df === <lua>assert(argc~=0,"df: dwarf fortress. have you been living under a rock? | #dwarffortress")local a=args:find("%[") if argc == 1 and a == nil then return factoid.dumpfactoid(args) end return cmd.df(args)
taken === <php>$return = json_decode(file_get_contents('http://domai.nr/api/json/search?q='.urlencode($args))); foreach($return->results as $domain) echo $domain->domain.': '.$domain->availability. php_eol;
b === b
<lua>dices,num=string.gsub("%inp%","([0-9]+)d([0-9]+)") === return dices,num
odd === $odd(%inp%)
flip === (╯°□°)╯︵ $reverse($flip(%arg0-%))
teleflip === (/¯◡ ‿ ◡)/¯ ~ $reverse($flip(%arg0-%))
rub === <js>r="a flaming,a sharp,a sticky,a rusty,a bloody,a wet,a stinky,a big,a floppy,a rigid,a purple,richard's,a dirty".split(',');w="stick,finger,pipe,axe,noodle,fish,pickle,pencil,'friend',spoon".split(',');(args?sender:"\1action")+" "+((0|(math.random()*9))?"rubs ":"violates ")+(args?args:sender)+" with "+r[0|(math.random()*r.length)]+" "+w[0|(math.random()*w.length)]+(args?"":"\1");
dogespam === <lua>local function a(b,c)local d={}local e="(.-)"..c;local f=1;local g,h,i=b:find(e,1)while g do if g~=1 or i~=""then table.insert(d,i)end;f=h+1;g,h,i=b:find(e,f)end;if f<=#b then i=b:sub(f)table.insert(d,i)end;return d end; local a=a(net.get("http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=nnn8hysv"),"\n")for i=1,#a do cmd.say(a[i]) end
php-replace === <php>$c=floatval($arg[0])*100;$w=$arg[1];$a=array_splice($arg,2);$a=$a=implode(" ",$a);$i=0;$s=strlen($w)?0|strtolower(substr($w,-1))=='s':0;while($a==$a&(++$i<100))$a=preg_replace('#\b(\w{3,}?)(er|ing|(s)|ed)?\b#iue',"rand(0,100)<$c?(in_array(substr('$1',-1),range('a','z'))?mb_strtoupper('$w'):'$w').('$2'?($s?!'$3':1)?'$2':'':''):('$0')",$a);echo$a==$a?"<action>gives up":$a;
replace === <alias>php-replace %inp%
kill === <js>a=arg.join(" ");r=["kitchen","ballroom","conservatory","dining room","billard room","library","study","hall","lounge"];w=["candlestick","knife","lead pipe","revolver","rope","wrench"];i=math.floor(math.random()*9);j=math.floor(math.random()*6);start="";if(sender==a){start=sender+" commits suicide";}else{start=sender+" murders "+a;}start+" with the "+w[j]+" in the "+r[i];
rpg === log: http://hastebin.com/erokaharal.txt ; channel: #ssss_rpg
whocares === everybody
random === 4
stab === <action>stabs %rndn%. then stabs again. and again. and again. until nothing was left.
by === itself outputs only help
fuck === test
title === <lua>_g.title=function(page) local page_s=net.get(page) assert(page_s,"unable to load page '"..tostring(page).."'") local _,_,title=string.find(page_s,"<title>(.+)</title>") return title end return _g.title("%inp%")
xkcds === <g>xkcd %inp%
titlef === <lua>return function(page) local page_s=net.get(page) assert(page_s,"unable to load page '"..tostring(page).."'") local _,_,title=string.find(page_s,"<title>(.+)</title>") return title end
xkcd<lua>assert(type(title)=="function","run === \"!title\" first!") local num=tonumber("%inp%") local page="http://xkcd.com/"..(num or "") local _,_,alt=string.find(net.get(page),"\.(?:png)?(?:jpg)?\" title=\"([^\"]+)\" alt=") return page.." - "..title(page).." ("..tostring(alt)..")"
xkcd === <lua>assert(type(title)=="function","run \"!title\" first!") local num=tonumber("%inp%") local page="http://xkcd.com/"..(num or "") local _,_,alt=string.find(net.get(page),"\.[jpng]+\" title=\"([^\"]+)\" alt=") return page.." - "..title(page).." ("..tostring(alt)..")"
recursion === <lua>return factoid.recursion()
rndn === $odd(%rndn%)
lua === <lua> %inp%
purr === http://mynoise.net/noisemachines/catpurrnoisegenerator.php
*name* === *msg* will create a factoid that will output *msg*
*salad* === *you ate a $rnd(spinach,caesar,wilted,nine day old,fruit) salad.*
backmeup === <action>thinks that %ioru% is right $rnd(on this matter,about everything, ,and you are wrong)
greet === %user% greeted the newcomer
escape === %ioru% made a $rnd(hasty,slick,ill-fated,successful) getaway
giant === $odd(%rndn%) and $odd(%rndn%) fused together to form a $rnd(ugly,scary,fetid,hungry,fiendish,) giant
kidnap === %user% kidnapped $odd(%ioru%) and $rnd(demanded,requested,politely inquired) a ransom of $rnd(20,100,700,759.3,thirty thousand,ten thousand,thirteen million,tree fiddy) $rnd(dollars,pesos,franklins,penguins,vodkas)
squirrel === $rnd(where?!,where???!,where!!!!?,what! where???)
glasses === ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)
scp === <lua>function get(str) return factoid.xpath(url.." //div[@id='page-content']/p[contains(./strong/text(),'"..str.."')]/text()"):gsub("^results: %d+\n:?%s*(.-)%s*$", "%1") end url="http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-%inp%" return url.."\n"..get("object class").."\n"..get("description")
cheer === \o\ \o/ /o/
setgender === <lua>assert(argc>0,"usage: setgender <gender>")local a=args;cmd.fmap("set gender "..sender.." "..a)print(sender.." is "..a)
gender === <lua,map=gender>local a,b=ioru,nil;for c,d in pairs(map)do if string.lower(c)==string.lower(a)then a=c;b=d;break end end;if b~=nil then print(a.." is "..b)else print("please add %ioru% with ?setgender")end
angry_eyes === ò.ó
slap === <py>import urllib2,random;print(sender+" slaps "+ioru+" with a "+random.choice(urllib2.urlopen("http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=0h0vnzsh").read().split("\r\n"))+" "+ random.choice(urllib2.urlopen("http://pastebin.com/raw.php?i=afmqbneq").read().split("\r\n")));
stroopwafel === <action>makes stroopwafel out of %ioru%
bottle === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts/raw/master/bottle.lua %inp%
funny === %ioru% is now funny xd
cookies === <action>gives %ioru% $rnd(ethics,achievement,sugar,death,chocolate chip,lemon,vanilla,strawberry,cherry,plain,icecream,rainbow,healing) cookies. they taste $rnd(delightful,fantastic,good,great,like soul food,awesome,like heaven,hella good,like pride,less painful).
<action>gives === %ioru% a$rnd(n ethics,n achievement, sugar, death, chocolate chip, lemon, vanilla, strawberry, cherry, plain,n icecream, rainbow, healing) cookie. it tastes $rnd(delightful,fantastic,good,great,like soul food,awesome,like heaven,hella good,like pride,less painful).
reply === <reply>%ioru%
booze === <action>makes booze out of %ioru%
map === https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=1262583
reverse === $reverse(%arg0-%)
bottle-devel === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_bottle/raw/devel/bottle.lua %inp%
bottle_github === https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts
death === <action>is kill
derp === i just don't know what went wrong
yes === yes
byte === <lua>return (string.gsub(args,".",function(ch) return tostring(string.byte(ch)).." " end))
hexchat === http://hexchat.github.io/
changeping === settings>preferences>alerts>highlighted messages
poke === <action>pokes %ioru%
test1 === %user%
$rnd("sigrun === how hard can it be?" "this is a crap building")
$rnd(sigrun === how hard can it be?, this is a crap building)
tuuri === tuuri says: $rnd(...., ahh umm., i'll ask him ...)
olsen === admiral olsen yells: $rnd(are you excited!? i know i am!,welcome to my humble base!,don't worry i won't tell anyone about the unauthorized looting that you plan on doing on the side ha-ha!,i know it's an utter embarrassment!,how *dare* you you little weasely norwegian,welcome to- the edge of the known world!)
bye: === $rnd(bye, ¡adios!, Ćao, hej då, ciao, adieu, viszlát) %ioru%
olsen: === admiral olsen yells: $rnd(are you excited!? i know i am!,welcome to my humble base!,don't worry i won't tell anyone about the unauthorized looting that you plan on doing on the side ha-ha!,i know it's an utter embarrassment!,how *dare* you you little weasely norwegian,welcome to- the edge of the known world!)
trond === trond says: $rnd(i'm old.,another piece of blackmail *wasted*.on *these* people...)
() === <lua>num = (tonumber(arg[1]) or 10) return (string.rep("(",tonumber(num)))..(((not tonumber(arg[1]) and args) or string.gsub(args,arg[1].." ","")))..(string.rep(")",tonumber(num)))
sd33r: === $rnd(welcome, to the superdark33 report!, if you dont know the score- you dont know the truth!)
sd33r === welcome, to the superdark33 report!, if you dont know the score- you dont know the truth!
sigrun === sigrun says: $rnd(how hard can it be?,this is a crap building,i knew i liked you,lend me your strength!,don’t fuss little fuzzy-head!,it was broken before we got here!,you’re gonna read that?,hey no judgments here!,i am the most best,chin up stubby!,takker og bukker!,me being chosen was simply a matter of me being an outstanding warrior!,me! i volunteer!,it's not that bad.,what?! shoot it!,they couldn't send us some real food?)
sigrun: === sigrun says: $rnd(how hard can it be?,this is a crap building,i knew i liked you,lend me your strength!,don’t fuss little fuzzy-head!,it was broken before we got here!,you’re gonna read that?,hey no judgments here!,i am the most best,chin up stubby!,takker og bukker!,me being chosen was simply a matter of me being an outstanding warrior!,me! i volunteer!,it's not that bad.,what?! shoot it!,they couldn't send us some real food?
asa: === asa says: $rnd(tell your norwegian *friend* that if he ever contacts me again i will destroy him!,that scheming mountain monkey!)
asa === asa says: $rnd(tell your norwegian *friend* that if he ever contacts me again i will destroy him!,that scheming mountain monkey!)
lalli === lalli says: $rnd(weird ugly moose!,mrrr!,get. out!,pssh!,i don't work with other people.,kyllä.,i'll try. can't promise anything.,what is that?! what do we do?,i don't carry maps.,...saying i can't do my job...,i'm *tired*.,let me sleep!,i don't fail.,i know where we are. a weird scary foreign country,...i'll try. can't promise anything.,no,*yawn*,*groan*,i'm tired,*chants in finnish*,...bye?)
