"And finally... an olive. Hehe." Drink complete, Lalonde sat at her computer, and took a delicate sip of her concoction. Stared at her screen. ...and frowned. Opening a pester window, she began talking to Jane.


-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] --

[TG]: ehy jaaane
[TG]: *ehy
[TG]: fcuk *HEY
[GG]: Hoo hoo, hello Lalonde! :B At it already, I see?
[TG]: yeah booooi. u know i totes gotta get my drikn on p early to get anythign done. hows my wodnerful baking lady tonight
[GG]: Still trying to find that dang bunny! L'il Seb is proving to be quite a bother!
[TG]: well youll fidn him. ur good at that
[GG]: Hoo hoo! I sure hope so. I'd like to find him before my dad does, at least! :B
[TG]: how is that big sexy man doign anyway
[GG]: Oh, Lalonde!! You hush. He's still being the ever-diligent prison guard. He's got this house locked up tighter than a tub of new frosting!
[TG]: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm funfetit i hope
[GG]: More like un-funfetti! Hoo hoo!


Sip, sip.


[TG]: yeha well i dotn kno
[TG]: jake is botherign @ me one sex
[TG]: *sec lol



-- golgothasTerror [GT] began bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --

[GT]: Lalonde! Just the young lady ive been meaning to talk to. How are you?
[TG]: good like sherwodo jake
[TG]: hbu
[GT]: On the contrary, sherwood was anything but good! Not until that dashing fellow robinhood came along. But anyway, im okay! I was actually wondering if you had the time to banter with a fellow such as myself?
[TG]: such a gentelman jake ya i got soem time whatsup
[GT]: Well i actually wanted to talk to you about jane... *Tugs at collar a bit.*
[TG]: oh im talking to her right nwo i can get her
[GG]: Oh nono, thats not necessary! I was actually hoping we could discuss a bit of a.... delicate subject.
[TG]: o nononoononnnonnono jake
[TG]: ^++++++^ remmeber
[TG]: oops *rmbmr
[GT]: Damn and and blast your eyes, lalonde! This is serious. Please?
[TG]: unzups jake that is mroe important than the girl-code you are asking me to break
[GT]: Well i... ive been giving thought to our last zippy-lips conversation... *Wrings kerchief.*
[TG]: yoink
[GT]: Augh lalonde, please!
[TG]: jaek im sorry this makes me as nervous as u i dont want jane mad at me
[TG]: buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut if u promise to keep thsi super secret i will talk to u about it
[TG]: i mean it
[TG]: super secret liek the fountani of youth adn antalntis
[TG]: pls dont tell jane
[TG]: dnw ruin girl cred
[GT]: I wouldnt do that! There is nothing i want more than for your girl-cred to remain 100% un-ruined.
[TG]: ty for taht jake
[TG]: one sec gonna talk to jaen again for completly unrelated raesons



She tabbed over.



[TG]: hay gurl hayyyyy
[GG]: Hey again! :B
[GG]: How's Jake??
[TG]: goooooooood
[TG]: hey jane
[GG]: Yes?
[TG]: jaaaaaaaaaaaane
[GG]: Yeeeees? :B
[TG]: ur special to me ok
[TG]: liek being your bestie is toteys a big responsibility and all buti want u to know that it is a weight i gratfully shoudlr
[GG]: Oh! Well the feeling is mutual, dearie! Hoo hoo! :B
[GG]: I'm going to take 5 though to go find Seb!
[GG]: Don't get too booze-crazy, hoo hoo! :B <3
[TG]: bye jaen
[TG]: *jane

-- gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --


Instead of tabbing back to Jake, Lalonde instead sipped some more at her martini - or rather, she would have done so (in a delicate, lady-like fashion of course) if she hadn't finished it with her last 'sip'. They seemed to go down all too quickly, these days.


[TG]: one sc jake
[TG]: *sec
[GT}: Right-o, madam!


Lalonde got up. Went to her dresser. It was smattered with various boozes and mixers. Was it really so bad that this was so comforting...? She pushed the thought out of her slightly buzzing head, and mixed herself another martini. Olive. Perfect.


