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Connie Talbot

May 24th, 2021
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  1. Who's been in showbusiness for over a decade? Who has a voice like a dead fish being smashed on concrete? If you answered Connie Talbot, you would be correct.
  2. This miserable excuse for talent is probably one of the worst, if not THE worst child singer to appear within the last few years. She had (and still has) absolutely no singing ability worth coinage.
  3. The only reason she ascended to fame is that Simon Cowell took pity on her owing to her face, which he was intoxicated enough to admire in the first place, and that got her past the auditions round.
  4. Her face, if you can call it that, is a miserable combination of wrinkles, zits and warts, with a side of drug-addicted Old Hag (think Snow White's nemesis with the apple).
  5. As far as her repertoire of songs goes, there is probably nothing in the known world she has not butchered to the point even the original song runs rings around her so called excuse for a 'cover'.
  6. Her fanbase are a bunch of whining, drooling windowlickers that call themselves "Conniefriends" as if that's something to be proud of, supporting a miserable, talentless hag with a pizza complexion and a singing voice that increases Alcoholics Anonymous membership.
  7.     Songs she has butchered include:
  8.     * Over the Rainbow
  9.     * Ben
  10.     * White Christmas
  11.     * I Will Always Love You
  12.     * many many more too numerous to list here
  13. There are a number of her CDs for sale, and the author does not recommend you buy them, or give Connie any money, as you would be wasting it either way.
  14. What does the future hold for Connie Talbot? Not much in showbusiness. She can't get a leg up in the music business owing to her voice that sounds like a dead fish being smashed on concrete, so she'll end up standing on a street corner waiting to get a leg over the next drunken sailor that comes by with £1 and a hard-on.
  15. Nathan "Ned Kelly" Sawford
  16. Leader of the Kelly Gang, Owner of the "Tassie TV" YouTube channel
  17. facebook.com/nathan.sawford.7
  18.  
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