bleptroll === blep troll says: $rnd(*blep*)
jesty === jesty $rnd(highfives you,flops,\\o/,rolls around,misspells myati's name... aimty... tiamy... whatever,huggles you,flops on you,offers you cookies and a blanket,dies of cuteness overload,hides,disapears,jests)
ana === ana $rnd(doesn't have a command\, what do you think this is?,does something in secret,ignores your instruction unless it's viola,doesn't do things on demand for people unless it's viola,corrects people who mispronounces her name)
rosepieces === rosepieces $rnd(flops)
solovei === solovei $rnd(ships,writes amazing fanfic,plays videogames,practices coding,will sell you chocolate\, but only if you know where to look)
onni === onni says: $rnd(there's literally nothing worth seeing or experiencing outside., b-but..., you just had to show up didn't you?!)
rule1 === "never trust fenris"
highfive === \o
auleliel === auleliel $rnd(draws an adorable animal,skypes,is awake when you are not,sets fire to an origami flotilla)
infected_adri === infected_adri $rnd(gets cured,dies out of cutiness,will burn the silent world,laughs in the silent corner,become a cleanser)
fenris === fenris $rnd(smiles evilly,smells evilly,drinks a beer,destroys the netherlands,thinks the monkey is fun,plays cah)
seeya === $rnd(see ya, görüşürüz, vi ses, vidimo se, Побачимось, hasta luego, aloha, nähdään, À bientôt, À plus tard, sjáumst) %ioru%
$rnd(bye, === Ćao, hej då, viszlát, güle güle, adios, שלום) %ioru%
superdark === superdark $rnd(wishes he had 8 legs\, so he could wear four pairs of hotpants)
pants === $rnd(i wish i had 8 legs\, so i could wear four pairs of hotpants)
lol === lol
quiet === pssh!
action === <action>%arg0-%
megahuggle_code === <lua>local words = { "mega", "super", "hyper", "rhino", "polarbear", "koala", "fuzzy", "tackle" } local phrase,_ = "","%user%" for i=1, (tonumber(arg[2]) or 3) do phrase=phrase .." "..words[math.random(1,#words)] end phrase=phrase .."huggles "..(arg[1] or "everybody") factoid.action((string.gsub(phrase,"^ ","")).."!")
noodly === noodly $rnd(wants to know if there's a noodly,graces you with a noodly appendage,reads,draws,is smart)
whopinged === <lua>return cmd.pb(channel.name.." 10 | "..ioru)
potato === potato $rnd(has a projectile question,thinks it's interesting...,wonders...,can't hear you\, this house is a madhouse,says whaaaa?)
starfallz === starfallz $rnd(arts,takes her kiddo someplace or another,skypes,does 8 things at once,keeps the chat from imploding,pops in,foops out,gives out tea)
terry === terry $rnd(is a dinosaur,has got retractable claws,breeds another hedgehog)
rules === $rnd(never trust fenris,sometimes trust fenris,there are no rules,see rule #1,ask fenris\, he'll explain)
rule === <lua>local rules = { "never listen to fenris.", "listen to fenris when he\'s right.", "listen to fenris when he tells stories." } if rules[tonumber(arg[1])] then return "rule "..arg[1]..": "..rules[tonumber(arg[1])] elseif arg[1] then return "there is no rule \""..arg[1].."\"." else return "specify a rule number." end
sigrid === sigrid $rnd(draws,gazes at the moon,is off making someone very happy,is too far away from wherever you are to hear you,sings and everyone is transfixed)
puppy: === puppy $rnd(is really fenris)
confetti === 2｡･2:4*:2･4ﾟ'2þ4ð2þ4ð2þ4ð2þ4ð2þ4ð2þ4ð2þ4ð
cook === <action>cooks %ioru% with the side of $rnd(potato salad,cheese,wine,vodka,caviar,green olives,chocolate,fava beans)
myartisbad === $rnd(careful! viola will eat you if she hears you say that!,i bet it's actually awesome!,don't say that. it was the best art i've ever seen.)
choose: === $rnd(either,both,i don't care, why should i always be the one to make decisions?,choose for yourself)
choose === $rnd(either.,both.,i don't care.,why should i always be the one to make decisions?,choose for yourself.)
dangranos === dangranos $rnd(breaks shocky,repairs shocky,upgrades shocky,types on russian keyboard layout)
paf === <lua>if tonumber(arg[2] or 2) > 20 then num=20 else num = (tonumber(arg[2]) or 2) end return ("%user% lynx-"..string.rep("paf",tonumber(num)).."s "..(arg[1] or ""))
test5 === <lua>local test = {"a", "b"} return (test[#test])
source === shocky sources: https://github.com/dangranos/shocky/ (partially changed)
hitler === hitler hugs %ioru%
lines === print("-----\10-----")
loveminna === <lua> local chant = {"all hail our goddess and savior minna sundberg ", "people are not allowed to not love minna ","minnaminnaminnaminnaminnaminna"} local phrase=chant[math.random(1,#chant)] for i=1, (math.random(2, 5)) do phrase=phrase..phrase end return(tostring(phrase))
b2d === <lua>b="%inp%" d=0 n=#b for i=1,n do t=(tonumber(string.sub(b,i,i))*(n-i+1)) d=d+(((t ~= 0) and 2^t ) or 0) end print(d)
bxor === <lua>n=arg[1] m=(arg[2] or "0") m=m:rep(math.max(1,math.ceil(#n/#m))) r="" for i=1,#n do r=tostring(((n:sub(-i,-i) ~= m:sub(-i,-i)) and 1) or 0)..r end return r
n2b === <lua>k=(tonumber(arg[1]) or error("must be a number")) r="" while k>0 do r=tostring(k%2)..r k=math.floor(k/2) end return r
d2b === <lua>k=(tonumber(arg[1]) or error("must be a number")) r="" while k>0 do r=tostring(k%2)..r k=math.floor(k/2) end return r
b2g === <lua>b=function(k) r="" while k>0 do r=tostring(k%2)..r k=math.floor(k/2) end return r end arg={} arg[1]="1010101110" n=b(math.floor(tonumber(arg[1],2)/2)) print(n,arg[1]) print(factoid.bxor("0"..n.." "..arg[1]))
b2n === <lua>return tonumber(arg[1],2)
spam === <lua>num = (tonumber(arg[1]) or math.random(2, 40)) return (string.rep("spam ",tonumber(num)).."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2mpt5re")
test727483 === blahblah
sharion === sharion $rnd(wants to be a dinosaur too.,imagines having additional brains in her imaginary additional shoulders.,says "zdravo!",is an elephant)
adri === adri $rnd(is infected,is indecent,thinks the chebyshev collocation method can solve everything,is bob)
fakerand === $rnd(1,2,3)
count === valuename number: something something
recall === valuename
nimsap: === <lua> if nimsap == nil nimsap=0 end nimsap+=(tonumber(arg[1]) return nimsap
pun === punmeterya++
patpat === <lua>local num = (tonumber(arg[2]) or 2) if num > 20 then num = 20 end return ("%user% lynx-"..string.rep("pat",tonumber(num)).."s "..(arg[1] or ""))
trollspeak === <lua>local phrase = ((not (args == "")) and args) or "ggghhhrrhrhrr" return (string.gsub(phrase, ".", function(ch) if math.random(2) == 2 then return string.upper(ch) else return string.lower(ch) end end))
megahuggle === <lua>local words = { "mega", "super", "hyper", "über", "attack", "rocket", "rhino", "polarbear", "koala", "fuzzy", "tackle", "hedgehog", "badger", "snuggle", "lynx", "♡" } local phrase = "%user%" for i=1, (tonumber(arg[2]) or 3) do phrase=phrase .." "..words[math.random(1,#words)] end phrase=phrase .."huggles "..(arg[1] or "everybody") return (string.gsub(phrase,"^ ","")).."!"
entertainme: === *shocky starts juggling with ferrets. no animals are harmed during this performance
ð === ð
rabbit === rabbit $rnd(runs,runs...for office,hunts)
floof === get flooft!
coin === $rnd(head!,tails!)
aki === aki $rnd(might know more than you,isn't saying,might tell you if you're lucky)
china === china says: $rnd(mine!)
marco === polo
vw === polo
cup === <lua>local person = ((arg[1]) or "%user%") drink = "$rnd(wine,cocoa,coffee,tea,honeyed milk,herbal tea,chocolate)" return("shocky offers "..person.." a nice cup of hot "..drink)
shaeira === shaeira $rnd(saves all the kitties,feeds all the kitties,loves all the kitties)
1d20 === $rnd(1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20)
1d6 === $rnd(1,2,3,4,5,6)
cephtest === <lua>return "hey\n\r"..factoid.cephtest()
petroll === rolling a d4 for pet damage: $rnd(1,2,3,4)
reallystay === $rnd(stay here!, go!)
sleep === <lua> return os.execute("ls")
q === ipa
crickets === sir robert throws the ball while sir george holds the bat.
bottlecmds === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts/raw/commands/bottle.lua %inp%
roulette === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts/raw/master/roulette.lua
whoami === %user%
boop === <lua>if not _g.rl then return "run `!roulette` for boops first" end _g.rl.sfw=true print(factoid.roulette())
█ === [redacted]
cat === Σ:3
next === another satisfied customer. next!
sator === <lua>sqr = {"arepo","tenet","opera","rotas"} for i=1,4 do cmd.say(sqr[i]) end
nanana === <alias>batman
larsb === $rnd(hugpiles!,fawns over sigrun,stays awake when he shouldn't,talks about planes forever,snoozes,offers squirrel cookies,is super nice,hugs you all!,goes to work,wonders if we are getting restless,can always be trusted)
misea === $rnd()
fliptable === (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
emil === ✨ <3
rnd === i'm $rnd(1st,2nd,3rd)!
natalie === natalie says: $rnd(i want my own text, :3)!
cosplay === cosplay
acarii === spoken like you're excited about a car: "look, a car! eeeee!'
hny === happy new year!!!
stillalive === this was a triumph. / i'm making a note here: / huge success.
bunny === ɛ:3
helena === helenatroy says: i'm not on often enough to have a thingie
drop === drop the bass! (but when you drop the contrabass, i'll kill you.)
loki: === loki is cute
saphire: === saphire is a floofy dragon!
superdark33: === superdark33 $rnd(is pretty.,is cute,basks in own glory,eats perserved vine leaves stuffed with rice,eats perserved fish that taste like piss,gets excited over any auld shite,is yir auld da,summons mongols,presents self for praise,praises the sun,gazes into the endless void.)
yukichan: === yukichan is izaya's bot. more info can be found at https://github.com/xeonsquared/yukichan
yukichan === yukichan is izaya's bot. more info can be found at https://github.com/xeonsquared/yukichan
bail === looks like %ioru% is bailing out on this one - good luck!
spork === ---ce
fpoon === it's called a spork, silly!
nyeh === nyeh heh heh!
bts === boop the saphire!
john_catalopod === john_cephalopod $rnd(is a flamboyant cuttlefish.,cuttlefishs flamboyantly., flops away., flops on the flop pile.)