[TG]: ok jake im bck
[GT]: Welcome back! Hopefully were not getting ourselves too deep in the wading pool of inebriation! Id like to talk to you about this as seriously as possible.
[TG]: yada yaad jake lets just get this over with
[GT]: Right! Well.... like i said ive been giving thought to the... Erm... *Tugs at collar.* possibility... of... the two of us...
[TG]: omg u are such a baby jake jus say it u want to jump her bonse
[TG]: *bones
[GT]: Gah! No! I could never speak of a lady in such a way. Its very ungentlemanly. *Dabs at brow a bit with kercheif.*
[TG]: jaek i took ur dumb kerchier once dont make me do it again
[TG]: ill instate the no rp rule again
[GT]: Ill do my best to stop. But okay.
[GT]: Ive really given thought to the whole jane and i relationship prospect. And i think that id maybe like to pursue it.
[TG]: ok im not sure waht there is to discuss about that but ok
[GT]: Im... moreso trying to ask if youd be okay with that. But im making it a lot more awkward than it has to be and i feel incredibly silly.
[TG]: why would u need my permissino or anything like that jake its ur life n shit like that
[GT]: Well its like you said. Youre her bffsie 4evers. And while you and i are not quite that close, you are very dear to me. Doing something to jeopardize that wouldnt be very gentlemanly of me! And it would upset me very much. So i want to make sure that its something you will give me thumbs up on!

Lalonde leaned back from her computer, biting at her bottom lip just a little bit. It still tasted like the martini. Realizing she hadn't taken a drink in a while, she remedied this - and for all intents and purposes, leaned back towards her computer to ready some snarky reply or perhaps a pass at the young English.

But she did neither. Jane was her best friend. This was something that was the most important above all else. She was sort-of friends with everyone else because of Jane. If Lalonde lost the cornerstone, she'd be struggling with a broken foundation. And that never lasted. She had to lay off Jake. For the sake of everyone. Of everything.

[TG]: if ur tryign to get me to stop you, im not gonna. ur a perfectly capable, strapping young lad and u can make ur own decisions
[TG]: taht being said, however, im ridiculously appreciatiev that youd even ask me beforehand.
[TG]: i swear to god tho u treat her wrogn boy and i will fly my ass to ur stupid island and beat teh shit out of u
[GT]: I think id beat the shit out of myself before i let myself do that!
[GT]: Thank you, miss lalonde. I really do take your permission seriously.
[TG]: rmember jake i am miss zipprlips. you make her think its all your idea, and nothign that i told u.
[TG]: gurl cred, yo
[GT]: I understand! Well then, im off to try and work up the courage to say something that doesnt sound ridiculous!
[TG]: yeha gl jake

-- golgothasTerror [GT] ceased bothering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --


She yawned, taking up her glass again and - ohp - spilling a little on herself. It... wasn't even that funny, but she found herself laughing at it. This is how she knew she was starting to head off into the realm of her online namesake. "Jjjjjuuuusstttt tipsy, ehe," she found herself fond of reminding. Lalonde never liked to admit herself 'drunk', as that seemed very undignified. Deep down though, she knew that if people knew she were actually drunk at the young age of 15, they might start worrying about her. More than they did now, anyway.

The martini was starting to bore her, so she slammed the rest of it ((and happily ate the olive, yum)) and found her way back to her dresser. Something colourful would really pick up her mood. There was half a bottle of X-rated ((why her mother bought this was beyond her; all she knew was that it was delicious)) and some pomegranate juice leftover from dinner the other night. Finding a new glass she mixed herself a sweet drink, and wandered to find her phone. The chat client hadn't been working on it since she'd dropped it on her face last. She didn't think that that REALLY had anything to do with it, but she was secretly a bit of a conspiracy theory nut - any excuse she found to believe in something a little radical, she took it. The client probably just needed an update. Yep... just an update.

Phone was located under a pile of pink blankets, covered in cat hair, and had a dead battery. With a groan and an eyeroll she plugged it in to charge, wrangled her drink, and moseyed back to the computer. Strider was online. Maybe she'd take a moment to bug that hot piece....

