getWittyComment

private static String getWittyComment()
    {
        String[] astring = new String[] {"Who set us up the TNT?", "Everything\'s going to plan. No, really, that was supposed to happen.", "Uh... Did I do that?", "Oops.", "Why did you do that?", "I feel sad now :(", "My bad.", "I\'m sorry, Dave.", "I let you down. Sorry :(", "On the bright side, I bought you a teddy bear!", "Daisy, daisy...", "Oh - I know what I did wrong!", "Hey, that tickles! Hehehe!", "I blame Dinnerbone.", "You should try our sister game, Minceraft!", "Don\'t be sad. I\'ll do better next time, I promise!", "Don\'t be sad, have a hug! <3", "I just don\'t know what went wrong :(", "Shall we play a game?", "Quite honestly, I wouldn\'t worry myself about that.", "I bet Cylons wouldn\'t have this problem.", "Sorry :(", "Surprise! Haha. Well, this is awkward.", "Would you like a cupcake?", "Hi. I\'m Minecraft, and I\'m a crashaholic.", "Ooh. Shiny.", "This doesn\'t make any sense!", "Why is it breaking :(", "Don\'t do that.", "Ouch. That hurt :(", "You\'re mean.", "This is a token for 1 free hug. Redeem at your nearest Mojangsta: [~~HUG~~]", "There are four lights!", "But it works on my machine."};

        try
        {
            return astring[(int)(System.nanoTime() % (long)astring.length)];
        }
        catch (Throwable throwable)
        {
            return "Witty comment unavailable :(";
        }
    }