!þ === >>> congratulations! thecephalopod/john_cephalopod achieved level 340! <<<
þ === >>> congratulations! thecephalopod/john_cephalopod achieved level 340! <<<
description === <lua,map=desc>local a,b=ioru,nil;for c,d in pairs(map)do if string.lower(c)==string.lower(a)then a=c;b=d;break end end;if b~=nil then print(a.." is "..b)else print("please add %ioru% with ?setdesc")end
desc === <alias>description %inp%
pie === <action>gives %ioru% a piece of $rnd(apple pie.,cherry pie.,blueberry pie.,raspberry pie.,octopie.,π.)
service === that's customer service!
cbottle === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts/raw/commands/bottle.lua %inp%
\o/ === <lua>string.rep("\o/",tonumber(arg[1] or 10))
\\o/ === <lua>string.rep("\o/",tonumber(arg[1] or 10))
burn === b u r n i n h e l l
setdesc === <lua>assert(argc>0,"usage: setdesc <description>")local a=args;cmd.fmap("set desc "..sender.." "..a)print("done.")
noemie === noemie $rnd(thinks what you're doing is probs naw healthy,can literally see ginger,would litteraly throw a pillow at you... but she's too lazy.)
bat === boop all the things!
battle === %ioru% found a mesage in a bo... oh. it's not a bottle but battle! you die.
args === <lua>return args
sanstest === <lua>s=(args or "you're gonna have a bad time") s=s:upper() r="" for i=1,#s do c=string.sub(s,i,i) r=r.." "..c end return r:sub(2,#r)
eriaror === eriaror $rnd(makes the forum a better place,makes the chat a better place,fulfills hungarian stereotypes,feels guilty)
minna === minna $rnd(doesn't have time for this\, she has another page to get done!,is busy mailing someone a book\, try again later,stands still and stays silent,isn't here,is a goddess,is not a goddess\, just awesome)
obama === <lua>return args .. ".. thanks, obama!"
ph === <lua>local a,b,c=factoid[ioru].history;assert(a~=nil,"factoid does not exist")b="\nfactoid: "..ioru.."\nentries: "..#a.."\n\n----------\n"c={{"author","author"},{"timestamp","stamp"},{"locked","locked"},{"forgotten","forgotten"},{"body","rawtext"}}for d,e in ipairs(a)do b=b.."\nentry: "..d;for f,g in ipairs(c)do b=b.."\n"..g[1]..": "..tostring(e[g[2]])end;b=b.."\n\n----------\n"end;return b:paste()
subcommand_test === dumb
subcommand_test2 === dumber
test_main === $rnd($subcommand_test,$subcommand_test2)
stands === for remember
diabetes === <action>diagnosed %ioru% with$rnd( a resistence to, quite a lot of, a $rnd(tiny,large,giant) amount of, an allergy to, heaps of,) diabetes.
say === %user% says '%inp%'
say_in_pieces === %user% says '%arg0%' then '%arg1%'
rainbow === <lua>local ci,c=1,'06040708091012' return (string.gsub(((not (args == "")) and args) or "a double rainbow", ".", function(ch) ci=ci+1 if ci>(#c/2) then ci=1 end return "\03"..string.sub(c,(ci-1)*2+1,ci*2)..ch end)).."\03"
group === <lua>return "$rnd(trolls,rash beasts,giants,ghosts,mages,cleansers,"..factoid.character().."\, "..factoid.character().."\, and "..factoid.character()..")"
cupcake === <alias>muffin %inp%
btp: === boop the peahen!
transitive === $rnd(study,befriend,betray,replace,become,marry,have children with,embarrass,cure,infect,join,trick)
prepositional === <lua>return "$rnd(fascinated by ,enamored of ,curious about ,drawn to ,terrified of ,confused by ,spying on ,planning to "..factoid.transitive().." ,hoping to "..factoid.transitive().." ,unable to see ,a metaphor for ,a closet fan of ,)"
capitalize === <lua>function cap(str) return (str:gsub("^%l", string.upper)) end return cap(args)
testnum === <lua>return $rnd(5)
subtest === wha?
last_learned === john henry was a steel driving man.
learned1 === test
learned2 === amity
learnedamity === ryagamity
learned_john_henry === john henry was a steel driving man.
learn === <lua>cmd.remember("learn_"..args) return nil
learn_lua === <lua>return "lua is easy, of course i want to serve your whims! :ddd"
inc === 0
cmd.remember === function concat(t1,t2) for i=1,#t2 do t1[#t1+i]=t2[i] end return t1 end
concat(t1,t2) === for i=1,#t2 do t1[#t1+i]=t2[i] end return t1 end
headcannon === boom
somerandomname === <lua> someluacommands
addchar === <lua>table.insert(_g._hc.characters,args)
addplace === <lua>table.insert(_g._hc.places,args)
addgroup === <lua>table.insert(_g._hc.groups,args)
addprep === <lua>table.insert(_g._hc.prepositionals,args)
headcanon_test === <lua>f=factoid rand=_g.rand hc=_g._hc c=hc.characters p=hc.places g=hc.groups prep=hc.prepositionals return f.capitalize($rnd(rand(c).." is","all of "..rand(p),rand(g).." are all")).." $rnd(actually,secretly,totally,somewhat) "..assert(loadstring(rand(prep)))()..(((not (args=="")) and args) or $rnd(rand(c),rand(g),rand(p))))
sans === <lua>s=((args~="" and args) or "you're gonna have a bad time") s=s:upper() r="" for i=1,#s do c=string.sub(s,i,i) r=r.." "..c end return r:sub(2,#r)
new_character === <lua>c=_g._hc.character for i,v in ipairs(c) do if (v==args) then return end end table.insert(c,args) cmd.remember("hc_character _g._hc.character")
derpkitty === derp kitty says: $rnd(*meow*,*derp*,*mriiiiiiiii*)
lowkey === <alias>loki
hc_character === {}
hc_place === {}
hc_group === {}
hc_being_verb === {}
hc_transitive_verb === {}
hc_prepositional === {}
hc_adverb === {}
hc_adjective === {}
sts === smooch the saphire!
adrai === adrai $rnd(creates worlds,makes blep lallis,bleps,hides under the floor,sprays colorful paint everywhere)
math === math $rnd(is evil,causes shrieks,is awesome)
unwary === unwary $rnd(posts a cycle.,stops rebar from killing everyone.,runs tc.,answers more of your questions.,has incredibly long hair.,retcons $rnd(history,everything,your life).,disappears in a puff of black smoke.,meanders.)
pong === ping
hack === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts/raw/master/hack.lua %inp%
vote === https://ssssforum.com/thingies/voting.html
levelup === <lua>local a,floor,status,b,c,d='',math.floor local function e(a,b,f,g)if b>=f then a=a..floor(b/f)..g..' 'b=b%f end return a,b end s=idlerpg.status("%ioru%")assert(s,'not an idlerpg player.') b=s.need-s.xp d=wa('now + '..b..' seconds in utc')a=''a,b=e(a,b,7*24*60*60,'w')a,b=e(a,b,24*60*60,'d')a,b=e(a,b,60*60,'h')a,b=e(a,b,60,'m')a=a..floor(b)..'s'return"level: "..s.level.."\n"..a.."\n"..d['result']
mikkel === mikkel says: $rnd(surely i would never!, doesn't matter. it's protocol.,your face is bothering you.,your *face*! do you need help fixing your *face*!?,without proper treatment face-bruises often often turn into what we in the field of medicine call 'face-cancer'.,he is not a prisoner,you may not eat the new guy,you are correct.,hey\, mikkel\, you so fine\, you so fine you blow my mind. hey mikkel!)
niddy === niddy $rnd(*flings glitter in the air and runs away*,says: glitter is the poor mage's ghost reveal :x)
rimshot === https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cdvtcddewi
feet === <lua>if argc > 0 then return (tonumber(arg[1]) * 0.3048)..'m' end
owl === $rnd(origamiowl $rnd(hootaboops),that's ms castanops if you're nasty)
place === $rnd(iceland,sweden,finland,bornholm,denmark,norway,the silent world,the entire known world,the nordic council,reykjavík,copenhagen,mora,keuruu,saimaa lake country)
suicide === %ioru%: should you ever feel uncertain: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
lenfie === <lua>f=factoid return f.wolfie().."$rnd(... meanwhile,\, while,\, even when,\, yet, as,;) "..f.len()
ryagamity === <lua>f=factoid return f.rya()..f.contrast()..' '..f.amity()
pat === http://i.imgur.com/rq38gre.gif
hello === <alias>hi %inp%
windity === <lua>f=factoid return f.amity()..f.contrast()..' '..f.windfighter()
ctts === cater to the saphire!
ltscihops === leave the saphire comfortable in her own personal space!
contrast === $rnd(;,... meanwhile, yet, as,\, while,\, even when,\, yet)
lady === <alias>lady_ramkin %input%
sd33reynir === superdark33 and reynir are kissing
sr === superdark33 and reynir are kissing.
cena === <lua>return factoid.sans("and his name is john cena!!!")
oxi === oxi $rnd(casts magic missile at the darkness,ponders heavily about factoids,steals $rnd(shocky,yukichan)'s $rnd(diacritics,factoids),hides in a cardboard tower)
curru === <alias>curry %input%
curry === curry $rnd(arts,does the do with the things in the place,cosplays the sigrun,is totally awesome)
ryagami === <alias>rya %inp%
amity === amity $rnd(emotes,disappears,is back,$rnd(escapes from,is in,falls into) a $rnd(meeting,dream,trance,boat,pickle,skype),makes a command for $rnd(kjeks,misea) that $rnd(kjeks,misea) erases,spams the chat with shocky commands,lols,performs cookie$rnd(s,) injection,awaits the lengame,says something $rnd(copyrighted,offensive,inoffensive,absurd) that is banned by $rnd(your,some,every,world,eich's,minna's,nimphy's) government)
john === <alias>john_cephalopod %inp%
flik === flik $rnd(is probably the only one to never give shocky a command,says "meow meow meow meow meowmeowmeowmeow meooowww meowmeow")
btw === boop the wolfie
smallcaps === <lua>orig = "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz" repl = {"ᴀ","ʙ","ᴄ","ᴅ","ᴇ","ғ","ɢ","ʜ","ɪ","ᴊ","ᴋ","ʟ","ᴍ","ɴ","ᴏ","ᴘ","ǫ","ʀ","s","ᴛ","ᴜ","ᴠ","ᴡ","x","ʏ","ᴢ",} return (string.gsub(args,"[a-za-z]",function(a) return repl[(string.find(orig,string.lower(a)))] end))
wolfie === wolfie $rnd(has joined the chat,pedals faster,is getting stronger and stronger as time goes by,is getting stranger and stranger as time goes by,shouldn't be skyping\, but is,moon-moons,shouts "jay!",makes a movie)
headcanon_ === <alias>$rnd(<f:character> is,all of <f:place> is,<f:group> are all) $rnd(actually,secretly,totally,somewhat) <f:prepositional>
headcanon1 === <alias>hack $rnd(<f:character> is,all of <f:place> is,<f:group> are all) $rnd(actually,secretly,totally,somewhat) <f:prepositional>%inp%
jointest1 === <lua>if(string.find(args, ',')==nil) then a,n=arg,argc else a={} for i in string.gmatch(args,"[^,]+") do table.insert(a, i) end n=#a end o='' for i=1,n do c='' a1,a2=a[i]:match("([^ ]+) *([^ ]*.*)") next=loadstring("return factoid."..a1.."(\""..a2.."\")")() if type(next)~="string" then next='' elseif o~='' then c=factoid.contrast()..' ' end o=o..c..next end if o=="" then o="hmmmmmmmmmm" end
e === eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
superya === <alias>join superdark33 rya
jointest === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/hwizy7ax %inp%
join === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/hwizy7ax %inp%
sup === <alias>superdark33 %inp%
prefix1 === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.prefix1(),"")..f.prefix()
compound === <lua>f=factoid return f.prefix1()..f.base()
pre === {poly,anti,multi,a,di,bi,pan,necro,demi,semi,tele,micro,macro,sesqui,super,supra,hydro,aqua,auto,andro,co,con,dia,homo,hetero,circum,apo,crypto}
addprefix === <lua>f=factoid p=_g._phr table.insert(p.prefix,args) cmd.remember("prefix <lua>print(_g._phr.prefix)") print("done!")
