on pc as jake convo w/bro

— golgothasTerror [GT] began bothering timaeusTestified [TT] at 04:08 —

[04:08] TT: How about stating your business when chatting someone.

[04:08] TT: One would think you’d have learned that by now, Jake.

[04:09] GT: Im not really in a position for quick-fire typing!

[04:09] TT: Something going on in your plant-infested pinky-pie island?

[04:10] GT: I daresay a whole plethora of somethings are indeed going on! Ive currently found respite from a pack of those wild fairybulls.

[04:12] GT: I find myself wondering if pleading my case for more uranium is at all justified and going to result in a possible victory? Or am i doomed to suffer these blasted fauna encounters for a while longer?

[04:13] TT: You know, I still don’t have the slightest rat’s ass of an idea what the fuck you could possibly describe when mentioning names like “fairybull”.

[04:13] TT: And you know where all the uranium you need is to be found, bromide.

[04:14] GT: Imagine a bull with fairy wings and about the size of a housecat. They dont sound at all intimidating but when theres a pack of them theyre pretty terrible! And I know… Im just having a really damn hard time getting to it!

[04:18] TT: Well I’d say you better get your old-lady ass up and move towards the location containing your precious fucking loot.

[04:18] TT: Unless you are not capable of that.

[04:18] GT: I daresay i wouldnt turn down a bit of your help if you felt so inclined to offer it.

[04:20] TT: I remember a certain someone who pussied out on an offer that was made in one of our conversations previous to this moment.

[04:22] GT: *Tugs at collar.* I certainly wasnt expecting this when you gave it to me, thats for sure.

[04:23] TT: Well, Jake, I think there’s only so much a bro can do for another bro.

[04:23] TT: There are things in life where you have to pull out the stick out of your ass and think a bit on your own.

[04:23] TT: Much like when you’re writing a test in class and that douche of a nerd next to you has built a bookwall just so you can’t copy a fucking thing he’s writing.

[04:24] TT: You’re basically on your own.

[04:24] GT: Im afraid i might have dropped a cartridge or two trying to scramble away from that giant seamonster, blast! And i should have figured youd be nixd as help. It was worth a try at least!

[04:26] TT: Personally I find it thoroughly rude to not count my personal advice as help.

[04:26] TT: Which is to this day still rad as fuck.

[04:26] GT: Telling me im on my own hardly constitutes as advice!

[04:27] TT: But I’m giving you the strength to think on your own.

[04:27] TT: I’m encouraging the fuck out of you right now.

[04:29] GT: By telling me i should have taken your earlier help? Thank you, captain hindsight!

[04:29] TT: No problem.

[04:29] GT: Boy howdy do i ever feel encouraged. Empowered, even!

[04:29] TT: See, that’s the fucking spirit I’m talking about right there.

[04:31] GT: I would call you a tool if it were at all in my gentlemanly nature! But then id remember tools are actually useful.

[04:31] GT: So unfortunately my rapier wit will have to be shelved for another time.

[04:32] TT: Your rapier wit can lick my carbon ass, Jake. Instead of trying to come up with some witty response you should try focusing on what to do right now.

[04:34] GT: It wouldnt waste its time. But its getting rather rowdy over the little bank ive hidden behind…. Think english, think!

[04:34] TT: I don’t mean to make your journey harder, not by far. I am merely trying to make you stronger for what’s to come.

[04:34] TT: Remember, Jake, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.

[04:35] GT: Im not sure i can fully appreciate the sentiment under the current conditions!

[04:35] TT: Even though that is damn fucked up and you’ll probably have a broken bone or two, and basically that’s nonsense then because you’ll be crippled like a fucking truck without wheels on a highway leading up to a mountain.

[04:35] TT: But it’s the thought that counts.

[04:36] GT: We sure are filled with positive thoughts, arent we.

[04:36] TT: Just look on the bright side of life.

[04:38] TT: If you’re lying there, crippled, bleeding your ass out, zoned by fucking shittons of fauna, yelling, nay, screaming for help, always keep in mind one fucking thing.

[04:38] TT: It ain’t gonna get worse than that.

[04:38] GT: Wow, i feel better already!

[04:38] TT: See, now this is what I’m talking about, bromide.

[04:38] TT: Now go out there and rip out some tails.

[04:39] GT: Ugh, if only to cease this insufferable conversation with you! Im going to try and fetch my lost cartridges. Wish me luck.

[04:39] TT: Done.

[04:41] GT: Many thanks, comrade! *Charges hill - cautiously!*