She wrinkled her nose suddenly before opening a window with him. A memory of a prior conversation with him came to mind. /[TT]: Watch as I magically pull a fuck to give out of my ass. Wait. Can't. I'm not a fucking magician, Lalonde. [TT]: That'd be pretty damn slick, though. [TT]: In an ironic sort of way./ She shook her head, the heels of her hands pressing into her temples to try and quell the sudden flush of negativity. Strider never cared. He didn't seem to care about anything aside Jane and probably Jake. No one cared for Lalonde.

The thought brought a deeply-etched frown onto her face, the teen taking a heavy, rushed drink from her glass and swallowing. Erf - it went down the wrong way, sending her into a coughing fit. Apparently, her mother heard her.

"No mom," she groaned loudly through the coughing. "I'm FINE." She lowered her voice. "Dumb broad." It was with a sense of sudden determination that she opened a chat window with Strider. Hmph. She'd show that jerk to be... a jerk to her.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began bothering timaeusTestified [TT] --

[TT]: Yes, Lalonde?
[TG]: this better be u strider adn not ur dumb autoresponder
[TT]: And if it was?
[TG]: wlel id be very upset
[TT]: And what a tragedy that'd be. Do you have any actual business or should I start pretending to listen now?
[TG]: dammit strider i jus want to takl to you
[TG]: jaen is busy w/something and jake is.... also busy with somethign
[TT]: So your boredom has brought you to me. Wow, for being a friend I sure feel like a last resort.
[TG]: ya well maybe if u werent so unapproacheable id actually talk to u more
[TT]: My interest is waning, Lalonde.
[TG]: ok ok. idk ive just been sittign here all day drinkign
[TG]: alone w/my thoughts
[TT]: Alright, I'll bite. What thoughts?
[TG]: idk im kinda lonely lol
TT: You don’t have your mother to have indirect passive-agressive contests with?
TT: That’s a first.
TG: well sehs my mom
TG: btu not that kinda lonely i guess
TT: So I’m assuming this means that you’ve been rejected by Jake.
TG: i wastn rejected exaxlty
TT: Hm?
TG: i kidna backed off cuz jane is my bestie forevs and i dotn want to
TG: take that from her
TG: jake i mean
TT: I understand.
TT: I am in the same predicament.
TG: oh strider u know im not itno jane
TG: heh heh heh
TG: jk jk
TT: I’d assumed not.
TG: so yeha idk
TG: im just sitting here w/all my boozes
TG: adn my thoughts >:?
TT: I’m sorry.
TT: We’re both stuck in this rut, then.
TG: do u want to talk abotu it or anything
TG: im here for u evne though u
TG: dotn particularyl enjoy talking to me all teh time
TT: Of course I enjoy talking to you, Lalonde.
TT: As I stated before, you’re like a sister to me.
TG: wlel u know
TG: im alwasy
TG: like this
TG: lol
TT: No.
TT: I can sense you are rather unhappy.

Was she? ...did Strider have one of his stupid robots nearby? She glanced around nervously.

TG: yeah i guess….
TG: soryr
TT: There’s no need to apologize, Lalonde.
TT: You did nothing wrong.
TG: i just feel bad subjectign u to this when i know ur in teh same boat
TT: I don’t mind, actually.
TT: I’m the only person you can talk to about this, after all.
TG: tahts true
TT: As you are to me.
TG: ur right
TG: its liek fate
TG: or some shit
TT: Fate?
TT: You know I don’t believe in that, Lalonde.
TG: i knwo…
TG: i tihnk if i were jaek i would need a kerchief to grab @ lol
TG: i shoudl totes just take his
TT: You should. It would be more than amusing to see his reaction.
TG: i got it
TG: dabs kerchief at brwo
TG: *brow
TT: Oh, you’re sweating?