test2 === <lua>print(#("$rnd(1,22,333,4444,55555)"))
phrase2 === <lua>f=factoid if arg[1]==0 then o="" else o=f.phrase2(arg[1]-1).." ly" end return o..f.compound()
pts === pat the saphire!
phrase1 === <lua>f=factoid if arg[1]==nil then o=$rnd(f.phrase1().."ly ","","") elseif arg[1]=="1" then o="" else o=f.phrase1(arg[1]-1).."ly " end return o..f.compound()
lallispam === <lua>local function a(b,c)local d={}local e="(.-)"..c;local f=1;local g,h,i=b:find(e,1)while g do if g~=1 or i~=""then table.insert(d,i)end;f=h+1;g,h,i=b:find(e,f)end;if f<=#b then i=b:sub(f)table.insert(d,i)end;return d end; local a=a(net.get("http://pastebin.com/raw/p4f8qlxn"),"\n")for i=1,#a do cmd.say(a[i]) end
echo === <lua>return args
comparative === <lua>return factoid.phrase(args).."er"
superlative === <lua>return factoid.phrase(args).."est"
actualhelp === sorry, cant help you!
buzzword === $rnd(24/7/365 aviability, cloud services, p2p infrastucture, nano technology, quantum fluctuation, synergetic effects, usability engineering, scrum techniques, reverse engineering, meshed networks, agile models, prototyping, it security\, made in germany, virtual reality, augmented reality, mobile-friendliness, bleeding edge technology, network layer ipsec, asymmetric encryption, public key cryptography)
piney === piney $rnd(is not an actual pine$rnd(,... unfortunately),is a pine cone)
hts === <lua>whom = "saphire" if irc.user == "saphire" then whom = "super" end return("hug the " .. whom .. "!")
knockknock === who's there?
knocktwo === reserved who?
wilhelm === $rnd(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn6hhrx34pw,tell)
ehhehhehh === https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xbttbh6ip4
stockscream === $rnd(insane tantrum! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xbttbh6ip4,wilhelm! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn6hhrx34pw,howie long! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcqudbdfmx4, goofy holler! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwl9ds1dzte)
new_mask === <lua>math.randomseed(os.time()) n=arg[1] k=arg[2] b=true o=0 while b do new=bit.bor(o,bit.lshift(1,math.random(0,n-1))) if (new~=o) then o=new k=k-1 end b=(k~=0) end return o
newmask === <lua>math.randomseed(os.time()) n=arg[1] k=arg[2] b=true o=0 while b do new=bit.bor(o,bit.lshift(1,math.random(0,n-1))) if (new~=o) then o=new k=k-1 end b=(k~=0) end return o
article === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/dv6bbm3q %inp%
anoun === <lua>return factoid.article(args).." "..args
silenter === silenter$rnd('s $rnd(brain is just wack at the moment), $rnd(will just hang around))
everyone === everyone $rnd(jumps up and down and shouts,runs shocky commands,swoons over the most recent page)
cati === cati $rnd(likes this bot,wonders if there is documentation for this stuff,will be deconfused eventually,shan't be scared away)
mel === <alias>melusine %inp%
kjeks === nil
superant === is it a spider? is it a mars rover? no! it's superant!
superrant === superdark33 $rnd(is super cute,giggles,punches a wall out of pure happiness,smiles,is happy,flops happily,feels great,predicts happiness,laughs joyfully)
x === xd
xd === $rnd(xd,<action> laughs)
hit === $rnd(%user% hits %ioru%,<action> hits %ioru%,<action> plays a hitsong for %ioru%)
loki === loki $rnd(gives birth to $rnd(an,$rnd(yet ,)another,one more) eight-legged horse,argues with thor,is cute,dresses thor as a bride,is lip-deep in eight-legged horses by now,is friends with batman.,cries hysterically,hugs the reynir body pillow,spams the !loki-command,is crazy\, but you like it)
snek1 === <lua>f=factoid o=$rnd(f.snek1(),f.snek1(),f.snek1(),"") return o.."snek"
pagelink === http://sssscomic.com/comic.php
request === <lua,map=suggestions>local n=map.requests or 0 if args~="" then n=n+1 map["request_"..tostring(n)] = "["..(irc.nick or "null").."]"..args end return "please add the text of the request!"
suggestions === <lua,map=suggestions>ret="" for k,v in pairs(map) do if k:find("_[0-9]+") then ret=(string.gsub(k,"_"," #"))..ret.."\n" end end return ret:paste()
printmap === <lua,map=%arg0%>ret = "map %arg0%\n" for k,v in pairs(map) do ret=ret.."["..k.."]: \""..v.."\"" end return ret:paste()
napalm === emil $rnd(prepares his flamethrower,reloads the flamethrower,sets everything on fire,feels the bern,sets rome on fire and plays music)
sunny === <alias>sunflower %inp%
sunflower === sunflower $rnd(snerts,threatens to show everyone some editions of data-driven digest)
<3/> === ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
articalize === <lua>return factoid.article(args).." "..args
tfw === <lua>f=factoid o=(((argc~=0) and f.headcanon(args)) or $rnd(f.headcanon(),"u r literally "..f.phrase(2))) o=o:upper() return "tfw "..o
phrase === <lua>f=factoid if arg[1]==nil then o=$rnd(f.phrase(),"","") if o:sub(#o)=="c" then o=o.."al" end if o~="" then o=o.."ly " end elseif arg[1]+0<=1 then o="" else o=f.phrase(arg[1]-1) if o:match("c$") then o=o.."al" end o=o.."ly " end return o..f.compound()
tag === bleib bei uns, denn es will abend werden!
otp === otp is set of erlang libraries and design principles providing middle-ware to develop these systems. it includes its own distributed database, applications to interface towards other languages, debugging and release handling tools. these tools and applications distributed by ericsson are complemented by numerous other open source projects.
all === <lua>return factoid.capitalize("all ur $rnd(base,snek,king,us) r belong 2 $rnd(snek,us,%ioru%)")
transitiving === $rnd(studying,befriending,betraying,replacing,becoming,marrying,having children with,embarrassing,curing,infecting,joining,tricking)
transitived === $rnd(studied,befriended,betrayed,replaced,became,married,had children with,embarrass,cured,infected,joined,tricked)
transitives === $rnd(studies,befriends,betrays,replaces,becomes,marries,has children with,embarrasses,cures,infects,joins,tricks)
t === $rnd(,,might,can,could,should)
v === <alias>transitive %inp%
v1 === <alias>transitives %inp%
name === <alias>character %inp%
deg === $rnd(very,somewhat,actually)
adv === $rnd(secretly,really)
p === $rnd(to,on,at)
det === $rnd(the,one)
cp === <lua>f=factoid return f.c().." "..f.tp()
pp: === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.p().." "..f.np(), f.p()..$rnd(" "..f.tp(),""))
nprime1 === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.ap().." "..f.nprime1())
pp === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.p().." "..f.np(),f.p().." "..$rnd(f.tp(),""))
np1 === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.pn(),f.name())
ap === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd($rnd(f.deg().." ","")..f.a())
nprime === <lua>f=factoid return f.ap().." "..f.n()
phrasely === <lua>f=factoid o=f.phrase(arg[1]) if o:match("c$") then o=o.."al" end o=o.."ly" return o
a$rnd(troll,ghost,candle,can === of soup,skull)
n === $rnd(troll,ghost,candle,can of soup,skull)
pn === $rnd(someone,somebody,everyone,everybody)
c === $rnd(because,so that,so,\'cause,even though)
tprime === <lua>f=factoid o=f.t() if (o=="") then o=f.vp1(args) else o=o.." "..f.vp(args) end return o
vp === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.advp().." ","")..f.v().." "..f.np(args)..$rnd(" "..f.cp(),"","")
vp1 === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.advp().." ","")..f.v1().." "..f.np(args)..$rnd(" "..f.cp(),"","")
tp === <lua>f=factoid return f.np(args).." "..f.tprime(args)
np === <lua>f=factoid if args~="" then o=$rnd(f.det().." "..f.nprime(),f.pn(),f.name(),args,args,args) else o=$rnd(f.det().." "..f.nprime(),f.pn(),f.name()) end return o
a === $rnd(majestic,fabulous,dangerous,cautious,perplexing,terrifying,curious,infected)
greg === greg says hi
advp === <lua>f=factoid return $rnd(f.deg().." ","")..f.adv()
testing1 === blreh
fanfiction === <lua>f=factoid return f.capitalize(f.tp(args))
ff === <alias>fanfiction %inp%
autofiction === <lua>f=factoid return f.capitalize(f.tp(args))
af === <alias>autofiction %inp%
honk === roolooloolooloo
prefix === $rnd(poly,anti,multi,a,di,bi,pan,necro,demi,semi,tele,micro,macro,sesqui,super,supra,hydro,aqua,auto,andro,gyno,co,con,dia,homo,hetero,circum,apo,crypto,de,mega,meta,trans)
base === $rnd(fenestrational,sexual,amorous,musculous,scopical,phobic,philic,linear,androus,gynous,fanfictional,tumblrous,serpentinous,planar,syn$rnd(a,)esthetic)
europe === http://i.imgur.com/do9asud.jpg
time === <noreply>
no === <noreply>
ts === sorry taiya
ship === $odd(%rndn%) x $odd(%rndn%)
tvtropes === g tvtropes %inp%
yay === too loud?
cri === https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=novwefizfrk
ssss === <lua>not (args=="") and (a="?page="..args) print "http://sssscomic.com/comic.php"..a
explain === https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyqjchytqgq
headcannnon === "but i would bet a stack of fanon, there's no such thing as a three-n cannnon."
welshify === <lua>return (string.gsub(args,"([^aeiouaeiou%s])%a-([^aeiouaeiou%s])","%1wy%2"))
twb === $rnd(welcome back,välkommen tillbaka,dobrodosao/la nazad,С возвращением,welkom terug), %ioru%!
