feel tears slipping down his cheeks, and he tried in vain to wipe them away. They just kept coming. Fuck. He looked away from her - unable to look at her anymore, and turned his attention to the human across the room, who appeared to be.. Stirring, at least a little bit. He couldn't stand the fact that this was happening. That his moirail was in danger and it was his fault. -->
*That he had trouble breathing when he even looked at Dave, because the way he looked.. How pitiful (and not in the troll sense of the word) he looked, it was so.. He didn't know how to explain it. It was terrible. His stomach knotted and he felt some sort of sickness, a deep sympathy and yet, an anger. Some sort if bitterness towards Dave because Gamzee fucking touched him like that. He couldn't place it - he couldn't place why, but it made him feel.. No, jealous wasn't the word, right? Couldn't be. Look at how badly Gamzee had screwed him up, after all. Karkat didn't want that. "Fine. I'll.. I'll fucking talk to him, okay?" He'd try. No matter how much his digestion sack twisted, no matter how much it /hurt/ to look at him, no matter how much bitterness and anger he had. He'd try. He'd wait until Kanaya had left - he'd wait until Dave was woken up completely before he'd even walk over there, though. He just.. Had to procrastinate as long as he could.
TG says:
*"Karkat," Kanaya began in a sturdy voice. "She is going to find out one way or another. Look at Dave. Even if Gamzee managed to scare him into silence, there is only one being here that could - and would - do such a thing." Her hand tightened on his shoulder. "As much as I wish it were avoidable, there is nothing you can do. Even if I did not tell Rose... she would figure it out. Is it not better to try and talk to her to calm her down than to let her find out on her own, perhaps when she is alone and not able to be pacified, to go and find him by herself?" She took a deep breath, gritting her teeth a little. "If there is anyone on this rock that hates him, it is myself. Rose is aware of this. If I am not looking to harm him, she might calm down." Did that make sense? She sighed, frowning at him, hand sliding from his shoulder to gently rub at his back. She didn't hate Karkat. She wasn't mad at him. She wasn't mad at anyone. "Don't cry, Karkat." ->
*She knelt in front of him, looking up at his face from where she was in front of him, on the floor. "We have survived worse. We will get through this." She very much wanted to be on Rose's side, because looking at Dave hurt her blood-pusher, looking at Rose and seeing her upset hurt it too, but she understood troll romance and could not sympathize as much as she wanted to with the humans. She was on Karkat's side. Not Gamzee's - Karkat's. She didn't want him to lose someone special. Even if he was a stupid, infuriating, bloodthirsty clown. Hand touched his cheek delicately. "Please, don't cry."
TC says:
*This was getting more and more difficult, wasn't it? He tried to resist his sniffling, yet he found it hard. He found it hard to try not to cry, he found it hard to try not to feel sick when he looked at Dave, and he found it hard to try not to just run from this situation and never look back, but he knew he couldn't. He cared. As much as he hated it, he cared. He cared about all of their stupid faces and he hated the fact that he did. He grit his teeth, and nodded - the tears still streaking down his cheeks and he tried to hold back a sob, but failed, miserably. It just escaped him and there wasn't a chance that he'd be able to hold it back. "F-fuck. Okay. Just..." He swallowed, his muscles tensing and his breath coming out in ragged gasps. "I'm trying, damnit, okay? I'm fucking trying." He tried to get himself together, desperately. He wiped away his tears, he stood up straight, and he let out a labored breath. "Looks like the nookstain is waking up. I'll.. Fucking. I'll try to talk to him, okay? I don't know how it's gonna work out, but I'll fucking try." Before Kanaya could -->
*really say anything, he'd turned on his heels. He hadn't muttered a 'thank you' or a 'thanks' as much as he'd wanted to, but the way he'd looked at her - he hoped was a thanks enough. "Go.. Talk to Rose, okay? Don't.." He sighed, grinding his teeth together. "Don't let her take him from me." It didn't take too long before he'd strode across the room, and was kneeling in front of Dave, one hand on his cheek - the other around his own waist. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to sit here and wait for the kid to wake up.. But he had to. That or.. Cry in front of Kanaya more. That really didn't seem like a great option, either.
TG says:
*Kanaya sighed again and nodded, striding off to find Rose to try and talk to her. This was going to be difficult. But she knew if anyone should talk to Rose about it, it should be her. Dave stirred at the hand on his cheek, kinda fading in and out. He was sitting - rather, slouching back against it - in one of the computer chairs. They'd cleaned most of the blood off his face; his shirt was off and his torso was heavily bandaged, obscuring most of the skin from view. Blood was very faintly dotting the white gauze. His arms were limp at his sides, dried blood - his own - under the nails. His lip was split, but not bleeding. His shades and cape, and his shirt, were off to the side, folded neatly on the countertop. A bandage was wrapped around his head. He was concussed but didn't suffer any brain damage. Hopefully. His eyes were red from obvious crying. And when he opened them... the slivered lids showed his red irises; dull and glassy. He took a sharp intake of breath, hands gripping into the chair cushion he was sitting on. ->
*"K-Kan?" he muttered weakly. When he focused, he saw Karkat's face - his brows knit and he shook his head. Not the person he wanted to see. He didn't want to see anyone. He just kinda wanted to close his eyes and go back to not existing again. Being awake hurt. It hurt everywhere and everything in him just wanted to do anything to make it stop.
TC says:
*"No, shitstain, it's me." That.. Came out weaker than he'd hoped it would. He let his eyes slip shut for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. He slipped his hand away from Dave's cheek. He hadn't even really meant to put it there - in fact, he had no idea why he did. Instead, he placed his own cheek on his palm, resting his face on his hand and kneeling down in front of him. "Listen. I need to fucking talk to you." And? You need to talk to him...And? "About.." About what, Karkat? Come on, you've got this. "...What happened." Oh, bravo. You're doing SO well with this, let's just give you a medal. "Fuck.." Smooth. "Just.." He didn't even know where to start with this. The way Dave looked was painful for him, was painful for Kanaya, Rose, and.. Pretty much everyone but Gamzee, really. Gamzee seemed to be the only one who had no idea what he was doing wrong, actually. "It's not what you thought it was. You don't know what he's like, okay? He just.. He never meant to.." Come on, speak up. He had no idea what to say or do, or how to explain it, or justify it - humans never really -->
*seemed to grasp the idea of quadrants, let alone embrace them. They were stubborn. A lot like him, actually. "This is stupid." He murmured it, and he sat up - his hands on Dave's knees, as he tried to give the other a closer look. As he tried to just get Dave to LOOK at him so he could at least TRY to explain. "Listen. He doesn't.. He doesn't get it, okay? How humans work. We have this.. Fucking quadrant system, you know about that, right? Black fucking romance. It's.." How do you even explain this? "Caliginous relationships are violent and hate-based, and he was.. Interested, okay? I don't.. I don't know how he didn't.." He didn't know how Gamzee didn't process the word 'no'. "Just.. Fucking understand, please?"
TG says:
*Dave looked up at him as he got closer, watching him with those red eyes of his. Everything kinda floated around in his head, what Karkat was saying... He knew exactly what Karkat was saying. It didn't make a lot of sense, but he heard every word. When he spoke, his voice was scratchy - like he'd been crying and screaming for hou - oh wait, he had been. "So just like that, it's supposed to be fucking okay." His words and tone were impassive; entirely lacking any sort-of feeling to them. He understood alright. It wasn't what he thought it was, huh? "Do you know what we call that on earth?" he asked, no inflection in the question. "People will get locked away for stuff like that. They get locked away, and sometimes they get sentenced to death for it. I never thought for a single second that I'd come here and have some troll interested in me in any sort-of way. Not like that." When emotion finally showed on Dave's face, it was disgust. At himself. He swallowed thickly. ->
*"I can still taste it, bro." His eyes were wet. "I can feel it in the back of my throat." If Gamzee had stopped there, if he had let him go after face-fucking him, Dave might have been alright. That was something easy to laugh off. Or walk away from uneasily but still be okay. His brows knit again, and he was looking at Karkat - but he was looking /through/ him. "I tried to kill myself. But I just keep coming back..." His voice cracked and he shook his head, chin lowering to his chest.
TC says:
*"F-Fuck, don't TALK like that." He stood up, and he was visibly shaken by it - not quite as much as Dave, but still hurt, still upset, still angry, and still.. Still sad about it. He was - he was painfully sad about it because he felt like it was his fault for not taking care of Gamzee. And, in -->
*a lot of ways. It was. He stood on his knees, his hands holding Dave's legs a little tighter, and he knit his brow. "He didn't fucking get it, okay? He doesn't KNOW, he's fucking stupid, he doesn't know any better, I didn't fucking.. I didn't fucking explain it to him, it's MY fault, not his, -->
*not fucking his, okay?" No, don't you cry. Don't you cry you stupid piece of -- "MY fucking fault - don't, don't fucking - don't you talk like that!" His voice escalated - and he was visibly shaken -->
*by this, by all of it - though he wasn't supposed to be the one traumatized. He knew that, too. Oh, he knew it. But he couldn't stop himself. "He doesn't know shit about you humans, he didn't know it was wrong, he -- fuck, don't, don't you fucking cry, don't you FUCKING cry, I can see it. Fuck, you piece of fucking -" He stopped himself, bringing his hand to his eyes - trying -->
*so hard not to cry, himself. He did not like Dave. No, he didn't like Dave at all. But he hated seeing him like this. He hated seeing him broken down, on the verge of tears, hurting like this, speaking like he was so broken when he's supposed to be the cool kid, supposed to be so together and the fact that Gamzee could do this to him.. -->
*No, that wasn't okay. "Listen, okay, just you fucking listen - imagine if your.. Fucking, best friend in the world fucked up, okay? Just.. Picture Egbert or whoever the fuck, messing up SO FUCKING BAD that.. Fuck, fuck, that he can't ever fix it, okay? Just. Imagine that." His hands were shaking at this point. "Imagine having to lose him because he didn't know any fucking better. -->
*Do you.. Do you fucking know.. How bad it fucking hurts? You've already.." He'd already stolen Terezi. Did he have to steal Gamzee, too?
TG says:
*Dave cradled his broken arm to his chest again, the fingers weakly gripping into his bandages. "Y-you could do it... couldn't you...?" he murmured softly, looking back up at him again. Tears clung to his lashes but refused to spill over the edge of his eyelids, every part of him visibly trembling. Uninjured hand snaked down his leg, hand gripping Karkat's fingers surprisingly tight for as weak as he felt. Weak as he was. It was a desperate, depressing grip. "You could... you could do it f-for me..." Head snapped to the side, as if realizing something. He scowled. "N-no... that wouldn't be fair or just... I'd just come back again..." Unless. Unless Dave attacked him and didn't relent. If Karkat killed Dave in self-defense it'd make it a just death; he was justified in killing him and he'd stay dead. He'd stay dead and none of this would matter. It would be hilariously inconsequential and everyone could go on living their lives. They could make it to the end of the game, the end of their journey. ->
*They would meet John and Jade without him, and by the time they did he wouldn't even matter. He'd be dead and forgotten about and it'd be fucking great. "Unless I made you do it... made you want to kill me..." He looked back at him again, eyes and expression desperate, pathetic. "Do you know what this feels like? How fucking bad it hurts? My arm is broken. I can't fucking sit down, can't fucking turn my head, can't fucking do any goddamn thing without being in pain." His hoarse voice was rising in pitch now too, cracking with emotion. "Maybe I should tell you every fucking sordid detail, Karkat. About how he crushed every breath out of my lungs when he sat on my chest and forced his weird alien dick into my mouth and nearly choked me. Maybe I should tell you about how he tore my clothes off me and held me down. Knelt on my arm so hard it broke. Slammed my head into the wall and the floor four - no, FIVE - times. ->
*Forced himself into me and fucking /laughed/ when I cried, bled, told him it hurt, wanted him to stop - If John did that to anyone, I wouldn't even give him a second fucking chance." Talking about John upset him enough to push him over the edge, and his hand let go of Karkat's to grind into his eyes, Dave sobbing again. "Just fucking kill me. Knock me out, throw me off the fucking meteor. I can't fucking do this."
