Hogfather - Locks

Death went over to the door. Snow was blowing underneath it. He peered nervously at the woodwork. There was a thump outside and Albert's voice sounded a lot closer.

'What's up, master?'

Death stuck his head through the wood of the door.

THERE'S THESE METAL THINGS

'Bolts, master. You slide them,' said Albert, sticking his hands under his armpits to keep them warm.

AH. Death's head disappeared.

Albert stamped his feet and watched his breath cloud in the air while he listened to the pathetic scrabbling on the other side of the door. Death's head appeared again.

ER ...

'It's the latch, master,' said Albert wearily.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

'You put your thumb on it and push it down.'

RIGHT.

The head disappeared. Albert jumped up and down a bit, and waited. The head appeared.

ER ... I WAS WITH YOU UP TO THE THUMB...

Albert sighed. 'And then you press down and pull, master.'

AH. RIGHT. GOT YOU.

The head disappeared. Oh dear, thought Albert. He just can't get the hang of them, can he ... ?

The door jerked open. Death stood behind it, beaming proudly, as Albert staggered in, snow blowing in with him.

***

Hogfather - p226-227