mope === o o o o
tape: === <action> $rnd(tapes,bolts,fastens,hammers,glues) %ioru% to the chat
top === <lua>l=arg[1] c=arg[2] o={} if l==nil or l=='' then return o end if c==nil or c=='' then return l end return o
toptest === <lua>l={1,2,3} return factoid.top(l)
testtop === <lua> f='' f=f or 5 return tostring(f)..' yay'
rolltest === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/5m6g9sjc %inp%
sil_roll === <lua>skill,mod=string.match(arg, "(%d)([+-])(%d)") return tostring(skill).." "..tostring(mod)
rollsil === <lua>skill,sign,mod=string.match(arg, "(%d)([+-])(%d)") return tostring(skill).." "..tostring(sign)..tostring(mod)
sil === <lua>sk,sig,mod=string.match(args, "(%d)([+-]?)(%d?)") if sk==nil or sk=='' then sk=0 end sk=tonumber(sk) if mod==nil or mod=='' then mod=0 mod=tonumber(mod) end if sig=='-' then mod = mod * -1 end return tonumber(factoid.roll(sk..'d6')) + mod
consonant === $rnd(b,c,d,f,g,h,j,k,l,m,n,p,r,s,t,v,w,x,z)
vowel === $rnd(a,e,i,o,u)
syllable === <lua>f=factoid v=f.vowel c=f.consonant1 return $rnd($rnd(v(),"")..v()..c()..$rnd(c(),""),$rnd(c(),"")..c()..$rnd(v(),"")..v(),$rnd(c(),"")..c()..$rnd(v(),"")..v()..c()..$rnd(c(),""))
consonant1 === $rnd(b,c,d,g,h,l,m,n,p,r,s,t,w)
<alias>loadlua === http://pastebin.com/raw/7lml7pzu %inp%
mari === only quilting matters and even that is not very important
csi === <lua>f=factoid return "$rnd(i guess you could say that,it looks like) "..f.np().."... "..f.glasses().." ..."..$rnd(f.advp().." ","")..f.v1().." "..f.np()..". $rnd(lol,,,)yeaaaaahhhhhhh!!"
adjective === $rnd(majestic,fabulous,dangerous,cautious,perplexing,terrifying,curious,infected)
<3 === <lua>num = (tonumber(arg[1]) or 10) return string.rep("♡♥",tonumber(num))
ping === <lua>return cmd.ping("%ioru%")
daelf === daelf $rnd(says ... muh?,uses fancy ellipses)
im === kik, whatsapp and similar do not respect your freedoms, take a look at tox ( https://tox.chat/ ), xmpp ( https://xmpp.org/ ) or signal ( https://whispersystems.org/blog/signal/ - requires phone number)
snake === haha, yuo cant evn spel snek corectley!
google === <lua>return cmd.google(args)
makecmd === <lua>cmd.remember(args.." <lua>return cmd."..args.."(args)")
bf === <lua>return cmd.bf(args)
remember === <lua>return cmd.remember(args)
<lua>return === cmd.(args)
urban === <lua>return cmd.urban(args)
g === <lua>return cmd.g(args)
ask === <tell>
knork === half knife, half fork. way more useful than a spork or a foon.
eats === noodles
batman === backflips off of the empire state building into the night
hugs === ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ %ioru%
catface === (´・ω・`)
rungle === rungle $rnd(stares blankly into space,tries to make shocky factoids)
moose === http://40.media.tumblr.com/53a17e164f9f68f520629badbb628d16/tumblr_nls4811w2g1sezox7o1_500.png
snakes === haha, yuo cant evn spel sneks corectley!
sometrivianame === puts this text here every time you write !trivianame.
procrastinate === https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/04/27/why-you-cant-help-read-this-article-about-procrastination-instead-of-doing-your-job
procrastination === <alias>procrastinate
meep! === meep!!!!!
eich === aka n00btr00p3r101
newcommandyall === beans
len === death $rnd(appears silently out of the shadows and escorts you to the netherworld,swings his scythe with a true aim,reminds you that lighting a match in a closed room full of oil is a very bright idea,delights in petting the cats feasting on your body,is just doing his job - don´t hold a grudge,of rats scurries past,of rats gives a derisive squeek,of rats converses with the crow currently devouring your eyeballs)
bear === ʕ•ᴥ•?
reynir === reynir says: $rnd(it's stupid. i'm stupid., it’s not funny any more., i helped!,sorry...,is this a palm tree?,please don't eat me!,my hair is super dumb and i'm going to cut it all off!)
xkcdr === <lua>assert(type(title)=="function","run \"!title\" first!") local num=tonumber("%rnd%") local page="http://xkcd.com/"..num local _,_,alt=string.find(net.get(page),"\.[jpng]+\" title=\"([^\"]+)\" alt=") return page.." - "..title(page).." ("..tostring(alt)..")"
factoids === https://reynir.aww.moe/factoids.php
wolf === ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ
rev === ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
cheetah === ~*~*~*~chirps~*~*~*~
meow === ~*~*~meow~*~*~
eichirp === eich $rnd(chirps :v,doesn't chirp :i)
flister === <lua>return cmd.flister(args)
reverseflip === <lua>f=factoid return f.flip(f.reverse(args))
rotate === <lua>f=factoid return f.flip(f.reverse(args))
snek === <lua>o=$rnd("boop","boop","boop","heck"," http://i.imgur.com/a8vgeka.jpg") return factoid.snek1()..o
alice === Σ:3 -> :3 -> 3 ->
summonrya === solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris
$rnd(welcome === back,välkommen tillbaka,dobrodošao/la nazad,С возвращением,welkom terug,tervetuloa takaisin,tere tulemast tagasi), %ioru%!
nietos === nietos is a true finn, $rnd(skilled in passive-aggression,and doesn't pronounce his name 'knee-toes' at all,and tells ginger when she is breadsplaining)
<alias>join === "ginger noemie"
ginmie === <lua>f=factoid return f.join("ginger noemie")
ott === <alias>otter
kanelbulle === <action>gives %ioru% a kanelbulle
pulse3 === <alias>pulse
puls3 === <alias>pulse
tropo === <alias>troposphere
pulse === puls3 $rnd(is a literal heartbreaker,thinks making factoids is coding)
trivia === you should join the totally awesome krita monthly drawing challenge special at https://forum.kde.org/viewtopic.php?f=277&t=133220
headcanontest === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/tgvmczxz %inp%
headcanon === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/tgvmczxz %inp%
hc === <alias>headcanon %inp%
hc1 === <lua>f=factoid if string.sub(args,-1) == 's' then pos = "' " else pos = "'s " end return f.headcanontest(args) .. pos .. f.word()
rep === <lua>n=table.remove(arg,2) return factoid.hack(string.rep("<f:"..table.remove(arg,1)..":"..table.concat(arg, " ").."> ",n))
wordmess === <lua>return factoid.hack(string.rep("<f:word:"..tostring(math.floor(math.random(1,(arg[2] or 5)*10)/10)).."> ",arg[1] or 8))
triforce === the functional significance of individual variation in basal metabolic rate
ikea === sweden's best invention with fantastic meatballs
$rnd(gingerbraidgirl === $rnd(keeps some things secret,$rnd(looks like,actually *is*) reynir,doesn't look like reynir despite what you might have heard,can spell,is literally seen by noemie,is $rnd(finger,gigner),wants shocky to say "woot!",is accidentally way too loud,only cares about sneks anymore,is peperkoekkikker,feels like she's in the real life version of geoguessr,is a serbian orange)
nick === $rnd(windfighter,ginger,daea,shocky) changes $rnd($rnd(windfighter,ginger,daea)'s,their own) nickname
daea === daea $rnd($rnd(doesn't think,thinks) there is a factoid about her,has $rnd(no ,)factoid ideas,is a princess\, obvi)
skönhet === playlist
oprah === check under your seats! you get a %ioru%! you get a %ioru%! everybody gets a %ioru%
hail === <lua> if (args=="") then args="the mighty glow cloud" end return "all hail "..args..", great master of all!"
crime === %ioru% gains $rnd(windy,rya,amity,kataai,shocky,yukichan,eriaror,daea)'s crimes
zoidberg === :33
bearotter === (o3o)
otterbear === ʕ ͡° ᴥ•ʔ
r === <lua>return cmd.r(args)
testing === testing
<kittendimension> === <$rnd(only lo$rnd(gi,nely tropi,)cal miles here,kittens elegantly float from the sky,you are covered in thousands of kittens,everything is beautiful and nothing hurts)>
miles === <lua>if argc > 0 then return (tonumber(arg[1]) * 1.60934)..'km' end
winkwonk === $rnd(( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))
word === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/7l9acrgy %inp%
otter === ʕ ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʔ
fox === fox $rnd(breaks an aurora,gets a finnish village stuck in an aurora,is irresponsible)
trout === $rnd(what even the heck amity)
orange === $rnd(did you mean squickian ofralge?,i hear they're all the rage in serbia)
lenny === <alias>len
hamilton === $rnd(go listen now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdr-g6ly4sy&list=plu6gqrehjmsepezsefmr1l8dnzwg8tuvk)
seal === a cute baby seal comes in. it's a seal $rnd(of approval,that shall never be broken,\, sealing an ancient tomb)
appalachia === $rnd(proceed very carefully if ginger is near,above the mason-dixon line you may pronounce it however you like\, but if you are below the mason-dixon line and you don't pronounce it ah-puh-latch-uh ginger may attack you)
teddybear: === ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
tropobear === ʕ•ᴥ•?
dot === the best dot is the godot, everybody is waiting for it.
somethingsomething === %ioru% doesn't know what to say
seen === <lua>return cmd.seen(args)
shrug === ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
dog === ∪＾ェ＾∪
? === ?!?!?!?!?!
garden === $rnd(you are surrounded by a magical faerie garden,butterflies flutter toward you,a songbird alights on your hand and croons sweet love songs to you,blossoms float on a soft breeze,turtles swim peacefully in the pond,koi swim through the beams of sunlight which are entering their pond,forget-me-nots open up their petals toward the sun)
we === $rnd(whateve$rnd(r,n),wheneve$rnd(r,n),whereve$rnd(r,n),whoeve$rnd(r,n),whomeve$rnd(r,n),whyeve$rnd(r,n),♫ whenever\, wherever\, you and i can be together ♫)
shakira === $rnd(♫ whenever\, wherever\, we're meant to be together ♫,♫ birds don't just fly\, they fall down and get up ♫,♫ you know my hips don't lie ♫)
degdeg === ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
laufey === laufey $rnd(*accordion noises*,knits stuff,watercolours,arts sgru,dies because sigrun art,is a cabbage)
revantu === lord $rnd(revan slices you in half with his lightsaber.,revan gives you a pink cupcake.,revan gives you a blue marshmallow.,revan gives you a pink marshmallow.,revan eyes you wearily.,revan turns away from you.,of smallows showers you with pink and white smallows.,revan thinks that ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ is a better teddybear than ʕ•ᴥ•?.)
xyproblem === http://mywiki.wooledge.org/xyproblem
stone === <lua>if argc > 0 then return (tonumber(arg[1]) * 6.35029)..'kg' end
teddybear === ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ
calctest === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/zktrgd4t %inp%
calculate === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/zktrgd4t %inp%
edna === $rnd(https://ssssforum.com/index.php?topic=876.0)
skype === it's also a trap!