TC says:
*No, no. He couldn't take that. He couldn't take the dirty details, he couldn't take the way that Dave told that story - he felt like he was going to be sick. He felt like he was going to vomit up everything he'd eaten and everything he'd digested and it felt like he was going to literally suck in all that he'd defecate just so he could throw it up again. "No, no, NO, he doesn't FUCKING GET IT, Dave, he doesn't understand, don't you fucking tell me that, don't you say a fucking word about it, I can't.. I can't..." He'd broken down at this point, too. The red-tinted tears had been slipping down his cheeks the moment that the human had started giving him details, and he'd actually had to swallow bile back down. Gamzee was so gentle around him. Granted, he'd had his.. Moments, but.. He'd never.. He'd never, ever, Gamzee wasn't a bad guy, he wasn't bad, he wasn't a bad moirail, he was everything to Karkat, Karkat LOVED him and it hurt, it hurt so bad to hear any of this. "Just.. Just fucking SHUT UP, okay? Just shut your FUCKING mouth, I can't fucking deal with you!" He knew it'd -->
*hurt, talking to Dave. He knew it'd hurt, but he'd never expected it would hurt this badly. He had to resist the monster urge to lean forward and slap the living fuck out of the human before him because he just couldn't handle the way that the other spoke about Gamzee. "You don't fucking know him! You don't know what the fuck he's dealing with, what a fucking monster I've been to him, you just don't fucking get it, okay? If you're going to blame anyone, blame ME. He's fucked up. He's so fucked up, but he.." He'd never mean to do anything like that, right? He'd never.. "It's fucking DIFFERENT. He didn't KNOW." He did. He did know, didn't he? He knew everything, he knew that it hurt Dave, he knew that it wasn't consensual, he knew that it'd scar him for life and he loved every second of it. "No, no, no --" Get those thoughts out of you, Karkat, you can't think like that. You just can't. "He doesn't understand how you humans work. He doesn't get that it was a bad fucking thing to do, he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it, he doesn't fucking GET it, why won't you get that he's fucking -->
*ignorant? He's -- he's.." He had to bury his face in his hands. "Don't do this to him, don't do this to me. I can't.. I can't lose him." Then, the request to kill him. So, that's what he wanted, huh? He couldn't kill Dave. He couldn't do it. There was no way he could ever hurt that human, no matter how much he disliked him. "I can't fucking kill you. Just forget about it right now." He sniffled - trying to resist the urge to sob again, and let his eyes slip shut, his hands wringing together. "We're gonna find out what to do, okay? It'll be fucking fine for all of us. Listen, you won't even have to see him. You won't have to see him again, just.. Just.. Just don't you fucking dare take him away from me."
TG says:
*He slumped forward, sobbing, gripping the front of Karkat's shirt. "If he didn't get it why didn't he stop," he croaked. He wasn't mad at Karkat. He wasn't anything. He couldn't feel anything aside the pain he was in. He slipped off the chair, onto the floor, clinging to him. "I don't kn-know what to fucking do." He didn't want to take anyone from anyone else. He didn't want anything. He wanted to just die and forget everything. "W-would he do it?" Would Gamzee kill him? He could go back, with his sword, fight him - it wouldn't be a fair fight, but if he attacked first, would that make his death just? Then anything that happened wouldn't be his fault. He would be so blissfully dead nothing would matter anymore. He moved his broken arm, holding around Karkat for whatever fucking reason - to ground himself, maybe - and cried. He trembled and sobbed, not knowing what to do so he clung to Karkat - someone he wanted to be his enemy - and buried his face in his shirt. ->
*"I can't do this Karkat. I can't fucking do this. I shouldn't have said bad shit about you." So now he was back to that whole 'I deserve it' thing... "I wandered off. It was my fucking fault. I'm fucking sorry. I can't keep my fucking mouth shut. If I hadn't..." He had, and it was bad of him to do. He didn't want anyone to die or get killed because of him. Just let him die already and forget about it.
TC says:
*"No, no, what the fuck are you --" Doing. Dave was clinging to him - and he was trying his hardest not to sob, but it was hard. It was hard, and within a matter of seconds, he couldn't do it anymore. He wrapped his arms around Dave, though, hesitantly, barely patting his back, at first. He didn't know whether or not he really wanted to.. Be in this situation.. Most likely no, considering he didn't even like Dave and the entire thing was -- fuck. He just. He couldn't do it. This was so awkward but he just lost himself in the moment, and before he really realized what he was doing, he was clinging back, he was running his hand through the blonde's hair, and he was sucking in deep breaths through his teeth, his eyes clenched tightly and his hands trembling. He was no good at comforting. Especially not humans - because he had no idea what he was doing with this. Karkat shook his head, pulling the human closer to him and murmuring, even as he trembled, even as he shook, his entire body quivering because this was just so wrong, it was so wrong on so many levels. "He wouldn't fucking -->
*do it. I know he wouldn't." He wouldn't because Karkat wouldn't let him, and because Gamzee wasn't interested in.. Killing him. No. He was interested in the black quadrant. The thought still made Karkat's stomach churn, and he wasn't sure why. "Just.. Shit, man, just c-calm down, okay?" Calm down because Karkat was breaking dwn himself. He was sobbing, trying not to let it show, but it was. It was painfully obvious and it hurt so bad. "W-wait, said bad shit about me..?" Hold the phone. Back it up. Exactly..  What did that mean? "What are you.. What are you saying?" Somehow, he just knew that he didnt' want to hear the answer.
TG says:
*No, he could do it - he could piss him off enough, he knew it. Dave was just so easy to hate, wasn't he? With his cocky attitude, and his tremendous amounts of ironic bullshit - he could do it. He continued to latch onto the troll. He hated this. He hated that Karkat was the one comforting him. Everyone on this stupid fucking rock had someone. Kanaya had Rose. Karkat had Gamzee. Terezi was off eating chalk somewhere. Aradia had Sollux. Who did Dave have? He used to think he had Terezi but even now he didn't want her. He fucking... he wanted John here. He never had a chance to tell the stupid kid how he felt and now it was too late. Dave had no one, and he never would. No one would want something like this. Some defeated, discarded, useless fucking kid that'd fucked up. Got fucked up, got fucked, and was worthless now. No one wanted an uncool kid. He'd fucked up so bad. Bro was probably rolling over in his grave. He'd sullied the Strider name. ->
*"I l-let them down," he whimpered. Bro, John, everyone - Dave had let them down. Oh, fuck. He hadn't even said shit that was that awful - it was just really inopportune. "I s-said you were fucked up... b-but I didn't mean it like that, I-" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "W-we all are, I f-felt bad he didn't know how you were doing... H-he said I'd regret it... he said.... I'd regret it and I do, I'm so fucking sorry I was just scared and couldn't think-" He was talking too fast and he wasn't breathing properly, the combination making him really dizzy. He leaned on Karkat, sobbing still, his entire form wracked with tremors. "I just want to fucking die, dude. I fucking w-want my bro, I want John here - I don't f-fucking have anyone. Fucking kill me... just do it..." John would never want him after something like this. And if he died, if he just fucking died - he could be with his bro again. That's all Dave wanted. He just wanted someone to fucking give a shit about him that he could give a shit about back. ->
*"Please... I c-can't do this..." He couldn't breathe, and he was hyperventilating against Karkat, his hands gripping him again and the kid erratically crying and breathing difficultly against the troll. For fuck's sake... Dave was pathetic.
TC says:
*"N-no, just, shut up, okay? Shut up.." He felt so bad. He felt so, so bad. There was no way he could make this better, was there? He grit his teeth and let the kid sob against him, his hands running along Dave's back, and he just.. He didn't know what to do at this point. It didn't make Dave worthless. At least, not in troll culture - and he was sure it didn't make him worthless in human culture either. "This w-wasn't your fucking fault, okay? There was no way in all of fucking Alternia --" oh, right. That wasn't there anymore. "-.. No fucking way that you let anyone down. I don't give a shit what you say about me. I don't care, I don't fucking care, don't.. Just stop crying. Stop fucking crying." He should've taken his own advice. He let his teeth grind together, and he couldn't stop his own sobs from escaping him, and he just.. He practically blubbered. That was really all he was good for, wasn't it? "John is such a fucking forgiving guy, and you don't have anything t-to apologize for. He doesn't even have to know, okay? He doesn't have to know - we'll see him in.. What, a -->
*sweep? A couple human.. Years, or whatever the fuck. I don't know. But we don't have to tell anyone. No one.. A-aside from Rose and Kanaya, you can keep your fucking dignity. You're not letting anyone down. And.." And..? "I'm not.. F-fucking killing you. Just.. Just calm down." He couldn't calm down, Karkat knew that. Not after what happened to him. He'd never be the same again, would he? "You CAN fucking do it, you can do it - you know what any of us h-have fucking been through? It.. It sucks, and it hurts, and everything is shitty and nothing is okay but you'll b-be alright, just.. Fuck, I don't know what to do. I don't know what the fuck to do. I can't kill you, I can't fucking kill you. I'm not.." He wasn't like that. He wasn't like most trolls. He just didn't have it in him. He wanted to say that he cared about Dave. He wanted to say that he'd be here, that he'd listen, that he'd take care of him, but.. Karkat knew that the moment the kid wasn't like this anymore, he wouldn't. He wouldn't think twice about going back to his dislike, he wouldn't think twice about going back -->
*to trying to avoid him pretty much as much as he could, and.. He couldn't. It wasn't his job to take care of Dave. It was his job to take care of Gamzee, and.. As pitiful as the human looked, as much as he cried, as much as it made Karkat's blood-pusher ache, he knew he couldn't do it. "I'm not like that."
TG says:
*Even if John never knew... Dave would. Dave would know. It'd keep him from being that much more honest with Egbert, that much more loving and open. It'd be some horrible secret that he couldn't let go of, that he couldn't trust John with even if every bit and piece of him wanted to. Because it would make John hate him, and he'd never want to talk to him again, or spend time with him, because Dave had been marked. "I n-never told him how I felt... Rose knows... but he doesn't. He doesn't kn-know that I love him. It makes my heart f-fucking hurt... knowing that he died... even if he god-tier'd it still isn't f-fair. John didn't deserve to die..." And Dave couldn't do anything to stop it. He just wished - they'd never played this stupid game. He hated it. He fucking hated it. He never wanted to do this. Okay, that was a lie, he did - but he wished he woulda had a little fucking foresight. "I know you can't unders-stand stupid human bullshit..." ->
*Trolls had quadrants. Dave learned that the hard way. They didn't know what love or any of that bullshit noise was. "But I l-love John more than anything and I... H-he can't see me like this..." Dave just wanted... someone. He wanted John but he wanted someone that... fuck. If he wasn't going to take the easy way out and just die... he really needed help.
