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Laura Bretan

May 24th, 2021
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  1. Laura Bretan, for your consideration. Another of the no-hopers that think their so-called 'angelic' voice will get them fame and fortune. It doesn't.
  2. Another of the infamous 'Got Talent' auditionees with a face that would keep Alcoholics Anonymous' membership levels at record highs and a voice that is not unlike a round of moonshine-fuelled Appalachian penis fencing. Absolutely no ability to speak of, but still manages to draw the crowds in.
  3. The few songs she has butchered are probably some of the worst covers known to man, and it is a small miracle she is still relevant and still famous as a result.
  4. If she was to do a duet with Patricia Janeckova, or some other child singer with an equally as awful operatic voice, then the foundations of the venue where the two of them were singing would most likely collapse, bringing a quick and well-deserved end to their fledgling careers.
  5. As for Bretan's personality? She is overconfident with a level of cockiness that even a granny-bashing, skateboard-riding tweenager has to go without, and she seems to think that her poor excuse for an operatic voice will get her places.
  6. Her stage presence is non-existent. She basically stands there, mic in hand, and lets her awful excuse for a singing voice sell her as an up-and-coming artist who is not worth wasting your money on. If she ever holds a live concert, do not buy tickets, Buy some booze instead, you will need it.
  7. Nathan "Ned Kelly" Sawford
  8. Leader of the Kelly Gang, Owner of the "Tassie TV" YouTube channel
  9. facebook.com/nathan.sawford.7
  10.  
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