jitsi === $rnd(it's a trap,come meet $rnd(the serbian orange,the laughing dutchman,the whistling ghost,the mithghost,mun-mun,all the tarts)!)
swallow === "african or european?" - "i don't know... aaaaaah"
pb === <lua>return cmd.pb(args)
swag === pokemans
laugh === hahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
keeper === keeper $rnd(bows like an antagonist,says\, "$rnd(lovely,interesting).",is actually kataai in disguise.,is untouchable.,is a precious tart savage bean.)
bigcol === big_col feeds the floof
big_col === big_col $rnd(wonders if there is a big_col command,feeds the floof)
dance === $rnd(_o\) \(o\) \(o_,\\o\) \(o\) \(o/,♪～(◔◡◔ิ)人(╹◡╹๑)～♪)
hug === <action>$rnd(hugs, bearhugs $rnd(ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ,ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ),ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ,(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ) %ioru%
pink === ooooooh, lightred <3 <3
stahp === .stahp
loll === use !sroll instead
sroll === <lua>r, s, b = string.match(args, "([-]?%d+)%s*([-+]?)%s*(%d*)"); ks = ''; if (r==nil) or (tonumber(r)<0) or (s=='' and b~='') or (s~='' and b=='') then return "usage: !sroll skill [+/- bonus]"; end; if (tonumber(r)==0) then ks = '-'; r = 2; end; return factoid.roll(r.."d6k"..ks.."1"..s..b)
lloll === <lua>r, s, b = string.match(args, "([-]?%d+)%s*([-+]?)%s*(%d*)"); k='1'; if (r==nil) or (tonumber(r)<0) or (s=='' and b~='') or (s~='' and b=='') then return "usage: !sroll skill [+/- bonus]"; end; if (tonumber(r)==0) then k='-2' r='2'; end; return factoid.roll(r.."d6k"..k..s..b)
roll === <alias>loadlua http://pastebin.com/raw/bkjvqhre %inp%
fahrenheit === <lua>if argc > 0 then f=arg[1]; return tostring(f)..'f = '..((tonumber(arg[1]) - 32) * 0.555556)..'c' end; return 'usage: !fahrenheit <degrees>'
mpg === <lua>if argc > 0 then mpg=arg[1]; return mpg..'mi/gal = '..(2.35214583 * 100 / tonumber(mpg))..'l/100km'; end; return 'usage: !mpg <mileage>'
pounds === <lua>if argc > 0 then lbs=arg[1]; return (tonumber(lbs) * 0.453592)..'kg'; end; return 'usage: !pounds <number>'
kilograms === <lua>if argc > 0 then kgs=arg[1]; return (tonumber(kgs) / 0.453592)..'lbs'; end; return 'usage: !kilograms <number>'
celsius === <lua>if argc then c=tonumber(arg[1]); return string.format('%.4fc = %.4ff',c ,(c / 0.555556) + 32) end; return 'usage: !celsius <degrees>'
furlongsperfortnight === <lua>if argc then fpf=tonumber(arg[1]); return string.format('%f furlongs per fortnight = %fkph', fpf, fpf * 0.201168 / 336); end; return 'usage: !furlongsperfortnight <amount>'
rya === rya $rnd(causes trouble,is a bro,"lol guys",thinks the monkey is stupid,sneezes,$rnd(prays,is thankful) for shocky's return,is un ryagamo,tries to develop new head-launching cannons,eats noodle soup,is thinking... probably...,listens to eurovision songs,must collect snek pics,is a hedgehog,is learning $rnd(swedish,italian,turkish,some variety of serbian),is returned,exdees)
stats === https://reynir.aww.moe/stats/ssss.html
meters === <lua>if argc > 0 then result=tonumber(arg[1]) / 0.3048; ft=math.floor(result); ins=(result - ft) * 12; output=""; if ft ~= 0 then output=ft..'\''; end; return output..ins..'"'; end; return 'usage: !meters <amount>'
wraith === "blasted wraiths" - basse_, circa 2016
teddyflip === ʕノ•ᴥ•ʔノ ︵ $reverse($flip(%arg0-%))
windyize === <lua>if argc > 0 then w=""; for i=1,argc do if w~='' then sep=' ' else sep='' end; w=w..sep..arg[i]; end; return w..' = '..math.random(100,100000)..'mm'; end; return 'usage: !windyize <measurement>'
windy === <alias>windfighter %inp%
talimee === talimee $rnd(retreats to the confusion sofa)
yellow === submarine
bw === <alias>butterflywings %inp%
shocky === shocky is in a relationship with $rnd(yukichan,eris,upallnight) now.
marshmallow === ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ
sleeping === ʕv-vʔ
like === <action> likes $rnd(everyone,nims)
ih === <alias>hi
mith === $rnd(<_<,<__<,<___<,>_>,>__>,>___>,:i)
lobster: === $rnd((v)(;\,\,;)(v),/╲/\╭ºo_oº╮/\╱\,(\/)!_!(\/))
lobster === $rnd((v)(;\,\,;)(v),/╲/\\╭ºo_oº╮/\\╱\\ ,(v)!_!(v))
upallnight === s l e e p i s f o r t h e w e a k
blueskyvail === blue says somethind quotable
nimphy === $rnd(nimphy,nimpgt) $rnd(\\o/,rules the world,thinks she can't draw,can actually draw,loves pasta,makes pasta,makes pasta with much salt)
! === <alias>?
whale === $rnd(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_t44sifyb4 \(_o \)y,\(_o \)y)
melusine === thanks for the "good night ? welcome back ? i don't know"
is === for rename, .tell is for tell
thorir === Þórir $rnd(is a total cutie,is not thor unfortunatly,is from iceland,is ultra adorable,overwrites factoids, wants a cooler factoid)
responsibility === %ioru% takes $rnd(windy,rya,amity,kataai,shocky,yukichan,eriaror,daea,pillowcat)'s responsibilities.
´. === .........
meth === x_x
missed === $rnd(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/laser_scope.jpg,don't leave me this way!)
gaemmel === mäh!
yw === $rnd(you're welcome,graag gedaan,gern geschehen,ekkert að þakka), %ioru%!
bubbles === o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
<commandname> === command
nonstddev === $rnd(nonstddev is blank,nonstddev has a factoid made,no info could be found on nonstddev,nonstddev has poor braiding skills.,nonstandarddeviation wonders why his nick is so long.,nonstddev wants to pet the floof.,nonstddev should make more cookies.,nsd: nasa standard detonator.,nonstddev glows faintly when trolls are near.,nonstddev is anthropoid.)
h === hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
evillaugh === mwahahahaha mwahahahahahaha mwahahahahahah... sorry...
irony === well, that happened.
commandname === command
dhraakellian === dhraakellian is a drake
troposphere === tropo $rnd(waves a white flag,has problems with administration,uses the chebyshev spectral collocation method,solves differential equations,stares at tollmien-schlichting waves,suffers another absurd hardware failure,dislikes coordinate transformations,supports text to speech \(tts\) in 32 languages and dialects\, in both male and female voices)
atest === 123
history === <alias>ph %arg1,%
chirp === <lua>str=""function s(a)str=str..a end chirps = (tonumber(arg[1]) or math.random(2,4)); for i=1,chirps do s("*chirp") if math.random(1,10) > 5 then s(" chirp") end s("*") d=math.random(4,6) if i~=chirps then for i=1,d do s(" "..(("."):rep(math.ceil(math.random(2,8)/2)))) end s(" ") end end print(str)
floorman === i have come to stop ginger from enjoying talking with her friends! mwahahahaha
1337 === p14c3h01d3r
cerberus === cerberus loves marshmallows.
lady_ramkin === lady_ramkin $rnd(doesn't know what happened to her command,visits $rnd(starfallz,mars,earth,chat,rash-plagued philadelphia,the last human strong hold in d.c.))
viola === viola $rnd(eats someone,shouts in icelandic,throws confetti þ and ð everywhere,plays viola,drinks sprite,skalds,disagrees with fenris)
munmun === $rnd(it is basse's fault that i exist,the better version of moon moon,i light the swedish night sky,mun mun guides basse_'s way,what is the opposite of the sun sun?,your favorite swedish wolf borne of jitsi confusion)
<lua>if === argc == 0 or argv[0] == "shocky" then return "ok" else return "nope"; end;
tetetest === <lua>if argc > 0 then if arg[1] == "shocky" then return "<action>tests" else return "nope"; end; end;
amityize === <lua>if argc > 0 then w=""; for i=1,argc do if w~='' then sep=' ' else sep='' end; if i==1 and arg[i]=='shocky' then w='<action>' else w=w..sep..arg[i]..' '; end; end; return w..'weighs '..math.exp(20*(math.random()-0.5))..' kg'; end; return 'usage: !amity <measurement>'
cake === <action>gives %ioru% $rnd(a piece of,a slice of,an entire) $rnd(chocolate ,strawberry ,lemon ,lime ,ice cream ,fruit,cheese)cake.
flop === $rnd(everybody do the flop!,<action>flops,<action>flops %ioru%)
.. === ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
tropoize === <lua>if argc > 0 then w=""; for i=1,argc do if w~='' then sep=' ' else sep='' end; w=w..sep..arg[i]; end; if arg[1] == 'shocky' then w='<action>'; end; return w..' will get disconnected in '..(math.exp(25*(math.random()-0.5))*10)..' s'; end; return 'usage: !tropoize <measurement>'
<33 === !!!אני אוהב(ת) אותך
אוהב === !!!אני אוהב(ת) אותך
help === ♪♪♪ $rnd(i need somebody!,not just anybody!,you know i need someone!) ♪♪♪
> === >
ban === %ioru% $rnd(has been temporarily banned,is temporarily a band,has been hit on the head with a sack of banhammers)
amicat === <lua>f=factoid return f.pillowcat()..f.contrast()..' '..f.amity()
kataai === kataai $rnd(says: math yay \\o/,says: a dog has an owner but a cat has slaves,says: watch the night skies with me?,says: i like the smell of forests\, the sound of birds and\, the silence of the mountains,cooks up some strange and ominous looking concoction\, it reeks,wonders where the time went,is actually keeper in disguise.)
this === does work
randomtopic === the conversation topic is now: $rnd(leonardo dicaprio, angels, demons, priests, artificial meat, kitties, doggies, gaming, pillow, factoids, satanic rituals, food, dinosaur, pens, %user%, ssss, shipping, blood, death, turtles, pens, hotdogs, literature, biology, math, technology, philosophy, java, coffee, sleipnope, ghosts, poems, fanfics, spam, owls, minna, squids, marriage, the pope)
randomtopic: === the conversation topic is now: $rnd(leonardo dicaprio, angels, demons, priests, artificial meat, kitties, doggies, gaming, pillow, factoids, satanic rituals, food, dinosaur, pens, %user%, ssss, shipping, blood, death, turtles, pens, literature, biology, math, technology, philosophy, coffee, sleipnope, ghosts, poems, fanfics, spam, owls, minna, squids, marriage, the pope, fashion)
smartcookie === <action>hands %ioru% a smart cookie. 100% cookie dough, no electronics guaranteed!
