Change

	Reading I sat. I saw the burnt anglican anger in this stories limits. it was the heresy that cultivates a warm sickness in you. devolving into hate, losing every part of him, this story, I grimaced at the racial hate embedded in this man's makeshift pawn to paper. I read. Born unto spirits I was conclusively drawing my own set of collective teeth grinders. Nibbling on my lip i just coud only hear the whine of th cat outside. This spurious venturer walks in as I walk to the door and notice he's not even locked out. Succinct the walk of a tabby. Mrs. Sunshine. I was happy.

	I had everything I could want, with an affordance of common jewels. No wife, but that's another mystery. Considering I'd been so fortunate. The bank was full, and so was the gas tank. No more offering to the plate tho. I went wrong that way. I knew I wasn't supposed to. I gave in, and I gave and I gave to receive. Now what? No more room. But I like that my cup runneth over. We're stupid happy, me and Mrs. Sunshine. As if this were the only Chateau. Now bringing forth a 'tude, this 'tabby' needed her cream. The only cat in the world with expensive tastes in liquid form. Well, in my heart. Feeling as though I ruled on that note.

	Today was exciting. Rolled over another million dollars from the job. Too many of those things going unnoticed, but we'll just have to reckon with those 'things' happening when they do. A milion dollars does not come to you. You strangle the God you have just to set in on the conversation first thing. You can't eliminate the feeling. You have to be raspy. And your vocal chords have to break once in awhile. Now I don't feel it. But there in the midst was my darling daughter's picture. I raised her wealthy. I made her go to college at the greatest University in the state. UTEL. University of Technology, Engineering, and Literature. Boingo. What a great mishap that i should have walked her over the degree stage. Being there under a couple tables. I can't have that little spoiled bitch failing. I'd look bad. So, I decided to pay her teachers. Now she's a little smarter than a high schooler with a bad reputation for truancy and dismissing facts. Jesus never played that part for her and I. He only tongued some words in the boo as far as I can see. Shouldn't that be a perfected existence then?

	Ask not and you will receive. But probably the only thing I couldn't believe. I'm not even sure that book is not some gardener like Candide, why the brushes? Why the pruning? Oh and the mentor knows everything in advance. As if he were sweltering for the answers. Little bit like a beaten humbleness. As if that would careen me into another fight. I can't just figure it out myself. I gotta have the literature. And wishbone, the daughter of so much romance between me and her mother, really doesn't argue a good piece.

	As far as I know, this debit card I have is all I have on me today. So I tell them, take it and scan it. The genius behind it all. A low representation. That book curdling me to a point of narcissus that I even notice. And hell, why not a drink while I'm blistering. so I gladly yank down the fine stuff. Arranging my thoughts about the book, I review it more. Hateful ignorant, stupid, half assed, blind and such greedy bastardizations of people involved in the plot. Ugly. Yet, that's what they want these days. no one cares anymore about decency. Don't take it hard I think. It's a polity. Not a great oration. It's just suggestive of some really high branch and fundamentally flawed reasoning. I'll have it on shelves in weeks. Nothing I can do. Got that dollar tho. Even getting some commissions from sales. Outdid myself this time. Wasn't what I had in mind. But God provides.

	So I hit the head. privately.

	Coming out, I needed a break from the roll of this vodka. It's good, oh yes. I can't wait to see the discreet way in which I get this change back. New coins from a guy new in town. Heard he had a huge collection. Dark son of a bitch too. Wore a weird outfit. But I don't want to get the retaliation of a guy with a fist pack of 50 cent rolls though. So i laughed and indexed and went outside where the labor force was. Now, so kindly i see this two man crew putting bushes into the limb shredder. I laugh going by. One is dressed like the guy with the coins. I almost asked if that was him, why was he here? However then this other guy comes out and looks about the same. just a different size, like the first now that I account for the lack of words. I look back and so do they.. at me.

	I don't like this. I'm getting a bit of a screwy notion here that this is not normal. It's 80 degrees out and they have cloaks and hoods. "HEY! Why do you guy have those on?" I yelled to them. Saving my throat for work. Reappearing to the end the lot, this shredder is being fed but god must be the same guy! And I look around and there's the big one!

	I ask, "What the hell?". I pull up to them and the shredded piles of greenery and suddenly it turns to shredded bills, like currency, paper notes. I see $2 bills, $1 bills even $50s and $100s. And I just look weirdly at the guys, and in a second I'm fighting the two bastards. They won't leave me the hell alone. What the hell!!! I'm screaming for someone to help from over far and they just are not coming. These two are wearing me out, together as one. So I say screw this and I'm swinging for my life. My arms aren't hitting a damn thing though. I can't see them! They're invisible, I'm being lifted and I don't like where I'm heading. The shredder is open and I'm getting closer. I'm thrashing about and it's just not helping. There's no one carrying me!! Oh flop. Oh God. Oh Jesus Mary, where in the hell did I go wrong? I was told about that thing, reduce your use of God! You'll be like a king! Don't get in over your head! GOD!! I'M GETTING TOO CLOSE!

	I'm suddenly heaved through the air. I land on the mouth of the shredder, and its spinning lie crazy, just by my toes. Now there's no pressure and.. oh God now those things must be pushing me in! Oh God Oh God, I know I don't look your way! But please! God! AGHH My shoes, my toe! my toes!! AGHH Please split these teeth Lord, devise a way! Get me out of here! Suddenly my ankles are being swallowed in too. I'm done. I'm sure My knees are getting splattered with my blood. and the output pipe is shooting out gold pieces! WHAT THE ****?! I'm turning into change! How?? and why?? Geh. God, please, let me learn this lesson. I'm dying I know it. My life for something in my life. Suddenly the machine shuts off. But it's not for me. The pain is intolerable, and I choking on blood. I'm trying to pull myself out. My hands are fine, but they won't cooperate. I'm really seeing nothing coming to help. Nothing! Now. Here. What the hell. I'm half way between heaven and hell. And I see that pile of Gold on the other side of the tree shredder. What? Why?

	I start to assemble an image of this. I gave my life up for money, I sold out my daughter, a piece of me. And wouldn't do anything for God anymore. No. Learn, listen. This is my story. I may not have been threw a shredder. But this is it. It's over. I see that my body is so crippled, and I've got no help coming. So I just throw it on again. The decision hurts my head. And I'm not going to love or like this, but I get in deeper. Each dollar I made making me think of something I didn't do for another person. Shit. That's all. Whirrrrr.