Spooky Week - Holden’s Stater

Spooky Week was a weeklong celebration that had become a tradition on the gaming channel Holden and Ethan shared together.

Viewers seemed to get thrills out of watching them scare themselves. Mostly Ethan. It was like they waited all year for it almost.

Typically, Ethan nor Holden enjoyed horror games. They were too much for their nerves. Spooky Week was one of those times they put themselves through it for the sake of entertainment.

“We’ve got, Left 4 Dead. I don’t think we have ever done that one.” Ethan pointed out the game cover in the list of games they owned. “Looks spooky enough.”

He browsed the screen until he caught another one. “Passing Pineview Forest.” He paused. “Not sure about that one... what’s it even about?” Ethan wasn’t sure but it was something to consider.

The taller male leaned back in the computer chair and stretched.

“Holden! You’re not listening!” He flicked his boyfriend’s arm as he leaned forward again. “It’s fine... I’ll just make sure you get the scariest game this year. After making me suffer through VR last year.”

An idea.

“Oooorrrrr....” he made sure to draw out the word. “We just switch up and you play the same game in VR that I did last year. The viewers will either love that or hate it. They hate seeing you tortured. As if you’re not the toughest amongst us.” Ethan gave a smile, his dimples on full display.

There was a lot their viewers didn’t know about Holden Jims.

They knew that Ethan had attempted suicide before. They only knew of once. But it had actually been 3 times in total. Once when he was 11 and his mom had just broke his arm because of an outburst she was having. Another time when he was 14 and the swim coach refused to let him wear a T-shirt over the school mandated swimsuit. The girls in class laughed and teased him for weeks on end. Constantly throwing names and slurs at him. No one knew he was transgender in those days. No one except maybe Nell.

She seemed to know everything. She hadn’t even been surprised whenever Ethan told her. He distinctly remembered the smile she wore and how proud she looked. A single “finally” escaped her lips as she embraced her brother in a hug for the first time since the reveal. “I know kid. I’m so proud of you.” He was 22. It was 2 years after Ethan began dating Kellen. A year before Evie was born.  4 years since he had first met Holden.

Holden,

Ethan looked over at him now, sitting there. Smiling and in his own world.

One thing that viewers didn’t know, and probably would never know, is that the last time Ethan tried to end his own life Holden had been the one to rescue him.

Unconsciously he traced the lines across his stomach. Hidden scars that only a few had seen.

“Sweetheart,” he called to try and gain Holden’s attention again.

“Would you like to see the notebook with game ideas? Maybe we could put our heads together to formulate a game-plan for the week.” He took hold of Holden’s face and leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips. “You seem distracted love. Are you okay?” Ethan inquired without moving his face far from Holden’s.