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AVGN plays a Saw game.

Sep 15th, 2023
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  1. Title: The Angry Video Game Nerd - "Sawed Off"
  2.  
  3. INT. ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD'S BASEMENT - DAY
  4.  
  5. The camera pans across a cluttered basement filled with vintage video game consoles, action figures, and posters of classic games. At the center of the room is the ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD (AVGN), in his iconic white collared shirt and glasses, sitting on a worn-out couch with a controller in hand. A TV screen in front of him displays the title screen for "Sawed Off: The Video Game."
  6.  
  7. AVGN
  8. (grimacing)
  9. Alright, folks, here we go. "Sawed Off: The Video Game." What kind of sick twisted mind thought this was a good idea?
  10.  
  11. The title screen shows a bloody chainsaw slicing through the game's logo, and eerie music plays in the background.
  12.  
  13. AVGN
  14. (rolls eyes)
  15. Real subtle, guys. Real subtle.
  16.  
  17. He presses the start button, and the game begins.
  18.  
  19. INT. "SAWED OFF" VIDEO GAME - ABANDONED ASYLUM - DAY
  20.  
  21. AVGN's character, a hapless victim, is chained to a rusty pipe in a dimly lit room filled with gruesome torture devices.
  22.  
  23. AVGN
  24. (in-game character voice)
  25. Oh, great. Another room of doom.
  26.  
  27. The character struggles to break free from the chains, with clunky controls making it difficult.
  28.  
  29. AVGN
  30. (angry)
  31. Come on, come on! It's like controlling a drunk sloth!
  32.  
  33. The character finally breaks free and explores the room, only to trigger a trap that impales him with spikes. The character's death animation is overly graphic and exaggerated.
  34.  
  35. AVGN
  36. (aghast)
  37. Are you kidding me?! This is a video game, not a damn snuff film!
  38.  
  39. AVGN's character respawns, and he proceeds through the level, encountering more bizarre puzzles and traps that make no logical sense.
  40.  
  41. AVGN
  42. (confused)
  43. Who designs this stuff? Rube Goldberg on bath salts?
  44.  
  45. He reaches a room with a puzzle involving jars of eyeballs and a lever.
  46.  
  47. AVGN
  48. (annoyed)
  49. Oh, look, a puzzle! 'Cause nothing says fun like searching for eyeballs in jars!
  50.  
  51. After struggling to solve the nonsensical puzzle, he's rewarded with a door opening.
  52.  
  53. AVGN
  54. (rolls eyes)
  55. Bravo, game designers. Bravo. You've outdone yourselves.
  56.  
  57. INT. "SAWED OFF" VIDEO GAME - TORTURE CHAMBER - DAY
  58.  
  59. AVGN's character enters a room with a massive, menacing torture device that slowly descends toward him.
  60.  
  61. AVGN
  62. (panicking)
  63. No, no, no! Get out of there!
  64.  
  65. The character dies in an overly gruesome fashion, prompting AVGN to throw his controller in frustration.
  66.  
  67. AVGN
  68. (outraged)
  69. This game is just... just... ugh!
  70.  
  71. INT. ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD'S BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
  72.  
  73. AVGN takes a deep breath, regaining his composure.
  74.  
  75. AVGN
  76. (calm)
  77. Well, that's enough of that. "Sawed Off: The Video Game" is officially the worst thing I've ever played.
  78.  
  79. He turns off the console and leans back on the couch, defeated but relieved.
  80.  
  81. AVGN
  82. (smirking)
  83. At least I won't have to deal with this garbage anymore.
  84.  
  85. FADE OUT.
  86.  
  87. END OF SCENE.
Tags: game nerd avgn saw
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