Less experienced with new emotional powers

"Brace yourselves, aura!" I raised my voice.

I pushed out with my aura. It was a shot in the dark, in more ways than the obvious one, that I couldn't see the murder pixie I was trying to slow down, but because I was reaching for feelings I'd never used before. Fear and awe was a dichotomy I'd come to understand early on. I'd hit my parents with it in sparring, and I'd seen the varied reactions in reality.

I could choose what emotions I put out there, now, but it wasn't as simple as choosing from a tidy little list. Just the opposite. I dug into memories and the rawest, deepest feelings I had. A moment of clarity midway through therapy at the hospital. Moments, my thoughts wandering at night, where I'd jolted awake with a realization. The feeling after I'd smeared my mother against a wall, and realized it was my fault. Each of those memories was like an exposed nerve, and the screaming in my head was salt on those nerves.

I'd wanted 'wake up' but the feelings I dug into as I broadcasted weren't quite that.

It did give her pause, but she was a tiny figure in the dark, in an unfamiliar environment, so it was hard for us to take advantage of her being delayed.

- Last 20.4