TC says:
*Karkat swallowed. Didn't understand..? "...I.." Come on. You've been wanting to talk about it - you've been wanting to tell SOMEONE, you've been wanting to have someone understand because no one else could. No one but a human, and here.. Here was Dave, opening himself up, speaking like this, and.. "I.. I understand more than you think, okay? I'm.. I'm not supposed to feel your stupid fucking.. 'love', but.." How could he tell Dave that he loved the troll that'd done this to him? How could he tell Dave that the strongest feeling in the world, the strongest feeling he could ever have - was directed at the one being that'd put Dave through such torture that he sat here, broken. He ran his fingers through the blonde's hair, his brows knitted and and he sort of.. Unconsciously tugged the other closer to him, just wanting to feel closeness from someone. Even if it was Dave. "He didn't get it. Gamzee didn't fucking get it. I tried to tell him it was bad, I tried to fucking tell him, I tried to explain to him that he can't.. He can't do that.. And.." Here came the hard part. He tightened -->
*hold on Dave. "He didn't get it.. W-when I fucking.. When I told him I loved him. Because.. Fuck, I don't.. I don't feel it like trolls should, I don't fucking feel 'flushed' or 'pale' for him, I.. I fucking love him, okay? Maybe.. That's why I'm so willing to forgive him, or try to forget about it, or.." He was shaking, wasn't he? He was shaking. "H-how you feel about John? You feel like you'd sacrifice fucking.. Anything for him, right?" He was burying his nose in Dave's hair before he really realized it, trying so hard not to break down, trying so hard not t ocry and let out those stupid noises that he so desperately wanted to. "A-at least he'd get it, if you told him. At least he'd fucking understand what love was, but Gamzee? He didn't. He didn't fucking get it, Dave, the taintchafing piece of shit didn't understand that I fucking love him like a human would love their fucking.. Mate or whtaever the shit you assholes get. There isn't a fucking thing I wouldn't do for Gamzee, and.. I hate that he did this to you, fuck, I hate it, but he's m-my fucking.. He's my fucking -->
*everything."
TG says:
*This greatly confused Dave. It almost made him hurt worse. That may have been from how tightly he was holding him, his broken arm aching something fierce from the pressure, but he didn't... he didn't want to let go. He knew Karkat hated him. But he needed something. He needed someone. Even though Karkat smelled like that room, even if it made him recall every disgusting detail, he needed this. Because if Dave was left alone, left awake and alone with his thoughts, he would probably do something really fucking stupid. He probably WOULD try to go provoke Gamzee into killing him, or he'd strife with Terezi and poets would have a fucking field day with that. He would do anything for John. He wished he was here. Even now, with how he was, he would break down and sob much like now, but John would be here and he would be so fucking okay. Even if John said no, even if he turned him down - he kenw John would at least humor him and that would be good enough. ->
*It pissed him off Gamzee wouldn't humor Karkat. At least fucking pretend to understand so he didn't turn into this. His head spun with all the different thoughts racing through it; he hated Gamzee, but there was a small part of Dave that wanted to be a better person even though he knew he couldn't be. He wanted to walk it off but he could barely stand; and he fucking hated that he felt sorry for Karkat when he should have hated him, too. "Th-that's... fucking..." And he choked on another sob. "T-terrible, dude, I - c-can't..." This wasn't okay. He couldn't be okay with it. He couldn't not hate the troll that did this to him. Dave didn't deserve it. Karkat deserved someone better. He hated Karkat but not in the same way - well, he didn't actually hate Karkat. He didn't know what to fucking feel.
TC says:
*Then, he was holding tighter to the human - sobs wracking his body against his will and his brows knit so tightly it almost hurt. His breathing was ragged and pained, and he couldn't believe - he couldn't believe he'd just told Dave. Dave of all people. "He doesn't get it. He's incapable of getting it, but he's.. He's flushed for me." He didn't know if Dave really knew what that meant. He almost didn't care at this point. "John.. Will accept you, okay?" He didn't know what else to say. It was all he could really manage - to try to convince Dave that John would accept him, that he wouldn't reject him, wouldn't think less of him because of something that wasn't his fault. He'd turned, pulling Dave against his chest and trying to lean up against the wall a couple feat from them, and he'd kept his arms wrapped tightly around the human. Gamzee wasn't going to like this. He was going to be able to tell - see the blood on him, smell the stench of vomit and he knew that when the taller troll saw him, that when he saw him and smelled Dave on him and saw the way he looked, the guilty -->
*expression that Karkat knew he would wear, he'd be in for it. So he clung tighter - he clung tighter and he tried to suppress his sobs, tried to keep himself from whimpering or making those pathetic sounds he knew he would've made had he not held back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't f-fuc--.." He stopped, took in a breath, and tried to steady himself. "H-Hold him back. Teach him better." He really was, too. "It's my fault that he did this."
TG says:
*Dave could hate Gamzee with ever fiber of his being. And he would - he did. But blaming anyone was pointless. Yes, the kid was a mess. Yes, the kid would be scarred for a long time, if not for life. But right now... there would be no use. Maybe, sometime later, Dave would be content with the idea of revenge. He might even exact it one day. Maybe. He seemed much more comfortable clinging to the troll and crying himself out. He was getting exhausted...
*Dave only had a small understanding of what the troll relationships were or meant. He vaguely recalled Terezi trying to explain it once, and he really hadn't cared much. It was all Greek to him, and it didn't really seem important. Maybe if he had a better understanding... if he had known what that had meant... he would have gotten out of there faster, ran away and wouldn't have... gotten... He hoped John would accept him. It's all Dave wanted. He never told anyone, but he'd only played the game to get to meet him face to face. And tell him... How he felt. He moved when Karkat moved him, still clinging to him and sniveling. They sounded so pathetic. But Dave needed this. Fingers gripped into Karkat's shirtm the boy taking deep shuddering breaths. He wanted to calm down but he couldn't... Karkat spoke again and he shook his head. He wasn't mad at Karkat. He didn't hate him. He could try, but he just couldn't hate someone that he... felt bad for. "N-no," he croaked, ->
* rubbing his face into the troll's shirt. It was no one's fault. Not Dave's, not Karkat's... and if Gamzee was acting on troll instincts it wasn't his, either. Dave could hate him. Dave could hate Gamzee with ever fiber of his being. And he would - he did. But blaming anyone was pointless. Yes, the kid was a mess. Yes, the kid would be scarred for a long time, if not for life. But right now... there would be no use. Maybe, sometime later, Dave would be content with the idea of revenge. He might even exact it one day. Maybe. He seemed much more comfortable clinging to the troll and crying himself out. He was getting exhausted...
TC says:
*Karkat didn't really know what to do with himself. Whether he should hold Dave tighter, should push him away, or just.. He didn't know. He couldn't figure it out - he felt like the boy was clinging to him like there was nothing left and Karkat didn't know how to handle that. "N-No, what?" He swallowed, letting out a deep breath and burying his face in Dave's hair, his hands trembling and trying to find a place to stay. He didn't know where to put them. The human's back, his shoulders, his hair, his.. Well, the back seemed to be the best idea. So he let his hands slip up and down Dave's back in what he hoped was a soothing manner, because he.. He was really, really terrible at comforting humans. That was for sure. He didn't know what to do - he didn't know what they liked, he didn't think a 'shooshpap' would work for sure, because humans were so different from trolls that he didn't understand it. He'd try, though. He would try. He just hoped that Kanaya wouldn't walk out and see this, or.. Wow, he really hoped Gamzee hadn't been sneaking around. Who knew whether or not the guy was -->
*in the vents, hiding away, spying on him or whatever he did in his spare time. Karkat let his nails gently, very gently, run across Dave's back, just ever so lightly in the places that weren't marred, the places that were least affected, just hoping he could help in.. Some way. "It is, th-though. It is my fault." He'd been Gamzee's moirail. He'd been the one that was supposed to keep him under control, to watch him, to take care of him, to pity him - and he'd messed it all up. He'd left the taller troll alone, and he'd.. Seen him cry. For the first time. Just because he left, and he didn't believe that Karkat would be back. Why would he, anyway? "H-He's my responsibility."
TG says:
*He was... actually managing to calm down. Not because he was any less unseated by what happened, but because he was pushing himself past the point of 'too much'. Another deep, shuddering breath came and his broken arm loosened its grip, pulling back to hug to his chest. The other arm was still around him, and his cheek was nuzzling into Karkat's shirt. The motion of the hand on his back was intensely comforting and he almost felt like maybe he could simmer down. At least enough to stop crying, maybe... Another deep breath, Dave opening his eyes. His tears were still very much falling but he wasn't wracked with sobs, instead trembling from the sheer exhaustion he was feeling. "Y-you.... a good guy, K-Karkat..." His voice was weak, and he wasn't crying as much as he had been before. "Y-you wouldn't... have wished that upon anyone... e-even your worst enemy..." Karkat was a good guy. He was a good guy. This may have been partial negligence on his part but he was wholly good. As much as he didn't want to ever admit it. He was good. "Y-you're.. a good guy."
TC says:
*No, he wasn't. He really wasn't. Karkat was the scum of the meteor and he knew it - but there really wasn't much he could do about it, was there? He just shivered, wrapping both arms around Dave and pulling him closer, a few tears leaking down his cheeks and onto the blonde's hair. He was sure that the human wouldn't care. Not in the state he was in. "N-No, I'm not." But Dave sure seemed to think so, didn't he? "Just.. Let me get you t-to the couch, okay? Just.. Fucking bear with me." Looping two arms under the other's shoulders, he attempted to help the human stand to the best of his ability. Karkat wasn't weak - but he wasn't necessarily strong, either, and it was a little harder than he'd thought. He grunted, gritting his teeth together, eyes clenched tightly shut as he pulled, and when he'd finally pulled the human onto the couch, he'd leant back - pulling Dave to him, pulling the blonde so he could rest his head on Karkat's chest and stomach - one leg on either side. He just.. He didn't know what else to do. Dave obviously didn't want to let go of him any time soon - and.. -->
*Well, Kanaya was probably going to see it regardless. "Just.. C-come here, man. Get some fucking rest, okay..?"
TG says:
*But he was doing this for Dave, wasn't he? Didn't that make him a good guy? Even Rose had to leave when she saw him like this. She couldn't comfort him. B-but now Dave was... feeling a lot better. At least he was wiped out enough to not feel like killing himself. When Karkat got up he did his best to follow, his knees weak like the rest of him. "Okay." He felt bad for doing this to someone that he knew hated him. It was the only feeling he'd had that wasn't intense disgust for himself, so that was a start. When he was laying on Karkat he rubbed his cheek against his chest, shuddering and sighing. He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Karkat..." he mumbled quietly. "I kn-know you hate this." I know you hate me. But he appreciated it... He needed it. His arm held tighter and he hiccupped on another stupid sob, weary and drained and seconds away from passing the fuck out. He needed that, too.
