Rincewind - librarian

Albert grabbed the wizard, who was trying desperately to walk into the wall. The man squealed.

“All right, all right, I admit it! I was drunk at the time, believe me, didn’t mean it, gosh, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry—”

“What are you bleating about, man?” said Albert, genuinely puzzled.

“—so sorry, if I tried to tell you how sorry I am we’d—”

“Stop this bloody nonsense!” Albert glanced down at the little ape, who gave him a warm friendly smile. “What’s your name, man?”

“Yes, sir, I’ll stop, sir, right away, no more nonsense, sir…Rincewind, sir. Assistant librarian, if it’s all right by you.”

Albert looked him up and down. The man had a desperate scuffed look, like something left out for the laundry. He decided that if this was what wizarding had come to, someone ought to do something about it.

“What sort of librarian would have you for assistant?” he demanded irritably.

“Oook.”

Something like a warm soft leather glove tried to hold his hand.

“A monkey! In my university!”

“Orangoutang, sir. He used to be a wizard but got caught in some magic, sir, now he won’t let us turn him back, and he’s the only one who knows where all the books are,” said Rincewind urgently. “I look after his bananas,” he added, feeling some additional explanation was called for.