stories from 4chan

>>3379600
>we want to sell swimsuit calendars at the culture festival

>be Me, Mirio Togata
>be at culture festival with Eri
>see out of the corner of my eye Izuku Midoriya standing next to a stall
>great guy if a little weird, bet he'll be a great hero one day, strong Quirk too
>realise I don't really know him, figure it'd be nice to say hi and see what he's about
>he turns to us with a wide smile, fractured pupils shining
>"Ah, Eri, Mirio! I didn't think I'd get to see you here!"
>Eri is enthused to see a familiar face, always a good sign
>ask him how his stall's doing, he did say he'd been planning something big
>now that I look at it more closely there's a big curtain in the way of whatever he's selling, stopping me from seeing inside
>his grin somehow gets even more enthusiastic, bordering on manic actually
>"I thought you'd never ask! I've been on break until now because we've been selling like hot cakes and I needed to restock, but this seems like a great time to open again!"
>"Behold, my masterpiece!"
>he grabs the curtain and pulls it aside
>good lord
>oh god
>it's filled to the brim with memorabilia of class 1A's boys, except all of them are half-naked and in various more-than-semi-erotic poses that accentuate the curves of their obviously oiled muscles
>as far as I can see the only female is that Mina Ashido, also making muscular poses
>posters, calendars, postcards, mugs, shirts, even fucking body pillows bearing exposed Adonis after Adonis
>By All Might's mighty asshole is that a 3D printed 1:1 replica of Midoriya's abs
>"Yeah, we pretty much sold out just an hour or so after opening. Good thing we ordered extra, huh?"
>unable to fathom why such things would be allowed in UA or why people would actually buy them what cruel trick is this
>however, even that horror pales in comparison to what I feel when the next words pass his lips
"I knew you'd like it, Eri!"
>slowly turning I see pure, sweet Eri with an armful of tainted merchandise
>but that's not the worst of it, oh no
>on her face, hidden behind the junk that her child's body can barely support the weight of, is a wide, gleaming smile highlighted with eyes full of wonder
>I'm too late, I've lost her, she's seen everything
>end up having to buy her everything she selects, most notably one of the Midoriya pillows
>walk off with bags full of trash while being forced to watch Eri make little bicep curl gestures and whispering under her breath
>the fashionable asshole is waving us off the entire time
>tfw the first time she smiles is because she now owns multiple lewd pinups of shirtless muscular men
>tfw I lost my Quirk for this bullshit

Anonymous (ID: drJmLMnZ) 08/06/17(Sun)04:12:36 No.1746563
>>1746474
>>1746480
Going full wizard is fun though. For one thing I have a lot of money, since I never spent it on a never ending parade of women or having kids. So I bought a plot of land out in the Ozarks cheap and built a house there.

Now I fuck with the locals as a hobby. There's a big stoner community near the U of A, so late at night I dress up like an old man in a shitty gray hoodie and go drive out to Taco Bell to hang out. People assume I'm homeless and mostly ignore me. But when I see stoners stop by for the late night munchies, I approach and start rambling about how they're going to need help soon before pushing some shitty bauble onto them. They always either laugh or just stare in awe. Usually I'm just giving out polished rocks, but sometimes it's other shit I have laying around. One time I actually gave a guy a ringpop and he cradled it in his hands like it was really precious. I laughed for days. One time I found a box of kittens, got 'em their shots at the vet, then gave them out one by one to nerdy girls at the library. Didn't let them say no. Just "here, hold this", pull a kitten out of my pocket, walk away.
Sometimes I give out baggies of oregano to high school kids and let them assume it's weed without ever actually saying it is myself.
One time there was a beat up 14 year old kid walking around at like 2 am, dunno what his story was. I went back to my car, got sword I had for LARPing out of my trunk and gave it to him. Real metal, but blunted. Didn't say a word. Kid looked at me like I was god. I felt pretty good about that one.

Basically, don't sweat it. Being a wizard is awesome.