TG says:
*No, he could do it - he could piss him off enough, he knew it. Dave was just so easy to hate, wasn't he? With his cocky attitude, and his tremendous amounts of ironic bullshit - he could do it. He continued to latch onto the troll. He hated this. He hated that Karkat was the one comforting him. Everyone on this stupid fucking rock had someone. Kanaya had Rose. Karkat had Gamzee. Terezi was off eating chalk somewhere. Aradia had Sollux. Who did Dave have? He used to think he had Terezi but even now he didn't want her. He fucking... he wanted John here. He never had a chance to tell the stupid kid how he felt and now it was too late. Dave had no one, and he never would. No one would want something like this. Some defeated, discarded, useless fucking kid that'd fucked up. Got fucked up, got fucked, and was worthless now. No one wanted an uncool kid. He'd fucked up so bad. Bro was probably rolling over in his grave. He'd sullied the Strider name. ->
*"I l-let them down," he whimpered. Bro, John, everyone - Dave had let them down. Oh, fuck. He hadn't even said shit that was that awful - it was just really inopportune. "I s-said you were fucked up... b-but I didn't mean it like that, I-" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "W-we all are, I f-felt bad he didn't know how you were doing... H-he said I'd regret it... he said.... I'd regret it and I do, I'm so fucking sorry I was just scared and couldn't think-" He was talking too fast and he wasn't breathing properly, the combination making him really dizzy. He leaned on Karkat, sobbing still, his entire form wracked with tremors. "I just want to fucking die, dude. I fucking w-want my bro, I want John here - I don't f-fucking have anyone. Fucking kill me... just do it..." John would never want him after something like this. And if he died, if he just fucking died - he could be with his bro again. That's all Dave wanted. He just wanted someone to fucking give a shit about him that he could give a shit about back. ->
*"Please... I c-can't do this..." He couldn't breathe, and he was hyperventilating against Karkat, his hands gripping him again and the kid erratically crying and breathing difficultly against the troll. For fuck's sake... Dave was pathetic.
TC says:
*"N-no, just, shut up, okay? Shut up.." He felt so bad. He felt so, so bad. There was no way he could make this better, was there? He grit his teeth and let the kid sob against him, his hands running along Dave's back, and he just.. He didn't know what to do at this point. It didn't make Dave worthless. At least, not in troll culture - and he was sure it didn't make him worthless in human culture either. "This w-wasn't your fucking fault, okay? There was no way in all of fucking Alternia --" oh, right. That wasn't there anymore. "-.. No fucking way that you let anyone down. I don't give a shit what you say about me. I don't care, I don't fucking care, don't.. Just stop crying. Stop fucking crying." He should've taken his own advice. He let his teeth grind together, and he couldn't stop his own sobs from escaping him, and he just.. He practically blubbered. That was really all he was good for, wasn't it? "John is such a fucking forgiving guy, and you don't have anything t-to apologize for. He doesn't even have to know, okay? He doesn't have to know - we'll see him in.. What, a -->
*sweep? A couple human.. Years, or whatever the fuck. I don't know. But we don't have to tell anyone. No one.. A-aside from Rose and Kanaya, you can keep your fucking dignity. You're not letting anyone down. And.." And..? "I'm not.. F-fucking killing you. Just.. Just calm down." He couldn't calm down, Karkat knew that. Not after what happened to him. He'd never be the same again, would he? "You CAN fucking do it, you can do it - you know what any of us h-have fucking been through? It.. It sucks, and it hurts, and everything is shitty and nothing is okay but you'll b-be alright, just.. Fuck, I don't know what to do. I don't know what the fuck to do. I can't kill you, I can't fucking kill you. I'm not.." He wasn't like that. He wasn't like most trolls. He just didn't have it in him. He wanted to say that he cared about Dave. He wanted to say that he'd be here, that he'd listen, that he'd take care of him, but.. Karkat knew that the moment the kid wasn't like this anymore, he wouldn't. He wouldn't think twice about going back to his dislike, he wouldn't think twice about going back -->
*to trying to avoid him pretty much as much as he could, and.. He couldn't. It wasn't his job to take care of Dave. It was his job to take care of Gamzee, and.. As pitiful as the human looked, as much as he cried, as much as it made Karkat's blood-pusher ache, he knew he couldn't do it. "I'm not like that."
TG says:
*Even if John never knew... Dave would. Dave would know. It'd keep him from being that much more honest with Egbert, that much more loving and open. It'd be some horrible secret that he couldn't let go of, that he couldn't trust John with even if every bit and piece of him wanted to. Because it would make John hate him, and he'd never want to talk to him again, or spend time with him, because Dave had been marked. "I n-never told him how I felt... Rose knows... but he doesn't. He doesn't kn-know that I love him. It makes my heart f-fucking hurt... knowing that he died... even if he god-tier'd it still isn't f-fair. John didn't deserve to die..." And Dave couldn't do anything to stop it. He just wished - they'd never played this stupid game. He hated it. He fucking hated it. He never wanted to do this. Okay, that was a lie, he did - but he wished he woulda had a little fucking foresight. "I know you can't unders-stand stupid human bullshit..." ->
*Trolls had quadrants. Dave learned that the hard way. They didn't know what love or any of that bullshit noise was. "But I l-love John more than anything and I... H-he can't see me like this..." Dave just wanted... someone. He wanted John but he wanted someone that... fuck. If he wasn't going to take the easy way out and just die... he really needed help.
TC says:
*Karkat swallowed. Didn't understand..? "...I.." Come on. You've been wanting to talk about it - you've been wanting to tell SOMEONE, you've been wanting to have someone understand because no one else could. No one but a human, and here.. Here was Dave, opening himself up, speaking like this, and.. "I.. I understand more than you think, okay? I'm.. I'm not supposed to feel your stupid fucking.. 'love', but.." How could he tell Dave that he loved the troll that'd done this to him? How could he tell Dave that the strongest feeling in the world, the strongest feeling he could ever have - was directed at the one being that'd put Dave through such torture that he sat here, broken. He ran his fingers through the blonde's hair, his brows knitted and and he sort of.. Unconsciously tugged the other closer to him, just wanting to feel closeness from someone. Even if it was Dave. "He didn't get it. Gamzee didn't fucking get it. I tried to tell him it was bad, I tried to fucking tell him, I tried to explain to him that he can't.. He can't do that.. And.." Here came the hard part. He tightened -->
*hold on Dave. "He didn't get it.. W-when I fucking.. When I told him I loved him. Because.. Fuck, I don't.. I don't feel it like trolls should, I don't fucking feel 'flushed' or 'pale' for him, I.. I fucking love him, okay? Maybe.. That's why I'm so willing to forgive him, or try to forget about it, or.." He was shaking, wasn't he? He was shaking. "H-how you feel about John? You feel like you'd sacrifice fucking.. Anything for him, right?" He was burying his nose in Dave's hair before he really realized it, trying so hard not to break down, trying so hard not t ocry and let out those stupid noises that he so desperately wanted to. "A-at least he'd get it, if you told him. At least he'd fucking understand what love was, but Gamzee? He didn't. He didn't fucking get it, Dave, the taintchafing piece of shit didn't understand that I fucking love him like a human would love their fucking.. Mate or whtaever the shit you assholes get. There isn't a fucking thing I wouldn't do for Gamzee, and.. I hate that he did this to you, fuck, I hate it, but he's m-my fucking.. He's my fucking -->
*everything."
TG says:
*This greatly confused Dave. It almost made him hurt worse. That may have been from how tightly he was holding him, his broken arm aching something fierce from the pressure, but he didn't... he didn't want to let go. He knew Karkat hated him. But he needed something. He needed someone. Even though Karkat smelled like that room, even if it made him recall every disgusting detail, he needed this. Because if Dave was left alone, left awake and alone with his thoughts, he would probably do something really fucking stupid. He probably WOULD try to go provoke Gamzee into killing him, or he'd strife with Terezi and poets would have a fucking field day with that. He would do anything for John. He wished he was here. Even now, with how he was, he would break down and sob much like now, but John would be here and he would be so fucking okay. Even if John said no, even if he turned him down - he kenw John would at least humor him and that would be good enough. ->
*It pissed him off Gamzee wouldn't humor Karkat. At least fucking pretend to understand so he didn't turn into this. His head spun with all the different thoughts racing through it; he hated Gamzee, but there was a small part of Dave that wanted to be a better person even though he knew he couldn't be. He wanted to walk it off but he could barely stand; and he fucking hated that he felt sorry for Karkat when he should have hated him, too. "Th-that's... fucking..." And he choked on another sob. "T-terrible, dude, I - c-can't..." This wasn't okay. He couldn't be okay with it. He couldn't not hate the troll that did this to him. Dave didn't deserve it. Karkat deserved someone better. He hated Karkat but not in the same way - well, he didn't actually hate Karkat. He didn't know what to fucking feel.
TC says:
*Then, he was holding tighter to the human - sobs wracking his body against his will and his brows knit so tightly it almost hurt. His breathing was ragged and pained, and he couldn't believe - he couldn't believe he'd just told Dave. Dave of all people. "He doesn't get it. He's incapable of getting it, but he's.. He's flushed for me." He didn't know if Dave really knew what that meant. He almost didn't care at this point. "John.. Will accept you, okay?" He didn't know what else to say. It was all he could really manage - to try to convince Dave that John would accept him, that he wouldn't reject him, wouldn't think less of him because of something that wasn't his fault. He'd turned, pulling Dave against his chest and trying to lean up against the wall a couple feat from them, and he'd kept his arms wrapped tightly around the human. Gamzee wasn't going to like this. He was going to be able to tell - see the blood on him, smell the stench of vomit and he knew that when the taller troll saw him, that when he saw him and smelled Dave on him and saw the way he looked, the guilty -->
*expression that Karkat knew he would wear, he'd be in for it. So he clung tighter - he clung tighter and he tried to suppress his sobs, tried to keep himself from whimpering or making those pathetic sounds he knew he would've made had he not held back. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't f-fuc--.." He stopped, took in a breath, and tried to steady himself. "H-Hold him back. Teach him better." He really was, too. "It's my fault that he did this."
TG says:
*Dave could hate Gamzee with ever fiber of his being. And he would - he did. But blaming anyone was pointless. Yes, the kid was a mess. Yes, the kid would be scarred for a long time, if not for life. But right now... there would be no use. Maybe, sometime later, Dave would be content with the idea of revenge. He might even exact it one day. Maybe. He seemed much more comfortable clinging to the troll and crying himself out. He was getting exhausted...
