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- JON MAHON CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
- --------------------------------------------------
- HE'S MAKING A LIST
- AND CHECKING IT 9001 times
- GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY (in bed) AND NICE
- JON MAHON IS COMING TO TOWN
- He sees you when you're SHOWERING!!!! OH MY GOD
- He knows when you're awake
- HE KNOWS IF YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY NAUGHTY NAUGHTY (in bed) OR GOOD
- SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!
- JON MAHON was impersonating santa AND DOING A BAD JOB OF IT. (he did grow a pretty epic beard for it though)
- he took his 9001 detentions he had gotten over the years and CROSSED OFF HIS NAME
- and wrote OTHER PEOPLES' NAMES ON THEM. (illegal) and for the detention location
- he wrote in the address of some party place nobody knew about (not even him)
- he was passing them out during lunch the next day with his friend SID SPACE
- in a santa outfit and said "crap......... LETS BE SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!" (nobody heard)
- so nobody knew it was him
- even though
- on the detention
- you could still read the crossed out JON MAHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- and the detention reasons were things jon was well known for! (farting in class)
- also the date on the detentions was December 25th (nobody noticed this either maybe they're dumb I DON'T KNOW)
- everyone was all BUMMED OUT that they couldn't attend their christmas parties (NOT NOTICING that everyone in the parties had detentions too,
- so there wouldn't really be any party because there'd be nobody there because AUGH I don't know..............)
- so on december 25th everyone brought their party stuff to the detention!!!!
- AND DROVE TO THE MYSTERIOUS PLACE LISTED ON THE DETENTIONS
- wait a second if there's TONS OF KIDS in one place AND THEY HAVE PARTY STUFF
- THEN IT'S NOT A DETENTION AT ALL!!!!!!
- THAT WAS!??????!??????????? A PARTY INVITATION!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- darn you jon AUGH
- ........ !??????????
- then, when EVERYONE was inside
- A GIANT CALIFORNIA REDWOOD TREE CRACKED A VIOLNET SNOWSORM AND FELL AS IF HINGED
- BLOCKING THE ENTRANCE AND SNOWING EVERYONE IN AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!????????!?!??!?
- but hey it made a nice 30,60,90 right triangle
- CRAP!!!!!!!!! so the people INSIDE THE PARTY PLACE
- were STUCK INSIDE for the time being!!!!!!!!!!!! D:
- so HERE I WILL ESTABLISH A PARTIAL LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WENT TO THE PARTY
- celebrities: Barack Obama (with his awesome t-shirt), Osama bin Laden, Vegeta, Hitler, Anne Frank, (oops) Anne Frankenstein
- classmates: Josh, Jared, Sid Space, Karson, DANNY, Tyler, Alex (both Nuclear and Irritable Alexes), d-love/2kdre
- and the obligatory list of similarly named people: Billy Mays, Bill Gates, Bill Nye, Bill Cosby, Bill Gosper
- (the first three bills make up the BILLY ALLIANCE)
- SO THE PEOPLE NOW HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO DO IN THE AWESOME PARTY HOUSE UNTIL SOMEONE HELPS............
- (or just enjoy the party)
- d-love got a DISCO BALL AND SET IT UP
- ACTUALLY 99999 disco balls
- BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD LASERS AND WERE EVIL
- and was DJing and rapping and stuff
- d-love: "YO YO YO jon mahon YO"
- d-love: "gotta eat the toast"
- d-love: "'cause its christmas time OKAY?????????????????"
- SO JON MAHON GOT OUT a giant candycane
- and used it AS A SWORD
- TO FIGHT OFF THE DISCO BALLS
- but wasn't getting very much progress
- Jared: "ME NO LIKE DISCO BALLS"
- and Jared left! (somehow)
- BUT THE DISCO BALLS WERE STILL ATTACKING
- until suddenly VEGETA WAS LIKE "KAMEHAMEHA!!"
- and blew up the disco balls with a huge energy blast
- that somehow did not damage the building or any guests
- So THE BILLY ALLIANCE GROUPED TOGETHER
- AND DECIDED TO BLOW A HOLE IN THE WALL TO GET OUT.