nat === $rnd(oh no\, john is at it again!,na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, na\, natalie!)
ja === ew
what === <lua>return args=="is love"and"!baby don't hurt me"or args=="what"and"what what in the butt"or"wut"
john_cephalopod === john_cephalopod $rnd(puts on sunglasses. yeeeaaaah!,is a flamboyant cuttlefish.,camouflages on the seafloor.,hides.,cuttlefishes flamboyantly.,daydreams.,shamelessly advertises the krita monthly drawing challenge.,looks like a tiny underwater elephant.)
gingerbraidgirl === gingerbraidgirl $rnd(keeps some things secret,looks like reynir,actually *is* reynir,doesn't look like reynir despite what you might have heard,can spell,is literally seen by noemie,is $rnd(finger,gigner),wants shocky to say "woot!",is accidentally way too loud,only cares about sneks anymore,is peperkoekkikker)
pillowcat === pillowcat $rnd(fluffs up,murders everyone by cuddling,meows at amity,gets a bus like kataai\, whatever that means)
rub-usd === <lua>print((tonumber(args or "0") or 0)/60)
woot === $rnd(woot!,<action>woots at ginger's behest)
biscuit === have a biscuit
kittendimension === $rnd(only lo$rnd(gi,nely tropi,)cal miles here,kittens elegantly float from the sky,you are covered in thousands of kittens,everything is beautiful and nothing hurts,basse is only allowed here if he never makes one peep about scandinavia or miles)
centimeters === <lua>if argc > 0 then return factoid.meters(arg[1]/100); end; return 'usage: !centimeters <amount>'
inches === <lua>if argc > 0 then return (tonumber(arg[1]) * 2.54)..'cm'; end; return 'usage: !inches <amount>'
tape === <action>$rnd(tapes,bolts,fastens,superglues,staples,ties) %ioru% to the chat
foo === <alias>bar
qux === asdf
bar === <alias>qux
nonstandarddeviation === <alias>nonstddev
nsd === <alias>nonstandarddeviation
rickroll === https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dqw4w9wgxcq
comic === http://www.sssscomic.com/comic.php
caro === finn draws well :o
wb === $rnd(welcome back,välkommen tillbaka,dobrodošao/la nazad,С возвращением,welkom terug,tervetuloa takaisin,tere tulemast tagasi,Üdv újra,bem vind@ de volta,bentornat@,willkommen zurück,selamat kembali,chào mùng trỏ lại,bienvenido otra vez,다시 환영), %ioru%!
basicallycoffee === <action>pours a glass of coke for %ioru%
last === <lua>return cmd.pb("#ssss %ioru% 20")
plushie === <action>hands %ioru% $rnd(a lalli,a sigrun,a mikkel,an onni,a kitty,a sleipnope,a sjödraug) plushie :3
canonfact === <lua>if argc == 1 then fname=arg[1]; f=factoid[fname](); if type(f)~="string" then f='' else f='the fact that '..f; end; return factoid.headcanon(f); end; return 'usage: !canonfact <factoid>'
martin__alston === changes their pseudonym's last name again.
martin === martin $rnd(adds another underscore,changes their pseudonym's last name again,has a factoid?)
butterflywings === butterflywings $rnd(is nightmares on wax,bleeds into the chalice,burns in the sun ascendant)
ginger === <alias>gingerbraidgirl
salad === $rnd(quinoa salad for everyone!, there are three things dressed in this world—humans and hair and salad)
kitten === <action>gives %ioru% a$rnd( pillow, ginger, calico, gray, fluffy, black, white, purple, hairless,n orange,n abominable, spotted, leopard, zebra) kitten!
rand === %rand%
dingdong === the witch is dead
basse === $rnd(basse $rnd(rolls a d20 for dodge death,rolls a d20 for doge death\, such wow!,is mun mun,is missed\, where is he?),"i guess it takes a scandinavian to understand the scandinavian miles." ~basse_ circa 2016)
mom === <alias>sans that's what your mom said when you were born
hel === $rnd(helsinki!!!,helsinkiiii!!!,helsinkiiiiiiiiiii!!!)
hell === hell-sinki!!!
puppy === <action>hands %ioru% a$rnd( floofy, ginger, golden, gray, fluffy, black, white, purple, hairless,n orange,n abominable, spotted, leopard, zebra) $rnd(beagle,greyhound,wolf,lab,shepherd,retriever,shihtzu,bull,rottweiler,alsatian,mixed breed) puppy!
cymbals === *ba dum tss*
!lua === return "<lua>" .. (args or "")
composite === hi
heya === hm
loadlua === <lua>loadstring=load unpack=table.unpack f,e=load(net.get(table.remove(arg, 1)), "loadlua", "t", _env)assert(f,e)argc=#arg args=table.concat(arg,' ')ioru=argc>0 and args or sender return f()
passport === thed3m0npriest wishes for $rnd(dutch,german,swedish,norwegian,finnish,swiss,$rnd(brit-...,americ-...) i'll keep my current) citizenship.
ioru === <lua>print("%ior".."u%")
sloganate === <alias>loadlua https://github.com/dangranos/shocky_scripts/raw/master/slogan.lua %inp%
slogan === <alias>sloganate %inp%
link === <alias>comic
chocolate<action> === gives %ioru% $rnd(a small piece of chocolate)
choco === <alias>chocolate %inp%
chocolate === <action>gives %ioru% a $rnd(small,big,regular) piece of $rnd(regular,white,dark,peppermint,almond,hazelnut,yoghurt,milk,aerated) chocolate
clay === <alias>clayres %inp%
thanks === $rnd(thanks, thank you, thank, ta, hvala, danke, bedankt, merci, mersi, grazie, gracias, obrigad@, dziękuję, Ďakujem, teşekkürler, tack, takk, tak, kiitos, aitäh, 감사합니다, cảm ơn, terima kasih), %ioru%!
alpaca === <action>hands %ioru% an alpaca
coffee === <action>gives %ioru% a$rnd( coffee, flat white,n espresso, mocha, macchiato, cappuccino, latte, cup of hot chocolate,n americano, kopi luwak)
reload === webserver
blarg === bleghglblrghflgblrghlblrg
ulfs === <action>shoves %ioru%'s face into a pillow
ks === <alias>kickstarter %inp%
kickstarter === http://kck.st/2ah7hff
!prequel === http://www.prequeladventure.com/
tea === <alias>notcoffee %ioru%
kitty === <alias>kitten %inp%
scandinavianmile === $rnd(somebody please muzzle the swede,ginger's brain explodes,somebody please tell the metric system to make sense,i don't care that it exists it just needs a new name,jitsi will be ginger's ruination after all,scandinavian mile is the best invention of all time!,but what part of scandinavia?,scandinavian mile best mile)
helo === $rnd(<alias>hi,<alias>wb)
d3m0ncookies === <action>hands %ioru% a$rnd(n anti-anxiety,n anti-depression, relaxation,n energy, happiness inducing) cookie :d
prequel === prequel, or $rnd(making a cat cry: the adventure,everything is a federal fucking issue and also trying to make you miserable,katia managan: alcoholic\, vasilikphobe\, adventurer,slutcat adventures 2: daggerfall), http://www.prequeladventure.com/
izaya === $rnd(is working on another computer,is installing debian again,is installing windows (7) again,is installing windows (8) again,rmses)
cookie === <action>gives %ioru% a$rnd(n ethics,n achievement, memory, sugar, death, chocolate chip, lemon, vanilla, strawberry, cherry, plain,n icecream, rainbow, healing, radioactive, focus, fortune) cookie. it tastes $rnd(delightful,fantastic,good,great,like soul food,awesome,like heaven,hella good,like pride,less painful,like pleasant memories,like distraction,like neglected responsibilities,like a confused cracker).
hearts === <alias><3
wookie === <action>gives %ioru% a$rnd( special, black, chocolate chip, white, big, small, red, plain,n icecream, rainbow, brown, radioactive) wookie. it tastes like... please don't eat chewbacca.
pasta === <action>hands %ioru% a $rnd(spaghetti,penne,linguini,angel hair) $rnd(bolognese,carbonara,arabiatta,masala,aglio olio,nero)
icecream === <action>hands %ioru% some $rnd(banana,rocky road,chocolate chip,peppermint,pistachio,vanilla,strawberry,green tea,artificial meat,durian,coconut,sundae) ice cream :d
badtea === <action>pours a$rnd( hot,n iced, warm) $rnd(black,pu er,korean rice,ginseng,green,ginger,earl grey,darjeeling,chinese,peppermint,oolong,mikkel special,jasmine,fruit,vegetable,herbal,mikkel special,uhh...) tea on %ioru%
windfighter === windfighter $rnd(thinks you're working shocky too hard.,gives everyone bubble wrap and cookies.,hums.,boards ss bänkt.,arms everyone with cookie swords.,puts a new tray of cookies into the oven.,pretends to understand what everyone is talking about.,uses excellent punctuation)
pounce === pounce $rnd(pounces,doesn't pounce this time,pounces on %ioru%,curles up in a ball and sleeps\, no pouncing today!,inspires a communist revolution. vive la pounce!,roars meekly,purrs loudly,$rnd(duo,prove)s the heck out of it,vanishes into thin air\, months later\, a small\, mewing kitten is found...,inserts an emdash into his sentence—for no good reason)
rice === <action>hands %ioru% some $rnd(fried,steamed,grilled,boiled) $rnd(chicken,tofu,duck,troll,fish,beef,deer,ostrich,seafood,prawn,fish,mikkel special,compost,cauliflower) rice
headcanine === woof!
headfeline === meow!
balloonfromabdomen === all of a sudden, %ioru%'s voice gets really high pitched. a few small balloons start coming out of their mouth, as they struggle to breathe. suddenly, their chest explodes, as hundreds of balloons continue to expand from inside their lungs.
headequine === neigh
headvulpine === ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
scout === $rnd(paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage! yaaaaay!,scout is most best,scout says "hm".,scout is right behind %ioru%,xd,scout is off to $rnd(plant,water,tend to) $rnd(chilis,basil,snapdragons).)
sushi === <action>hands %ioru% some $rnd(octopus,squid,butterfish,sea cucumber,salmon,tuna,tofu,trollmeat,egg,salmon egg,prawn egg,saba,crabmeat,crapmeat,mikkel special) $rnd(nigiri,roll,maki) sushi!
chatwheel === <alias>randomtopic
page === $rnd(paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaage! yaaaaay! here\, take it:,omg\, look\, a new page! fblrgfgsdgbflbg!!! look here:,we are interrupting your scheduled programming with the following message\, a new page is available. rejoice and see here:) http://www.sssscomic.com/comic.php
pounceounce === $rnd(pounces,doesn't pounce this time,pounces on %ioru%,curles up in a ball and sleeps\, no pouncing today!,inspires a communist revolution. vive la pounce!,roars meekly,purrs loudly,$rnd(duo,prove)s the heck out of it,vanishes into thin air\, months later\, a small\, mewing kitten is found...,inserts an emdash into his sentence—for nogood reason,ponders procrastinating papers)
hrollo === hrollo $rnd(has better spelling than the average frenchman of his generation.,is fluent in both french languages.,can call you a chicken in five different languages.,understands "spiel" and "würfel".)