*Dave only had a small understanding of what the troll relationships were or meant. He vaguely recalled Terezi trying to explain it once, and he really hadn't cared much. It was all Greek to him, and it didn't really seem important. Maybe if he had a better understanding... if he had known what that had meant... he would have gotten out of there faster, ran away and wouldn't have... gotten... He hoped John would accept him. It's all Dave wanted. He never told anyone, but he'd only played the game to get to meet him face to face. And tell him... How he felt. He moved when Karkat moved him, still clinging to him and sniveling. They sounded so pathetic. But Dave needed this. Fingers gripped into Karkat's shirtm the boy taking deep shuddering breaths. He wanted to calm down but he couldn't... Karkat spoke again and he shook his head. He wasn't mad at Karkat. He didn't hate him. He could try, but he just couldn't hate someone that he... felt bad for. "N-no," he croaked, ->
* rubbing his face into the troll's shirt. It was no one's fault. Not Dave's, not Karkat's... and if Gamzee was acting on troll instincts it wasn't his, either. Dave could hate him. Dave could hate Gamzee with ever fiber of his being. And he would - he did. But blaming anyone was pointless. Yes, the kid was a mess. Yes, the kid would be scarred for a long time, if not for life. But right now... there would be no use. Maybe, sometime later, Dave would be content with the idea of revenge. He might even exact it one day. Maybe. He seemed much more comfortable clinging to the troll and crying himself out. He was getting exhausted...
TC says:
*Karkat didn't really know what to do with himself. Whether he should hold Dave tighter, should push him away, or just.. He didn't know. He couldn't figure it out - he felt like the boy was clinging to him like there was nothing left and Karkat didn't know how to handle that. "N-No, what?" He swallowed, letting out a deep breath and burying his face in Dave's hair, his hands trembling and trying to find a place to stay. He didn't know where to put them. The human's back, his shoulders, his hair, his.. Well, the back seemed to be the best idea. So he let his hands slip up and down Dave's back in what he hoped was a soothing manner, because he.. He was really, really terrible at comforting humans. That was for sure. He didn't know what to do - he didn't know what they liked, he didn't think a 'shooshpap' would work for sure, because humans were so different from trolls that he didn't understand it. He'd try, though. He would try. He just hoped that Kanaya wouldn't walk out and see this, or.. Wow, he really hoped Gamzee hadn't been sneaking around. Who knew whether or not the guy was -->
*in the vents, hiding away, spying on him or whatever he did in his spare time. Karkat let his nails gently, very gently, run across Dave's back, just ever so lightly in the places that weren't marred, the places that were least affected, just hoping he could help in.. Some way. "It is, th-though. It is my fault." He'd been Gamzee's moirail. He'd been the one that was supposed to keep him under control, to watch him, to take care of him, to pity him - and he'd messed it all up. He'd left the taller troll alone, and he'd.. Seen him cry. For the first time. Just because he left, and he didn't believe that Karkat would be back. Why would he, anyway? "H-He's my responsibility."
TG says:
*He was... actually managing to calm down. Not because he was any less unseated by what happened, but because he was pushing himself past the point of 'too much'. Another deep, shuddering breath came and his broken arm loosened its grip, pulling back to hug to his chest. The other arm was still around him, and his cheek was nuzzling into Karkat's shirt. The motion of the hand on his back was intensely comforting and he almost felt like maybe he could simmer down. At least enough to stop crying, maybe... Another deep breath, Dave opening his eyes. His tears were still very much falling but he wasn't wracked with sobs, instead trembling from the sheer exhaustion he was feeling. "Y-you.... a good guy, K-Karkat..." His voice was weak, and he wasn't crying as much as he had been before. "Y-you wouldn't... have wished that upon anyone... e-even your worst enemy..." Karkat was a good guy. He was a good guy. This may have been partial negligence on his part but he was wholly good. As much as he didn't want to ever admit it. He was good. "Y-you're.. a good guy."
TC says:
*No, he wasn't. He really wasn't. Karkat was the scum of the meteor and he knew it - but there really wasn't much he could do about it, was there? He just shivered, wrapping both arms around Dave and pulling him closer, a few tears leaking down his cheeks and onto the blonde's hair. He was sure that the human wouldn't care. Not in the state he was in. "N-No, I'm not." But Dave sure seemed to think so, didn't he? "Just.. Let me get you t-to the couch, okay? Just.. Fucking bear with me." Looping two arms under the other's shoulders, he attempted to help the human stand to the best of his ability. Karkat wasn't weak - but he wasn't necessarily strong, either, and it was a little harder than he'd thought. He grunted, gritting his teeth together, eyes clenched tightly shut as he pulled, and when he'd finally pulled the human onto the couch, he'd leant back - pulling Dave to him, pulling the blonde so he could rest his head on Karkat's chest and stomach - one leg on either side. He just.. He didn't know what else to do. Dave obviously didn't want to let go of him any time soon - and.. -->
*Well, Kanaya was probably going to see it regardless. "Just.. C-come here, man. Get some fucking rest, okay..?"
TG says:
*But he was doing this for Dave, wasn't he? Didn't that make him a good guy? Even Rose had to leave when she saw him like this. She couldn't comfort him. B-but now Dave was... feeling a lot better. At least he was wiped out enough to not feel like killing himself. When Karkat got up he did his best to follow, his knees weak like the rest of him. "Okay." He felt bad for doing this to someone that he knew hated him. It was the only feeling he'd had that wasn't intense disgust for himself, so that was a start. When he was laying on Karkat he rubbed his cheek against his chest, shuddering and sighing. He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, Karkat..." he mumbled quietly. "I kn-know you hate this." I know you hate me. But he appreciated it... He needed it. His arm held tighter and he hiccupped on another stupid sob, weary and drained and seconds away from passing the fuck out. He needed that, too.
TC: "Shut up." His hands ran through the other's blonde locks, and he couldn't help but sniffle when he heard those words come out of Dave's lips. He shouldn't be sorry. It wasn't his fault that Karkat didn't take care of Gamzee like he should've, it wasn't his fault that he was the worst moirail ever and it wasn't his fault this happened. "I don't hate you." It was quiet, barely there, really, and he let his head fall back on the arm of the couch, pulling Dave close and just trying to keep the kid under control. He knew he was hurting. He knew that what Dave was going through hurt and he might never.. Fully get over it. He shuddered, trying to push out the graphic thoughts of what his best friend, of what the troll he.. Was in love with had done to Dave. What Gamzee had done. He swallowed roughly and tried to look anywhere but Dave. He couldn't handle it right now.  "Just go the fuck to sleep, everything's gonna be fine. I don't hate you. I don't fucking hate you.." He didn't, either. He didn't know why - but he couldn't hate Dave. He disliked him, but he never hated him.
TG:	"Oh..." was all the drained kid could say in response. In addition to a 'that's good...' That comforted him; and had he more energy he probably would have told Karkat the same thing. He was exhausted. He couldn't hold onto consciousness anymore. His grip loosened on Karkat as he passed out, breathing evening out and the kid's shaking subsiding little by little. Had he any more energy left in him he would have thanked him, too. A lot of things had been chasing in his head; most important he'd more or less lost the drive to try and kill himself, or find someone to do the job for him. Now, it more seemed like he was so very intent on seeing John. If that was the thought that was going to keep him alive... keep him positive, keep him from losing all hope then that was a very good thing. Let him have that thought, that hope. And Karkat was... doing a lot to help. If Dave knew any better he'd be trying a lot harder ->
to keep his opinion of Karkat that he had negative. He wanted to dislike him, too, but.... after this? It'd be hard to keep thinking that way. It was a few minutes later that Kanaya entered the room again; without Rose. "Karkat?" She didn't see him right away, and the couch was a little off to the side out of any straight line of sight. Once she spotted them she stopped, blinking at them curiously. "I see..." she murmured quietly, approaching the couch to sit on the floor beside them.
TC:	He didn't really know what to say. He wanted to ask how it went with Rose - he wanted to ask.. Anything, really, but all he could do was hold the boy that lie on his chest and frown, his brows knit tightly on his forehead and his hands running through the blonde locks. "So.." He didn't even want Kanaya to see him like this, but the kid was drained. He'd be heartless if he kicked Dave off of him, especially.. Since all of this was his fault. He didn't know what to do with himself at this point. He needed to go back to Gamzee soon. The guy was probably flipping out, thinking he was never coming back again. He seemed to be pretty upset when he left and the idea of making him feel that bad again.. He hated it. He never wanted to hurt Gamzee. Even though he knew at this point there was no avoiding it. "I didn't know what to fucking do. He was crying, he freaked out, h-he.." He started talking details. "He t-tried to tell me every fucking thing that Gamzee did to him and it just.. I couldn't take it, okay? He needed somebody, and.. I was.. I was here, and.. W-where's Rose?" He was -->
getting anxious. Really anxious. He needed to know how things went. He couldn't.. He couldn't let anything bad happen, and at this point he didn't trust either of them off alone. He didn't trust them not to look for Gamzee. "How did things go with..?" He asked, and it was hesitant, audibly so. He was afraid to ask. That much was obvious. His blood pusher raced in his chest and he clutched a little tighter to Dave, his teeth grinding into eachother and his worried gaze directed at Kanaya.
TG: She laid a gentle hand on his arm. "I understand, Karkat. I am glad you were here for him." She was a little disappointed that Rose would not sit by Dave and comfort him, but she understood the pain that it put her through. She also understood from Dave's end how he might not want someone he was so close with to see him this way, or to be on the receiving end of his emotions. Karkat was probably best for this, all things considered. At the question about Rose Kanaya sighed, pulling her hand back. "She is not happy, but this should come as no surprise." She did not want to recount the details of what had happened, but she figured Karkat wouldn't want to hear them anyway. There was a lot of crying and similar necessity for someone to be there. "Rose does wish to cause Gamzee harm, but she will not. She knows it is not in good taste to hurt someone that we may end up needing at some point. She's requested that he not cross her line of sight, otherwise she might do regrettable harm." Kanaya was not one hundred percent sure if Rose would ->
stick to her word about not seeking out Gamzee, but... "She does wish to speak with him, just once, however." She worried her bottom lip with her fangs, glancing off. "Alone." Kanaya trusted that Rose would not kill him, however... Rose had left her intentions vague. "I believe she just wants to express how devastated it has left her. And her brother."
TC: Oh. That was no good. Karkat swallowed, but nodded. He'd talk to Gamzee about it when he went back to see him, and while he did want to see Gamzee, he.. He didn't really want to go back soon. He didn't want to see the look on his moirail -.. Matesprit's face. He couldn't handle it. "Yeah, I'll.. I'll talk to him about that." Oh. Alone? "...What?" He couldn't do alone. He didn't trust Rose not to attack Gamzee and he wasn't sure he trusted Gamzee not to kill her. He'd done enough damage to them, he didn't need that looming over him too. He took in a deep breath and nodded. "Y-Yeah, I'll.. I'll talk to him, but.." Can they watch? Can they just.. Make sure nothing happens? "We need to make sure they don't hurt eachother, okay? We need to just.. I know she said alone but we can't fucking risk it, we need to watch over them. We need to make sure, we can't.. We can't take any chances." He just wanted to be clear. He wanted to make sure that Kanaya knew. He couldn't have anything happen to Rose and.. He really couldn't have anything happen to Gamzee. He'd break. "So.. -->
When?" He really didn't know how else to phrase it. He was running his hands through Dave's hair, absent-mindedly, really unable to say much else. Karkat was a mess. There were still tear streaks from his sobs, still blood covering him - not his own, mind you, and he just. He looked terrible, he felt terrible, everything was terrible and everything hurt.