- SO WERE BRAINSTORMING together until JON MAHON SUDDENLY FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- WHOSE FART BLEW everyone into "THE NIGHT BEFORE JON MAHON"
- 'Twas NOT the night before JON MAHON, when all through the SCHOOL
- Not a creature was FARTING, not even uh Jared! LOLOOLOLLOLOLOLO;
- The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
- In hopes that JON MAHON SOON WOULD BE THERE;
- ...but then suddenly a bee flew in and it stung someone who died and then they SUED IT FOR MURDER
- LANDING THEM BACK IN UHHHHH THE JON MAHON PARTY HOUSE
- BECAUSE THE JUDGE FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- so they were back at the party house
- and suddenly Wendy from the restaurant named Wendy's came over
- and uh well
- SHE worked with IRRITABLE ALEX
- to create FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN
- WHO WAS ALMOST THE SAME AS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
- EXCEPT HE ACTUALLY WAS A FROSTY AND also simultaneously product placement
- also he was evil and he throw snowballs at people
- BARACK OBAMA WAS WATCHING POKEMON IN THE CORNER
- and turned into BROCK OBAMA (like in obamastory)
- and d-love started DJing some rock music
- which caused obama to then change into BROCKSTAR OBAMA
- AND SUDDENLY PLAYED SOME REALLY RAD TUNES
- and he chased after FROSTY THE FROSTYMAN
- but Jon Mahon handed a super cool electric guitar to Brockstar Obama
- who accidentally made frosty the frostyman explode WITH DA POWER OF MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!1
- JARED WAS SOMEHOW BACK
- and then there was rebecca whose last name was BLACK
- oops I mean there was REBECCA BLACK WHO WAS SINGING "FRIDAY" ENDLESSLY
- and JACK BLACK
- Hitler: "what does the scouter say about her annoyingness level"
- Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!"
- and jack black who was obsessed with octagons
- drew an octagon
- Jack: "WE FOUND AN OCTAGON!!!!!!!!!"
- BUT IT WAS A MAGIC ORANGE OCTAGON
- AND WAS ACTUALLY A PORTAL
- so everyone went in thinking it was a way out of the party place
- but it actually just led to ANOTHER MAGIC OCTAGON that was BLUE
- !!!!!
- except it was always friday
- Jared: "ME NO LIKE FRIDAY"
- so they went back in
- and it was always NOT friday
- so rebecca black shut up finally
- so JACK BLACK TRIED TO SING FRIDAY (in a really heavy russian accent)
- BUT THERE WAS A CHARACTER NAMED SLIPPERY SOAP FROM BLUES CLUES
- WHO WAS MAKING A SLIPPERY MESS
- but he slipped and fell on an octagon before he could finish
- poor jack
- Jon Mahon did not actually have a real christmas tree
- so he took a fake robot one
- and put it up
- Sid Space: "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO HAVE A FAKE CHRISTMAS!???????"
- Jon Mahon: "sure"
- Sid Space: "WHAT!"
- Jon Mahon: "WHATS THE MATTER DO YOU NOT LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTMAS!????"
- Hitler: "NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!!!!!!!"
- but the fake robot tree came with a fake robot santa
- who was evil
- but Karson kicked its butt
- because he's goot at kicking robots' butts
- so the BILLY ALLIANCE got together with nuclear alex (who knew about radioactive stuff)
- and josh had some uranium in his pocket.
- and the billy alliance decided they would make a machine that harnessed the power of jon mahon's illegal nuclear farts
- to blast a hole in the party house and get out
- so the BILLY ALLIANCE with the help of NUCLEAR ALEX
- constructed a machine and inserted josh's uranium
- and jon mahon was given pizza
- and then jon farted
- and a GIGANTIC HOLE WAS BLASTED IN THE CEILING
- it was pretty impossible to get out through it though
- CONSIDERING IT WAS ON THE FREAKING CEILING
- for some reason IRONICALLY after the hole was blasted the VIOLNET SORM disappeared and all the snow was gone
- (also the tree REVERSE-FELL as if hinged - if that's even POSSIBLE)
- completely negating any need for the hole in the first place.
- and to make it worse the fart made it super smelly all the way from here to 125 MILES away.
- The billy alliance was FINED FOR DAMAGE TO THE PARTY HOUSE because the person DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE VIOLNET SORM
- and thought the explosion was random and unnecessary
- AND THAT WAS ILLEGAL.
- so they got out anyway
- and nobody cared
- LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
- THIS HAS BEEN A JON MAHON CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!
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