Lalonde WAS sweating. Be it from the amount of alcohol in her system, or from the rush of anxiety she felt from this conversation... she was uncomfortable. This whole conversation was turning into something that she definitely did not see coming. And something she definitely didn't want to think about. Suddenly, her drink wasn't strong enough. Even with her head buzzing like it was, she wanted more. Not bothering to excuse herself she got up to trot to her dresser, tripping on a pair of pink slippers in the process - hitting her head a bit on the corner of her bed. Rather than produce a pained sound it brought around a giggle; a sure sign the little lady was already well in the waters of inebriation.

She made it to her dresser. Took a shot of gin. Made it back to her computer.

But she didn't type right away. She instead closed her eyes and leaned her head back, letting the alcohol make the room spin behind her eyelids. It was such a neat feeling; having the sensation you were going to topple over while being planted firmly in your seat. The shot of gin took a grip on her a few minutes later, and she swung back into action - nearly smacking her face into her computer screen. Without thinking, she began to type.

TG: i thikn deep down i always knwe jake was off-limist
TG: but i
TG: hit on him anywya
TT: I can understand.
TG: no, i dont think u can
TG: i did it becasue i coudl get awaty with it
TG: beign drunk and all

Did that make sense?

TG: btu maybe tahts why i started doign it more and more
TG: driking
TG: to cover it up
TG: teh drunker i was the less credible id be
TG: drunk ol lalodne
TG: ur silly lalonde
TG: oh huhs lalonde
TG: tehres no way she can liek jake look at lalonde shes
TG: d r u nk
TG: btu yeah i stopped
TG: jaen wants jake. adn he wants her. tehy r perfect i guess
TT: …Is it wrong to hate him?
TG: who? jake? for jaen liking him?
TG: do u realy hate him stirder?
TT: I’ve never felt scorn towards him until now.
TT: I don’t know, Lalonde.
TT: I just know that… I despise him somewhat.
TT: If somewhat is a worthy word.
TG: ur envious of the likelythood taht jane will pick him
TG: dotn use negative words
TG: hes one of ur closest friedns
TT: …Yes, yes, you’re right.
TT: There’s no need for negativity.
TG: jsut like i dont habro any nevgativity towarsd jane
TG: i just harbor it towarsd myself lol
TG: oh fkuc im shaking so bad i spileld my booze

It hit her all, then; the loneliness, the drinking. The piss-poor moods, the potty-mouth. She sat there, sticky and depressed, staring at her computer screen.

TT: Shaking?

She was. The fruity alcohol dripped off her fingertips, from her arm, and started creating little wet drop-spots on her skirt. And it wasn't just the booze. ...it was tears, too.

TT: Lalonde?

"Th-that's me..." she slurred, rubbing her boozey hands on her skirt before rubbing one of her eyes. Her eyeliner was running like some scene kid's.

TT: I worry about you, Lalonde.

She was replying before she knew what was happening.

TG: oh yeha? whys that? because u pity me?
TT: Hoping you aren’t drinking too much.
TT: Hoping that you, quite possibly, aren’t drinking enough to stay in the right mindframe.

The floodgates were opened fully now, the blonde nearly sobbing outright into her hands. "It's so fucking true." Even though, right now, the alcohol was probably exacerbating the problem.

TG: it was workign until u drew attentino to it, thakns asshole

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased bothering timaeusTestified [TT] --


She pushed the computer chair away from the desk to spin it the opposite way, holding out her arm to knock everything off the desk at the same time. "Fuck this," she spat, kicking at things in front of her that were within a foot's reach. "Fuck... errything." Lalonde stood, stumbling over to her dresser and weakly shoving everything off. Bottles crashed to the floor as well as various empty ((and used)) glasses; some clinking and some breaking against one another. The noise managed to startle her in her inebriation, causing the girl to scream in frustration. She heard her mother coming up the stairs. A quick scramble to her door to lock it ended in her falling against it, sliding down with her back against it. Face in her hands. Sobbing. Her head pounded from where it had collided with her bed earlier.

"I'm sooooooopathetic," she managed through her tears, rubbing her boozey fingers through her hair. Smeared makeup trailed up into her hairline. Her mom pounded against the door. Lalonde could hear the smooth timbre of her voice, but couldn't make out a single word the woman was saying. "Go the fuck away, mom!" More mumbles. "No, I didn't take your shit, leave me alone!" Lalonde balled her fist, slamming it into the wood of the door behind her until she could no longer hear her mother, hoping that she'd ambled away. In the process she'd managed to injure herself further, crying and nursing her sore hand. The other was gingerly inspecting the bump on her temple.