TG:	Kanaya couldn't look back at Karkat. "She said that if they were not alone... she would take extreme measures to make sure he did not leave that room ever again." Those had been her exact words. Whether it meant that they would both die, or Gamzee would was unclear. "You may not, but I trust her word. I do not believe I would appreciate someone else listening in on a conversation concerning such matters." She respected the wish for privacy, and even if she did not trust Gamzee she trusted Rose. She sighed again. "As soon as possible. I know it would be best to let them both wait and cool off but Rose is... persistent." Rose wanted to be angry for this. Kanaya could understand that. She reached out again, grabbing Karkat's arm in a reassuring way. "She has agreed to let us stand outside, away from the door. She just wants to be in there, door closed, alone with him." Her grip tightened. She was not concerned for Gamzee. She was concerned for Karkat. "I believe we should trust her. We will be close by if things go wrong. I am more worried about what she will do if we do not let her than what she will do if we go along with it."
Kanaya couldn't look back at Karkat. "She said that if they were not alone... she would take extreme measures to make sure he did not leave that room ever again." Those had been her exact words. Whether it meant that they would both die, or Gamzee would was unclear. "You may not, but I trust her word. I do not believe I would appreciate someone else listening in on a conversation concerning such matters." She respected the wish for privacy, and even if she did not trust Gamzee she trusted Rose. She sighed again. "As soon as possible. I know it would be best to let them both wait and cool off but Rose is... persistent." Rose wanted to be angry for this. Kanaya could understand that. She reached out again, grabbing Karkat's arm in a reassuring way. "She has agreed to let us stand outside, away from the door. She just wants to be in there, door closed, alone with him."->
 Her grip tightened. She was not concerned for Gamzee. She was concerned for Karkat. "I believe we should trust her. We will be close by if things go wrong. I am more worried about what she will do if we do not let her than what she will do if we go along with it."
TC:	"O-Okay.. Alright, I can do that, if.. If we're close to them, I'm okay with that." No, he wasn't. He wasn't okay with that, and he never would be. He seemed to be developing this terrible habit of grinding his teeth together. He sighed, and let his hands rest on Dave - not really sure what else to do with them. "So.. I don't know where he is right now. I told him to find another room, but.." He was sure he could find Gamzee. He was sure he'd be abe to locate him, he knew his moirail well enough. He swallowed roughly and gently tried to remove himself from Dave's person, but really found it difficult. "Fuck. What am I going to do about this?" His scowl was plastered onto his face and it stubbornly stayed there, with no signs of leaving any time soon. He tried to sit up again - finally prying Dave away without really hurting him or aggravating his injuries, and slowly lie him down, trying to be as gentle as he could. "Okay, okay, we can.. Do this, I guess, it'll be fucking fine. Peachy." His blood-pusher was thudding so hard against his chest he could practically see it. His head -->
hurt, his limbs shook, and he was in an overal state of fear that he couldn't shake. "F-fine, we can trust her. I just. I don't want anything to happen to them, okay? If we fucking. If we hear something too loud, sounds too bad, we just.. We gotta get in there. We have to. I can't risk losing.." He couldn't risk losing Gamzee. Not with how much he loved him. Not with how much he never got the chance to explain.
TG:	Kanaya helped him gently move Dave, allowing the boy to lie face-down on the couch, his face facing away from the back of the piece of furniture. She gently stroked his hair, frowing a little and murmuring something to him under her breath before she turned to Karkat. She frowned again, at the other troll, her hand on his arm again. She wanted so badly to be supportive, but she didn't want to make the first move. She had a deep respect and understanding of Karkat, and she hoped that the feeling was mutual. It was an unspoken bond that she very much cherished. "Karkat?" she tried gently, hand c...arefu...lly... lifting to gently cup his cheek, thumb tenderly brushing away his tears. "Things will be okay." Kanaya wanted very desperately to believe this. Because if she belived it, maybe Karkat would, too. Maybe Rose would. Maybe even Dave would. Things had to be okay. Kanaya could not lose her cool. In a way, she was the glue holding them all together. Dave had been a help in that but - but... not anymore. She had to build them back up again. They couldn't afford to fall.
TC:	When Karkat nodded, it was with a frown. He would wait for Rose. He would wait for her to show up and then he would take action, but for now.. Right now, he needed to wait. Fortunately for him - he didn't need to wait very long. When she came out - she looked furious. Well, that was probably because she WAS furious. There were tear-tracks down her cheeks, her makeup was slightly smeared, she just.. Well, she looked like a trainwreck. She'd tried to gather herself together as much as she could, but it hadn't worked too well. "Do I need to wait for something, or can I have my word?" That was the only thing she'd spoken. Really, that was the only thing she could say without sounding angry. Even then, there was an edge to her words - and Karkat couldn't help himself when he cringed, when he tried to shrink away from the situation. He knew he couldn't though. He knew he couldn't. "Y-yeah, let's.." Let's go, is what he meant. He'd lead the way, he had to. He was the only one who could figure it out - or at least, that's what he thought. "I don't know where he is right now, but.. I can -->
find him, I have a fucking guess, so.." Rose just gave him a look, really. She just nodded to him, slipped by Kanaya's side, and took a light hold on the female troll's arm, as if.. Trying to comfort herself somehow.
TG:	Kanaya rest her hand atop Rose's arm, squeezing it gently. The air between the three of them was tense and she didn't like it one bit. But she took small comfort at least in Dave finally being asleep after having been comforted, even if it was by someone that she wouldn't quite expect. She really was glad Karkat had been there for him. After she'd spoken with Rose, and after the human had said she wanted a moment to be by herself, it had made the troll's feelings change considerably. She did not like seeing everyone like this. It was very stressful and that was not what they needed. Amongst everything, where she should have felt the worst for Dave, or for Rose... she found herself feeling remarkably sympathetic towards Karkat. It was not fair that he had to be in the middle of this. His moirail was... a handful, and Karkat was going to feel like he himself was being punished for anything that happened because of the guilt he felt. ->
Kanaya knew he had it, because Karkat was always the one that felt guilty about everything. He had every reason to, now; having to support someone that did something immeasurably wrong. She sighed audibly, in spite of herself, still following Karkat, Rose in tow.
TC:	He'd been looking for his moirail for at least a half an hour. He could almost feel the others getting irritated with him, but the only thing he could think about was finding his.. Karkat didn't even know what Gamzee was at this point. Moirail, matesprit, materail, whatever. Point is, he could feel them all getting irritated, he could feel HIMSELF getting aggravated, and the more he tried to find him the more he was beginning to think Gamzee didn't want to be found. Well - up until he came across the stained doorknob, red with Dave's blood. It was one of the labs - and when he opened the door, there he was. Gamzee was there, hiding away from the rest of them, behind one of the large tubes around the center. He looked back - nodding to Rose, and stepping away from the door. Really, he should've told Gamzee. He should've warned him, but.. He couldn't face him right now. He'd wait - he'd wait by the door, he'd allow Gamzee to see him there, to know everything was okay, but that was it. He wasn't going to confront him. He couldn't handle it, not with.. Not with Dave's blood all over -->
him. He opened the door, and Rose took her que - stepping inside, her fists at her side, her form trembling with anger and her face as  blank and calm as she could keep it, which, since it was Rose, was fairly convincing.
TG:	Stepping into the doorway Rose took a deep breath; lifting her hands in a motion that drew her energy upwards... and then breathed out, lowering her hands to lead it out of herself. She didn't need a clear head for this. She needed to form her thoughts, though. "I know you're in here." Her words were dark. "I can smell you from the doorway." The tubes in the center of the lab gave off an eerie glow, and it somehow made Rose look.... creepier. Menacing, almost. Which was good. She wanted to look threatening. Karkat, however, was looking rather the opposite; wringing his hands and waiting, waiting for Gamzee to see him, waiting for the Capricorn to see him standing there looking sorry, so sorry, he was so sorry - he was so sorry he had to let Rose into here, so sorry he had to bring this entourage, so sorry that he couldn't do anything to stop anything to be anything better for him. He glanced at Kanaya with a worried, defeated look. He so very much wanted everything to be okay. Tell him it would be okay.
TC: Gamzee bristled. That wasn't Karkat's voice. No, that was feminine, and it was angry. He turned around - trying to find the source of the voice, and a slight sneer on his face. He promised Karkat he'd be good. He promised, he wouldn't do anything bad. "Like I can't motherfucking smell you, too?" It was low, it was threatening, and he had every intent to insult her. He couldn't hurt her, but he could offend her, right? "What do you want?" He didn't know how she could've found him. He thought no one was going to go looking for him - and the only reason he'd left as much of a clue as he had, was so his Karkat could get to him. To come see him. That.. Raised his suspicion a bit. He took a closer look - standing to his feet and tilting his head, his eyes squinting and his lip curling. When he saw Karkat - wringing his hands, looking guilty, behind Rose - and Kanaya there, too, he felt his chest tighten. His brows knit, his face fell, and his lips parted - his teeth poking out over his lower lip and a shot of such /pain/ running through him it had momentarily shortened his breath. -->
He wanted to ask. He wanted to ask how Karkat could do this to him, how he could lead them there when he knew that they hated him. His eyes were wide, a strong contrast to the usual half-lidded gaze he always wore, and he had to bite into his lip to keep himself silent. That wasn't fair. "Why?" It was the only word he uttered, but he did it with such a strangled voice, his gaze directly baring into his best friend, his moirail, the one he pitied so much. He didn't understand. Behind Karkat - Kanaya placed a hand on his shoulder - sensing the discomfort. She.. Didn't really know what to do about this, other than be as supportive as she could. She knew this must've been painful, and she was willing to step in, if.. If it came to that.
TG:
"I'd like your heart on a silver platter, but I guess tearing your eyes out might be good enough." Karkat's eyes widened at that; he had already felt the intense pang of guilt from the look Gamzee had given him - he felt it, it was physical pain that made him nearly double over, holding his midsection. B-but what was - ? Rose couldn't... Her eyes glowed for an instant, her hand waving behind her; making the door slam shut. Just before it rattled against the frame Karkat had tried to stop it, jumping at it with a frightened "N-no-!" ...but it was too late. The door was shut and locked. He furiously pounded at it, more tears forming in the corners of his eyes again and spilling down his cheeks. "F-fuck, Kan, sh-she's gonna kill him... she's g-gonna kill him..." He slid to the floor, face in his hands, forehead resting against the metal door as he fucking lost it. Inside, it was almost as if a wind had started; Rose's hair had gone completely white and was whipping around her face. Eyes were glowing. Black tendrils, darker than even the darkness of the room, rose from the floor to encricle her. "You've taken something from me," she growled. "I want recompence."
TC:	Kanaya didn't know what to think about this. She trusted Rose. She trusted Rose a lot, but.. She was unsure. The way that the girl had looked, how angry she was, and that /pained/ expression that Gamzee had worn made the strings in her blood pusher ache. Hesitantly - because she didn't want to upset him, she wrapped her arms around Karkat's shoulders, pulling him back and giving him quiet, near silent sounds, trying to get him to calm down, to be quiet if he could - but she knew it'd be hard. "She won't kill him." She pulled him back into her chest, her chin setting on top of his head. She didn't know if he would like this sort of contact or not, but.. She often knew that sometimes trolls, especially Karkat, needed comfort like this to keep them under control. "I spoke with her about that." She was very specific in that, too.