beer === <action>hands %ioru% a $rnd($rnd(duvel,stella artois,fruity,american,heineken,anchor,vegetable,mikkel special) beer,$rnd(guinness) stout) :d
goodnight === $rnd(laila tov!,good night!,bork bork!,hyvää yötä,god natt)
character === $rnd(lalli,tuuri,taru,onni,emil,siv,torbjörn,mikkel,sigrun,trond,reynir,the cat-tank,admiral olsen,that nordic council lady,captain harðardóttir,ss túnfiskurinn,onni's terrifying owl luonto,kitty)
tell === use .tell instead
superdark33 === superdark33 $rnd(is pretty,is cute,basks in own glory,reveals his inhuman form in all its stultifying hideousness,eats perserved vine leaves stuffed with rice,eats perserved fish that taste like boiled piss,summons mongols,presents self for praise,is available ;33,praises the sun,h o w q u i c k l y t h e t i d e t u r n s,gazes into the endless void,perches upon the very crucifex of oblivion)
test === testtest
clayres === clayres $rnd(is probably not an animated mud giant made by members of the jewish religion in prague,is pronounced 'cly' like 'clydesdale'\, not 'clay' like the stuff you make bowls out of,sends a lot of pings,keeps hitting the 'enter' key when they want to hit 'backspace',causes a lot of confusion,is confused,confused themselves,has issues with prepositions,says 'mweh') $rnd(,and $rnd(*hugs*,*patpats*))
hi === $rnd(hi,hello,yo,hej,bonjour,ciao,Ćao,salut,hallo,góðan daginn,hæ,hyvää päivää,buon giorno,zdravo,Привет,hei,olá,aloha,szia,selam,merhaba,سلام,hola,Привіт,안녕,שלום,sveiki,Γειά,היי,coucou,Բարև,terve,tere,chào,今日は,konnichiwa,こんにちは,Здраво,Ћао), %ioru%
fortune === the fortune cookie says: $rnd(you will live long and prosper,you'll do well \, i promise,you'll do better than you think :d)
kilt === $rnd(all things can be built \\ in a kilt.,a sword needs a hilt \\ as you need a kilt.,your youth may wilt \\ but not your kilt.,even under your quilt \\ you can wear a kilt.,through the grass and through the silt \\ you can always wear a kilt.)
muffin === <action>gives %ioru% a$rnd( ruby,n emerald, quartz, cinnamon, nutmeg, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, lemon, lime,n ice cream, fruit, cheese, doom, chocolate-blueberry, chocolate-mint)-$rnd(y,free,infused,sprinkled,topped,flavored) $rnd(bran,wheat,oat,barley,corn,rice,rye,amaranth,quinoa,ghost,fire,leopard,space,smoke-bomb) $rnd(muffin,cupcake,bun).
abprallen === $rnd(the frenchiest of fries,also known as cookie,doesn't share ben and jerry's,feasting upon the weak,the fryiest of french)
hftest === o/
thed3m0npriest === thed3m0npriest $rnd(prays for $rnd(demons,priests),gives a kitty pillow to %ioru%,wants to marry someone off,draws a pentagram using $rnd(chicken,cow,whale,t-rex,cockroach, %ioru%'s) blood \\o/,notices the conspicuous absence of $rnd(danes,belgians) on this channel,wishes for $rnd(german,nordic,dutch) citizenship,gives %ioru% a status effect cookie,wishes for snnooooow)
possum === oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, opossuuuum!
!sethval === $rnd(cookies rain upon everyone, here comes the dalahasten! choo choo!, shocky hair ruffles $rnd(seth, windy, super), seth hits f5 of ssss)
sethval === $rnd(cookies rain upon everyone,here comes the dalahasten! choo choo!,shocky hair ruffles $rnd(seth,super),seth hits f5 of ssss)
lennyface === ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
command === value
saphire === is a derg, has site at https://saphi.re/
bye === $rnd(bye,Ćao,hej då,ciao,viszlát,güle güle,au revoir,tungjatjeta,안녕,doei, dag, tschüss), %ioru%
liate === liate $rnd(is curious about %ioru%,casts magic missile at %ioru%,!cookies %ioru%,gives linux to %ioru%,is a robot,sacrifices %ioru% and cookies to the rng gods,gives %ioru% a paperclip,summons xeon to %ioru% using a $rnd(netflix,discord) sign,implements tit-for-tat in iterated prisoners' dilemmas)
f === <alias>fahrenheit %inp%
redacted === <lua>return (args:gsub("[^ ]", "█"))
paste === <lua>print(string.paste(args))
tokelvin === <lua>if argc then c=tonumber(arg[1]); return string.format('%.4fc = %.4fk',c ,(c + 273.15)) end; return 'usage: !tokelvin <degrees>'
kelvin === <lua>if argc then k=tonumber(arg[1]); return string.format('%.4fk = %.4fc',k ,(k - 273.15)) end; return 'usage: !kelvin <degrees>'
debug === %inp%
pi === 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310
teapot === $rnd(i'm a little teapot,short and stout,here is my handle,here is my spout,tip me over and pour me out,error 418)
stopit === knock it off!!!
ilovemysocks === squirt lemon juice into the eyes of an enemy, then insert salt
fortunecookie === though one may not be the most best, they can be the most stressed
discord === i'm howling at the moon...
sock === $rnd(gives you warm and cozy socks, provides multiple socks to help you layer up, gives you the good socks from that one tourist shop in finland, gives you some socks bought at the county fair that are made from alpaca wool, hands you a warm pair of socks and some tangerine orange tea, gives you a nice pair of socks and a comfy sweater, gives you god level socks, you attain the most best socks fit for the most best warrior)
cancer === $rnd(discordapp.com,https://discord.gg/4xe3mf8)
8ball === $rnd(it is certain.,it is decidedly so.,without a doubt.,yes - definitely.,you may rely on it.,as i see it\, yes.,most likely.,outlook good.,yes.,signs point to yes.,reply hazy\, try again,ask again later.,better not tell you now.,cannot predict now.,concentrate and ask again.,don't count on it.,my reply is no.,my sources say no.,outlook not so good.,very doubtful.)
gauntlet === $rnd(red,blue,yellow,green) $rnd(warrior,valkerie,wizard,elf) shot the $rnd(food.,potion!)
sweater === $rnd(provides to you a cozy sweater, gives you a nice sweater with some neat patterns on it, take this sweater and eat it, gives you the world's most comfortable sweater and some tea of your choice because you deserve it, gives you a soft sweater and proceeds to write an essay on why you are amazing, gives you a light up sweater so that you don't get hit by a car)
list === https://ptpb.pw/wmaj
sad === :(
socks === $rnd(sourcream is good\, your taste buds are just wrong, grumbles about the weather\, unless the weather happens to be rain\, rain is good, thor ragnarok is a good movie\, go watch it, life didn't give you lemons\, they were genetically engineered from a citron. do whatever you want with those lemons\, humanity earned them for you, don't open your fridge, if you run faster\, you'll live, buy gold)
yeet === <action> throws mjolnir
yoink === <action>yoinks mjolnir out of the air
freehugs === ranvor hugs %user%
targethugs === ranvor hugs %ioru%
hosttest === %user%:%host%
circle === •
answer === <lua>assert(argc>0,"usage: answer <age> <pronouns> <location>")local a=arg[1];local b=arg[2];local c=arg[3];cmd.fmap("questions "..sender.." age: "..a..", pronouns: "..b..", location: "..c)print(sender..": age "..a..", pronouns "..b..", location "..c)
me === <lua,map=questions>local a=ioru;local b={nil,nil,nil};for c,d in pairs(map)do if string.lower(c)==string.lower(a)then a=c;b=d;break end end;if b~=nil then print(b)else print("please add %ioru% with ?answer")end
drama === http://www.dramabutton.com/
hype === $rnd(hype! hype! hype! hype!,https://i.imgur.com/1lh41eh.gif)
oak === %rnd(thing one,thing two)
soup === $rnd(%user% threatens to boil over,<action>dispenses endless soup,youd think that id eventually learn that the toaster makes things hot,aka xx_dankbowlofsoup420_xx,<action>busts through the wall\, "oh yea",ill give ya a good monch,halp,it is my time\, i must go! *dives down the drain*,emerges from the chrysalis as a beautiful cuppa soup,yeah its ma kink)
whiteoak === $rnd(sleep is for the weak)
duck === $rnd(the duck!,quack!,ducks!,<action>ducks,https://i.imgur.com/uphd1mc.png)
despacito === https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjqp7kiw5fk
leekspin === https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wne4vf9cq4
stew === <action>hands %ioru% a potato and leek stew
generalguy === <alias>generalguy4872 %inp%
generalguy4872 === generalguy4872 $rnd(pokes %ioru% with a stick,eats %ioru%,draws their +127 claymore,runs around spraying yellow jackets with wasp poison,eats onion rings,was eaten by a grue,ducks,shot the food,needs food badly,is the walrus,launches every 'zig' for great justice!,slaps %ioru% around a bit with a large trout,used solarbeam!,gives %ioru% a network wrench for hitting routers,walked into lava whilist escaping trolls)
stream === https://www.twitch.tv/hummingfluff
nujv === <alias>help
allstar === sombody once told me the world was gonna roll me...
allyourbase === $rnd(in ad 2101\, war was beginning,what happen?,somone set up us the bomb.,we get signal. what?,main screen turn on.,it's you.,how are you gentelmen!,all your base are belong to us!,you have no chance to survive make your time.,hahaha,take off every 'zig'!,you know what you doing.,move zig! for great justice!)
notcoffee === <action>pours a$rnd( hot,n iced, warm) $rnd(black,pu er,korean rice,ginseng,green,ginger,earl grey,darjeeling,chinese,peppermint,oolong,mikkel special,jasmine,fruit,vegetable,herbal,mikkel special,uhh...) tea $rnd(for,over,for) %ioru%
tumbleweed === @⁔ ⁔ ⁔
twilightzone === $rnd(you are crossing over into another dimension. one not only of sight and sound but also of mind$rnd(...,... or you could just be watching an old-timey sci-fi show.),there is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man\, as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. the middle ground between light and shadow\, science and superstition\, it lies between the pit of mans fears and the summit of his knowledge.)
friends === $rnd(so no one told you life was gonna be this way,it's like you're always stuck in second gear,it just hasn't been your day your week your month or even your year,i'll be there for you when the rain starts to pour)
blame === $rnd(j'accuse,je mange,tu accuse,ich beschuldige,i blame) $rnd(%ioru%,ton pere,mon pere,ta mere,???,the system,%user%,minna,america,windy,è,ascii)
lemmehugya === %user% hugs %ioru%
noseboop === %user% booped %ioru% on the nose
lastresort === ♫ cut my frog in two pieces this is my lab report ♫
mikkelface === ᐡ_ᐡ