"I'm such a ssssstupid bitch," she wailed. "Nnnnno l-love for Lalonde. Ev...everyone has their ssstupid little... someone." Her voice pitched to imitate that of Jane's. "Oooh Mmmmister English, ooooh~ Y-y-you're sostrooong an' so haaandsome n' soooo dreeee~eeamy." A serious of sobs broke her little play before she was able to continue. "Oho, J-Jane. You're s-s-so beautiful a-an' SMASHING an' ono my f-fuckin'... KERCHIEF an' skulls or wha-th-fuck-EVER. CERULEAN BAAABES. Allow me t'sweep you off your fuckin' FEET." Both hands were now balled into fists in her hair, her face wet and red from sobbing. "An' fuckin'... STRIDER. Tha' damn LOSER. MWAH M-MWAH MWAH, JAAANE~~ OOH B-BUT NO, I MUSTN'T FUCKIN' EVEN THINK ABOUT HER. I L-LOVE HER BUT I'M TOO FUCKIN' COOL TO SAY ANYTHIN' TO HERRR. DERP DERP. ROBOTS." Head tipped forward only to be slammed backwards into the door, knocking a few of the hangers of shirts she had hung there to fall on top of her. Screaming again in sudden and incoherent rage she stood, flinging the garments off herself and kicking at them wildly. "NO ONE. FUCKING. LOVES. LALONDE."

Lalonde paced around her room. Muttered to herself. Her drunk brain did flips, causing her stagger to be a little more aimless than usual. Each blink was a little longer and a little more dizzying than the last. Her heart raced. She hyperventilated. Her erratic breathing put a morbid thought into her head, which she voiced. "Sh-should I fuckin'... suffocate, Jake? Will you l-love me then?" She paused in front of the mirror behind her dresser, staring angrily at her reflection. Normally flawless ((if she did say so herself)), it was ugly; a giant smear of makeup, blood, and tears. Her hair was a fright. She was shaking so badly she couldn't even wipe it out of her face. "W-wouldn't I look g-good blue, Jake?" Eyes drifted to the frame of the mirror. Pictures her friends had sent her of themselves were stuck in it. Quaking fingertips reached out to touch the picture of Jake, Lalonde heaving a remarkably difficult and heavy sigh. She swallowed another sob. "O-or you, Mister S-Strider. Would I s-suit you better if I tore my fuckin' heart out like onna yer robots?" Her eyes narrowed. "Or you, Janey. N-not even you can escape this. You're all like... fuckin'... everyone has eyes for you. I'm wise to yer fuckin' game, Janey-poo. I'M SO. FUCKIN'. WISE!" A hoarse screech accompanied a wild tear at the pictures, Lalonde ripping them from their posts and shredding them violently. Still sobbing, she moved to throw them out the window, and managed to step on a shard of a broken martini glass. She shrieked, and crumpled to the floor in a new wave of misery.

"God-fuckin-dammit I hate myself," she wailed, fumbling to tug off her grey sock to claw the piece of glass out. Just barely above her sniveling, she could hear her phone ring. She hobbled to her bed, and answered.

"Who th' f-fuck is this and what d'you fuckin' want?!" she demanded of the mysterious caller, three seconds away from not giving a fuck and flinging her phone out the window, too. The voice on the end stilled her own, and the only thing greeting the anonymous caller was her own fragmented, stunned breathing.
"Lalonde." It had a small vibe of seriousness to it, with an undertone of extreme concern. Crisp, but worried.
"S-Strider," she whispered after a moment, finding it difficult to focus on the impotent conversation at hand with her head and heart pounding in her ears. "What th'fuck do you want?" The words were more desperate than nasty. "H-how did you... even get this number?"
"I'm a fucking genius, Lalonde. That was a stupid question. What are you doing? Calm down. I can fucking hear your girly teenage heart racing all the way over here."