The moment Gamzee saw those black tendrils, that angry voice and the way that Rose bristled, he knew he wasn't in a good place. He'd made a promise to Karkat. He'd broken it once already and he couldn't do it again, but.. "What the motherfuck did I take -->
from you, huh?" He wanted to laugh, wanted to snort, wanted to play this all off as a joke because that was what Gamzee did, or what he used to do, but he knew he couldn't. "I didn't take shit." He took a step forward, searching his sylladex for his clubs - just in case he'd need them. Which, chances were, he might. "You can try, you motherfuckin' /bitch/." He put emphasis on it. "You can try to tear out these eyes of mine, but I'm all evasive, you know? Ain't gonna find me if I don't want to be found." His hands flexed and relaxed, and repeated that action - over and over again.
TG:	Karkat pulled her arms around him involuntarily, needing her comfort and her presence. Much like Dave had needed him. Ah. He could sympathize. The heels of his hands ground into his eyes and then his temples, Karkat trembling and trying so very hard to stop crying, stop worrying, stop being such a fucking wiggler about this. "Sh-she will," he argued miserably. "He d-did such a bad thing to Dave, the f-fucking kid - h-he's in such bad shape, Kan... s-such bad shape and it's my fault, R-Rose should be attacking me - Roooose," he nearly wailed, though his voice was so weak and pitiful it barely raised above the sound of his own blood-pusher trying to beat out of his chest. "C-come get me... please..." The blonde obviously couldn't hear him. She was glaring at the troll, features set into a firm line of disgust and hatred. "You stole my baby brother's innocence." They may have been the same age, but Rose regarded Dave as a younger sibling. And Dave would never admit to it, but he enjoyed the thought of her being an older sister. She sure acted like it. The wind quickened, Rose reaching into her sleeves and extracting her knitting needles. She wasn't going to use them. ...yet. "You cannot hide from me, you miserable, despicable little /thing/."
Karkat pulled her arms around him involuntarily, needing her comfort and her presence. Much like Dave had needed him. Ah. He could sympathize. The heels of his hands ground into his eyes and then his temples, Karkat trembling and trying so very hard to stop crying, stop worrying, stop being such a fucking wiggler about this. "Sh-she will," he argued miserably. "He d-did such a bad thing to Dave, the f-fucking kid - h-he's in such bad shape, Kan... s-such bad shape and it's my fault, R-Rose should be attacking me - Roooose," he nearly wailed, though his voice was so weak and pitiful it barely raised above the sound of his own blood-pusher trying to beat out of his chest. "C-come get me... please..." The blonde obviously couldn't hear him. She was glaring at the troll, features set into a firm line of disgust and hatred. "You stole my baby brother's innocence." They may have been the same age, but Rose regarded Dave as a younger sibling. And Dave would never admit to it, but he enjoyed the thought of her being an older sister. She sure acted like it. ->
The wind quickened, Rose reaching into her sleeves and extracting her knitting needles. She wasn't going to use them. ...yet. "You cannot hide from me, you miserable, despicable little /thing/."
TC:	Kanaya didn't know how to react to this. She was a little nervous herself - but she kept herself calm, she made sure she appeared to be alright. Even if, in reality, she wasn't. No, she was afraid, too, though nowhere near as much as Karkat was. She tightened her hold on him, muttering soft words of encouragement. She was afraid for Karkat. She was terrified for him - and every wail, every cry, sent pain through her chest. "Please, calm down. It will be okay." She didn't know, though. She really didn't. She was beginning to think that this had been a bad idea.

"A despicable little motherfuckin' thing, huh?" Well, he could agree to that. He was pretty despicable, wasn't he? Apparently despicable enough for Karkat to lead them to him, to bring the people that hated him, and not in a caliginous way, to where he hid. To where he tried to stay away, because he knew how terrible he was and how much no one wanted him around. He was laughing, though his feelings betrayed him and it came out sounding strangled, because he was hurt. He was hurt so badly. "You don't know shit, do you? -->
We don't work like you, motherfucker, no. This ain't how we trolls all kick our romance bullshit, and you got to be getting your understanding on that. Guess he didn't get it, did he? Motherfucker was real upset with me. I was none the fuckin' wiser, either. No, where I motherfuckin' come from, that's how we show some of our romance, dog. That's how we get our motherfuckin' black romance, our hatefuck, our motherfuckin' caliginous shit on. Guess he didn't know that." He swallowed, and the smile on his face wasn't amused, wasn't happy, wasn't anything like it should've been. No, it was visibly pained and he had to hold onto that feeling of pain, that feeling of betrayal he felt from Karkat and that overwhelming ache in his heart to keep his anger at bay. "Sorry you all see me like that. Kickin' your wicked ignorance really does motherfuckin' put a damper on first impressions, huh?" It wasn't working. His suppression was fading, his anger rising, and he was trying so hard. He was trying so hard not to let it loose, but it was getting difficult. "Maybe I'd break my motherfuckin' -->
promise, just for you. It'll be a fuckin' present."
TG: Karkat leaned against her, trying so hard to stop crying, to stop thinking so negatively, to stop just... feeling like this. He had to trust Gamzee. He had to trust Rose. He had to trust them because he didn't fucking have anything else to trust in. Not himself, not Kanaya, not Dave or anyone. - "At least you aren't hard of hearing," Rose sneered at him as he repeated her sentiment. Anger flared. "You GUESS?" When the volume of her voice raised the tendrils of darkness flared slightly, growing outwards from herself. The wind picked up even further, and her knitting needles had begun to faintly glow also. "You GUESS he didn't know it when he screamed? WHEN HE CRIED? When he BEGGED YOU TO STOP?" Every time her voice rose like that, a wicked, twisted sounding version of something dark and malicious sounded too, and the location of its origin was impossible to pinpoint. It sounded like it was coming from all around them, from every darkened corner of the room. Tears fell down her cheeks and dripped to the floor, sizzling upon impact as if they were boiling or made of acid. "Maybe I'd break your MOTHERFUCKING NECK." She was approaching him, but her stance made no indication of her wanting to attack just yet.
Karkat leaned against her, trying so hard to stop crying, to stop thinking so negatively, to stop just... feeling like this. He had to trust Gamzee. He had to trust Rose. He had to trust them because he didn't fucking have anything else to trust in. Not himself, not Kanaya, not Dave or anyone. - "At least you aren't hard of hearing," Rose sneered at him as he repeated her sentiment. Anger flared. "You GUESS?" When the volume of her voice raised the tendrils of darkness flared slightly, growing outwards from herself. The wind picked up even further, and her knitting needles had begun to faintly glow also. "You GUESS he didn't know it when he screamed? WHEN HE CRIED? When he BEGGED YOU TO STOP?" Every time her voice rose like that, a wicked, twisted sounding version of something dark and malicious sounded too, and the location of its origin was impossible to pinpoint. ->
It sounded like it was coming from all around them, from every darkened corner of the room. Tears fell down her cheeks and dripped to the floor, sizzling upon impact as if they were boiling or made of acid. "Maybe I'd break your MOTHERFUCKING NECK." She was approaching him, but her stance made no indication of her wanting to attack just yet.
TC:	Kanaya was trying to keep herself from shaking. She was stressed - she was worried, she was scared and she was starting to doubt their intentions. She could hear the screaming - it was loud, and Rose sounded furious. She winced. Gamzee needed this - he needed to have the sense scared into him. She held tighter - just trying to comfort him in any way that she could, though she found it increasingly difficult. He was afraid - and she could see that.

"Yes, I motherfucking guess." He sneered at her, but stood his ground - not daring to move a muscle. It wasn't because he was afraid. He was nervous at the most, but afraid? No. She was so angry, and Gamzee almost winced. He really hadn't understood that it was wrong, either. No red flag flew up and said 'You could get in trouble,' nothing told him that it wasn't right and that, honestly, was the only thing that DID scare him. How was he going to take care of Karkat, how was he going to fufill his promise when he couldn't tell what was right, and what was wrong? He knit his brow, sneered a bit. He just thought that was how black -->
romance worked. "You're the one with motherfuckin' impared hearing, sister, I just explained all to you what was going on, but no. You don't motherfucking get it." The threat did nothing to him, really - all he did was smile a bit, let out a scoff, and - against his better judgement, he held his arms out, his palms facing her, hands spread out and beckoning. "Then by all MOTHERFUCKING means, human, FUCKING BREAK IT. See if I give a damn. What point is there even, anymore, huh? Living here when no one motherfucking wants me around. Even my best fucking friend sold me out, how you think I feel? I didn't. Motherfucking. Know. If you wanna all up and get your punish on, then do it." He let his arms fall to his sides, and he took a step forward. He was still working through his mind whether he really gave up or if he was going to make it some sort of trick, though.. His blood-pusher ached enough for him to just want to quit trying. "I don't know your motherfucking 'right' from your 'wrong', you got me? You fuckin' listening? Cause last time I all up and ran my mouth you let my words -->
go all through one ear duct and right out the other. I don't. Know. I didn't. Motherfucking. KNOW." Why did everyone choose someone who was so terrible, someone who was so sarcastic and untrue and deviant over him? "He's looks all like a motherfucking bitch when he cries anyway. He don't hold my interest no more."
TG:	Karkat turned around in her arms, clinging to her, twitching violently whenever he heard Rose screech. He was so fucking tired. He was sick and tired of this. The stress, the anger, the fear. It happened too often and it just made him sick. - "That doesn't MAKE A DIFFERENCE." She appraoched still. "STOP means STOP no matter WHAT IS HAPPENING. I don't FUCKING CARE about your customs, your TRADITIONS OR YOUR QUADRANTS. When someone says STOP you FUCKING STOP." He didn't fucking know? How can you not know that when someone is screaming, when someone is sobbing, when someone is bleeding and begging for you to just stop... More tears fell, hot and thick, down her cheeks. She was within striking distance now, maybe seven or so feet from him. The words he spoke sent her over the edge, Rose giving a harsh scream. "YOU DO NOT SPEAK OF MY BROTHER THAT WAY. I WILL END YOU." ->
She lunged at him, striking in a downward motion with one of her knitting needles. Intended to sear a line as wide as the tip of it, it had a fairly impressive reach of at least two feet in front of it. "You'll look like a bitch when I KILL YOU. Or maybe I should put you through THE SAME TERROR YOU PUT HIM THROUGH."
