I Love this doctor!
>  Q: Doctor, I've heard that
> cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
> true? A:
> Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't
> waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding
> up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend
> life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take
> nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol
> intake?
> A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that
> mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more
> of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom
> up! Q: How can I calculate my
> body/fat ratio?
> A:
> Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to
> one. If you have two body, your ratio two to
> one. Q: What are some of the
> advantages of participating in a regular exercise
> program?
> A:
> Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No
> pain...good!  Q: Aren't fried foods bad for
> you?
> A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How
> getting more vegetable be bad? Q : Will sit-ups
> help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
> middle?
> A:
> Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should
> only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
>  Q: Is chocolate bad for
> me?
> A:
> You crazy?!? HELL-OOO!!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It
> best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your
> figure?
> A:
> If swimming good for figure, explain whale to
> me. Q: Is getting in shape important
> for my lifestyle?
> A:
> Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well...
> I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
> had about food and diets. And
> remember:
> Life should NOT be a journey to
> the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an
> attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in
> sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
> body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
> "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"  AND..... For those of you who watch what
> you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
> It's a relief to know the truth after all those
> conflicting nutritional studies.  1. The Japanese eat very little
> fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
> and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little
> red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
> Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of
> red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans...
>  5. The Germans drink a lot of
> beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer
> heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION:
> Eat and drink what you
> like. Speaking
> English is apparently what kills
> you.
>
>  -- "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups!"
>