Jackie Evancho

In this author's opinion, Jackie Evancho has zero talent, zero ability and zero stage presence. She is a prime example of what stage parents can produce when they have a mind to.
How she hasn't failed miserably as a child singer is beyond this author's comprehension. She has a face like a crackhead version of a 1950s ghost train prop, and a singing voice that sounds like a shortbus full of speds all playing their willy banjos. Onstage she is little more than a statue with lipstick and a dress, and even that does little to enhance her presence.
Every single song that Jackie has released has been either lackluster, poor or just plain fucking awful. She absolutely trashed an old standard "When I Fall in Love" (that has been covered by more artists than this author's had hot dinners) - with her vocals and a second-rate house music band that had probably been sniffing glue before they took up their instruments. The entire song sounds less like an emotional ballad and more like the annual Appalachian Mountains Moonshine Tasting & Penis Fencing Contest. (the latter being great value for money, in the author's opinion)
She also has a transgender sister who should have been kicked to the curb, or over a cliff, considering said troon looks extremely hideous (as most of them do)
This author feels sorry for all those who have had to deal with Jackie Evancho on either a personal or professional level, and wishes that they could get free booze as compensation, because after dealing with her it will, most certainly, be required.
Shame on you, if you are Evancho's parents, for bringing your miserable crotchfruit into the world of showbusiness.
Nathan "Ned Kelly" Sawford
Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
Leader of the Kelly Gang, Owner of the "Tassie TV" YouTube channel
facebook.com/nathan.sawford.7