TC:	Kanaya bristled. The door was sealed. They couldn't get in - they couldn't save him, couldn't save Rose, if something happened to either of them. She quickly removed herself from Karkat - hearing the screams, and faintly hearing the threats Rose was making. She trusted her. She trusted her, she just had to trust her, had to trust her - had to make sure everything was going to be okay -.. The screams, no, that wasn't okay. That wasn't going to be okay. She tried the handle - and when it wouldn't open, she started to get a little more frantic. This wasn't good, no, no, this wasn't good at all. She gave Karkat a look - just barely looking over her shoulder, trying to make sure that he wasn't too afraid, that he wasn't freaking out. "It'll be alright, it'll be alright - just.. Leave, Karkat. You don't want to be here right now." And she didn't think he should, either. Not when things were going down like this, not when Rose was going against their agreement, not when she could hear the screaming that /wasn't/ just trying to talk to him. -->
Gamzee should've moved. He should've done anything but just stand there, his lips parted, his brows knit and his head held high. He knew now. He'd lost control, back with Dave - he'd lost the ability to hold himself back. Yet, he didn't regret it. He wished he did - he wished he took it back, he wished he was sorry, but he wasn't. Gamzee didn't know what was wrong with him. He didn't know why he didn't understand, he didn't know why he couldn't tell the difference between right and wrong and he didn't know why he wasn't fightig back with Rose, either, but he wasn't. He wasn't, and he wouldn't. "Then do it." His voice was a lot more silent than it had been, and when he looked up at her, he didn't look afraid. No, he looked drained. He'd meant every word he'd said, he'd meant it when he said he didn't understand, he'd meant it when he said he didn't care anymore. Because he didn't. He didn't have any reason, now. Apparently, he was getting what he deserved, and if he really couldn't tell that much? If he really couldn't tell what was right, and what wasn't? Then he believed it. -->
He stumbled when he felt her needles slash across his chest - the indigo colored blood leaking out of the wound. It was barely a scratch, but it still stung - yet he did nothing but keep his hands in his pockets, try to regain his footing, and give her another look, this time, somewhat pained. Not because of the physical injury, but because of what he'd thought happened. That Karkat thought he was too corrupted. That he'd let the Dave human's angry sister finish him off, because he couldn't risk Gamzee hurting anyone anymore. Even if it wasn't true - it's what it looked like to him, and.. His pain that coursed through him was unimaginable.
TG: Karkat just stared at her, eyes wide and brows pinched, hands gripping at his chest. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck. "I c-can't," he whispered. He was frozen, he was terrified, he was paralyzed with fear. He literally could not move. He obviously heard the screams, the enraged cries from Rose and it hurt - it hurt so bad. He wanted to throw up. This was out of control and it was all his fault. He did this. He did this. "K-Kan--" he whimpered. /Please, fuck, do something/. - "There is NOTHING STOPPING ME." She slashed at him again, but seemed entirely put off by his lack of concern for his own well-being. No. No no no. This... this wasn't... He had to care. He had to fucking care. He had to hurt like she was hurting. He had to. That gave her an idea. "Or I'll put you through the SAME TERROR you put me through." ->
She spun, hand whipping out in front of her towards the door. The black tendrils shot out, colliding with it and knocking it open, and knocking Kanaya back. They wrapped around Karkat, who gave a sharp cry before he was dragged into the room. The door slammed behind him immediately. Terrified, Karkat found himself unable to make a sound as he struggled against the thick, dark vines that were constricting him. Rose suspended him above her head, the vines around her still lashing violently as a sort-of barrier between her and Gamzee. "Does YOUR SPECIES understand this? An EYE for an EYE?"

TC:	Kanaya bit back a noise of surprise as she was shoved aside, held back, and kept from moving. This wasn't what they had agreed to. This wasn't anything like what they had agreed to. Her eyes were wide, and she was staring at Rose with such a look of terror and shock that she surprised even herself. She didn't want him to get hurt, she didn't want Karkat to get hurt and she thought she'd /specified/ that, but Rose.. Rose was irrational. "Rose. Do not do this, you can not do this, listen to me, just listen to me.." Her voice rose, but she was still tame sounding - as much as she could, even though her voice still shook slightly and her teeth grit with the nerve-wracking feeling of seeing Karkat strung up like that, but she was nowhere near as devastated as Gamzee was. When Gamzee saw Rose pull Karkat up like that, his eyes went wide, his lips parted, his entire body went stiff and he clenched his fists together. "He didn't do nothin'. He didn't do motherfuckin' nothin'," Except for lead her here to you, right? You pity him, though, Gamzee. You can't let this happen. "You take your -->
stupid revenge bullshit out on ME, you understand me?" He was sneering - and watching Karkat struggle like that made his bloodpusher ache. "Let him go, just you motherfucking let him go." He shook a little - but he didn't dare step forward. He didn't want to risk anything. He couldn't. Not with the vines there, not with his entire body trembling and his eyes watering and - crying for a second time today, then? His lip quivered. The look he gave her was stunned, anxious, panicked, even. "What do you want from me, what the motherfuck did you come here for? I'll do anything, fuck, I'll do motherfuckin' anything just don't you dare hurt him, don't you hurt him."
TG:	Karkat could only squirm desperately, giving a small cry as the vines constricted. Tendrils whipped around him in the air, some coming a bit too close and lashing out at him, grazing his skin and stinging something fierce. Each snap was met with a whine, the troll thrashing this way and that to try and desperately free himself. "I AM listening. But you aren't SAYING ANYTHING." Nothing Rose felt was relevant, anyway. "Dave didn't do anything, EITHER. He didn't do MOTHERFUCKING NOTHING either." Dave hadn't done anything. He hadn't done anything to Gamzee, he hadn't done anything to anyone. So he was a little abrasive in the attitude department. Who wasn't? They all had their obnoxious moments and things they did. What made Dave different? What made him such a special fucking snowflake? "He BEGGED you, Gamzee. MUCH LIKE you are begging NOW. DID YOU STOP?" Tears were still streaming down her face, falling to the floor and sizzling. "Did he say he'd DO ANYTHING for you to STOP?" ->
She made a motion in the air with one of her hands and a larger tendril rose suddenly, wrapping around Karkat's neck while another went around his ankle. "F-fuck!" he cried, his own tears finding their way down his face. "R-Rose -!" Karkat still felt like it was entirely his fault. He wanted to accept whatever fate the blonde threw at him but he was terrified. If she took him out, there'd be little stopping her from taking out Gamzee, too. He was so, so desperately conflicted inside and all he could do was struggle and sob. "I came here to kill you." She had lied. The only reason she had agreed to let them stand outside was because she had been so sure this would have gone quicker... "But NOW I feel like there is something WORSE that I can do to you." She lifted her hand in an extravagant motion, fingers spread before she closed them. ->
Karkat let out another cry that was quickly cut off. Fuck, fuck - the vines were constricting over his chest. He couldn't breathe. "When you SAT ON HIM, did you crush the AIR out of his LUNGS, like THIS? Did you CHOKE HIM? Did you ENJOY every fucking GASP HE STRUGGLED TO TAKE?" Her eyes narrowed. "Maybe you will UNDERSTAND, know the DIFFERENCE between what is RIGHT and what is WRONG when it is happening to SOMEONE /YOU/ CARE ABOUT."
TC: "Rose! Stop this instant, please!" Kanaya's calls were useless, her voice, even as it got louder and louder was going unheard and that upset her. Rose lied to her - she trusted her, and she lied. Rose had lied to her - and it stung her deeply. It vaguely reminded her of someone else who'd deceived her. She could feel her eyes prickling with tears, and she had to hold herself back from crying, because she couldn't let anyone see her like that. She couldn't let anyone see her cry, especially when it meant that she didn't know how to handle the situation. Neither did Gamzee. Seeing Karkat cry like that - seeing him sob, it broke him. It broke him down, and before he really knew what was happening, tears were streaming down his cheeks for the second time that day, and he was looking at Rose with such anger, such horror, such /sadness/ that he couldn't bear imagining what his face looked like. He was weak - it was weak of him and he knew it, but he couldn't help how much it hurt. "He did MOTHERFUCKING NOTHING? You don't think that little piece of shit didn't do nothin' to me?!" -->
He should've shut his mouth, he shouldn't have said anything, but at this point - he couldn't stop himself. "He prompted it, fuck, he prompted this motherfucking shit to go all about haywire and he showed me the motherfucking thing that ruined my motherfucking LIFE, okay? That's why, that's why I all up and motherfucking attacked him. He showed me that my life was a motherfucking lie, that all the fuckin' miracles and magic I all believed in was nothin' but a bunch of bullshit and it crushed me, it motherfucking crushed me and it was all. HIS. Fault." His voice cracked, and he was holding his hand to his chest. Karkat was having trouble breathing, and he could see it. "It was a MOTHERFUCKING LIE, then he made it all out to be motherfuckin' nothin'. It was all tellin' me that I been livin' for a fucking lie, that I been doin' nothin' right and then he just sat there with his smug motherfucking attitude and then when he fucking found me, when he found me.." When he'd found him, Gamzee had lost control. He'd suppressed and suppressed and suppressed when he'd found that Dave was on -->
the meteor, he'd tried to keep himself in line, but he couldn't. Not when it was just them, alone, in a dark room full of bodies. "But Karkat? He didn't do NOTHIN', he really didn't do motherfuckin' NOTHIN' to you!" He had to bite back his worst insults - because he didn't want to risk Karkat getting hurt. He wanted to call her so many names, so many things, but he couldn't. He bit his tongue so hard it bled. Kanaya was overwhelmed, too. She could smell blood everywhere, and it got to her - but what Rose was doing, was both fortunately and unfortunately a large distraction. "Rose, he helped your brother. Karkat was the one to find him, Karkat was the one to comfort him, you should not be doing this, you promised me.."
TG:	"Why would you believe a STUPID VIDEO? If you didn't have THE STRENGTH to ignore it then MAYBE you didn't DESERVE the miracles in THE FIRST PLACE." That was sort-of a double-edged sword. While she meant it in every sense to hurt him, it may have also inadvertently boosted his confidence. Kinda. Honestly though, if something DAVE showed him fucked up his life that bad maybe he wasn't in such a good place to begin with. Regardless, Dave did NOT deserve that. Gamzee could recover from that. Dave... Dave wouldn't. Karkat felt a sudden, sharp pain in his side - a /crack/ heard as the vines tightened. Oh, f-fuck. Did he just break a rib? He had to force himself with everything he had not to cry out - the sobbing made air escape from his lungs faster, and every time he exhaled or wiggled in just the wrong way the vines would constrict more. He was light headed, he couldn't feel his hands. "KARKAT was in the WRONG PLACE at the WRONG TIME. Just like DAVE." She glanced up at the troll. "No hard feelings, Karkat." ->
She glared back at Gamzee again, the wind picking up more. "WHAT ELSE did you do to MY BROTHER?" she demanded, though the question was entirely rhetorical. She'd seen his injuries, the way he looked and walked and cried - she knew most of it without even asking. "Aside make him BLEED and CRY?" The vines moved slightly, mostly holding around his neck and waist - pulling his shirt up and lashing at his sides, creating long gashes and drawing blood. The pain was blinding, and red droplets were raining down on Rose, splattering in her white hair, on her yellow god-tier garb. "You STOLE his INNOCENCE. Should I DO THE SAME to KARKAT?" At this point, Rose was entirely beyond listening to reason. The Grimdarkness had completely overtaken her, her skin black and her hair as white as the freshly-driven snow. Except... splattered with that candy-red blood. ->
"Or should I just PLAY WITH HIM some more?" Another cry from Karkat was silenced as a vine wrapped around his mouth, the troll's teeth biting into it as he tried to cry out around it. Hands were bound behind his back, ankles and hips wrapped up tightly too. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. He was barely concious of his surroundings at this point. There was a lot of noise and a lot of pain. Someone was begging for something but he didn't know what. Man, he sure was tired...